Again I'd like to mention that I don't own Twilight, good old Stephanie Meyer does and bless her cotton socks off for it I say.
BPOV:
"Hold her down Edward" I said rolling my eyes impatiently
"im trying but she keeps seeing which direction I grab her from and dodging me" he complained
"ALICE are we going to do this the easy way or the hardway?" I asked tapping my toe impatiently and nearly biting my lip off in an effort to keep calm. As if in an answer to my question Edward came into the room escorting a somewhat sheepish looking Alice. Taking a deep and somewhat useless breath to calm myself I started
"Alice why on Gods earth did you take Nessie shopping for lingerie are you insane she is TWO not twenty!!!!"
"SHE DID WHAT??!!" Edward practically screeched his eyes narrowing so much that they seemed to be slits in his head
"Edward calm down I am dealing with this" I said feeling slightly hypocritical for asking him to be calm after I had just spent an hour thinking of ways to kill Alice slowly and painfully.
"well in all fairness she looks older than she is and she asked me to and she looked at me and I melted and Rose bought her a corset last week and so that's why she's been singing old hymns backwards in Hebrew so you wouldn't know so if you kill me you've got to kill Rose to" Alice blurted out so fast that even Edward and I had to take a second to process what she had said.
"ROSALIE HALE!!!" we both screamed in perfect unison I looked at Edward
"I'll take Rose you take Alice" we shook hands solemnly
"Agreed"…