Beckett pushed through the doors into the morgue. Her best friend Lanie was waiting for her with a big hug.
" Hey, how's my girl doin'?" asked the ME, looking closely at Beckett's face for any signs. " Heard you had quite a day yesterday. Wanna talk about it?"
Beckett jumped up on one of the empty autopsy tables and started swinging her legs the way she always did when talking to her friend.
"Oh Lanie, I'm still trying to process everything myself. Rick and I experienced the most horrifying events together yesterday, and it has left me really confused. I mean, we were at death's door twice, and came back to tell about it. On top of it, Josh was there when we got out of that freezer. He didn't go to Haiti. He stayed for me. I had so much to think about, I almost called you last night."
"Why didn't you, Hon? You know you can call me any time. Sooo, what's got you thinking the most, and don't think I didn't notice you calling him Rick," she asked with a gleam in her eye.
" I don't know what to think. I'm together with a wonderful man in Josh. He's intelligent, good-looking, and he makes me feel good. I was really happy to see that he stayed for me. But he's not always there when I need him. Last night is another example. He was on shift in surgery all night. And I was alone, really alone. I almost called Rick, but…."
" Well why didn't you? Girl, you are going to have to come to your senses sooner or later. You must realize by now that you two are destined for each other, surely."
" I was thinking about it all night," said Beckett. " It wasn't just the two times yesterday, although that's what got me to thinking so much about it. He asked me yesterday, before I knew that Josh had stayed, what I felt about my relationship. I told him that what I really wanted was someone who could be there for me and I could be there for him and we could dive into it together. And you know, the more I thought about it, and especially after yesterday, I came to realize that there is always someone there for me, with me. What confuses me is that it's not Josh, but Rick. Lanie, we were in that freezer together, we didn't think we were going to make it out. We sat on the floor and he held me in his arms and comforted me. He was so worried that it was his fault that we were going to die, but I told him it just happened that way, that it wasn't his doing. We were so close, so intimate, and our feelings were so raw at that point. I think I even told him that I loved him, but I'm not sure. I was close to passing out from the cold. Then later, when we were standing next to the bomb, just seconds before it was to go off, and we knew that we weren't going to make it, he just grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye, and I could just see and feel the love that he had for me. For me, Lanie! It made me feel so completely calm. I didn't want to be anywhere else at that moment. I was with the only person in the world who I wanted with me. And then, at the last possible moment, he grabbed those wires and yanked them out and disabled the bomb. We were so stunned at first, then ecstatic. We hugged tightly, with relief, and I didn't want to let go. Lanie, I feel I have crossed into uncharted territory, and now I don't know what to do about it."
"Baby, I think you are answering your own question, don't you think? As long as I've known you, you've always had relationships with men with whom you've felt safe. Oh sure, you probably do love Josh. But he's not around that much, and you're not around that much. You don't have to fully commit. Suddenly with Castle, you see a much deeper connection, and you are unwilling to accept it, to go for it. You're right, this is uncharted territory for you, and you're afraid. Afraid to go out and see what's there. It's beyond your comfort zone. Kate, you need to decide whether he's worth a chance. You owe it to yourself. From where I sit, I see two people who are at the brink of the most beautiful, most wonderful feeling of all. True love, true commitment, trust in one another. The rest of us could only hope for the chance at something like that. Who was it that said 'the heart wants what the heart wants'?"
Beckett just sat there, legs no longer swinging. Then she hopped down, and went over and gave Lanie a big hug. "Thanks. I knew I could count on you. It's always so nice to talk to you. I got to go."
"What are you going to do about it?" asked Lanie, almost sternly.
"Rick and I are going out for dinner after work. I'll know once I've talked it over with him."
"Go for it, Kate, take a chance. This is the closest you will come to happiness, as I see it. Don't you dare disappoint me now, girl, you hear?" said the ME encouragingly.
"I'll let you know how it turns out," said Beckett as she swung through the doors and back to the elevator.
"You'd better," yelled Lanie down the hall after her.