Chapter 2
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SnuffSnuff: If you don't like it fine. I know it sucks, but I'm bored as hell. And at least you're honest. Have a cookie. =3 *gives cookie*
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icanhazlolcatsplz: Yay! Another good reader! You also get cookie! *gives virtual cookie*
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Elizabeth sighed as she walked around the forest. She was honestly, truly bored and hungry. However, she could not seem to find any food.
"Big Mac, Big Mac, Big Mac…." She muttered continually under her breath.
Ashley was right behind her, admiring the scenery…if you want to call it that. "Oo, look! A leaf!"
"Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, he's our favorite kind of guy!" A voice sang from the bushes.
"OMG!!! He like Willy Wonka too!" Elizabeth exclaimed, running through the bush.
Sighing, Ashley followed her. Once on the other side of the bush, they were face to face with a gray cat that had blurry eyes.
"Willy Wonka, Willy wonka!" Elizabeth joined in.
The gray cat seemed to notice he wasn't alone and immediately began to bristle. "Who are you?"
"I'm Lizardbreath and this is Ass Hole-ly!!!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Hey! Did you just call me an ass hole?!" Ashley demanded, raising a dark brown paw.
"I think I did!" Elizabeth retorted, flattening her yellow ears.
"…"
"Hey!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "You're brown and I'm yellow! It's like poop and pee! LMAO!!!"
"Jayfeather, where are you?" A voice called as a tabby she-cat padded towards them.
"OHMYGAWD!!!!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "We're in Warriors!!!"
"How would you know?" Ashley growled, for the sake of arguing.
"Jatfeather is the medicine cat of Thunderclan!!!! Well….apprentice." Elizabeth then turned to the tabby. "And you must be Leafpool! I'm honored to meet Jayfeather's mother!"
"Yay! Honor!" Leafpool bounced up and down.
"You're my mother?" Jayfeather shrieked.
"Of course, silly goose!" Leafpool purred in a strange voice.
Ashley nodded. "And Crowfeather is your father! That's why Leafpool and Nightcloud don't get along because Crowfeather fathers both of their kits!"
"WOW…" Jayfeather looked nauseous.
Leafpool looked at him. "Now, where are those laxatives for Millie?"
"Right here." Jayfeather held his paw out and handed her laxatives.
"Candy!" Elizabeth squealed and ate them.
The others sweat-dropped. A few minutes later a farting noise escaped from Elizabeth's behind.
----THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REMOVED FOR THOSE OF YOU READERS WHO---
---ARE FAINT OF HEART, PREGNANT, OR ARE PRONE TO INTERNAL---
---BLEEDING---
"Come to camp with us!" Jayfeather squealed.
"Okay!" And so Ashley and Elizabeth, along with Jayfeather and Leafpool, skipped to the camp…or skipped as best they could as cats.
---At The Camp---
"Firestar!" Leafpool called.
"That's Firestar-izzle!" A ginger cat, probably Firestar…izzle, corrected.
"Daddy!" Leafpool whined. "You're embarrassing me in front of my friends!"
"Hey!" Jayfeather snapped. "They're my friends! My friends can't be your friends!"
"Whatever."
"And who is this? Poopfur and Peepelt?" Firestar…izzle meowed.
"Hey!" Elizabeth growled. "It's Lizardbreath!"
"And Ass Hole-Ly!" Ashley added.
"They shall join Thunder-izzleclan!" Firestar-izzle yowled.
"For that last time!" A dark tabby, Brambleclaw, yowled. "It's Massdestructionclan!"
"Thunder-izzleclan!" Firestar-izzle replied angrily.
"Massdestructionclan!"
"We'll compromise!" Sandstorm snapped, coming up. "It's Massdestruction-izzleclan!"
"Okay!" Firestar-izzle replied, looking like he was leaking rainbows. Jumping onto the High-Ledge, he called the familiar-ish summons. "Let all those cats of Massdestruction-izzleclan who are old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the High-Ledge for a Clan meeting!"
The cats slowly appeared from their dens. First was Cloudtail, who was carrying a kittypet food bowl in his mouth. Brightheart followed, meowing "Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" Next came Jayfeather, who was still singing "Willy Wonka", and Leafpool who was apologizing to Millie about not getting her laxatives. Graystripe overheard the apology and somehow fell even more in love with Millie. Daisy stepped into the clearing wearing a tube top and mini skirt, while shooting flirty glances at Spiderleg who ignored her.
Moving on to the meeting: "We have two new cats who are becoming cats of Thunderclan!" Firestar-izzle yowled. "They are becoming apprentices and shall be known as Peepaw and Pooppaw!"
"Awesome!" Ashley, Pooppaw, and Elizabeth, Peepaw, shouted in unison.
"Lionblaze shall mentor Pooppaw and Hollyleaf shall mentor Peepaw!"
"Like oh my Starclan!" Hollyleaf shouted. "I like refuse to like mentor like her!"
'Want some fries?" Lionblaze asked, holding out McDonalds French fries to Pooppaw. "Psych!"
"Meanie!" Pooppaw wailed.
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Okay, that was kinda weird, but I like it! Yay!!!! Review please! Reviewers get cookie!!!! Even flamers!!!! Flames are reviews too!!!