A/N: rewritten by Priscilla Silver, originally written by Parris Silver. We don't own the 39 Clues.

[The Cahills: Chapter Two]

The subject title said From the Authors of the 39 Clues—an innocent title, it sounded like. Amy's experience with books had always been positive, and she tended to associate authors with good things, for the most part.

She had no idea what was coming as she opened the email, eyes scrolling through it.

"Dear Miss or Mr. Cahill;

As the authors of the bestselling series, the 39 Clues, we are most pleased to inform you about a recent development in the series. As you all know, there is a 39 Clues website, and a 39 Clues fanfiction site was recently opened, so far being a big hit. It has received almost five thousand stories so far, and we would like to encourage you to visit it.

Best Regards,

The Authors of the 39 Clues, and fellow Cahills."

"Hey, Dan!" Amy called, feeling as if she ought to share this website with her brother. It hadn't occurred to her that it might be prudent to look through it first, by herself, in case there was some sort of...pornography or other inappropriate things on it. That would probably thrill him, as a hormonal kid, but she wasn't allowing that.

But, unfortunately, it was a nice, summery afternoon, and she didn't feel like being prudent.

"What? What happened? Did Vespers break into the house? This had better be good," Dan yelled, stumbling into the room, looking rumpled. Long scratches ran up and down his arm, and he was still carrying a can of cat food from his rush over.

"Remind me to buy some more red snapper," Dan said, wincing as he ran his hand down the deep scratches. "This is what you get when you try to feed Saladin anything else."

Amy pointed at the email, which Dan read through painstakingly slowly, trying to process it. He dropped the can of cat food to stare intensely at the screen, as if there might be some sort of secret code hidden in the monitor.

"Wait—so on this fanfiction-thingy they wrote stories...about us?" he asked.

Amy sighed as he scanned the email further, although it was hardly long. "No. They smuggle black-marketed content onto the Internet under the guise of an innocent children's series' fanfiction, because the government is actually a huge perpetrator of censorship and these are the rebels. The mockingjays."

Dan's face lit up, ignoring her sarcastic explanation as well as her blatant Hunger Games reference. "Cool!" he exclaimed, leaning against her desk to get a closer look. "I bet they wrote totally awesome things about me!"

"Well, why don't we find out?" Amy clicked on the link attached in the email, highlighted in blue.

A list of names appeared, naming everyone mentioned in the 39 Clues books. Amy clicked on her name first, ignoring her brother's muffled protest, and a list of genres appeared.

"R-r-romance?" she stuttered as she read down the list. "Romance?" She promptly realized her mistake, as Dan—being a slower reader than she was—was still skimming the top, not quite catching it.

A mischievous grin spread across Dan's face when he heard this, his eyes jumping down to the spot hers was fixated on. "Ohh, rooooomance!" he said, stretching the word out. "I wonder who they paired my sister with? Let's see!" Before Amy could protest, he clicked on the category, wrenching her laptop from her in the period.

A new page opened, and what looked like scrambled words appeared on the screen. "Amian...what's that?" Dan read the first word, scrunching up his eyebrows in confusion. "Is it an anagram?"

"No, it isn't." In a slightly trembling voice, she tried to explain, her words running away from her. Her words were being quite sensible, actually. "I think...well, I think what they're doing is, they're mixing up the names of two people, because..." her voice trailed off.

Dan caught on what she was talking about. "So then Amian is...you and Ian Cobra?" he laughed. "This, I've got to read!"

"What? No! Don't you dare, Dan Cahill!" Amy shrieked, trying to grab the laptop back from her. She frantically searched the pencil holder for a weapon, but the best thing she could find was a pair of Garfield safety scissors. Maybe she could gouge out his eyeballs, but she never was meant to be an evil older sister.

"Too late," Dan replied cheerily, clicking the mouse. A list of stories appeared. It was in the triple digits.

"Here's a good one!" he said, mute to Amy's shrieks for him to stop. "Forbidden Love."

"NO! Please, Dan, don't!" she pleaded, already reaching for the pair of safety scissors. She didn't even know what she was going to do—maybe try to cut the words off the screen?

"Sixteen year old Amy Cahill sat on the stone bench at the park, waiting for a certain Lucian. Suddenly, a pair of strong hands closed over her eyes. 'Hello, love,' Ian whispered into her ear, before kissing her cheek.

"You know our branches would kill us if they knew," Amy said as Ian draped his jacket over her shoulders."

Dan found himself to read any further, laughing too hard to breathe as he clutched onto the edge of the desk for support. He completely disregarded the threatening pair of safety scissors, choosing instead to dribble out a string of words from the fanfic as he attempted to regain control.

Amy took this time to take over the laptop.

"Dan's Romances," she read out loud. "Dadison, Deagan, Natan...Natan? You and Natalie?" She let out a bubble of laughter, a little softer and less smug than his own, but was still glued to the screen nevertheless.

"NO!" her brother yelled, cut short by the click of the keys. He grabbed a plastic ruler from the pencil holder, marked meticulously with red and black, as if whacking her with it might stop her.

Amy began reading out loud.

"Dan was alone. Nellie was off to a Paris cooking school, Amy was at a boarding school in Italy—and they'd dropped him off here in England at the Kabras' mansion. That was...different. Very different.

At the thought of the Kabras, Dan smiled. He couldn't wait to meet Natalie!

Right on cue, Natalie walked out of the mansion, flew toward him with no little joy, and hugged him. 'Dan, you're here!' she cried happily, kissing his cheek. Dan blushed as they walked together down the path, smiling at each other."

Dan stared at the computer screen in shocked horror, while Amy began laughing harder. "You and Natalie smiling at each other? Getting you two to say three words to each other without insulting the other is hard enough already!"

"What about you and Ian, then?" Dan retorted.

Amy blushed. "We should just be glad that they haven't seen the website yet," she said.

Dan sighed in relief, but a cloud of worry suddenly cast a shadow over it as he jammed the plastic ruler back into the holder. The 'yet' seemed to hover over him; he leaned toward the laptop screen again, still breathing heavily from his laughing/shouting ordeal.

"Uh...Amy, are you sure those Cahill authors only sent it to us?"

Amy pounced at the computer, quickly going back to her email.

Then she screamed.