I know 'Stars of Andromeda' has been worried about Vince's hair, so I've included it today. lol

D/C: I own the Mighty Boosh and - oh wait, no i don't :(. It belongs comic genius' Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett and I couldn't think of two nicer and funnier people to own it.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Naboo as Vince flopped dramatically onto the sofa.

"Howard."

"Oh, what's happened now?" groaned Naboo.

"I don't know. He's acting all weird."

"It's Howard, he always acts weird."

Vince smiled. "Okay, extra weird."

"In what way?"

"He keeps avoiding me and he acts all jumpy when I'm around. Is he ill Naboo?"

"No, what on earth made you think that?"

"Dunno" Vince shrugged "I can't think of anything else that might be wrong. Are you sure he's not ill?"

Naboo smiled "I'm sure. You really care about him don't you."

Vince nodded silently.

"You still having those dreams?"

Vince nodded again. "Every night now and they're more real than ever. It's like I can feel it happening. Or happened. Or something. I can't explain it. But it's the same every night. We do the same thing. It's like a memory more than a dream."

"hmmm" said Naboo noting something down in a pad of paper he'd been keeping of Vince's progress.

"And when did they begin?"

"Well, I've always dreamt about me and Howard" Vince smiled coyly "But you know the reoccurring dream started a couple of months ago."

"And, how do you feel about Howard?"

"I love him." Vince admitted quietly "well, at least I think I do, I mean I've never really been in love. Or maybe I've always been in love, with Howard."

"So, why don't you tell him that?"

"I can't do that" Vince gasped in horror "He's not gay."

"Well…"

"Well, what?" asked Vince frowning.

"Wait there." said Naboo walking to a nearby cupboard. "Damn!" he slammed the door shut "Out of candles."

"candles?" asked Vince

"Nothing." smiled Naboo "Listen, if you really love Howard then just tell him."

"No!" Vince almost shouted "I'm not going to tell him, I couldn't bear it if he didn't say it back."

"No, I know" muttered Naboo remembering Vince's depression all too well.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why's everyone speaking in riddles? No one's given me a proper answer for months!" Vince ranted "I still don't know what happend to my hair!"

"Yeah but you've moaned about it incessantly everyday. And how many times have you accused Bollo now?"

"A few." blushed Vince. "I found a pair of sissors in his monkey bedroom. Anyway, if it wasn't him who was it?"

"Ian." said Naboo, plucking a name from nowhere.

"Ian, who?"

"I don't remember. I think he was on holiday from... Australia."

"Ian from Australia? Why'd he cut my hair?"

"He's got a phobia of long black hair." Naboo said exasperated by Vince's questions.

"But, why's he..."

"Look Vince, 'if we've learnt anything it's don't trust Ian'."

"Well, it's the last time I'm going to trust anyone called Ian, ever."

"Okay," sighed Naboo

"Well, I'm going to lie down, I'm feeling a little tired."

--

Naboo waited patiently for Vince to leave the room and then he smiled knowingly.

"You can come out from behind that plant now, Howard."

Howard appeared sheepishly.

"Normally," Naboo continued with the air of an angry school teacher "I'd be telling you not to eaves drop, but I suppose in the circumstance it wasn't such a bad thing. How much did you hear?"

"I heard him say he loves me."

"Good, then knock on the door and tell him you love him too."

"No, you said that we weren't allowed a relationship."

"Yeah I know but circumstances have changed."

"How?"

"Never you mind. Just go and tell him how you feel."

"No."

"Why not?" asked Naboo, completely exasperated. "You two are ridiculous. I feel like I'm back on the school yard and two of my friends fancy each other and I'm running between them."

"Sorry, but you said if i tell him he may get depressed again."

"Did you hear him say about his dream?"

"No."

"He keeps dreaming of your night together. The meal, the candle, the sleeping and the not sleeping, if you catch my drift. It must have made a huge impression on him. Most people don't remember a thing when they drink that stuff."

"Well what can I say I must be a natural in the bedroom."

"No Howard. It means that he already remembers your night together so if you and him get together he wont relapse."

"Really?" Howard asked getting excited as Naboo gave him permission to pursue his most beloved goal.

"Howard, He loves you - more than even he realises. I've never know love so strong."

"I love him too."

"Tell him that. I already know. You know, if you two just talked this would all be a lot easier."

"I know, hey, havn't you got anymore of those candles?"

"No, I just checked. I can offer you a 'mood reflecting football'."

"A football?! Can you see either of us wanting to play football?"

"Well, what about a 'love coin'?"

"What's that?"

"You hold it and it shows you the name of the person you love."

"But I already know who I love."

"Fine, what about a 'hush love heart'?"

"Oooooo, what's one of them?"

"It's a love heart sweet and when you eat it you can't talk for a week."

"Right. And what good is that going to do?"

"Nothing, it'll just stop me having to listen to you both complaining. Oh, and you better tell him you love him this time small eyes 'cause I'm not going through all that again."

"No, well. Fair enough. And I do love him, I know that now."

"You knew that then!" scorned Naboo angrily "and if you'd just said it all of this may have been avoided."

"I know. There's not a day goes by I don't think about that. Please try and do something Naboo."

"Okay, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."