And for this chapter we have... Eretstrid! (which is one of those ship names that doesn't really shorten their names at all.)

-HTTYD-

Eret didn't like to think of himself as easily confused. He considered himself pretty level-headed... he had had to be, working for Drago Bludvist.

Now on Berk, his life was pretty simple. Work. Ride a dragon. Eat. Try not to upset anybody. It wasn't a bad existence, and nobody had tried to kill him since the big battle. Unless he counted Ruffnut Thorston, and her frankly terrifying attempts to seduce him. His problem with her wasn't strictly related to her mild insanity or strange smell...

It was that his eyes wandered elsewhere, places they shouldn't.

He was certain almost every other Viking inclined toward women had checked out Astrid Hofferson-Haddock. With her shapely, muscular limbs, witty repartee and those blue eyes beneath tempting blonde locks, Astrid certainly lived up to the meaning behind her name - divine beauty. So... while he knew that would never go anywhere, he didn't think it too weird to look.

The other place his eyes wandered was a different barrel of fish entirely. Their chief, Hiccup Haddock the dragon master... he was lean and a little gangly, with narrow limbs of wiry muscle and shaggy auburn hair that blew across his stubble-covered face in the constant breeze around Berk. He had a metal leg and made his own flight suit, and his mother had single-handedly almost brought down the dragon-trapping enterprise at one time. But he digressed.

Hiccup was gorgeous. No denying it. Maybe not a conventional buff, macho Viking but then, after Drago, maybe Eret was seeking someone who he could daydream about taking care of him.

Though, he mused, after Drago, Eret wasn't even sure he could ever actually share a bed with a man again. Drago didn't fuck, he brutalized and got his kicks out of drawing blood or tears. Consent wasn't really a concern of his - anybody who worked for him belonged to him. They were just things.

Then again, Eret countered to himself as he hammered a nail in and finished the roof he was on, Hiccup was a heterosexual, married man. He was thinking about obstacles that didn't matter, because it was nothing but a dream. A dream that kept him company some nights, in his hut empty save for Skullcrusher, who was at least capable of snoring loudly enough that Eret didn't feel totally alone.

Back to his confusion...

Over the last month or so... he felt like Astrid was finding... excuses almost. Excuses to be around Eret. She was often in the Academy when he was helping Fishlegs educate the Berk children on dragons. Made an effort to sit with him at mealtimes if Hiccup wasn't around, invited him to their table if the chief was there. She invited him out on training their dragons.

Eret wasn't daft enough to complain about Mrs. Chief befriending him, but it still did a number on confusing him. Jumping down from the freshly repaired roof, he checked it off his list and saw he was free for the afternoon - he could go hang out in the stables, see if he could help down there.

"Eret!"

Her voice was becoming remarkably familiar, Eret realised. Not that it was bad... Astrid had a lovely voice. Lilting, sweet and resonating somewhere deep in his belly.

"Yes Astrid?"

"You busy?"

Having been just assuring himself he was free to go spend more time with dragons - wasn't that a turn for the history books - Eret half-wished he had a different answer.

"Not right now. It's uh, almost lunchtime though and Skullcrusher has earned a break."

The Rumblehorn (what an awesome dragon he had inherited) roared in agreement, carefully placing the wood he had been holding up at roof level down and padding over to nuzzle at Eret. Dragons really were remarkable, he had to admit. Who would have thought a fire breathing reptile with scales hard enough to smash rocks and cliffs and boats to pieces could be gentle, affectionate to a human? Plus, Skullcrusher accepted Eret as his new rider, an honour he had not yet fully accepted as he knew he didn't really deserve it.

"Great idea. Stormfly?"

The Deadly Nadder swooped down next to her rider, squawking and ruffling her scales in greeting

"Take Skullcrusher for lunch would you?"

Eret watched as his dragon headed off, leaving the new rider confused.

"Uh, ok. Am I banned from flying?"

"No, Skullcrusher just needs to spend time with dragons, he's been nervous to leave your side for a while cus you were bonding. So he's over there, and you are coming with me for lunch."

Not bothering to argue, Eret turned for the staircase that led up to the Great Hall. Astrid didn't, instead leading him to her hut. The hut she shared with her husband. The chief of Berk.

"How come we're not going to the Hall?"

"Problem?"

"Uh, no, not at all. Just curious. I'll shut up now."

Astrid actually laughed, letting him into the hut and pointing an exceptionally awkward Eret into one of the seats at the dining table. He already knew from listening to them talk at other mealtimes that Hiccup did much of their home cooking, and today was no exception as Astrid informed him the rich stew and bread placed down was made by Hiccup the precious day.

"Is Hiccup not joining us?"

"Nope, he's spending the day with his mom."

Eret nodded, taking a mouthful of stew and finding out he was utterly ravenous as soon as the hearty flavour filled his mouth. The bread was just the right amount of light and fluffy while still being substantial enough to help fill him up, and Eret was hard pushed not to lick the bowl clean when he was done.

"Good?"

"Why do you ever come to the Great Hall if he can cook like that? I mean-"

Astrid lifted a hand, silencing him.

"Several reasons. One being that Hiccup's chief and isn't always home to cook. Sometimes a girl needs a big hunk of yak leg or mutton and that tastes the same anywhere. It's social as much as anything - the Hall is the only communal building Cloudjumper fits in. And you know... you might not appreciate it as much if you ate it every day."

Feeling a little cowed, Eret dropped his eyes and nodded. Astrid hummed to herself as she cleaned up from lunch, and Eret continued to sit awkwardly at the table, unsure what to do with himself.

"Come sit here?"

He did so mechanically, smelling hints of wildflower and earth and nature as he perched next to the fire, Astrid sitting a little closer than usual and Eret felt his heart speed up in his chest. He brought his knees up, resting elbows on them and felt the keen gaze of ice-blue eyes on the side of his suddenly far too warm neck.

"I wanted to say... I'm really proud of you."

"Of- of me? Why? I'm just the idiot who was almost too late in realising dragons were good."

"Eret, that was the whole of Berk at one time. Before we made peace, I actually almost killed Stormfly in the old Dragon Training."

Blinking in surprise, Eret turned to look at her. Astrid's eyes were downcast now.

"I didn't know that."

"It's not fond memories for most of us. Hel, Stoick actually disowned Hiccup for befriending Toothless once. The point is that you came around. You put your life on the line for Berk. And you've really proven yourself here."

If Eret wasn't mistaken, Astrid had shifted a little closer to him. His mouth felt drier than dragon hide, his voice coming out a touch hoarse.

"Thank you."

Yep. She was definitely getting closer. Any closer and she would be in his lap... Eret dreamed of that for a hot second before forcing himself back to reality - she was the chief's wife. Not cool.

"I've really enjoyed all this time we spend together recently."

"Uh, m-me too."

Ok, Eret needed to move because he could count every freckle on Astrid's cheeks, and he was using every bit of self control he had not to kiss her. As it was, he could barely keep his eyes off those plump, rosy lips that curved upward in a rather Loki-ish grin. As he went to stand, planning to use the bathroom as an excuse, anything to get him away before he cracked... Astrid grabbed his wrist, firm grip holding him in place as those dream-worthy lips pressed to his own.

Eret indulged himself for a second, tasting the sweetness of her kiss before pulling back with flushed cheeks and a heavy guilt.

"I uh- that's not right. Hiccup-"

"Actively encouraged me. He's ok with it."

"Right. He's just totally cool with his wife kissing other guys."

Astrid narrowed her eyes slightly, standing up and almost completely cornering him.

"No, he's not. But he's totally cool with me kissing you."

Left with no space to retreat, Eret was trapped between a wall and a woman.

"I can't do that to him, i-it wouldn't be right."

At the worst possible time, the door of the hut opened, permitting a windswept Hiccup that almost seemed to glow with the sun at his back, Toothless just outside the door. When he caught sight of them, he bade his dragon wait a moment before closing the door and Eret was certain he was about to be trialled and exiled or maybe even just killed.

"Come on Astrid, anybody could have walked in."

"I didn't think I could convince him to our bedroom, it was hard enough to get him here. What are you doing back anyway?"

"Me and mom are going mapping, I forgot my map."

Eret felt like he was missing some crucial information - did Astrid just allude to taking Eret to their bedroom without so much as a blink from Hiccup?

"What's going on? It's... it's not Loki day is it?"

"No. Astrid and I talked, and, well... I'm fine with it. If you want to follow milady upstairs, I am not going to stop you. Just... keep it to yourself. Love you."

Hiccup picked up his map, kissing his wife and Eret had a momentary ache to be between them that skittered away as soon as Hiccup winked at him, then left through the door before closing it behind him, leaving a really rather terrified Eret alone with a forward Astrid.

"Have I been breathing in Zippleback gas again?"

"Nope."

"Flying in the thin air?"

"Don't think so."

"Eaten dragon nip?"

Astrid rolled her eyes, grabbed the front of his vest and hauled him forwards, kissing him again. This time, though still convinced he was dreaming, Eret went along with it - if he was going to wake up, he wanted to make the most of the dream. Astrid smiled into it when Eret responded, hands sliding down to grab his hips and pull him closer.

Then she cruelly pulled back, leaving Eret dizzy and breathless.

"You coming?"

"Huh?"

His brain didn't quite work yet.

"Upstairs. The chief's bedroom is out of bounds. His living room is not."

Astrid held out a hand, the invitation clear and Eret found himself taking it, being led up the stairs by the Valkyrie girl. He stumbled on a couple of the steps, expecting any minute that someone would burst through the door and it would all be an elaborate prank. That thought faded more and more as Astrid shoved him bodily across the bed, all coy smiles and hot kisses as she climbed up on top of him.

His ah, interest was clear, and Astrid seemed quite happy about that fact, pressing against his erection and smoothing a hand over his scarred, branded chest where it was exposed through his vest. The firey branding had been agony, and keeping it from getting infected when out at sea hunting dragons had been almost impossible. Only Ug's secret stash of healing herbs had probably kept Eret alive.

Trembling hands cupped Astrid's slender hips, which was about as much as Eret dared initiate while Astrid continued to kiss him senseless. When she went for the belt that held both his vest and trousers in place, Eret froze.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just- uh, I mean..."

Astrid cocked her head, surveying him with a penetrating gaze.

"Been a while?"

His cheeks coloured, an awkward nod the closest he could get to admitting it.

"That obvious huh?"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"No! I mean, I do, I just-"

Astrid placed a finger on his lips, silencing him.

"Just do what comes naturally, I promise it'll be ok."

Her mouth covered his again and Eret felt a little bolder, rolling them over and Astrid gasped against his lips when his erection pressed between her thighs even through their clothes. When she went for his belt again, Eret let her. The tie loosened, she pushed up the cloth of his work vest until their mouths had to separate to remove it.

He had a moment of reflection - his body type was considerably different to her husbands, Hiccup lean and wiry against Eret's broad and muscular, but there was only desire in her gaze when she looked at him. Given that Eret himself looked both ways, he guessed people could be into different things.

"Uh, may I?"

He gestured loosely at Astrid's own clothing, hoping his itching need to touch bare skin would be satisfied. She nodded, raising her arms agreeably when Eret dared push her top up to reveal milk-white skin littered with small scars and the odd freckle. He felt his cock twitch in his trousers when Astrid reached for the strings on her front, releasing her breast bindings so they were both bare on the top half of their bodies.

He couldn't help but let his eyes feast upon the enticing sight, his fingers tracing a line down from Astrid's collarbone until Eret could circle around her nipple, splaying a hand over her breast and hearing her let out the most tempting, arousing little moans.

"Yep, I must be dreaming- ow! What was that for?"

Eret rubbed his arm where Astrid had hit him playfully - it didn't really hurt, but he wanted to maintain that sweet, jovial mood.

"Showing you you're awake. So... on you go."

Her quiet but self-assured confidence only served to arouse Eret further, seeing no insecurity in her eyes when he looked at her.

"Wait. On your back" Eret hesitated, unsure where he had gone wrong "now!"

He obeyed instantly, rolling onto his back and feeling the warm pressure of Astrid vanish from his groin, dragging a pitiful whine from him involuntarily. Astrid gracefully slid over, cat-like and lithe as she reached for his waistband and pulled.

It had been a long time since he was this exposed and this aroused, wide and beautiful blue eyes zeroing in on his swollen cock. Astrid wasted little time in wrapping her hand around him, making Eret's hips jerk and spasm as bolts of pleasure hit him... yeah, it really had been too long. Embarrassingly, Eret found himself climbing toward climax already, body starting to quiver inside.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Easing the pressure. No offence, but you look like you'd come from a strong breeze right now and I can't have you going off too soon."

Well, she wasn't wrong. Fist clenching in the bed pelts, Eret closed his eyes and let the sensations wash over him, hoping Astrid didn't think it bad how quickly he was about to come. His eyes flew open again when wet and warm feelings added themselves to the party, finding Astrid's tongue swirling his tip like Eret needed any more stimuli before he exploded.

"Gonna- gods, can't hold on."

His voice came out all high and needy but Eret was too far gone to care. Astrid didn't shy away so much as drive him higher by sealing her mouth over his cock, taking him down with ease as he came, an exquisite heat burning through his body to leave him limp on the bed for a minute as he recovered slowly.

"Well, someone needed that."

"You have no idea."

Lips swollen as she wiped them, Astrid smirked as she stood up, stretching enticingly. Something about her exposed breasts contrasting with her lower half still clad in skirt, boots and leggings gave him tingles, and Eret found Astrid watching his cocks valiant efforts to wake up again.

"Don't worry, I can wait."

Astrid's mouth tasted of both her and now himself, but Eret powered through and found it wasn't actually that bad... it was hardly the first time he had tasted come. He had to awkwardly fumble as his trousers were caught around his knees and trapped by his boots, but when he was done he found Astrid removing her own footwear. Once her boots were off, she lay back down and the message was clear - Eret was to finish undressing her.

He set to it eagerly, feeling slightly self conscious about being the only naked one as his hands went for the fastening of her skirt.

"May I?"

"Such a gentleman. Go ahead."

Her hips lifted obligingly to let him pull away skirt and leggings, leaving her in only cloth underwear that he could see was dampened with arousal - had he really done that? - and a smile.

"Hang on a sec."

He panicked for only a heartbeat or two as Astrid reached for her hair braid, practiced hands undoing it and she combed it out with her fingers.

"Much better. I hate wearing braids to bed."

If Eret thought her divine before, now she had the golden cloud framing her face, her neck and shoulders... well he was just about done for. Swallowing a deep breath at this "no-going-back" moment, Eret reached for the top of her hips where her undergarments rested, still absolutely expecting to be rebuffed at any minute. Instead, her hands covered his, guiding them both to pull her cloth garment away and leaving them both naked.

"Odin..."

"Nope, just Astrid."

Eret chuckled, finding himself feeling a little lighter now he wasn't scared of some elaborate hoax - he didn't take Astrid as the type to get naked for just anybody. Running a hand up her inner thigh, he felt a pulse of heat in his gut when he found Astrid wet, notably aroused by him. Brushing fingers over her clit, Eret was gratified to see her spasm, responding to his touch.

Her thighs quivered in anticipation, parting willingly to allow Eret better access and he was already utterly smitten with those hot little whimpers that came from the back of her throat. Very aware of her responses, Eret slid his fingers down lower, two slipping inside her with little resistance and another jerk of her body.

"Don't stop Eret, gods I'm close."

Fair was fair - she had already brought him off once, and the erection throbbing between his hips wasn't important right now - watching Astrid fall apart on his hand was. Using his thumb to rub her clit, he moved his fingers in a steady rhythm inside her until Astrid's hands had to grab the cushion to muffle her cries and he felt her soak his hand, spasm and clench around his fingers.

Pulling them out, he couldn't resist finding out if she tasted as delicious as she looked, licking his fingers and tasting sweet and musk and sin. It was addictive, seductive and a dozen other words that escaped his rapidly declining brain function as a gasping, flushed Astrid beckoned him close, kissing him and aligning their hips just so.

"Wait, wait."

"I swear to Odin Eret, if you're about to drop on me because of Hiccup I will hurt you."

"No, no, no. While my brain still sort of works" Astrid rolled her hips, dragging wetness along his erection and Eret almost lost his mind "I need to ask if you need me to pull out."

Understanding dawned across her face, that maddening half-smirk crossing her lips again.

"No, you're fine. I appreciate the forethought."

A burst of clarity hit Eret as he reached down to position himself, looking down and being greeted by the welcome sight of Astrid's breasts as he did so - they were really about to do this. Astrid had been completely on the gold earlier, Eret would probably have come instantly as he felt his tip press inside the welcoming slick, heat encompassing him in a primal, instinctive manner as he kept going, only stopping when Astrid's hips met his own.

"Oh my Thor..."

"Nope, just Astrid. You doing alright there?"

"Mhmm. Just... better than I remembered."

"Well you've never had me before."

Astrid arched her back slightly, shifting her hips and Eret groaned, feeling one slender hand rest on his lower back, the other reaching up to tweak his nipple closest to the brand on his chest. He bit his lip, trying to regain some of his faculties so this could actually be stimulating for Astrid as well as him.

"It's ok. Remember, just go with the flow."

He nodded tightly, muscles in his upper body feeling locked in place as he made a few probably-terrible-and-awkward thrusts, but Astrid's eyes fluttered closed, pretty pink lips parting to release soft exhalations and Eret felt bolstered, took the welcome encouragement. Shifting his weight to one elbow, he bent his knees a little wider and gripped her hip, used the new leverage to add a little power behind each thrust as his body remembered the age-old dance.

Astrid kept up a steady stream of encouragement, soft gasps and whines and blunt fingernails scraping across the back of his hip hard ebough to break skin. Every thrust brought new sounds, her vocalisations escalating to moans of increasing volume and pitch and Eret barely remembered it was still day outside and their room had a freaking dragon-hole in the roof.

Pulling her hips upward until she was bent at the waist, Eret guided her legs to cross over his back and both of them moaned in concert at the new angle, hitting her a little deeper and feeling tighter, hotter, wetter around Eret's cock until he was racing back to the cliffs edge

"Thor, I'm not gonna last much longer."

"Uhh, touch me."

Eret complied happily, wrapping an arm around one creamy thigh to press his fingers to her firm little nub, the mix of frantic, half-feral thrusts they shared and his touch to her clit sending Astrid to the heights of Valhalla and Eret finally let himself join her, glad she had said he didn't need to be careful because he feared he might have forgotten.

He dropped heavily next to her, barely managing that rather than fall on top of her as he fought to come down from that hazy peak where rational thought didn't really occur. Astrid was half-smiling, clearly a post-coital 'lazer' as she stretched and sighed but made no move to get up.

"Not that that wasn't... well, amazing, but-"

"I confess, there's a sort of ulterior motive."

A dozen scenarios ran through his mind, each less likely than the last but all served to make Eret's head spin.

"Which was?"

"How do you feel about... guys?"

"Wait. Are you asking if I'm-"

"A switch hitter, yes."

Astrid didn't dance around it, she asked him straight. Or not, as the case may be.

"I uh, I haven't really thought about that in a while to be honest. But... yeah, I guess I'm open to it."

She rolled on to her stomach, legs kicking up and down behind her lazily as she looked at Eret.

"Well, that's good. Because otherwise this" she gestured between them "was a one time deal. Hiccup and I agreed that if we got involved with anybody else, it was a package deal."

"And this arrangement of yours settled on me? I uh-"

"Just... hear us out on it? This isn't a marriage contract, just... brain storming, as it were."

Still almost completely certain this was all a very pleasant dream he was about to wake up from, Eret contemplated his burgeoning attraction to Hiccup. For several minutes, he contemplated silently, but eventually, he nodded.

-HTTYD-

This was the only chapter with no butt stuff. It's almost... standalone. but not. Because it'll be posted second, so you will likely have read chapter 1 before this.

Next chapter contains full on boy loving, all slash. No ladies. Just a lot of cock. And butts. That's about as plain as I can make it.

If you wish to skip the full gay and some Eret development... hit chapter four for the threesome.