Ch. 2: I'm Terrified
To sum up my feelings simply, I'm terrified. The public will no doubt view this badly. I'll be judged every which way. I'll be seen as a freeloader getting an easy pass. I didn't endure the hardship that this group went through when it first took off. My true talent and value to the team will be heavily speculated.
But in all honesty, this is the least of my worries.
You wanna know what I'm worried about? Whether or not Bangtan will accept me. They've been through thick and thin together. They've known eachother as trainees. Who am I to them? I'm just a freeloader. That's what they'll think.
And they're not wrong.
To be honest, I'm a walking contradiction. I was a trainee, yet I hate being restricted. Because of this, I've faced many difficulties. I have randomly disappeared from a company for disliking my prisoner-like life as a trainee and was consequently put on the entertainment company "blacklist." Yes, there's a blacklist. Basically, it's like a big giant arrow pointed at my head that flashes the words "DON'T HIRE" in bright lights.
But I couldn't go back to my family. They were expecting the most from me. My mom endured so much hardship because of me. I'm too ashamed to show my face at home again and say that I've given up.
So I re-auditioned. I went to my small apartment expecting nothing. So when I got a call in the late hours of the night, I was pinching myself nonstop. I could feel my heart beat in my throat. I cleared my throat as I picked up the phone. The call came from a rising company called Big Hit. They told me that they were very interested in recruiting me. I only knew about them because of their renowned group Bangtan Boys (BTS). I guess after their success, Big Hit was forming a new succeeding group, right?
Wrong.
When I heard their plans for me, my jaw dropped. Why? Why? It didn't make sense. I didn't dare ask why though, because this was like winning the lottery. Although I was alone at my apartment and on the phone, I bowed like an idiot out of sheer gratefulness.
This was so absurd.
I couldn't think of any reason why they'd need or even want me. BTS is already so successful. They have a huge fanbase. They're known worldwide. They're literally bulletproof.
I'm excited, and I'm so confused. But more than anything,
I'm terrified.