Chapter Nine: Secrets, Lies, and True Feelings II
Disclaimer: I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I give credit to the CW, to Amy Sherman Pallidino, to The writers and producers to Gilmore Girls, and I do not claim anything. This is not for publication nor is it for reproduction. Please simply enjoy. I give everyone credit for this. Credit to the artist for their song, and lyrics, I do not claim to own, nor do I intend to publicize the lyrics or copyright.
I do not own the song or the lyrics involved in this story.
AN: So, you finally got a little more action, do you feel better yet? Well it's still a bumpy road yet, but you will come to like it I am sure.
"Hi, Rory." Logan couldn't think of anything else to say. He was at a complete loss for words, and he thought that might have been the first time too. He looked at her, and momentarily lost his breath, even when she is in a hospital bed with cords, and tube she was still completely stunning. Lorelai was right though she wasn't the same anymore. He couldn't believe how wrecked she looked. "I would ask how you are doing, but I think that wouldn't cover it."
"What are you doing here, why are you here, why were you in Stars Hollow? I don't understand Logan, I have dealt with you more over the last few days then I did the last few weeks we were together. You left Logan, you said all or nothing, so why are you doing this now." She felt her heart speed up before she could catch her breath; the tears started rolling down her cheeks. All she wanted was for him to stand up, walk over to her and kiss her, tell her he loved her and that he needed her, wanted her, craved her by him. But then the surges of anger arouse from the pits of almost nowhere, and she couldn't hold it back anymore. "Logan you know that song from the group you and I listened to non stop for about a month? One Republic?"
"Yeah…" He wanted to say more, but after seeing her cry he just looked out the window and waited for her point.
"Well the song that I feel right now, Prodigal. We say good bye, I turn my back, Run Away, Run Away, so predictable not far from here, you see me crack, like a bone, like a bone, I'm so breakable. And I take everything from you, but you'll take anything, won't you? Run away, Run Away, Like a prodigal, Don't you wait for me, don't you wait for me, so ashamed, so ashamed, but I need you so.
How can you come in here, acting like you didn't break my heart, you Logan walked away, you gave me the ultimatum and you didn't like the choice I made, you have to live with the decision that YOU made, you need to stop haunting me, get out of my dreams, get out of my heart, out of my mind, out of my LIFE." Rory turned her head to look out the window that Logan was looking through; she saw movement from her peripherals and still did not turn to look at him. She knew he was crying too, but she didn't care, what did he expect that she would say come home? Not likely.
Logan stood up and walked over to her, he placed his fingertips on the back of her hand, but she quickly pulled her hand away. This movement hurt him even more than her words.
"Ace, Rory, I came because I made the worst decision a man could make, I can't look at anyone without thinking that you need to be in front of me, I can't handle not seeing you everyday, and whether you want to wait fifty years to get married, I will wait, I will. I will follow you anywhere you want to go, and I will make this work, because I can't live without you." He stared at her face, it looked ghostly, and it seemed to sink in around her jaw line, she lost a lot of weight, and he silently beat himself up knowing he was the reason he looked like this. He knew they were both wrong, but he also knew not to tell her she was wrong.
"Look, I am not your 'ace' anymore, and I know I may not have made the best decision Logan, but I am sticking to it. I can't see you, it was all or nothing, and I still choose nothing. You can leave now." She continued to look out the window, she could feel his eyes penetrating her, taking in her appearance. She was fragile, and breakable, and she blamed herself for getting so hung up on a Huntzberger.
Logan leaned forward and kissed her forehead, the salty moisture on his lips seemed to pour into his lips, and he noticed how cold she felt, he would almost have thought she was dying from the temperature of her skin. But all the same just touching her again sent flames through his body and it seemed as if all the troubles he was going through were starting to melt away. He prayed that she felt it too, but looking at her expression, if there was any mutual feeling she hid it well.
Rory felt his lips grace her forehead, and she couldn't help but feel more pain, there was no relief, no longing, not burning desire for more, her anger consumed those feelings and it only seemed to fuel it more. She ran her fingers over the nurse's call button and pressed the button before he could stand straight. She didn't want him there, his cologne was a reminder of happiness she didn't want to revisit, at least not yet.
BEEP BEEP BEEP Patient assistance needed in room 405 BEEP BEEP BEEP
Lorelai stood up faster than any of the other group, something went wrong. She looked around to the door and watched Logan back out of the room, soon tears were welling in his eyes. Lorelai starred at him, and he looked into her eyes. She knew he was crushed, and this time it was Rory's doing. This time Rory was the one that had the heart of stone and the only person that she could blame was herself. She thought about all the times she talked about Christopher and the bad break up she had with Luke. Did she turn her daughter into the unforgiving person laying in that hospital bed? She asked herself is this the life that she made for her. Logan turned and walked away. While her family ran into the hospital room, Lorelai ran after Logan.
"Logan wait, where are you going, what happened, slow down, are you aware that if you make a woman run in heels she could die. LOGAN!" With that Lorelai stopped dead, she started using her mother tone which seemed to have worked by stopping him in his tracks.
"I don't want to discuss this Lorelai, she doesn't want me and I can't change that now."
"I know she does Logan, you can't leave or she will not want you, she is testing you, Logan she thinks you are going to leave again, if you do she will be right and all our effort will be in vain."
"Lorelai, she TOLD me to leave, she does not want me here, and she made it clear she does not want me."
"No you listen, and you listen well, I taught my daughter to have a strong will and a stronger heart, she is hurting but she wants you and she needs you. I can tell, I see it in her eyes. All these memories, panic attacks, everything she is putting herself through its because of you. Don't walk out on her, not now, not again." Lorelai felt the tears running down her cheeks, she realized that she was fighting a losing battle, and as she turned to leave he grabbed her arm.
"Look, I love her Lorelai, and I always will. This is my card, with my address, when she is ready call me and I will be here in a flash, or I will pay for her to come to San Francisco, but until then I will do her bidding and let her get well. I want her to be happy above all, and I will not return to Connecticut if she doesn't want me to. I love her more than my life and I will do anything for that woman in there, but I can only do what she will let me. Don't look at me like that, I know you want her to be happy too, however that is up to her. We can't force this on her, you know better than I do, she is stubborn its her way or no way. I can't control this any more than you can so forgive me for not wanting to stay here and mope. It is not my decision to make. But you know where I will be so use it when you feel it's time."
"The time is now, NOW, Logan. But fine leave, run away scared little boy, because you are walking away again." She pulled her arm away and walked to her daughter's room. She never looked back at the man she managed to shrink down to a child but she had to be strong for her daughter now, and help he move on more now than ever.
Lorelai pushed open the door dropping the card into the trash can as she rounded the corner. The TV was on and all she heard were the mumblings of Emily but the music coming from whatever the show was. The piano was familiar. She looked at Rory who looked stronger than ever before, realizing her daughter was going to be okay, she walked over and kissed her temple.
Rory turned the volume of the TV down as her mother walked into the room. For once in a long time she realized what she was going to do. The song seemed as if it was a sign and she confirmed in her mind, it was the right thing to do.
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,
You don't know me, you don't even care...
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.
Rory decided after she gets out of the hospital she is going to go to…
…Boston.