Author Commentary: I don't really have much to say other than… TELEPATHY! (FYI: when something is underlined it is telepathy).

Rating: M

Warnings: Mpreg, yaoi/shonen-ai

Disclaimer: I do not own The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod.

I felt like I was going to die. There I was, sitting at my desk in English, my arms making an "x" across my stomach. I was leaned forward, my face four inches above my desktop.

The pain in my stomach was a horrid, stab-like feeling. The pain was so terrible, I had know idea what my teacher, Mister McKeenan, was saying.

I groaned, louder than I had intended to.

McKeenan pointed at me. "Vladimir Tod! What play does the quote I just said come from?"

The abdominal pain was so intense, it caused my body to quake and my teeth to chatter. "I-I d-did n-not h-he-hear w-wh-what y-yo-you s-sa-sai-said."

A quiet chuckle began spreading through the room.

Mr. McKeenan sighed and repeated himself: "And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

I tried my hardest to control my chattering teeth. "H-Ha-Ham-Hamlet."

"Mister McKeenan!" Tom, who sat behind me, screamed right into my eat. "Is 'H-Ha-Ham-Hamlet' the same as 'Hamlet' because I really wanna know."

Everyone in the room burst into a fit of laughter. By everyone, I mean everyone. Even my teacher, the supposedly 'mature' one.

Mr. McKeenan managed to get himself under control. "May I remind you all that this is ninth grade English, not first grade recess!"

I suddenly thought to myself, "Mine and Henry's spawn, are you trying to kill me?"

"No." A small voiced replied. It was not from anyone in the room. "And do not call me 'spawn', Momma."

I was obviously alarmed. "WTF are you?'

"I am your's and Henry's baby!"

My eyes widened and I accidentally said out loud: "WTF?"

As my English teacher prepared to lecture me on using inappropriate acronyms in class, I slid out of my seat and fainted.

Thirty Minutes Later…

I woke up on a blue cot, in the sick room, Henry staring over me.

"You're awake!" He began bouncing up and down.

I sat up and clutched the front of his shirt. "Did you call Nelly?"

"Well… yeah." Henry looked at me stupidly. "She's gonna pick us up in five minutes."

I sighed and released my grip on his shirt. I laid back down. "Thank God."

Henry smiled at me. He then took his thumb, index finger, and middle finger and squeezed part of my stomach directly above my navel. "How's mah bay-bay?" Henry always tried to sound ghetto… it was annoying.

"Friggn' cracker." I slapped him on the side of the face. "And, um… it kinda talked to me."

Henry gave me a look that screamed "shut up!"

"I'm serious!" I cried. "It was telepathically!"

Henry's face wore a broad grin. His eyes darted to my stomach. "Ehmahgawd! It speaks!" He pressed his ear to my slightly round belly. "Say something about Daddy!"

"This is my dad?" Spawn asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. He's really weird."

"I think he's pretty cool, actually."

I glared at Henry. "He thinks you're cool."

"My kid is amazing!" Henry cried, falling backward.

Nelly was staring down at him. "What?"

Henry gasped in horror. "Hey Nelly!"

"What child are you talking about?" Nelly demanded.

I stood up from the cot. "Aunt Nelly, I'll explain when we get home."