Act I
Scene 1
Alex's eyes snapped open. She couldn't believe she had nodded off in the bus terminal. Worn out as she may be, it wasn't exactly a relaxing atmosphere, and her dreams, or rather nightmares, provided no comfort. Neither did the neon lights blaring down, creating an unnatural tone to everyone's skin, her own looking a pale yellow usually reserved for the sick. She began to wonder if she was really awake this time, or if she was still trapped in a nightmare. A buzz overheard signaling that an announcement was about to be given made her steel herself against what might be coming, the cold words from her dream still echoing in her head. She closed her eyes, and hoped for the best.
"Bus 10 to Ajax will now be departing at Platform D on the west side of the terminal. Please have your tickets ready. Thank you."
Breathing out a huge sigh of relief she grabbed her bag, and slowly stood up while stretching out her stiff back. Her body felt heavy and uncoordinated as she made her way to the platform. Platform A, B, C and finally D. It seemed like a long walk, each step harder to take knowing it was leading her further away from Paige. She pulled out the bunched up ticket from her jacket pocket and handed it to the bus driver who punched it unceremoniously, grimacing at how crumpled it was. Thankfully the bus wasn't very full, giving her a wide range of seats to chose from, all the while hoping she wouldn't end up having to share with anyone. The bus smelled musty and old, which made her scrunch up her nose as she tried not to make eye contact with the rest of the passengers.
She chose a seat towards the back on the right side, and slumped in next to the window as she set her bag down next to her on her left. I can't believe this is happening. I'm losing her all over again. I'm losing the only person I've ever really loved. Alex stared out the window while she waited for the bus to take off, a light mist starting to bleed against the glass. How could she? She said she'd help me, promised to be there for me, and she just threw me out. Ok, I screwed up, but she acted like she couldn't even understand where I was coming from. I thought she was supposed to be my friend, and yet she just turned her back on me like I didn't mean anything to her. I thought...I thought she loved me.
A single tear spilled down Alex's cheek as the bus roared to life, pulling out from the terminal and heading down the street towards her new life where she would have to try and start all over. Feeling more alone than she could ever remember, Alex begins to sing quietly and bitterly into the oncoming night.
"You'll never see the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lightsThe shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch
I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention
To you
You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie
You'll never touch these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown
To you
You'll say, 'Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems'
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie
You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention
To you
You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie"
The rain was coming down in sheets now, completely blurring the windows and creating a chill on the bus. Alex shivered in sadness and exhaustion, not fully noticing the drop in temperature. She was all consumed with her pain, thoughts of her last moments with Paige replaying in her mind over and over again, always hoping it would have a different outcome, always ending the same. Headlights of the passing cars streamed through the night like liquid colors flying past the bus. So many people, and yet Alex felt so alone. Ajax will be where I live, but it won't be my home. Not if she's not there. I guess this is just the way it has to be. My heart is gone.
She pressed her forehead against the cool glass. She wasn't sure if it was the rain, or her own tears that blurred her vision more. Ajax was coming up, and neither Alex or the city knew what to expect.
Song used in this scene:
Never is a Promise written and recorded by Fiona Apple