Chapter Two: Sorry isn't enough

"Charles has been here for me when I needed him! He gave me comfort, love and support when I needed it most! He's wonderful with the children!" I shook with rage. "And you dare to tell me that he's not good enough for me!? You went off for two years around the world and didn't even think of sending me a message!? How dare you! And how do I know that you've been faithful to me?"

"Because unlike you," he said. "I honored my marriage vows!"

"You're despicable!" I shrieked. "I thought you were dead! And how dare you say that Charles isn't good enough for me?"

Sherlock didn't hesitate to answer. "He deserves better than you. You'll only break his heart."

"What?" I had almost reached the breaking point.

"You're not good enough for anyone because you're still in love with me." His eyes blazing were blazing with fury. "You never stopped loving me." I let out several aggravated shrieks. "Your first reaction wasn't to faint, scream, or cry. The first thing you did was call my name and hug me. If fact, you returned my kisses, quite eagerly."

"I was confused."

"No you weren't." He stated as he stepped towards me. "You wanted me back and you know it. If he wasn't in the room, you know that you would have let me take you on that cot without a moments thought or hesitation!"

"That's enough, now step away from her." Charles gave Sherlock a shove for good measure before standing protectively beside me.

"She's my wife."

"She was your wife!" Charles shouted. "That was two years ago! You've no claim on her now. What kind of a man are you? Haven't you hurt her enough?"

"I had my reasons. I did what I had to do to protect her."

"You broke her heart in two!" Charles shouted. "Tammy and I have spent hours and hours talking about you. I won't deny that she loved you, but it was obvious to me that you didn't think of her feelings at all when you took off like that!" Charles handed me our engagement ring, but I couldn't slide it on, in front of Sherlock. "When you love someone, you never hurt them."

"I assume that you both think that I did this for my own pleasure. I didn't." Sherlock shook his head. "I knew it would hurt and devastate you Tammy, but I had no other choice."

"Hurt me? Devastate me?" I shook my head. "You killed me Sherlock. I thought that my heart had died."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cover it Sherlock."

"What else can I say?"

"That's just it. Nothing, you can say, will ever be good enough. Nothing can make up for the mental and physical cruelty and anguish that you heaped upon me in those two years. It was like I was losing my mind! Two years! And not once did you think to tell one word! One word! Why on earth couldn't you have at least warned me! Or told me that you were going to vanish for a while and not to worry?"

"Because you would have worried anyway!"

"Damn right I would, but at least I would have known that you were alive. I was your wife! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Believe me Tammy," he said. "I wanted to contact you so many times. I almost broke down on our anniversary, both times and called you. But I thought you'd be unable to keep my death a secret."

"What?!"

"You'd have let the cat out of the bag."

"Oh, so this is my fault!" I screamed. "How is it my fault?"

"Oh for God's sake! Look at you now! Shrieking your head off! I don't want everyone knowing I'm still alive!"

"Oh, it's still a secret?"

"Yes! It is a secret!"

"Oh! Fine! My lips are sealed!" I exhaled as I rubbed my head. "God, I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Shut up Sherlock!"

Charles took my arm. "Tammy, let's go. You should lie down for a bit. Calm yourself and think this through."

Sherlock steps in front of me, leveling his gaze at Charles. "Allow me to open your eyes before you get anymore grand delusions." He grabbed the chain around my neck and lifted it, revealing the three rings he'd given me, still on the chain. "Look. She still wears my promise ring, engagement and my wedding ring. Judging by the tan line on her neck, she hasn't taken it off her neck from the moment she took them off her finger. The wrinkles in her skin prove that she's slept in them as well. I daresay if you looked at her breasts, you'd see that there are little bruises from where they've been pressing into her skin at night." I swatted his hand away. I didn't know where to look and I couldn't look at Charles. "You've handed her back her engagement ring, and she hasn't put it on yet. If she were in love with you, she would have put it on to show me that I clearly don't have a part in her life anymore. But she hasn't. It's fairly obvious that she is still in love with me, so do the two of us a favor and get out of her life."

My phone rang and I turned towards it. I lifted it up to see it was from Mrs. Holmes. Desperate to hear a sensible voice, I answered it. "Hello?"

Tammy? She sounded so distressed, but she was trying to be strong for me. "Are you all right?

"As fine as can be expected." I said shooting Sherlock a glare. "I'm taking it rather calmly, all things considered. I'd really love to chop him into a bunch of little pieces!"

Sherlock snorted. "You don't have the stomach for blood."

"Shut up!" I snapped at him. "Just shut up!"

Tammy, I'm calling for another reason. Not just to warn you about Sherlock being alive. It's more….news involving Sherlock.

I exhaled. "After tonight, I can take anything."

You two...you're not legally married anymore. I sank down onto the cot. Mycroft had all of your marriage papers liquidated, to make things look better.

"Or to get me to accept his proposal." I murmured. "I haven't forgotten. Thank you. We're...shouting at each other currently, and I definitely needed this information."

Tammy, try not to be too angry with him.

I looked up at Sherlock. "He's the great Sherlock Holmes, he doesn't need anyone and it doesn't matter to him who he hurts as long as he solves every little puzzle. You don't break the heart of someone you love. You don't run out on them for two years, without a word, and then waltz back in as if nothing had happened!"

She sighed. I'll let you two talk. I'd say goodnight, but there's nothing good about it, is there?

"For you, yes, your son is alive. Me, I just accepted another man's proposal and my not-so-dead husband walks in the door. Goodbye." I turn the phone off and looked at the two men who were having a stare down, and as usual, Sherlock was winning. "Well, Sherlock, you might want to have a talk with Mycroft about what his motives were when he liquidated our marriage papers. I know for a fact that they weren't pure motives at the time." Sherlock blinked in surprise. "We...aren't married anymore." I turned to Charles. "Take me home, now, please."

Charles nodded and took my arm as Sherlock's eyes narrowed. "Why don't I take you?" Sherlock said. "We need to talk about this."

"We'll talk about this in the morning Sherlock." I said. "I'm not up to this anymore. It's a miracle I haven't had a heart attack or collapsed into hysterical sobs."

"Well, I'd like to know why you're acting as if you're not interested in resuming our relationship." I stopped and bit my lip. God! Why was he so dense at times!? "After all, our vows were until death do us part."

"And you were dead. So we have parted."

"Come on, Baker Street is only a few minutes away."

"That's just it Sherlock." I said as Charles helped me into my coat. "You don't know anything. I don't live at Baker Street anymore. And I haven't for a few months now."

"Where did you move to then?" Charles and I remained silent, waiting for Sherlock to figure out what we weren't saying. Sherlock's eyes flashed in shocked anger. "You live with him!?"

"We share a flat." Charles spat at him.

Sherlock stared at me. "What? Tammy!" Sherlock swore violently several times and I stared at him in shock. I was surprised and flattered by his obvious anger and jealousy. "How could you?" I jumped as he shouted angrily at me. "I've been faithful to you! I come back and find you-

"How was I to know?!" I shouted at him.

"Have you had sex with her?" Sherlock demanded. "If you have, I swear to God that I will kill you!"

"He's a gentleman Sherlock!" I shouted as my face heated bright red. "And don't you dare think so low of me! No matter how much you put on the charm, you couldn't get me until we were married!"

"You moved in with him!" He shouted. "What else was I to think?"

"We haven't been intimate in any way, shape or form! We have separate quarters!" My head ached and I groaned. "I can't take any more of this! I have to see the children and make sure they're all right!"

"Children?" Sherlock said. "What children?"

"Yours!" I shout. "You bastard!" Sherlock looks as if he's about keel over in disbelief. I shocked him. For once in my life I actually shocked him instead of surprising him. Whether it's because of my swearing or the grand announcement that he had children, I couldn't tell. "We had twins, Sherlock. A boy and a girl. I found out I was a month pregnant directly after you jumped."

He shook his head. "Mycroft never said anything."

I laughed. "Why would he? Considering that the very eve I gave birth to your children, he proposed to me!"

Sherlock's head shot up and he frowned. "Mycroft did what?"

"Your brother, asked me, to marry him." I said, spelling it out slowly for him. "Your death was a good enough excuse to get close to me."

"And did he?" Sherlock asked.

I shook my head. "No, because I was in love with you at the time. After that, I met Charles."

"And you fell head over heels in love with him?" Sherlock said sarcastically. "How romantic."

"No. I didn't."

Charles spoke up. "I was the specialist who examined Tammy afterwards, making sure that she and the babies were all right."

"What are their names Tammy?" Sherlock asked, again, still ignoring Charles.

"Linda May and Sherlock Hamish."

Sherlock made a face. "You named my son after John?"

"Sherlock!" I screamed. "He's my son! He's not yours!" Sherlock stared at me, as if he finally realized how deep he'd hurt me. "You haven't been here for them! You haven't been here for me! Don't put a label on something that clearly doesn't belong to you!"

Charles took hold of my arm. "Come on. Let's go."

"So my plan worked then?" the ludicrous statement of his stopped me in my tracks. I spun around to eye Sherlock. "I got you pregnant Tammy. I was never really gone. You had two reminders of me beside you the entire time."

I couldn't listen to another word from him anymore. I couldn't. I took off running down the hall as if demons were chasing me. Charles and I immediately got a cab, and thankfully, Sherlock did not follow after me. My hands shook, I was still crying silently, and I didn't know what to do.

I woke up of my stunned world, when Charles took the ring box from my clenched fist. "I guess I better see if they'll accept a refund." I could only stare at him. He smiles sadly. "I'm sure this happens all the time for them."

"Charles."

"Not a word Tammy." He says quietly. "I saw you. I know."

"You know what?"

"That you're still in love with him." Charles shook his head. "I couldn't compete with a corpse or ghost, how can I compete with him now?"

"We're not married Charles. And I don't know if I can trust him with me or my children. I definitely don't know if I can't trust my heart again. For months, I cried over his death. I defended him publicly and won a lawsuit in his defense! I got shot for his sake!"

"I still would like to know, why he did it." Charles said. "He said he did it for you, but he never said why."

I sat still as daylight broke over me. I didn't know why Sherlock had done it. Out of my own mouth I'd confessed that he didn't care about himself, he'd do things to take care of people. Now, I was curious and I needed to know what was going on in his mind at the time. "Taxi, stop please." I avoided Charles's gaze for a moment. He knew what was going on in his mind. "Charles, please, keep an eye on the children." I got out of the taxi. "I'll be back in an hour."

"Where are you going?"

"Scene of the crime." I said. "I'm going to find out why."

"And how?"

"He'll never tell me all of his methods. He'll probably tell me someday, if we're still talking to each other." I slammed the cab door. "Keep an eye on the children for me. I don't trust my dearest possessions to just anyone."

"Thank you Tammy." He said. "But, they're not my possessions. They're his."

"Charles."

"I know what was wrong with us Tammy. I thought…for a time I could honestly make you love me."

"I do care for you Charles. I do, I tried to love you, I swear it."

"And I'm surprised your heart didn't break in the attempt. You did try. But when he came in the door….I saw your face light up and the way you clung to him, I just wasn't enough for you. I never was."

"Then why did you hold up that pretense the whole time in front of him?"

"Maybe, he'll treat you better knowing that he almost lost you to someone else." He smiled faintly. "Good luck."

I leaned through the open window and kissed Charles on the mouth. "Thank you Charles. You're one of a million. And believe me; it's better to be one of a million than one in a million. If you're one in a million, you're nothing special. If you're one of a million, you stand out."

Charles didn't say anything and I stood there, watching the taxi pulled away. I turned and walked briskly towards Baker Street. Tonight, I needed answers. Why? Why had he done that?