Disclaimer: I don't have any form of ownership over Naruto - a fact he thanks Kami for at every meal.

Thank you very much for the reviews...yes, I agree that Iruka's a bit OOC...so is Kakashi...and they might (okay, they WILL) get a little frisky, so the "M" rating is probably going to be justified. I'm just giving their characters a little 'free play' time, and it isn't a long story. We can go back to abusing them properly in other fics.

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Oh Kami finally…finally…

"Ungh…Kakashi…" Iruka whispered harshly. "I'm actually getting…er…ungh!"

"You better be," Kakashi hissed back, grinding Iruka against the edge of the bath for all he was worth. "These are ninja women that are spying on us, Iruka. They'll be able to tell if we're faking." His hand snaked down and began fisting the thickening chunin, who blushed as if to die in the steamy air. Then he swooped in with unmasked open mouth and enthusiastic tongue for some face time. The fence between the women's bath and the one they occupied creaked tellingly, and a muffled oooooh! followed by the sound of ten or so hands slapping over one mouth resounded in the damp air.

"S-stop. Don't !" Iruka gasped quietly and wiggled away each time something unfamiliar nudged his relatively unsullied back door.

"Shhh calm down." Kakashi licked the adorable red ear. He'd finally found his magic words. Oh, they weren't the ones he'd imagined. Not "oh Kami you're so fuckable." Not "Gods Iruka you're everything I ever wanted." Not even, over time, if things went well, "Oh Iruka I love you so much…"

No. The magic words he breathed that made his scarred obsession turn to goo were…

"Twin con-tor-tion-ists…" Just two words and the man was his to touch. To hold. To kiss, fondle, stroke, explore with fingers and tongue. In public, no less! His taste was so addicting.

"Iruka, we need to leave evidence in the water," jounin breath, hotter than the bathhouse steam, purred in his throbbing ear.

Brown eyes were crossing, his knees jerking up in reflex then shooting back down to close off the expressway to Kakashi's current destination.

"We don't have to do that to leave evidence in the water!" Iruka growled under his breath, doing another evasive rump-twist.

I'm being greedy, Kakashi agreed mentally. It was wonderful enough without penetration. This time.

"Sorry, I just hope they don't notice…"

Kakashi was fisting them together and the poor, seldom-frisked sensei was nearing his limit.

Had he more of his wits about him, he might have wondered why Kakashi was so good at this. Why he seemed to know his way around another fellow's body in this way. Why he had no shyness about where, how, or what he put his hands and mouth on in such an invasive and stimulating manner.

For a moment Kakashi feared that Iruka might have a stoke. He was trying so hard to be quiet. Kakashi urged him to let go, make noise, and, er, play the part. It was rather fascinating.

The man tried to make no noise at all, resulting in all consonants battling harshly against his tightly closed mouth and controlled nostrils. Grrrrm mmmmm nnnn ngggg ggggrrrrr rnnn nnnggg!

When forced to open his mouth, he tried to subdue the sounds by letting all his breath out. The result was a fixation on the first letter of the alphabet. "Aaaaaaahaaa aaa aaaaaaaaaah!"

Really, it was a good thing he was speechless.

And with a last growl of consonants giving way to the long wailing vowel sound, the chunin 'faked' a hefty load into the water simultaneously in simulated orgasm with Kakashi's own peaking at their erotic performance.

Reluctantly removing his hands from their stations, one embedded in tan muscular buttcheek and the other clutching their softening members, the copy-nin took Iruka's red face in his hands and kissed him with a tongue that mapped his tonsils as if to say, 'save my place!' He then returned his mask to its upright and locked position for landing.

"I hope that was good enough. We might not have gone far enough to fool them." Kakashi smiled and watched a swirl of spermy fluid drift down out of sight. Iruka looked positively stunned and spent.

"I don't think I can stand up," he moaned, dropping his head back on the tile.

"Nice touch - good acting," Kakashi tongued in his ear.

"Who's acting?" Iruka exhaled noisily.

"Slide all the way out and I'll suck…"

"No!" Iruka covered up like a naked goalkeeper. "I'll die!"

Suddenly the chunin found the strength to leap up, throw on his robe and flee. "Gotta go 'Kashi!" The wet ponytail disappeared through the bath gates.

Kakashi casually rose and sauntered to the fence, soon hearing the melody of many wet feet slapping a hasty retreat on the other side. He hopped up to peer over the top as the last of many splashes resounded. They'd seen him coming, of course.

The result of the many nosebleeds made the women's bath appear as if a recent shark attack and piranha feeding had just occurred.

"See anything interesting?" Kakashi smiled. None of the women complained about this 'peeping' over the fence. They all looked very guilty. And really, they all looked as if they liked 'Bathhouse Kakashi' very much at the moment.

"Ahhh, I knew you wouldn't be convinced. Iruka-sensei talked me into that little act because he wants us to be escorts for the Icha Girls when they come to town, and he thinks we'll get to if everyone thinks we're gay. "

"Of course!" one of the female chunin cried. "That explains it!" another said brightly. Chattering resumed immediately.

Kakashi shrugged and dropped back down off the fence.

What a shame, their act didn't fool anybody. Kakashi wore a happy smile under the damp mask. Guess now we'll just have to do some more convincing convincing.

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