Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has followed this story. If you're reading this, that means a lot. If you're enjoying it, even better. As always reviews and feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated. If you love it, or you hate it, I want to know. Anything I can do to improve is great to know. So thank you, and enjoy.

Beca ran her fingers over the article again. Aubrey and Todd smiling back at her from one of their wedding photos. Local couple involved in fatal collision read the headline. It was depressing really, Beca wasn't sure why she kept reading it but she did. The clipping had been sitting on their coffee table for a while, ever since the funeral 3 weeks prior. Chloe threw the paper out, but Beca had retrieved it. It seemed like something important to keep. Next to it sat the obituary and funeral details which Beca had also taken out of the local paper.

The funeral had been especially tragic, at least Beca thought so, way more so than any of the ones she had attended for elderly relatives. That came with the territory of having your life tragically cut short at 26 Beca figured. The pained weeping of almost everyone in attendance was almost too much to bear. Mostly friends of the couple were in attendance as neither had much family. In fact it struck Beca how few people had been there for Todd. She knew he was an orphan, but she didn't expect that.

It was far too cruel to fathom really, Beca thought. Todd had spent his whole life longing for a family only to have his life and family ripped from him in the same tragic fashion that had cost him everything the first time. Killed by a drunk driver when he was just over a year old Aubrey had told her when she asked about Todd's family. His parents and his older sister died tragically, and with no extended family Todd was put into the system. The system never saw him end up with a permanent home or family, not until he met Aubrey.

It was funny really, Aubrey could have had her pick of any guy from any rich family that they went to college with, but instead she wanted Todd. This pissed off her father a great deal, but less than 3 months after meeting him Aubrey had told Beca and Chloe how head over heels in love she was with the guy she met at the soup kitchen. They were both volunteering there, him because he knew how it felt and her, admittedly mostly so she could include it on her resume. Aubrey's father hated that she married a, to quote him, "dirty street rat," but Beca wasn't surprised. He was sweet, funny, treated her well and had the most gorgeous smile and green eyes. Everything Aubrey had never found in any of the rich guys from Barden, and everything she deserved according to Chloe. A good man who made something of himself despite the shitty hand he'd been dealt early in life. Beca thought a guy like that deserved way more people at his funeral, but there was nothing she could do about it, at least she was there.

Chloe calling her name jerked her from her thoughts; she put the clipping back down on the table and made her way to the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"Can you take her? I'm going to start dinner."

"I actually have some stuff I need to do…" Beca started, but was cut off by the glare being shot at her from bright blue eyes. "Yeah sure, I'll take her into the living room."

Beca grabbed Bridget from Chloe's arms and brought the 10 month old into their living room. Chloe insisted that one of them be with her at all times. She didn't want them to just shove her into a playpen or something and ignore her. She had already lost her parents, she needed them. The first few days after the accident Beca thought she would never stop crying, but slowly but surely she was adjusting. It must suck Beca thought, to have something so traumatizing happen to you and to not be able to verbalize your thoughts. She wasn't sure babies had deep thoughts, but it certainly couldn't be pleasant to all of the sudden be missing your mother. Chloe wanted her adjustment to go as smooth as possible and strongly felt being with her and spending time with her was the best way of doing that.

She just sat with her for a while on her lap, staring. Babies were difficult and not particularly interesting, this Beca already knew but it had been confirmed for her when Bridget came to live with them. People always talk about how worth it all the crap is, but Beca couldn't say she felt that way. Chloe though, Chloe didn't care. Bridget could cry all night and Chloe would gladly get up and rock her. She could spit up on all of Chloe's clothes, it didn't matter. To Chloe, it was worth it. Not worth it though, was all the tension between herself and Beca.

Every night saw Beca complaining about not being able to work in peace and quiet, not be able to watch TV loudly after 8, and just generally having a life that now revolved around a baby. It wasn't that she didn't like Bridget, she loved the little girl, even before this. It's just that as she and Chloe had discussed multiple times in the past few years, she just wasn't ready for kids. When Chloe asked her when she would be, she couldn't say. It's not really something you can predict Beca thought, and just because their circumstances had changed, doesn't mean her feelings had.

The two women ate in silence that evening, only broken by the soft coos of Bridget who was sitting in her highchair, sucking on her fingers. It killed Beca that she and Chloe didn't talk like they used to. Dinner used to mean amusing conversation about their day. When they did talk, Chloe mostly talked about Bridget, which frustrated Beca. That was what her days consisted of though now, taking care of Bridget. Chloe had taken a sabbatical from work to care for the little girl. She owed it to Aubrey, at least that was her response to all of Beca's protests.

"Umm, Beca, can I talk to you about something and you promise you won't get mad?" Chloe asked as she scraped her plate into the garbage.

It saddened Beca to hear how tentative her girlfriend's voice was, how sad. She used to always just blurt out anything that was on her mind. Beca softened the expression on her face, and took a deep breath before answering.

"I promise I'll listen," she replied.

"Well…" the red head hesitated for a moment before launching right into the crux of her speech, "the lawyer sent over the paperwork. Aubrey and Todd appointed us the legal guardians of Bridget in their wills but we have to accept and sign some stuff to make it official."

Beca sighed, this was so not what she expected and this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have. She couldn't believe it when Chloe told her that Aubrey and Todd had appointed them both to be legal guardians of Bridget. She had figured Chloe would be named, but she couldn't fathom Aubrey actually wanting to take care of her child. Like Chloe, she must have thought the situation would never actually arise anyway. Still though, she had done it and now Beca needed to face the music.

"Why isn't Aubrey's father taking her again?" Beca said, knowing it was ridiculous the moment she said it.

Chloe gave her a sad look, "Beca you know exactly why. Besides the fact that he's older and way too busy, he also wasn't even a good father the first time around. Not to mention the fact that he called her husband a loser multiple times and I doubt he would have accepted even if Aubrey had chosen him. She didn't though Beca, she chose us because she knew we could do it."

Beca didn't respond. She just sat for a moment, absorbing Chloe's words or just avoiding them, she didn't know.

"What if I can't."

"Beca, you can, you'll get used to it. Its only going to get better from here, she won't be little forever. She's not going to cry forever. You can do this, we can do this," Chloe grabbed her girlfriend's hands as she said the last words.

Beca sighed, "what if I don't want to?" She said it so quietly it was barely audible, and the words shocked even Beca herself.

"I can't…I won't force you to do anything Beca, but you know I have to do it, and want to." Chloe's voice was even, not angry, not even sad, but the look in her eyes said everything Beca needed to know. She was heartbroken. She had lost her best friend in the entire world, and now she was losing Beca.

Beca released herself from the other woman's grip and stood up. "I'm going to go stay with my dad and Sheila…for a few days," she added the last part, but she wasn't sure if that was the truth. She was going to stay there for a few days, but she might need to find somewhere else to stay after that. She couldn't expect to continue living with Chloe and not help her out with Bridget. More so though she was afraid she couldn't expect Chloe to continue wanting to live with her if she didn't want to raise Bridget with her. Sadder still she didn't think she could expect Chloe to continuing loving her.

"Beca" Chloe called after her, but Beca was already in their bedroom, trying to find a bag to pack.

"Beca, stop, please," tears rolled down the red head's face. Beca couldn't bear to turn around and see the pain in her girlfriend's eyes. To be the cause of that pain was worse than anything Beca could imagine. She roughly threw t-shits and jeans into the bag in an effort to remove herself from the situation faster.

"Beca, please…" Chloe's voice was broken, the most horrible sound Beca had ever heard.

Beca stopped packing momentarily and turned to face her beloved. She put her hands on the other woman's cheeks and wiped away the tears that were staining her beautiful face. She kissed her lips, gently at first, but then harder. If this was the last kiss they were ever going to have, Beca wanted to remember it, she wanted to be able to feel it when she could no longer be with her.

"Chloe I'm so sorry. I wish I thought I could do this. I wish I was ready. I thought I had a few more years to try and be ready for a kid. I know you never could have predicted this, I know you didn't want it to happen. The sad reality though is it has happened and I know, I know you need to care for Bridget, I know you want to, but I can't."

Beca's own face was now stained with tears. She had been with Chloe for going on six years and she never imagined saying goodbye to her. She could stay and try and stick it out, but that wasn't fair to Chloe and more so, it wasn't fair to Bridget. Bridget needed someone who loved her beyond compare, someone who wanted to be there for her, and give her all the love in the world. Bridget needed Chloe, she needed someone as close as humanly possible to her own mother and if there was anyone who would love Bridget as much as Aubrey, it was Chloe.

The defeat in Chloe's voice was heartbreaking, "I'll tell the lawyer."

Beca grabbed her bag off of their bed and made her way towards the door. As she walked through the kitchen Bridget was still sitting in her highchair, content. Beca walked up to the small child, observing her for a moment longer. Before turning to leave she leaned down to place a kiss on her blonde head. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

She sat in her car in the driveway for what felt like hours. Chloe never came out, she had said all she could say, there was obviously no changing Beca's mind. Finally as the day's sun faded Beca started the car and began driving. She didn't drive straight to her father's house; she meant to but instead found herself turning onto the road that lead to her and Chloe's favourite park. Once she arrived Beca got out of the car and sat under the nearest tree. It wasn't comforting really, to be in a place that Chloe loved so much, but still Beca stayed. She sat under the tree, crying. The tears overwhelmed her, clouding her vision and making it hard to breathe. Still though, she sat.

When she finally arrived at her father's house it was past midnight. She waited until she collected herself to show up. The last thing she wanted to do tonight was to have to offer more explanation than absolutely necessary. She had no more tears to cry and she certainly didn't want to cry in front of her father and Shelia.

"Beca, sweetheart, its after midnight, are you okay? What are you doing here?" Shelia's voice was gentle, and not nearly as perturbed as Beca would expect when someone shows up unannounced so late at night.

"I…I…I, I just need to crash here," was all she could muster. She couldn't bring herself to say she'd left Chloe, and Bridget, and she wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

Without another word Shelia took her bag and led her to the guest room. Apparently the next day was her day off, she told Beca they could sit and talk then. Not that she wanted to talk to Shelia, but she would have to explain herself. Last Shelia and her father knew she and Chloe were in a solid, happy relationship and enjoyed living together. She had even mentioned the possibility that they would get married sometime soon to her father, who the idea delighted. Walking out on them and showing up in the middle of the night; that would definitely have to be explained. At least she wouldn't have to do it right this moment.

Beca slipped off her jeans and slid into the guest bed. It was hard and not even close to being as warm as the bed she shared with Chloe. How could it be, all of the warmth and comfort in Beca's life came from Chloe. Sleeping alone, that would definitely be difficult for Beca to adjust to. She would have to though, this was her decision, she needed to do this. She couldn't jump into something she wasn't ready for, something as big as parenthood just to save her relationship.

She looked at her phone, it was now past 1; fortunately for Beca she didn't have work the next day. She hovered over the messing icon for a few moments before tapping it. I love you she typed out. She had said I love you to Chloe every night for almost six years, it felt incredibly sad to feel she couldn't tonight. She didn't hit send, she couldn't hit send. You can't leave someone and then tell them you love them. If she loved her enough, she wouldn't have left. That was probably what Chloe was thinking right now. Beca threw the phone down onto the floor with no regard for its value, intrinsic or otherwise. She grabbed a pillow from the other side of the bed, covering her head with it. There was nothing she could do to stop the thoughts running through her head, or the emotions weighing on her heart. Still though, she attempted to sleep. She tossed and turned for hours before finally settling. Perhaps her emotions or were spent or maybe her body just couldn't handle anymore; either way Beca was thankful for sleep's embrace.