Chapter 1
Gripping the handle so tight that my palms begin to sweat, I lean my weight forward, propelling the trolley toward the brick wall as fast as I can. It is my sixth year doing so but it's always going to be a bit scary running face first into a wall. So, I close my eyes as I draw within 10 feet of the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10 at King's Cross Station.
As I push through the gate I have to stop abruptly as I nearly run into a short, chubby Gryffindor waiting just inside the gate.
"Hello, Lily." Says Peter Pettigrew, one of the four annoying Marauders. I really don't get them. They don't fit together. Peter fits in the least. He's quite, shy and can actually be kind of sweet. He's short and a little larger around the middle, if you know what I mean. He has mouse brown hair that looks as though it's been cut by a mother while her child is withering away from the scissors. I know him the least of all the four trouble-makers but he doesn't seem to be the one pulling the pranks very often. He's usually on the side-line leading the crowd in cheering and laughter.
"Hey, Peter," I reply in greeting as I push past him, moving father onto the platform full of children trying to escape they're parents embrace to join they're friends on the train. "You really shouldn't stand so close to the gate, someone might run into you, you could get hurt."
He shrugs as he waddles along behind me as he begins digging through his pocket, searching for something. "Well, I was waiting for you, actually." He finds what he's looking for in his pocket, which is a neatly folded piece of parchment, and holds it out to me but I refuse to take, I already know what words will be printed on the inside in messy hand writing, handwriting as messy as the jet black hair of the boy who had instructed his friend to deliver it to me.
"Tell him I said 'no, not a chance'!" I say, pushing my cart farther into the crowd.
"Well, that's more of an answer than usual!" I freeze where I am, turning around only to find myself looking up into the face of none other than James Potter. How does he do that? Appear in the exact place you don't want him without notice. Probably the reason why he was chosen to be the leader of his little exclusive club called the Marauders.
They think they're so cool and so does pretty much everyone else. They even have stupid nicknames for each other like 'Padfoot', 'Prongs', 'Wormtail' and 'Mooney'. Stupid, just like Potter himself. He's got jet black hair that sticks up in the back in a stupid way. He's always messing his hair up even more than it normally is, in Quinn's words; it's considered 'hot'. Yeah, ok, sure. Anyway, his has hazel eyes that are magnified by large glasses that Cassidy says makes him 'even more desirable than he already is!' Definitely, if you're just as stupid as he is. He's also extremely full of himself. 'OH! I'm the most popular guy in school!', 'Every girl in the whole world drools over me!', 'I'm the best Quidditch player in the universe!'. Bragger much? I mean-
"Well, I'd say this is our year, girly-girl," he grabs my hand and twirls me around like a small toy until my arms are crossed in front of me, my back to him, like my dad used to do to me when I was little. "You know, now that Snivillus and you broke up and everything." He whispers into my ear with a wicked grin.
"Sev- I mean, Snape and I were never dating," I said angrily, ripping one of my hands out of his grasp and trying to pulling away but his strong arms pulled me back in so that were face to face and way too close for comfort. "And could you please let go of me please."
"Awh, your no fun, girly-girl," He says letting go of me while reaching back to mess up his already insanely messy hair as I quickly push my cart away. "You could at least humor me."
"No," I stop my cart and start trying to load my heavy trunk onto the train. "And don't call me girly-girl." Potter grabs the trunk out of my arms and loads it onto the train with ease, making it look as though the thing weighed nothing. Show off.
"I don't need your help, either." I say, lifting a small bag that contained my robes, a book and a lunch for the train. He grabbed the bag out of my arms, grabbed my trolley.
"Your just so helpless, Evans!" He calls over his shoulder as he turns and walks away to return it.
"I'm not helpless," I call after him, turning bright red. I can hear him laugh as he disappears with my trolley and bag. "Give me back my bag, Potter, I need it!"
I start to push my way through the crowd but he's already back, trolley-less and looking like an idiot with a brightly colored bag slung over his shoulder. "Helpless," He says with a smile. He places two hands on my shoulders and starts to steer me back towards the bright red train. "So, how was your summer, Evans?"
"Why should I tell you?" I say coldly as I try to pry his hands off my shoulders.
"Because I want to know." He replies with a laugh at my unrewarding efforts to escape his grasp.
"No you don't, you're just trying to annoy me." I say, managing to break free of his death hold on my shoulders and turning around to retrieve my bag.
"Yes I do, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care, that's a waste of breath, Evans." He says, holding my bag high above my head so that it's just out of my reach.
"Then you just shouldn't say anything, seeing as everything that comes out of your mouth is a waste of breath, Potter," I say angrily, squinting at him through the haze of the platform. "Give me my bag, the trains about to leave and I need to find Caroline!"
"So how was your summer, Evans?" He says, dodging my dive for the bag and hopping onto the train.
"Potter…" I say warningly as I climb onto the train after him.
"Well, Evans? Tell me and maybe I'll return this." He says swinging my bag in my face.
"Why do you care so much about how my summer was?" I say, extremely annoyed now, as he pulls the bag just out of my reach again.
"Maybe I was worried, Evans," He says. I stare into his hazel eyes, they look almost truthful but you can never trust anything a Marauders' says and there is no way I will ever believe that Potter was worried about me. "You know, this being your first summer without Snivillus and all."
"I was fine without Severus- I mean Snape, I don't need him," Potter smiled at that. "And there's no way you were worried, you only think about yourself."
He dropped my bag to the floor and turned away quickly, his smile gone just as fast as it had appeared. "See you at school, Evans." He mumbled before walking away, without looking back. I felt a little bad, I had probably hurt his feelings. I guess I probably should have been more considerate about picking my words. I should probably apologize later. I shook myself, taking a deep breath. What was I thinking? I don't give a damn how Potter feels. I snatched at my bag and at that moment the train began to move, I almost fell and tried to catch my balance by grabbing the handle of a near my compartment which slid open to reveal a group of Slytherin boys, one of who just happened to non-other than Severus Snape, who had obviously been listening to our conversation. I didn't say anything as the greasy dark haired boy stood quietly and exited the compartment, walking away with his head down in the same direction as Potter.
"Whos's that?" asked a smaller boy who look like a first year. Another boy who appeared to be his older brother replied, "Just some Mudblood scum."
I almost said something rude because I could tell the boy had said it loud enough for me to hear on purpose but instead I apologized and closed their door. I started walking down the train corridor looking for Caroline through compartment windows. As I was walking, I decided that all guys are like teenage girls on their periods. Potter and his mood swings going from confident too shy to happy to depressed in a matter of seconds. Snape is just over reacting. If he had just decided not to talk to me unless necessary, I would have been fine with that it would have made me feel a lot less awkward about the end of friendship. But instead he has to pointedly ignore me.
"Lily!" I turn around to see Remus Lupin running toward me with a hurried look on his face. Remus is another one of the Marauders. I probably like him the most out of the four. He's kind and is usually trying to control Potter and Black. He's got brownish hair, he's rather skinny and he's always got a new cut on his face, I've never figured out why though I know him the best out of the Marauders. We're Prefects together so I got to talk to him a lot during patrols of the corridors last year.
"Oh, Merlin," I cried suddenly remembering. "We have a Prefects meeting don't we?"
"Yeah," he said breathlessly as I dug through my bag for my badge like the one pinned to Remus' shirt. "I was helping Sirius with something…"
"You're going to need to stop participating in those stupid Marauders pranks if you really want to be a Prefect." I said sternly as I pinned the badge to my chest.
"Why?" He said with a grin.
"Because if your caught-"
"But Lily," he said as we started in the direction of the meeting. "I'm not going to be caught."
"I think your forgetting who our Head Master is…" I said determined to prove my point. "Professor Dumbledore is going to figure out it's always you guys sooner or later. Actually, there's a good chance he already knows."
"And he still made me Prefect," he pointed out. "Besides, our pranks are always harmless and we're responsible and clean up after ourselves."
"That's not true what so ever and you know it," I rolled my eyes. Remus may be the most mature of the four boys but a Marauder is a Marauder. "Wait, what were you helping Black with?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you." Remus sighed, checking his watch and then picking up our pace.
"Should I be worried?" I asked, feeling a slight crease form between my eyebrows.
"Like I said, our pranks are always harmless." I let out a long sigh as he opened the door to large compartment where most of the Prefects were already waiting, excluding the 6th year Slytherins as wells as the 5th year Gryffindor girl. We took our seats next to the rest of the Gryffindor Prefects. Almost as soon as we took our seats, the door slide open again to admit the Head Girl, a pretty Slytherin girl whose name I believe is something like Ally or Elli, and the Head Boy, a short, skinny boy with dark brown hair.
"Who are we waiting for?" asked Ally/Elli as she served the nearly full compartment with scarily blue eyes.
"Two Slytherins' and a Gryffindor, I believe." replied the boy, whose voice was surprisingly deep. Ally/Elli let out a little groan, obviously annoyed with the absence of two of her housemates.
"Figure out who they are, Andrews, I have a headache." She said, shooing a 5th year Hufflepuff to a different seat so that she could sit down and massage her temple. "Andrews" didn't seem to mind and obediently conjured up a clipboard with a sheet of parchment clipped to it that appeared to be a list of the Prefects.
"Jessie Woodwill?" he called.
"Here!" chimed the little Hufflepuff who had just moved to allow Ally/Elli to take her seat.
"Aaron Anderson?"
"Here." Said the 5th year male Hufflepuff, with a slight raise of the hand. And so the Head boy continued to rattle off the names of all of the Prefects by year. It was not until he had reached the 7th years that the door slid open once again to reveal the two missing Slytherins who took their seats quietly, ignoring the hiss of annoyance from their Head Girl. Moments later it was slammed open by a short girl in Gryffindor robes, who apologized loudly before taking her seat in embarrassment next to the 5th year Gryffindor boy.
"Well, it looks like we can begin now," said the Head boy, the list had disappeared with a tap of his wand. "I'm Joey Andrews, Head Boy."
"And I'm Jessica Gayle," said the Head Girl, it appears I was rather off on her name. "I'm Head Girl and I want to get this over with quickly, so no questions till I'm done talking, okay?"
She took a deep breath before beginning a long explanation of all the Prefect duties, responsibilities and privileges. She explained our corridor patrolling schedules and gave us password to the Prefects bathroom.
"We'll have another meeting sometime soon, after everyone's used to their schedules and all." She finished looking over to Joey Andrews for anything she'd forgotten. He conjured up another sheet and four bowls. He pointed to the sheet and explained: "You guys will be patrolling the train, don't forget to check your time before you leave. You will always patrol with the other person in your house and year."
"Right," said Jessica Gayle, she then pointed to the four bowls. "These contain the common room passwords. Take one slip from the colored bowl corresponding to your house."
"That is all." Says the Head Boy while opening the compartment door. I stand quickly because I still need to find Caroline before our patrol. We're 4th so I have about two hours before having to meet up with Remus. I grab a slip before exciting the compartment. Remus and I agree to meet back here 5 minutes before our shift. He goes back to find the other Marauders while I start my search for Caroline. I'm walking down the train peering into every window with little success when I hear the sound of small feet running at me from behind. Turning around to yell at someone for running but instead I'm tackled and almost knocked off my feet.
"Lily!" a small girl with crazy orange hair stares up at me with huge brown eyes and a huge smile on her face.
"Hey, Lily." I look up to see a blonde, blue eyed girl walking down the hallway with a wave.
"Hi, Quinn. Can you remove Cassidy please?" I ask as I wrestle with the rote iron grip of the sixteen year old girl who is currently clinging to my body.
"Cassidy," Quinn says calmly. "Tell Lily what you found out."
Cassidy backed away, her face dropping. I looked between the two girls, they both looked rather down, totally different from their usual happy, spastic selves.
"What?" I asked, I could hear the worry in my voice, I couldn't control it. The last time I had seen Cassidy looking the tiniest bit upset was when she didn't get the present she want from her parents for Christmas last year. She got over that in seconds. But here she stands before me, biting her lip and looking between the floor, me and Quinn.
"You said you wanted to tell her, right?" Quinn asked, raising an eyebrow in her direction.
"Well, yeah, it's just…" she looked in my direction, then back at Quinn with a slight frown. "You know how Lily reacts when it comes to-"
"Wait," I said holding up my hands, rather upset now. "This about Potter, isn't it?"
"I guess, but can you just listen, Lily?" Quinn asked pleadingly.
"What do you mean by 'I guess'?" I asked. "Is this about him or isn't it? Because if it is I don't want to hear it!"
"Calm down, Lily…" Cassidy said quietly.
"It's about you and James and-" Quinn started
"And James! Honestly, he is seriously all you guys ever talk about!" I exclaimed. "Potter this, Potter that, he's hot and how I have to date him because in your opinion he's-"
"LILY!" Quinn yelled, I shut up, she sounded really angry and I had probably said some things I shouldn't have. "Cassidy heard from Sirius that James' dad died over the summer, okay? I know you don't like talking about him but we really thought you ought to know! This might surprise you but, yeah, James has feelings and he's really cut up about this… His dad was like a fifth Marauders. He was a prankster at Hogwarts, an Auror and a role model to him. He's an only child so him and his parents are really close, especially his dad-"
"Quinn…" Cassidy said grabbing the sleeve of Quinn's shirt.
"Shut up Cassidy, let me finish," Cassidy's eyes widen a second but she dropped Quinn's sleeve and allowed her to continue, calmer this time. "We thought you should know because even though you think James is just trying to annoy you and doesn't really care for you-"
"Quinn!" Cassidy cut in again, then she continued for her. "We saw you guys out on the Platform and we realized that he felt better around you. The Marauders won't be the same if-"
"Good." I said stiffly.
"You're really thick, Lily, really." She grabbed the back of Cassidy's shirt and dragged her away. That stung. I stood there for a while. Just standing, in complete shock, not really sure what to think. So I opened the door next to me which just happened to open into a storage compartment. I sat on one of the trunks and tried to think through what had just happened. I just have to sort this out, think.
Okay, Lily. Potter's dad died. He died and even though I hate him I have to feel bad. I do feel bad! What if my father died? How would I feel? How would Potter feel? No, wait, can't answer that question. Alright, what did Cassidy say? Something about me and him on the Platform and him looking happy? Well, yeah, because he enjoys annoying me. But what did Quinn say before that? Even though you think James is just trying to annoy you… Think? He is! I know he is! That why he seemed happy, he was annoying me. That's just in his nature! He's self-centered, arrogant and probably a sadist. But then earlier, when I told him he only thinks about himself. His reaction, he acted hurt. Like what Quinn said, this may surprise you but, yeah, James has feelings, and, you're really thick, Lily, really. What does that even mean? And how can she turn me into the bad guy? Am I? I mean, his dad died. And I didn't even notice he was feeling down, so I guess I can see what Quinn meant by me acting thick. Unless I'm right and Potter actually doesn't have feelings. But there I go sounding mean and sort of proving Quinn's point to myself. Now I feel like I'm thinking to into this.
Okay, what were Cassidy and Quinn trying to tell me? Potter's father died. Why were they telling me this? Because they think I make Potter feel better. Seriously, why do I care of Potter's happy or not? Without him as their leader, the Marauders will just fall apart, right? My world would be so much easier and happier if they weren't together causing trouble all the time and James would be off by himself depressed, not bothering me. That sounds really selfish. Am I thick? Selfish? Mean? If I am I'm probably worse than Potter. Did I just say that?!
I come out of a sort of a daze; I realize I'm crying out of frustration. My knuckles white from tight fists. Looking at my palms I see bloody cuts where I dug my finger nails into my skin. I was thinking hard and long so I feel like I'm about to pass out from using my brain so much. But I still haven't figured out why and what I'm going to do about it. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
Why? Why did Cassidy and Quinn feel the need to tell me this? It's not because they wanted to get the point across that I'm a terrible person because that seems to be what I keep circling back to. It's because they want me to help Potter. To make sure he's alright. To comfort him, to console him because I'm the only person who can do it. Now the question is, will I? I really do sound like an asshole to consider letting the group of friends become a depressed wreck. So the answers simple; help Potter.
"Lily!" I look up; my eyes feel puffy and sore from crying before. "What is your problem? I've been looking for you everywhere! Remus said you came to look for me and Cassidy said she talked to you around here. You basically disappeared; I thought you'd fallen off the train or something! Instead I find you crying in a storage compartment while performing self-mutilation. What in Merlin's name happened?"
Caroline Hopper. A dark brown haired girl with greyish eyes and glasses. She's been my absolute best friend since our first year at Hogwarts. She's strong, independent and rather childish but can act motherly in situations such as the one she's currently in.
She kneels down next to me and stares at with an intense gaze that starts to freak me out.
"You're so creepy. Stop staring me at that." I say, flicking her freckled forehead. She whimpers, covering her forehead with her arms then stands up and leans over me fixing me with that stare yet again, hands on hips.
"Well?" She raises an eyebrow and I sigh, standing from my seat on a random truck and stretching my stiff limbs. I lift my bag and swing to over my shoulder. I open the door back into the hall of the train and beckon to my best friend.
"C'mon," I say, as we exit and close the door behind us. "I'll tell you back in the compartment because I need to change before patrolling the halls."
"Ugh, you have stupid Prefects duties already?" She asks, scrunching up her nose in obvious annoyance.
OOO
Back in the compartment I explained everything to Caroline. Entering the Platform and being annoyed by Potter up until my rude choice of words. I explained seeing Snape and how annoyed in made me at how he was ignoring me. Caroline never really liked him and is rather annoyed with my worry over it. I then go into detail of my conversation with Cassidy and Quinn. I go on to explain my thought process in the storage room.
"So, I don't know, I should talk to him… or something…" I looked up at Caroline to see that she was sitting back, eyes thoughtful, brow furrowed.
"Honestly, Lily? I think your freaking out just a little," Caroline explains. "You know how those girls are, everything James does bounces back to you in their minds. I agree that you don't seem to take into account that James has feeling but your overthinking that little bit just as much as Cassidy and Quinn are. James may miss his father but I honestly don't think it's enough that it would be all he thinks about. He would know that's not what his father wanted if they were as close as the girls say they were. As for needing you to talk to him, that's definitely not true… though it would help."
"Since when do you call him James?" I asked, to Caroline's annoyance.
"Is that all you got out of what I just told you?" Caroline asked, giving me the death look through silted eyes.
"No," I said, slouching in my seat. "So I shouldn't talk to him?"
"You seem rather disappointed." Caroline said with an evil tone in her voice.
"I'm not," I retorted, blushing with anger. "I'm relieved."
"Yeah, okay," giggled Caroline, making my anger rise. "But that's not what I meant, you should talk to him a little."
"Why?"
"You really don't know?" Caroline said, looking rather surprised, her grey eyes wide, eye brows raised so that her forehead looked all wrinkled.
"No." I said, confusing overtaking me know. If he doesn't need me to talk to him why should I have too?
"Merlin, Lily, you really are thick." Caroline said with a smile.
"Why? What? I don't get it." I whined in a childish voice, leaning forward and shaking Caroline's knee's like a child in desperate need of something. Caroline stood reaching towards the sealing with an exaggerated yawn.
"Yep, when I talked to Remus you had two hours before your patrol started. You spent a good hour worrying like an idiot in the storage thingy after about a half an hour of socializing and walking around so you have about, hmm, 30 minutes? Better change into your robes!" Caroline smiled standing on her tip toes to reach her bag with her clothing in it.
"Caroline!" I screeched, I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and shook it. "Tell me!"
"Don't worry, I'll change with you!" she said with a huge smile.
"Why? Why? WHY?"
"I don't know, I thought you'd feel uncomfortable changing by yourself."
"No! Caroline…"
"I don't understand the question. Mind explaining?"
"Oh Merlin, never mind." I said angrily, beginning to undress. Caroline gave an evil laugh at her victory as she began to change to.
"So, how was your summer?" She asked, the question made me jump a little but I answered normally.
"It was okay… Petunia has a boyfriend." I replied with a shrug.
"She managed to get a boyfriend?" Caroline asked whipping around, awestruck.
"Yeah, some chubby man name Dursley. He's shorter than her with no neck. It's weird." I said with a disgusted look on my face.
"Ewh, even his name is weird." Caroline said, her voice as disgusted as the look upon my face.
"His first names Vernon, too," I mentioned, Caroline gagged. "I bet your summer was better than mine. What'd you do?"
"My summer was amazing!" Caroline ginned as she sat down to tie her gold and scarlet tie. "We visited Paris and then my parents took me to some beach in the tropics. I met the most amazing guy there…"
Caroline went onto to explain a highly detailed summer vacation that I didn't even get to hear the ending to because I had to meet Remus back at the Prefects compartment a few cars down. I pinned my badge to my chest and promised Caroline I'd be back soon to hear the end of her story. I exited the compartment. I was kind of glad I would be spending a half an hour with Remus, we hadn't had that much time before the meeting and there were a lot of things I wanted to talk to him about.
When I entered the train car where I should have been meeting Remus I was surprised and a little angry to find, not a brown haired boy but instead a black haired boy with rectangle glasses waiting for me. In Remus' place with a Prefects badge pinned to his white button-down shirt to the right of his Gryffindor tie stood James Potter.
Chapter 1, complete!
Still no idea what I'm doing but if you've read this far I'm hoping you enjoyed it!
This is like the farthest I've ever written into a book...
Depressing, right?
But awesome because I got this far!
Thanks for reading!
superzoemonster