Omi's File
Part 2
"Um… Youji?"
"Yes?"
"Who is Risa?"
Youji stared at the apparently talking bathroom door. Then he remembered. Bill Gates was throwing a party in the toilet. No, that can't be right. Barney was giving Godzilla the shower for its birthday? No…
It was one of those million-to-one chances… Omi stuffing his bra in the bathroom? Ah, that was it. Yes. Apparently, Omi was going to be Youji's date for a fancy party tonight, and if you don't know why, you obviously haven't paid attention to the last chapter and need to wake up and smell the cigarette smoke.
[Right, isn't this a wonderful beginning? Oh My Gosh! We forgot the disclaimer!]
{How stupid of us! Okay, here we go…}
[Weiss Kreuz is a copyright of Media Blasters I think over here in the US… and we're getting the subtitled tapes in ::holds up two fingers:: two days because I was smart and preordered a copy on Amazon.com… under Search: Weiss Kreuz… anyway, we don't own *deep breath* Weiss Kreuz, the word Weiss, the word Kreuz, Schwarz, Schwartz, or any other misspellings and mutilation of the words, the words Schwarz and all other words unless they are unique and have been invented like odderity, Aya (wahh!), Ken (T-T), Youji (wahh!), Omi…]
{WAHHH!}
[…Schuldich (double wahh!), Farfie (*sob*), Nagi…]
{*Sniffle sob cry*}
[… Crawford (wah… well that's okay...), Taketori, bananas (well, maybe a few in the fruit bowl), penguins, silk black bras, Youji's "drag", Ronald McDonald, Pikachu, Rome, Amazon.com, Media Blasters, Anime in general, soccer balls (except for my beautiful orange one), *gasp*…]
{Weird Al CDs...}
[…I own some Weird Al CDs… dragons, sharp pointy objects (they won't give e any here in my wonderful padded cell...), diaries… Bill Gates, Barney, Godzilla… heck, this is taking a long time... how about we tell you the things we do own featured here… we own Risa, her giant makeup suitcase ::sweatdrop::, the rabid fruitfly named Dag…]
{Where did that come from?}
[…I really don't know… and if we think of anything else we'll tell you when we think of it... long disclaimer, huh?]
{YES. Now on with the fic!}
"Risa is my girlfriend. She's coming right over to do your makeup."
"NO!"
Ding-Dong!
"Here she is."
Youji trotted to the door and opened it, a big smile on his face. "Risa—oh. Sorry. No, I do not wish to buy a vacuum… yes, ours works just fine… no, we don't want the special "6 foot blonde florist with a girlie haircut" discount… no. Nope. Nuh-uh. Good bye."
SLAM!
Youji started to walk away from the door when—
DING-DONG!
--he wheeled around and opened the door, smiled, and said...
"Ri—NO I DO NOT WANTED TO BECOME A JEHOVA'S WITNESS. GOOD BYE."
SLAM!
Youji glared at the door, daring the doorbell to ring again.
It did.
DING-DONG!
He grinned weakly and swung open the door.
"R—no I DON'T want the new 'Hoover 2000'! No, ours doesn't have the dual Air-Freshener Solar Powered Pillow Fluffer option. We don't need it. GOOD-BYE."
SLAM!
DING-DONG-DING-DO—DING-DO—DING-DONGGG!
Youji stared at the door and concluded he wasn't going to open it.
DIIIIIIIING-DOOOOOOONG DING-DONG-DING-DONG-DING-DONGGGGGGG!
He opened it.
"What d—oh. Hello."
The flower groupies,
"No. I'm not free tonight. I'm going to a party. No, I already have a date. Never mind who, just—no, they're not free tonight either. They just AREN'T. Omi? He's coming to the party tonight too. He already HAS a date. What do you mean, he never goes out with a girl? ME?! You yaoi freaks, go away!"
SLAM!
He turned away—
DING-DONG!
-and turned right back.
"Hello. No, I already told you I do NOT want a friggin' vacuum cleaner! YES I'M SURE! I don't WANT the Pillow Powered Dual Solar Air Freshener Fluffer! I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
SLAM!
DING-DONG!
"AAAAAAAAAAAARGGG!"
He opened the door, a glare that rivaled even Aya's glare of doom on his face.
"WHAT?"
"Um… Mister, wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies? Um… please?"
"NO. I AM ON A STRICT SUGAR FREE DIET. GO AWAY!"
"Um… that pockey you have… has sugar in it… sir…"
"GO AWAY!"
"…okay…"
SLAM!
DING-DONG!
He swung the door open and glared for all his was worth.
"FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT WANT A VACUUM- Hi Risa!"
The sounds of a head hitting porcelain came from the door, followed by "Itaiiiiiiii…"
[?]
{^.^ Toilets are porcelain.}
[Ah.]
The figure framed in the door rubbed her ears.
"Hi, Yo-tan. Sooo… where is the young woman in need of a makeover?"
[::facefault:: Right…]
A snort came from the bathroom door. "Young woman? Youji, what did you tell her?"
Risa glanced at the bathroom door. "What's she doing?"
Youji grinned and snickered evilly.
"Who said Omi was a girl? He's stuffing his bra. Omi, it doesn't take a half-hour the stuff a bra with tissues. Get out of there. I want Risa to see just what she has to work with."
"B-but…"
"OUT. NOW."
"Eep."
The bathroom door clicked, and out shuffled…
Youji smothered a gasp. Omi was actually… ATTRACTIVE. Risa raised an eyebrow. "A guy? Why in the world am I giving a guy a makeover? And why does he have chibi-eyes?"
"In order: Yes, Omi is a guy. He is my date tonight. And God only knows why he has chibi-eyes."
"Wait. Go back. 'Date'?"
"Long story. Just for tonight, and I am NOT planning on a long-term relation-ship."
[Thank God]
{::snigger:: It gets better.}
[Oh Lord…]
Risa glanced at Omi. "Spill."
"No."
"Why?"
"Its confidential."
"Fine. Don't ask for anything for a week."
"What?!"
"You heard me."
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
"Life's not fair, Yo-tan."
"But…"
"2 weeks."
Youji shut his trap.
Omi patted Youji on the back.
"Don't worry, Youji-kun, you'll always have meeeeeee…"
Youji's eyes widened. He jumped to his feet and ran as far away from Omi as he could.
"YOU… YOU'RE…"
Omi was doubled over in hysterical laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA… YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE… HAHAHAHAHAHA… Do you really think I LIKE you? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
[That was mean!]
{…and you're complaining}
[No. I'm just making it clear to the readers how fun being evil fanfiction authors is.]
{Oh. Okay then!}
Youji scowled. "I still don't trust you."
"You did before?"
"…"
Risa coughed and looked at Omi.
"Now, lets get started."
Omi groaned.
~*.^TO BE CONTINUED^.*~
[How creative.]
{::in fits of utter laughter:: HAHAHAHA… can't breathe... HAHAHAHA..}
[What happened?]
{INSPRATION!HAHAHAHAHAHA.. must think of boring things… HAHAHAHA}
[Bradley Crawford after watching a documentary on the reproductive cycle of sheep!]
{HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… can't BREATHE! HAHAHAHA!}
[Watching Aya's comatose sister act like an old piece of tofu?]
{YOU'RE NOT HELPING!}
[… ::lightbulb:: YOU SHUT UP OR I SHALL SLICE OFF YOUR HEAD WITH A RUSTY CAN OPENER!]
{::immediantly stops laughing::}
[There we go.]
{...old tofu…what exactly is tofu, anyway?}
[Sheep brains? I don't know… health food crap. Anyway…]
{I think we'll have to continue this later…}
[Why?]
{This diskette doesn't have much memory…}
[Oh.]