Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man

Chapter 2

Lavi had made a mistake. Well, he had made many, many mistakes over the course of his life due to various circumstances that should never be mentioned in mixed company, but this one, though not the worst, was definitely the strangest. When he had pranked Allen by turning all of his clothing into frilly, girly things, he had expected him to freak out, not wear them! The problem was, he had been extra thorough in his prank. Every piece of clothing had been made into a dress, covered in lace and flowers, or fed to Timcanpy. The only things he hadn't touched were the undergarments, which Lavi was very grateful for now. Why? Because for two weeks running, Allen had been wearing the girl clothes, and having a blast doing so.

Lavi resisted the urge to slam his head against the wall as Allen walked into the library in yet another feminine outfit. He was dressed rather casually in a flowered blue blouse and matching white skirt that just barely skimmed the tops of his lace stocking-clad calves. The sight of it made Lavi want to die.

Determined to right the sin he had committed against manhood, he got up and started walking towards the kid, but was quickly intercepted by Lenalee and her Glare of Death. Oh yeah, he'd forgotten for a moment how most of the women, plus a good chunk of the stranger men, had all been encouraging Allen to try out his 'freedom of expression' as they put it, and they were keeping any 'negative influences' like Lavi away from him. He backed away slowly, hands raised up high in the international 'please don't murder me' gesture. She kept her gaze on him for another minute, before nodding her acceptance of his defeat. Lenalee then turned to Allen, the sweet innocent boy completely oblivious to the near homicide that occurred mere feet away from him, and began pleasantly chattering away. Lavi paled a bit when she handed the poor boy a necklace, which she then helped him put on. Allen seemed perfectly okay with it, like there was absolutely nothing with a male wearing a pink, heart-shaped locket. Of course, he also saw nothing wrong with wearing skirts, frills, hose, and everything unmanly! Lavi shivered a bit at what must have happened to the kid to make him so screwed up.

An irritated "tsk" came from behind him. He spun around and came face-to-face with Kanda. Lavi had no clue why the swordsman was in the library. Frankly, he wasn't even sure Kanda could read. However, from the grumpy look plastered across the man's face, Lavi doubted that asking would leave him intact.

Kanda tsked again and stated, "We have to stop this madness." Lavi followed the man's glare to Allen and Lenalee, who were chatting about. . . something or other, though odds were that it was something feminine, which was not good for the poor guy's still-developing manliness. Lavi looked at Kanda and gave him a single nod. A smirk spread across both their lips. It was indeed time to put a end to this madness.

.•*•.•*•.

Throughout the years, Lavi had claimed to be many things, ranging from being exceptionally brilliant (which he was), to being exceptionally great with the ladies (which no one so far had disproved). However, he had never claimed to be immune to idiocy. Which was why he was currently dangling from a rope outside of Allen's bedroom window with a large sack of clothes on his back while Kanda practically breathed down his neck, and he only had himself to blame. He had been the one to suggest the stunningly moronic idea of sneaking into Allen's room in the middle of the night to swap out his clothes with manly things, like leather jackets, combat boots, and ties with flames on them. Given, Lavi wasn't entirely to blame, since Kanda had agreed with him and done most of the more detailed sewing on the clothes, but it was still mostly his fault.

"Get a move on, idiot," Kanda growled, "My arms are cramping."

"Okay, okay, Mr. Grumpypants," Lavi muttered, earning him a smack on the head with Mugen. He lowered himself down to the window and glanced inside. He did a double take. If he wasn't clinging on to the rope for dear life he would have pinched himself, because there was no way that this wasn't a nightmare. Only in his darkest dreams could such a scenario as the one playing out before his eyes come into fruition. Lenalee was at the window, Allen's window, smirking evilly at him and waving a pair of shears in his face. He whimpered.

"L-L-Lenalee, f-fancy meeting you here!" Lavi stuttered.

Above him, Kanda tsked quietly and began shimmying back up the rope.

"Coward!" Lavi screamed at the rapidly fleeing figure, before turning back to Lenalee with a pleasant smile on his face. "So," he said nonchalantly, "How's it hanging?"

Lenalee's smirk intensified and she leaned out the window, giving Lavi a pretty fantastic look down her shirt. However, as the saying goes, it was too good to be true. He heard an ominous snipping noise, then suddenly he was in free fall, his hands still clutching the detached rope.

For a few seconds he stared dumbly at the rope as he fell, but then he put himself to much more important tasks, such as screaming, flailing, and crying. Of course, he then realized that he had a weapon capable of extending long enough to save his sorry ass, which he proceeded to use. He lowered himself to the ground, cheeks wet with what was clearly sweat and not tears from a mid-air crying jag. As he gazed upwards, he saw Lenalee give a teasing little wave before slamming the window shut. A single pair of pants, torn loose from the sack by the fall, fluttered down onto Lavi's head. And that was when the junior Bookman collapsed, the strain of the night hitting him so hard that he simply curled up on the clothing bag and fell asleep, dreams of further schemes dancing through his head.

.•*•.•*•.

Meanwhile, Kanda dragged himself onto the roof, every muscle in his upper body screeching in agony. He flopped on the blessedly solid surface and let out an enormous sigh. He was really, really lucky that Lavi had gone down first. Falling several stories to the unforgiving ground below was definitely not a sensation he wanted to feel again. The redheaded idiot was probably dead though, which was a shame. He wanted to have been able to kill the stinking rabbit for roping him into the screeching train wreck of reason that was the supposed genius's plan

Kanda was interrupted from his homicidal thoughts by footsteps. He didn't bother opening his eyes, since it was probably just some Science Division flunkie taking advantange of the clear night to do some astronomy. He couldn't have been more wrong. He felt a dart stab him in the neck, followed by the sick woozy sensation of sedatives. He was out in seconds, only able to register the shrill chuckle of Allen before succumbing to unconsciousness.