Notes: Well...This takes place when Naruto casts are all in shippuuden and after Sasuke killed Orochimaru already.
Disclaimers: Naruto isn't mine...neither is the daycare, if it really exists in the first place...
"Good Job, Team Kakashi." Tsunade, Konoha's Godaime, took a slip of her sake and surveyed her apprentice flanked by her teammates. Team Kakashi was currently standing at attention after the completion of a B-rank mission.
"As you know, Konoha is rather peaceful now that Sasuke did the world a favor by killing that troublesome snake, thus, Konoha has been receiving lesser and lesser missions lately." Tsunade sighed and took a big gulp of sake. Less threats, less missions, less money, and less gambling for the Hokage…damn.
"And…?"
Tsunade mentally prepared herself for a big explosion over what she was about to tell them. "Thus, I would like you all to go for a D-rank mission."
She closed her eyes count. Her words should sink in in 1... 2…3…
"NANI?" screamed Konoha's Number One Hyperactive Most Surprising Ninja, Uzumaki Naruto. Did I forget to add loudmouth? Yeah, that too.
"Naruto, shut up!" Naruto's violent pink haired teammate, Haruno Sakura screamed back. She pushed her teammate into a bow, chocking him and at the same time, hissing "If you want to live longer, you'd better shut up now!"
Naruto flailed his arms wildly in an attempt to breath. Sakura let go. "But Shishou, the last time I checked, there was a few A-ranks, we could-"
"Those A-ranks are for my jonins and ANBUs. The last B-rank were given to Shikamaru, so you'll just have to stick with the D-ranks." Tsunade cut Sakura off.
"What about C-ranks?"
"Don't have any to spare."
"…Aw man…this sucks."
"Further more, your team have experience in this matter, and must I add that Genins should take on Genin missions?"
Naruto sat on the floor huffily and pouted in the corner at the unjust.
"But Shishou, Sai and Yamato-taichou can make up for Naruto's weakness…"Sakura still refused to take up a D-rank.
"May I remind you I got trained from one of the legendary sanins?" Naruto's voice came from the back of the room.
"Jiraiya doesn't count- bet you just learn how to peep on women."
"HEY!"
"It's a big pity to have this dickless wonder on our team then. My last D-rank was 6 years ago." Sai probed Naruto with a toe.
" Why you…" Naruto had a stress mark on his head as he tried to pounce on Sai, but was successfully held back by Yamato-taichou, Team Kakashi's captain. Tsunade banging her fist on her desk stopped their tiff. They got back into attention. Tsunade carried on.
"Your mission will be babysitting-" Naruto and Sakura's screams of terror interrupted her. They were never the same after coming back from their last trip from the daycare. Neither was Tsunade.
"WHAT? You know I hate babies! You know baa-chan, you're already fifty plus. Act like someone your age, those kind sweet old ladies who bake brownies. Give me a A-rank already! No wonder people call you a baa-baa. An ONI BAA-BAA!" Naruto lost his temper and screamed. His was never going to baby-sit ever again! Ever!
"Naruto! Apologize!" Sakura screamed. We're gonna die… We're gonna die… We're gonna die…!She thought frantically.
Yamato gulped. Naruto sure got guts to call the Hokage that. Well, I'd better get my will ready then.
"What…did you just call me…?"
BAM. Everybody winced. Poor Naruto.
"Ahem" Tsunade cleared her throat. "Now that the irritating distraction is gone, I was saying that-"
"You would give us an A-rank mission." Naruto butted into Tsunade's speech.
"Yes. I would give you…NARUTOOOOOOOOO!!!" Tsunade punched Naruto again. BAM.
"THAT'S IT! NOW I'M ANGRY!" Opps. Angry Tsunade isn't a very nice sight. She changed Team Kakashi's mission scroll and snarled. " You're next mission will be to baby-sit all babies in Konoha's Daycare Center!!! This is final!"
"NOOOO…" Naruto wailed. Sakura turned as white as the sheets in the hospital and fluttered to the ground. Their greatest nightmare has come true! The two ANBU blinked. What's so bad about babysitting? It can't be all that bad…right? Tsunade chuckled wickedly.
Yamato and Sai had huge difficulties in bringing Naruto and Sakura to the Daycare. Yamato had to drag Sakura as she made the best use of he superhuman strength to claw at the earth. Sai had to drag Naruto, who was clinging onto everything he could get a hold on, from lampposts to villages to a returning Hinata, who gave a muffled 'eep' and immediately fainted. Both of them were crying buckets of tears, making the ground soggy. Yamato and Sai were embarrassed to call them their teammates.
"Come on! You dickless wonder!" Sai grunted as he dragged Naruto.
"I don't wanna…!" Naruto grunt back, clutching onto Akamaru's tail. Kiba swatted his hand away. Naruto grabbed onto him instead.
"We are ANBU. Shinobi. We complete every mission we are assigned to." Sai pulled harder.
"Heck who cares about your stupid rules! I'm not ANBU! I don't care!" Naruto gave up on Kiba and moved on to Shino. Note to self: Never touch an Aburame. Sai finally dragged Naruto away, whose body was covered with charka-eating Kikaichuu bugs.
Here they are now, at the gates of the horrible, horrible Daycare. Sakura had long given up during the trip and turned into a vegetable. Naruto was creating a miniature lake with the amount of tears he shed and was making a lot of noise. Both remembered what happened during their last mission here. They had a real hard time ridding themselves from those pipsqueaks.
" I'm telling you! The babies here even made Sasuke and Orochimaru go mad!" Naruto was bailing on the floor. "Sakura-chan and I just barely escaped with our sanity. Nee, Sakura-chaaaaan?"
"Sgfgtbkjkrtt…" Sakura gave a senseless reply. Sai raised and eyebrow and Yamato sighed at Naruto's antics.
" Naruto, Sakura. You will co-operate with us on this mission, right…?" Yamato did his 'scary face' on the both of them.
"Hai!" They squeaked.
Soft music was played in the background while pink and blue soap bubbles and sparkles surround our lovely Team Kakashi. Each of them was changing a poop filled diaper. "WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO KID?!" Naruto screamed at the authoresses and ripped the background off.
The babies stared to wail. "Oh, are you hungry? Try some ramen, its good!" Naruto-cum-nanny plopped down a steaming bowl of ramen in front of one.
" Oh! Do you need another diaper?" He tossed a clean sheet of diaper to another. It landed smacked on the poor baby's face.
" Eh? You need to pee? Well, go ahead, don't be modest, I won't watch!" Stress marks after stress marks begin appearing on poor Naruto's forehead and his eye was twitching madly as he bruised himself on calming the whole nursery down. This carried down for a while until the whole center bursts into horrible screeches.
" GAAGH! This is friggin' NOT happening to meeee!!!" Naruto collapsed and joined in with the wailing.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Sakura sighed as she fed multiple babies milk all at once, throwing the bottles like kunais, unceremoniously stuffing their face. Crude but effective, this method shuts them up at once.
Sai was trying his best to ignore the babies and took out his drawing tools, all the while tossing babies out of his bag. Yamato got fed up with the wailing and gave a few noisy ones a dose of his famous 'scary face'. They cried even louder. Opps, wrong move, taichou.
"Sensei! You're the ones who drag us here, make yourself useful!" Sakura scolded.
Yamato sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Chance!
"Ahh…sorry Sakura, but I suddenly remembered about a meeting with Kakashi-sempai about Naruto's training, so if you'll excuse me…" He teleported away with a 'poof' of smoke.
" Iie. That's even more un-useful." Sakura sighed. Baka sensei.
Now Sai, who was once happily drawing, was now swatting babies away with his sketchbook. His neat hair was sticking out in odd directions, under the great pressure of stress he was exposed to.
" I said Get lost, get lost, get lost, and you…! GET LOST!" He screamed.
He finally lost it when a baby with inky feet happily crawled over one of his recent masterpieces, staining it badly.
Seeing this, both Naruto and Sakura each grabbed a handful of babies and jumped to the courtyard. They watched as inked beasts burst forth and destroyed the building…AGAIN.
Now, who to deposit our load with?
"Konoha is so peaceful eh?" Kakashi asked as he took a slip of green tea.
BOOM! Down went the daycare. The ANBU and ex-ANBU ignored it.
" Hai, sempai. Konoha is VERY peaceful." Yamato replied as he, too, took a slip of green tea.
Jiraiya, the toad sanin of Konoha's legendary trio, and mega pervert, was currently doing what he like best. Peeping. At the women's bathhouse. No, no, no…the correct term would be research…
"Ehe, he, he, he, he, he!" He chuckled to himself. Unfortunately, the women heard him and started throwing their soap bottles, towels, tubs and stools at him. He immediately started dogging them.
"Nah, Nah, can't touch me!" He grinned. A chair hit him full in the face. He fell. Hard. 'Damn, I let my guard down. That must be a shinobi…' He sat up and sulked.
" Aww…I wish I could meet a real sexy babe…like…"
"Jiraiya-samaaaa…" Naruto cooed in his orioke form.
"THAT!" Jiraiya finished. " 100 MARKS!" Before he could even start drooling, however, Naruto changed back.
" Well…" Naruto began slyly. " If you wanted babes, you could follow me…"
" Babes?" Jiraiya was practically drooling at the magic words.
" Not just any babes… CUTE babes!"
"How many?" Jiraiya's mouth became a fountain as his drool splashed out.
"Hmm…about one hundred…and you'll be in a room…alone…" Naruto's grin got wider.
Jiraiya fell to the lie easily.
"LEAD THE WAY, GAKI!"
"OSU!"
XXXXXXXXXXX"It's true I said I wanted cute babes…but these are babe-ies! BABIES! NARUUTOOO! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" For the first time in his life, the great toad sanin was stumped.
"Our mission is a success, Tsunade-sama!" Sakura cried joyfully. Team Kakashi stood before their Hokage, wide grins plastered over their faces.
'More like you got rid of them…' Tsunade thought, remembering the last time. Naruto, as if reading her mind, flashed her a cheesy 'not-me-I'm-innocent' grin.
"Would you like to see the success yourself, Tsunade-sama? You seem to doubt us." Sai said, still trying to straighten his hair but was failing miserably.
'Well, at least he looks a bit disheveled. That means that the babies are as active a ever. ' Tsunade thought. ' Poor boy. I pity him.' "Fine. We shall see." She said, eyeing Naruto warily.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX" Tah- Daaaaaah!!!" Tsunade squinted. It was dark. Suddenly, the lights turned on and there, on the couch, lay her perverted teammate, semi-conscious and drowning in a pile of babies. Babies on his clothes, pulling his hair, rolling on the floor, bouncing on the couch, everywhere!
Tsunade turned to Naruto and towered over him menacingly. He gulped nervously.
" Ehe, he, he…! Umm…have fun!"
Then, before she could choke him, he slammed the foolproof Tsunade door shut.
"That brat…! I'll kill him!" She screamed. Now she was stuck with babies! And she does not have anything to punch! Wait…
"Finally…a-a real sexy babe…"
Oh well, there was still Jiraiya. Tsunade flexed her muscles in preparation for the full round trashing she was going to give to her teammate.
Author's Notes: Taa Daah! Chapter 2 is up! Banzai! We really do love to tourture the sanins, don't we? This is written and typed down by Yuzuki-sama! Of course Sakura-chan helped out too, right? (Did you...?) cough Anyways, the next chapter will be when the Naruto cast is all Jonins already. Stay tuned and the price for reading this is to REVIEW!