Rai: Hello people; Summer's here!! AND IT SUCKS ASS. TTwTT So I decided to treat you all to a mass update of fanfics~
Kujo: 'Er else I'm gon' have 'ta make ye enjoy it, know what I mean? -Cracks Knuckles-
Allen: Now Kujo, watch yourself. You should be thanking all the viewers out there~ Besides, you're not in the anime or manga: so without them and Rai here, your existence would mean nothing.
Kujo: Harsh words, Master. Ouch... Ye hurt me... hurt me deep.
Allen: Oh stop being so melodramatic. I was merely joking. Anyhow, do enjoy the newest update for the Boundaries of Sanity. Rai does not own D. Gray Man.
Kujo: And she never will, so bye bye now!! Read on people!!
Rai:...-sulks- What they said.
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The Boundaries Of Sanity
Chapter 2:
Truths Revealed: Bonds Weakened
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Summary: His haunted gaze fell upon the mirror once more, and as the figure reflected in himself grinned at him; he brought his fist to the cold glass.
–
Previously:
"Fucking perfect. Yes Allen, go ahead and land yourself in the god damn infirmary so you don't draw attention to yourself. Way to fucking go, genius." I grumbled, fingering the blood-stained bandages on my hand.
"Um…Allen?" My gaze met with wide-eyes. Oh crap...
"…Fuck my life."
'Nice going Master; now they think yer crazy.'
–
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me."
-Ayn Rand
–
Great. Fucking great. Now what the hell am I supposed to do? What the hell do I tell them? 'Why hello there dear friends, the Allen you thought was Allen really isn't the true Allen and this fucked up guy right here; the one talking to himself and cursing frantically, yeah: that's the Allen you all thought you knew. But don't worry, I don't bite.' Yes. Wouldn't that be amusing?
'Damn Master, yer even crazier than I thought.'
'Like they say, Kujo... Insanity is genius.'
'True.'
"Um...Allen? A-Are you okay?" I stared blankly at Lenalee. Really, common sense just flew out the window. Sighing, I cracked an odd smile, hoping it would be even a bit convincing. And as I stared at the reactions of my comrades, I immediately dropped the act and glowered.
"I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking. Although, you guys don't seem very well. You look pale, are you feeling alright?" I asked, completely avoiding the task at hand.
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"Is there something on my face?"
"..."
"What the fuck? Really, you should all just take a damn picture; it will last much longer. So do me a favor and stop freaking staring at me!" I threw my hands in the air, exasperated. When their eyes bulged out of their sockets; I cursed inwardly.
"..."
"You act as if this was unexpected. And Lenalee; you of all people should not be surprised. Honestly, if you guys would have looked at me from various perspectives, then this should have come as old news." I looked away from them, crossing my arms. And as moments of silence passed, I counted how many seconds it would take for someone to speak.
"Allen." Oh joy, someone speaks up at last. Way to fucking waste 398 seconds of my life.
"Hm?" I question, cracking one eye open whilst raising a brow.
"You've got some explaining to do." Fuck.
"Well of course I do, captain obvious." Well at least I was being polite.
'Of course ye were, Master.'
"So..where exactly do you want me to start?" I ask, yawning. I opened my eyes lazily to see Lavi staring intently at me. "What?" I asked.
"Please don't take this so lightly, Allen. We're worried about you, so please don't take our feelings lightly." I nodded in understanding but grit my teeth in anger. Hell, I never did well with lectures. Though I admit it's childish of me, it's just how I've always been.
'A problem, Master?'
'No, I just don't work well with lectures. They irk me....for lack of better words.'
"Something displease you, Allen?" Lavi yells, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, lifting me up in the air a bit... "Because really, I don't have to care at all. I'm not supposed to care in the first place! So pray tell what you find so not to your liking."
"I never asked you to bother caring." I muttered softly, but loud enough for them to hear. Next thing I knew I found myself eating a fist and being dropped to the floor in an abrupt yet swift motion. I glared up at him to find a seething emerald eye glaring back down at me. I brought my hand to my swollen jaw, wiping blood from my mouth; and my eyes hardened.
"If you're so hell bent on this, then fine!! I won't fucking care!" Lavi yelled, his expression reflecting pain, hurt, and betrayal.
"Fer tha moment, please don't yell an' allow me to explain, would ya?"
'Damn it all, Kujo. Give me control of my fucking body.'
'Ah ah ah, Master. Patience is a virtue. So sit back an' relax, let me explain things to 'em.'
Well fuck. I guess there's nothing else I can do. It never occurred to me how being in my own mind would be. It's like watching a never-ending movie...That is of course...Until I die.
I watched with bitter eyes as my comrades stared at Kujo. I took in his appearance and chuckled. It was as if he was a carbon copy of myself, though there were differences. His hair was midnight black, his skin was tanned as a Noah's would be, and his eyes were that of an alluring gold. And instead of the usual seven stigmata that adorned a Noah's forehead, there was one small stigmata mark located on the upper right area of his forehead. His curse mark, like mine, was red in all it's bloody glory. And briefly, I spotted a marking on his upper right arm that read 'Λάθος Νώε.'
'It reads False Noah, just in case you're wondering.' I turn to find myself face to face with none other than the 14th.
"....What the hell is it that you want?"
"I merely wanted to greet you, Allen~" And after sending a haunting grin my way, he disappeared in a blur of red petals. How fucking cliché.
"Who are you?" I heard Lavi ask, snapping me back to reality. I turned and continued to watch as the events unfolded before me.
"Tha name's Kujo, an' I'm Master's alter ego, if you will."
"Alter ego? You seem more like a Noah to me." Lavi spat, watching Kujo closely.
"Ah, but that's where yer wrong, Lavi. I was originally meant ta' be Master's Noah form, though some things changed tha' completely."
"Explain what you mean by that, Kujo." And this time it was Komui who spoke, pushing up the rim of his glasses, looking at Kujo warily.
"I was born in response to tha 14th's memories bein' implanted in Master. Since Master was able to fight it off, I became more of a split personality. However, do not be mistaken... As I was meant to be a Noah, I have Noah-like qualities and powers." I noticed that Kujo was serious, and his usually playful accent was gone. "But you may need to be aware of one more thing. I am not the only entity residing in Master's mind. The 14th Noah's memories have somehow managed to manifest into an inner entity as well. Heed my words that although you may not have to worry about me, the 14th is an entirely different story."
"So this is why Allen has been acting so... strange lately?" It was Lenalee who spoke this time.
"Your words are amusin'. No, I am not tha reason Master has been...strange. Tha' is simply how Master is. Though I, along with the 14th, may have somethin' to do with all tha stress he's been experiencing."
"I find it hard to believe that Allen is really like that!" Lavi yelled. Simply, I was taken aback.
'Why?'
'He simply does not want to believe that their savior is tainted.' I chuckled dryly, and brought my hands to my face.
'It is time I regained control, Kujo.'
Lavi and the others watched as Kujo shut his eyes and smiled bitterly and spoke aloud...
"As you wish, Master."
I opened my eyes and my features were back to normal. I took one last look at Lavi, Lenalee, Kanda, Komui, Reever, Miranda, and Krory before stomping off; slamming the door harshly behind me.
'Master..'
"Leave me be...Kujo." I whispered, clutching the blade I kept hidden in my coat.
'If that is your wish.'
You stare at me with a disappointed smile,
'cause doing this makes life worthwhile...
I gripped the blade and slashed across my arm roughly and repeatedly, relishing in the feeling it gave me. Exhilerating.
You accepted this behavior, my moral is gone;
So from my body more blood is drawn.
The door is busted open and I'm surprised to see Kanda, off all people, standing before me with concerned eyes.
Although it's true that you may care
There's also loathing hidden deep in the air.
"Oi, Beansprout! What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me, taking the blade from me and throwing it to the corner.
Has it ever occurred, inside your mind
That this is how my life's defined?
"I though I told you my fucking name is Allen. Get it straight."
Reality is cruel and I'm constantly stressed,
And this is the time when my griefs are redressed.
I looked up at Kanda to find him gently cleaning the cuts, his eyes softening a bit.
And though deep down inside I know it is wrong,
there's no other choice but to just move along.
"Kanda?"
"What do you want?" He said coldly, though his actions betrayed the indifference he showed.
"Do you think I'm crazy?"
"Che." I smirked.
So please tell me to stop, it's not time to die;
You say it's okay and I know that's a lie.
And there you go! The newest installment of The Boundaries of Sanity!!
I have not yet decided whether to make this a yaoi or not, so please vote on that matter!!
Though if it makes I easier, I can make two separate stories: A yaoi version and a non-yaoi version~
Anyway; more updates coming soon! (Sooner than you think~)
Review? (They fuel my soul ^o^)
~Rai
P.S. I wrote the poem myself! It's based on the quote from earlier~