What if Itachi suffered "Hinata-syndrome"? AKA, Sasuke is better than Itachi, a 4-time failure of the chunin-exams looking for a new team.
The Uchiha Failure: Itachi
Itachi, the "Failure of the Uchihas", sighed at the recent turn of events. His team had been killed at the recent Chunin exams in grass country while he had been going to the bathroom of all things. Now he was on watch duty with the village police force, mostly his clan who wished he didn't exist.
"Hey retard, get us something to drink," his third cousin commanded, activating his sharingan to rub it in. Even at 18 years-old Itachi's sharingan hadn't activated, despite nearly dying with his teams several times. So Itachi bowed out of the way and went into a general store for some drinks, 'At least the villagers are nice.'
"Hello Naruto, doing some shopping?" Itachi was the youngest person to know about the Kyuubi sealing from first hand account. His father apparently thought as future head, it would be a good idea to sneak his son out to witness the Sandaime's speech…and law enactment. There had to be a few others, but Itachi didn't know.
"YEAH! I'm taking the genin exams tomorrow and I wanted some more instant ramen," Naruto smiled, "I know I'm gonna graduate this time!"
Itachi knew that phrase all too well, failing the basic exam four times and graduating when he was 13. He just didn't perform well in tests…or in action, his teammates were always dying like cannon fodder, his own purpose as his father dictated after his many failures. Even his little brother had graduated before him at the age of 7.
'Sasuke…' Itachi thought while exiting the store with his purchases, 'The Uchiha Prodigy, activating his sharingan when he was 6, graduating at 7, becoming chunin at 9. Promoted to jounin at 12 and joining ANBU recently. Now, officially the next head of the clan.'
His comrades didn't thank him for the drinks as they continued on their patrols. Itachi checked his watch and made his way to the Hokage tower for his appointment.
--
Konoha was quite different than in the other timelines, with the power of the Uchiha behind them, even after the Kyuubi attack they had remained strong. There was a lack of ninja being recruited from civilian families, but they had their police force to protect them. Sarutobi took a deep puff from his pipe and told Itachi to come in.
"As you know, the new recruits from the academy are graduating and there are no teams currently needing a new member. I know your skills are those of chunin."
Itachi sighed, "At best…"
"Now don't put yourself down, you are recovering from the incident quite well and it's time to join a new team."
Okay, he had five rusty kunai stabbed in his joints and was left to die while taking that bathroom break that last chunin exam a year ago. What was worse: the smell or the pain? The pain, the wounds had caused him to go into a nine-month coma to recover and his body was still not up to par.
"Hai, Hokage-sama."
"The number of graduates is one short of being divisible by three. Since you are good enough to be a chunin, you will act as the top spot and be placed with the last."
"So probably Naruto?" Itachi saw the Hokage frown and nod. "That's good."
"Is there anything else you wish to discuss while you're here?" 'And let me procrastinate doing this paper work for a little longer?'
"I suppose I can't get you to let Sasuke have a break can you? He's looking kind of ragged, he's just a kid."
"I know, but the council seems very interested in keeping him busy. He should have the day after tomorrow off, if I remember correctly."
"Thank you, I have another date with Ayame-chan to get to now. So good luck with the paperwork Hokage-sama."
--
"Tell me your name, likes, dislikes, and your dream," Kakashi said while looking at his team. They were a weird bunch, even for him.
"Fine. My name is Uchiha Itachi. I like my pocky and Ayame-chan and dislike the expectations and assumptions of the biased. My dream…hm." The others looked for him to continue, but went on realizing he was done.
"My name is Uzumak Naruto. I like ramen and Sakura-chan! I dislike stuck up bastards that don't know anything. My dream is to be Hokage!"
"I'm Haruno Sakura, I like dango and my friends. I guess Naruto, but not in that way!" Sakura waved her hands vehemently, "I dislike people who don't care about others' feelings, I want to become a good kunoichi, despite that I'm from a civilian family."
'Hm, the "Failure", a Hokage wannabe, and Pinky. They don't seem that unbalanced for a team.' "Hatake Kakashi, I like reading, dislike some things, and want to do several things before I die. Now, meet me tomorrow for a survival training exam that will determine if you become genin, barring yourself Itachi."
"What?" The two 12 year-olds shouted.
Itachi sighed again, 'Another exam…' "He's not joking, to become accepted by your captain, they often make you take a unique test. I've seen four different ones so far."
The kids stared in shock, just how long were they going to be held back if they failed?
"Um, I only failed the first one, it's hard to fail more than once after you know the meanings they want to see, even for me," Itachi gave a weak smile.
Kakashi groaned, 'Apparently Hokage-sama has gotten tired of me failing teams and has brought out a ringer.'
--
"Team 7 passed, and you're an evil person Hokage-sama," Kakashi reported to him and the other jounins, who looked in amazement. "Apparently Itachi has the genin exam down to a science. The little bastards just laughed when I explained the rules and corrected me on the whole 66 percent fail rate. Then Naruto spammed kage bushins, Itachi henged his normal bushins in with Naruto's while throwing kunai, and Sakura cast weak genjutsus and was eventually thrown at me by Itachi to get the bells." 'The look on her face was almost worth it…'
"You should've taken the time to change the exam now, eh?"
--
Little Tidbits that don't fit
"Itachi, isn't there any other way to become chunin besides the chunin exam?"
"There are Naruto, I just don't do good on those test either," Itachi replied before muttering to himself angrily, "Damn gerbil balancing, they should live in a more unsightly manner…"
--
"Sasuke, why?!" Itachi screamed, returning from Team 7's first C rank mission to see the Uchiha massacre.
"I needed a tool to measure myself…" Sasuke gave the basic 'Itachi speech.' It was a little awkward when Itachi stood up to face Sasuke down. Pre-pubescent Sasuke reached his chest.
"Oh, now I realize what Hokage-sama said about preparing for a special mission 2 months ago. Makes sense with all the Uchiha plotting that has been going on. I guess I was spared because I don't have the sharingan yet and you protected me, and the kills on the non-combatants don't look quite like your work, another Uchiha killed the children against your will and you feel responsible? Well, I'm not going to start chasing you for revenge just so you can settle your conscious about this. Get laid or something."
Sasuke watched in amazement as Itachi stepped over the dead bodies and went to his room. He didn't care what the clan had said, his big brother was awesome in his own right.
--
"It's not FAIR! Sakura gets that hunk of man meat on her team and I'm stuck with sloth and blubbernaut?" Ino screeched as she saw Itachi come in for team announcements. Chouji;s anger flared and Ino felt the back of her head was covered in pudding.
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Maybe needs a little more flushed out… enjoy? I may tweak it here and there later if I write another chapter for it. PM if you want something put in the tidbit sections.