I want to thank everyone who took the time to vote... I gotta say, I could not have been more surprised with the way the poll turned out.
Michael, like a Zen master: Sometimes... life takes us in directions we could never predict ourselves.
Thoughtful pause.
Michael: When Vicki Lawrence shot Andy Griffith... could she have predicted she would later turn it into the hit song 'The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia?"
The camera quickly pans out to reveal Pam standing next to him.
Pam, pammishly: Um, I don't think that's how it happened, Michael.
He scoffs at her stupidity.
Michael: And, by the same token, who could have predicted that I would willing give up a convention... the single greatest joy in the entire world of sales... to tend to the woman I love on her sickbed?
He nods warmly.
Michael: And I don't mind telling you, some days I'm tending to her sickbed five, six times a day.
In a perfect 138 Moment: Pam shrinks within herself so rapidly, there is real concern she might implode.
---
"So, you're really going," Creed gave the old grin and nod.
"Looks like," Jim concurred.
"Knock 'em dead in Stamford, kid," Creed said, giving Jim a playful punch on the shoulder. "You'll be missed."
"Uh... I'm actually just going to Newark for a week, Creed," Jim replied.
"Don't forget to bring a towel," Creed advised, completely unfazed.
"Sound advice," Jim agreed.
Creed nodded. Then, after a moment asked "Wanna get high?"
Jim pretended to think about it for a moment. "Not right now, no," he finally decided.
"Just say the word," Creed said, leaning in and winking.
This struck Jim as a good time to jim.
----
Meanwhile, an entire desk away...
"Heeeeeey, Pammy," Andy cooed, sidling up to her desk. "I've got about ten minutes until I'm leavin' on a jet plane, what do you say you and me clean out the old supply closet?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry," Pam replied very, very quickly, but with total conviction, "but I don't date other Dunder-Mifflin employees."
Andy cocked and eyebrow, this seemed wrong somehow. "Really?"
Pam shook her head. "Sorry, but that's always been my policy and I just can't violate it."
Andy bit his bottom lip and nodded. "No, that's cool," he affirmed. "I can really respect that."
Pam gave him a weak smile.
"Hey, have you seen Meredith?" he rebounded.
----
"So... I'll be leaving soon," Dwight said, standing solemnly behind Angela's desk.
"Yes, that seems to be the case," she replied, her voice even colder and less emotional than usual.
"I'll be gone for an entire week," he muttered sadly.
"Have a good trip," she said as though she were speaking to Kelly.
Everything in Dwight told him to leave it there, but he still gave it one more chance. "I just..."
"You're going to miss your flight," she cut him.
Dwight nodded sadly and sulked off towards the door.
----
Dwight, looking like a wide-eyed, lost, cartoon penguin: I didn't expect anyone to run to meet me at the gates... and I wasn't disappointed.
Pause.
Dwight: It wouldn't have been professional.
Pause.
Dwight: We both agreed on these roles, so we both have to follow them.
The camera lingers on Dwight for a few more minutes of wet, quivering silence.
----
"You gotta love there paid vacations," Andy declared, already treasuring the thrill of going through security.
"It's not a vacation," Jim corrected vacantly, "we're going to be on the convention floor pretty much all day."
"There's one in every office," Andy snickered to Dwight, who was far too busy looking over his shoulder every two seconds to respond. Andy turned his attention back to Jim. "Don't you realize what this is, Tuna? This is seven whole days in a city we'll never see again!" He tried to punch Jim playfully in the chest, but was hindered by his massively over-packed shoulderbag and nearly toppled over. "Just imagine," he said as he tried to stabilize himself, "you could goose any woman you want and never have to worry about seeing her again."
Jim wondered how many different ways he could jim in a single week.
"Dwight!" Jim called out to the distracted salesman. "You have to take off your shoes, buddy, we're going through security.
Dwight complied, but Jim could tell that he was distracted; he didn't take the time to salute the mental detector operators, thank them for the work they were doing to protect the country, or even request that they give Jim a little "extra" attention.
Yep, something was definitely wrong with Dwight.
Jim turned to Andy to comment on it, but found the other man had very quickly immersed himself in conversation with a girl in a backpack.
"Wow," Andy exclaimed with simulated amazement, "so you weren't even alive the year 'Detachable Penis' was released as a single."
----
Jim-shrug.
Jim: Hey, at least I'm out of Scranton for a week.
----
After four full hours of waiting (during which Andy asked Jim such diverse questions as "how many members of the Justice League can you name from memory?" (surprisingly many) and "do you think any of the women I know think about me when they masturbate?"("sure, Andy"), the plane was finally passing awkwardly through the air.
Andy was very loudly singing along with headset, which was bad enough, but when he started doing the Cabbage Patch, Jim knew the bottom had dropped out of his own personal Hell. He turned to his left and saw the Dwight was staring unblinkingly at the emergency exit hatch less than three feet away from them.
"You okay there, Dwight?" Jim asked with a concern that surprised Jim himself by being seemingly genuine.
Dwight didn't move even slightly. "Just think," he replied in a voice like a dying worm, "all I have to do is pull that hatch... and I can kill everyone onboard this plane."
Were the any space whatsoever between them, Jim would have backed away slowly.
"I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie wor-orld..." Andy sang.
----
Jim: It almost makes me miss the time I flew with Michael...
Pause.
Jim: And he did his Shatner impression...
Pause.
Jim: For five hours straight.
----
Michael, pointing wildly out his office window: There's some... thing... onthewingoftheplane!
How many members of the Justice League can you name from memory? Write in to let me know.