Timeframe: Set during 4x09, some dialogue borrowed
Chapter summary: Rachel knows something's up, and the NYADA Winter Showcase is coming up.
Rating: K

2.

As Kurt arrived back at the Bushwick loft, he was immediately accosted by Rachel. She was beaming from ear to ear and looped her arm through his.

"Alright, spill," she said, pulling him towards the couch. "Who is it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Rachel," Kurt replied, though he had a suspicion what this could be about. Rachel rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"Come on, Kurt! A 24-hour date? You went out last night and didn't come back until now? You know what I am talking about!"

That did surprise Kurt. "I did come home, actually," he corrected her. "I just went out again this morning. For breakfast." He glanced at the window. It was dark outside. "A very long breakfast. More like a brunch...dinner...thing."

Rachel slumped a little. Then she smiled slyly. "With the same guy as yesterday?" she asked, squeezing his arm encouragingly.

Kurt sighed. She wasn't going to let this go unless he gave her something. "No. Yesterday's date didn't go so well. I mean, he was nice but we just didn't...spark." He gave Rachel an ominous look. "He can't sing."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Rachel offered, immediately understanding what a downer that must have been.

Kurt shrugged a little. It already seemed like so long ago. Now that he was with Sebastian, it no longer mattered. But he couldn't tell her that. Not yet. If he did, everyone would know, and he needed more time to prepare them for that.

"And what about breakfast-guy? I mean, it was a guy, right?" Rachel asked. "That was kind of spontaneous, wasn't it? You usually tell me when you're going out." Kurt could tell she was trying hard to contain her curiosity and not sound reproachful.

"Yeah, I guess it was. We... had dinner a few times before," Kurt confessed. "After my date, I realized I wanted to see him and I did."

Rachel gasped theatrically. "Dinners? What? When? Why didn't you tell me?" Clearly all effort to keep accusations at bay were now lost. She was his best friend and he had been keeping things from her. Kurt put his hand on hers.

"I didn't tell anyone, Rachel. After Blaine, I just...needed some time to figure out what I wanted. I'm still not sure if this is going to work out. It's all very...new." He smiled a little as he thought about it. It was new, and it wasn't. If he was honest, it had probably been going on for a while now, even if they had only made it official today.

"I knew it," Rachel whispered. "I knew there was something different about you lately."

Kurt gave her a blank look. He had been different?

"In a good way," she added quickly. "More... yourself again. Like you were before-" she hesitated.

"Before I broke up with Blaine?" Kurt offered. Rachel nodded. Kurt sighed. "I'm not sure I'll ever be like I was before that. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

Rachel gave him a solemn look. "That's right. You and I, Kurt, we're not going to let this thing drag us down. We're moving forward. Finding our new selves."

Kurt smiled softly. Rachel's words reminded him of the power speeches she used to give to boost the New Directions when they were down in the dumps after another slushy attack or one of Sue Sylvester's many attempts to sabotage them. She smiled back.

"Does he make you happy, Kurt?" she asked.

Kurt grinned and rolled his eyes a little. "He drives me crazy. Half the time I don't know whether to kiss him or to punch him in the face." He snorted. "Yes. He makes me happy. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, it's just... I didn't realize how I felt about him until I tried going out with someone else."

"So romantic," Rachel whispered, squeezing his hand.

"Trust me, he's not," Kurt assured her. He couldn't stop the smile on his face as he thought about how Sebastian would react if he heard Rachel Berry was imagining he was some kind of dream prince. Kurt had enough of fairy tales. He took Rachel's hand firmly in his. "Rachel, can you promise me you won't tell anyone about this until I am ready to talk to Blaine? I don't want him to find out from someone else."

Rachel nodded. "Of course. Not a word."

Kurt smiled. "Thanks. I promise I'll tell him as soon as I can. It's just that with my NYADA reapplication pending and the whole thing being so new..."

"I understand," Rachel assured him. "So you haven't heard from Madame Tibideaux yet?" As Kurt shrugged, she nodded. "I'm sure she'll get back to you soon. I guess she's very busy right now, you know, selecting students for the Winter Showcase."

"I hope so. I have one more chance of getting into NYADA and I can't blow my audition."

"It's not your last chance, you know. You can still re-apply."

"No. I can't live my life chasing something that the universe is trying to tell me I am not good enough to achieve," Kurt replied firmly. If this whole thing with Blaine had taught him one thing, it was that dreams didn't always come true. It was better to stay realistic.

"No, not the universe. Just Carmen Tibedeaux."

Kurt raised his eyebrow. "Is there a difference?"

Rachel sighed. She understood where he was coming from. Sometimes it did feel like there wasn't. "I just wish there was a way I'd get into the Winter Showcase. But there's no chance of that. Alexandra Blasucci was the last freshman to get one in the last seven years and she was practically raised on the Broadway stage."

Kurt smiled wistfully. "Just getting into NYADA would be good enough for me." Of course it wasn't- not if he really searched inside himself. He could pretend all he wanted about being realistic, but his dreams were still as big as Rachel's. He also wanted that golden envelope, but the chances of him getting one were even smaller than Rachel's. At least she was actually a student.

"You'll make it," Rachel said confidently. "You've got me and breakfast-guy now to back you up." She winked. Kurt smiled and sat back. That was true. He really did have Sebastian now.

"...And then I got one, Bas, I got a golden ticket!" Kurt exclaimed excitedly, clutching his phone in one hand and the envelope in the other. He was at the men's room of NYADA, the only place Rachel couldn't follow. His fingers had been halfway to dialing Blaine's number, when he realized there was someone else he wanted to tell first. Kurt had only come to Rachel's school to ask Madame Tibideaux if she had received his reapplication, and then he had actually gotten invited to re-audition, and not just any old time: at the Winter Showcase, in front of Carmen Tibideaux and the faculty, famous NYADA alumni, and several handpicked students. It was insane!

"...to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?" Sebastian asked, sounding a little confused. Kurt tsked.

"No, an invitation to perform at the NYADA Winter Showcase, silly. It's like the NYADA Met ball. Ten students are invited to perform at the showcase a year. The cream of the cream. Carmen Tibedeaux hand-writes and hand-delivers every invitation. Just getting invited is an honor. Former winners have gone on to win Emmys, Tonys, Golden Globes, and even an Oscar. And they all agree: the proudest and greatest moment of their careers was when Carmen handed them that golden envelope." Kurt sounded a little winded by the time he was done explaining. A little voice in the back of his head nagged that Blaine would have known what this was about right away, but he reminded himself firmly that he couldn't blame Sebastian for that. He was just not such a Broadway junkie as Blaine was, and he wasn't active on the NYADA blogs and forums like Kurt had been the last few months.

"But... you're not a NYADA student," Sebastian replied. "I mean, not yet, anyway."

"I know. She said she was making an exception for me and that I was her eleventh guest. I won't actually be in the competition, but I will get to sing for her again. Isn't it amazing? I'm getting a second chance."

"Hmm. Sure. If that's what she's doing. I don't know, Kurt. I mean, from what you've told me, this woman hardly sounds rational. She tells you your audition was great, then dumps you, and Berry gets in because she stalks her? I wouldn't get my hopes up. It sounds to me like she just enjoys pulling people's strings."

Kurt frowned. "No, she's not... it's not like that. I really think this is a chance for me. Like... a sign that she's ready to listen to me now. To really listen."

Sebastian paused for a moment as he made up his mind. "In that case... when is it? I want to be there. You know, just to make sure that Tibedeaux woman is playing fair."

Kurt smiled at his reflection in the mirror, but it faded a little as he realized he couldn't take Sebastian to the Showcase. "Next Friday. But...it's invitation only, Sebastian," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Sebastian said smoothly, pushing away his disappointment, "I have to work anyway."

"I really wish-" Kurt started, but Sebastian cut him off.

"Maybe next time. So do you know what you're going to sing yet?"

Kurt leaned against the wall and let his head fall back. "God, no. I have nothing prepared and it's such short notice. I thought about something from Phantom, but she gets that all the time, or maybe Sunset Boulevard... but it just doesn't feel right. She knows all of them, Bastian, all of the great singers on Broadway. No matter what song I pick, she's always going to compare it to someone who will have sung it better than me!"

"So... don't sing a Broadway song," Sebastian suggested. He walked over to his laptop and sat down in front of it, opening itunes.

"But-" Kurt started.

"I'm serious. New Directions did rock and pop classics all the time, right? And you won Nationals with that, Kurt. I'm sure you have a dozen songs up your sleeve that complement your voice that Carmen Tibedeaux hasn't heard a thousand times before."

Kurt chewed his lip. Could Sebastian be right? He thought about his solos in Glee Club. The reactions to his big show numbers had always been awkwardly appreciative; he had gotten a lot more applause for I Want to Hold Your Hand or I Have Nothing. He had always blamed his fellow Gleeclubbers' lack of Broadway knowledge. Pop songs were more accessible to them. But what if that wasn't because of the song, but because of the way he sang them? Maybe, though he lived and breathed musicals, the music that had been written since he was born was more apt to express what he felt than 70s standards.

"I'll think about it," he said finally.

"Do you want me to come over and go through your playlists between jobs?" Sebastian offered.

Kurt hesitated. "Rachel doesn't have classes this week," he said carefully. "Could I come to your place tomorrow?"

A breath. "Sure. Of course."

Kurt smiled. "Great. I'll pick you up at seven at Starbucks. See you then."

Sebastian hung up and shook his head at himself. He really hoped Kurt wasn't going to be disappointed. He didn't trust that Tibideaux. Maybe he should ask his father if he had any dirt on her- with such a high profile, surely her record wasn't 100% clean. Then he sighed. What was he thinking? His dad hadn't even cared enough to get him un-expelled from the Le Grand, why would he bother helping a friend of his son? Especially a boyfriend. Sebastian's expression hardened. They were on their own.