Jim Moriarty made quite the interesting sight standing behind the cafeteria counter in his apron, hairnet, and maniacal grin. The few unlucky students who hadn't brought a lunch timidly approached him.
"Well, well, look at what we have here." Moriarty peered shrewdly at them over the counter. "Sebastian! We have visitors!" He yelled in a sing-song voice. A second later another man appeared, also wearing an apron and hairnet, though lacking the grin.
One brave boy ventured to ask "uh, could I get some mashed potatoes, please?"
"Mashed potatoes?" Moriarty replied. "How sure are you it's not mashed Sherlock Holmes?" He and Sebastian both started laughing uproariously as the student stared at them in confusion. Just as suddenly as he had started, Moriartly abruptly stopped laughing. Looking at the boy he said slowly, dangerously, "what if I mashed you into them?"
Now completely horrified, and more than a little frightened, the boy backed away slowly, then started running as far away from the madman as he could get.
Calling after him, Moriarty screamed "But wait! Wouldn't you like fries with that? Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!"