"I like to call it: 'The 7 Step Plan To Getting Your Two Oblivious Best Friends Together!'"
"Bit of a long name, isn't it?" David commented.
"I'm working on it. Anyway, are you in?"
"Hm, why not? Better than enduring more months of them singing flirty duets and stealing glances at one another in the practise room!"
"Good! Okay, ready for step one?" Wes asked excitedly.
"What's step one?"
"Attain allies."
"And what exactly does that entail?" David asked curiously.
"Well, first of all, we know for a fact that Blaine likes Kurt, but we should probably be 100% sure that Kurt likes Blaine before we do anything. We don't want anyone getting upset!" Wes explained.
"Wow. You've actually thought this out well. Warbler Wes must be taking over normal Wes!"
"Shut up, David. Anyway, it might also be a good idea to be in cahoots with some of Kurt's friends. That way we don't look too suspicious and Kurt probably trusts them a lot more than us. It'll make things easier!"
"Good thinking, man! Where do we start?
"Hey, Kurt, can I borrow your phone?" David asked at lunch the next day. "I need to ring my dad and my phones dead."
"Erm, sure," Kurt replied. He unlocked it and passed it over to David. "Be sure to get it back soon though. Blaine and I are going out for coffee in our free and I need to text him to arrange where to meet."
David resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of another coffee date and took the phone off Kurt. "Thanks, man. Won't take a minute!"
He stepped out of the crowded canteen and into the hall, where he proceeded to open Kurt's contacts and scroll through the list until he got to the name he wanted. He quickly sent the contact details in a text to himself and, when his phone vibrated as a confirmation that he'd received them, he deleted the message. He was about to lock the phone when a text came through. He didn't open it but that didn't stop him from looking at the preview.
Blaine Anderson: Hey, meet me at the front. Coffee's on me today. Don't even try to pull out your wallet because...
Wow. They really needed to hurry up with getting those two together.
Later that night found David and Wes hovering over David's phone. It was on speakerphone and they both eagerly awaited the phone call they were about to have.
"What up?" came the voice when it finally stopped ringing.
"Hi! Is this Mercedes?" Wes asked, quickly.
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"Wes and David. We're friends of Kurt's from Dalton," he explained.
"Oh, what's wrong? Has something happened with Kurt?"
"No, no," David assured her. "Nothing's wrong with Kurt. We just wanted to clear some things up involving him and perhaps make a deal with you."
"I'm listening..." Mercedes prompted
"Well, we've noticed how Kurt and Blaine have become very... friendly," Wes said. "And we also know that they can be a little flirty. Being such good friends with Blaine, we know that he likes Kurt, even if he's oblivious to it himself, but we wanted to clear up how Kurt felt about Blaine."
"Why did you want to know that?" Mercedes asked.
"Well, we've come up with a plan. If Kurt feels the same way about Blaine then we'll go through with it."
"And the plan is...?" she asked.
"The 7 Step Plan To Getting Your Two Oblivious Gay Friends Together," Wes recited.
"Bit of a long name isn't it?"
"That's what I said!" David told her. Wes glared at him and he raised his hands in a surrender motion.
"Okay, we'll I'm in. If it'll stop Kurt being upset every time he gushes about how dreamy Blaine's voice is or how amazing his eyes are or how cute his butt-"
"Okay, that's enough about Blaine. I don't want to think of my best friend's butt!" Wes cut her off.
"Right, well we've been involved in very similar conversations about Kurt so we know how you feel!" David added.
"I'm in then. What's step one?"
"Actually, this is step one," Wes explained. Step one was attain allies. We could really use your help with the Kurt side of things. We can talk to Blaine and get him to tell us things and trick him into doing things, but we might struggle with doing the same with Kurt. So we thought we'd recruit Kurt's best friend. And if need be, the help of the New Directions. Would it be alright if we just kept you updated on and go over what we need you to do?"
"Sure. So what's step two of the plan?"
David looked at Wes, also eager to hear the next step.
"Step two," Wes announced, "is obliviate the oblivious!"
"Okay, Wes, you're going to have to explain this further," David said.
"Basically, I don't know about Kurt but Blaine is so oblivious about the way he feels about Kurt. He's always going on about how amazing he is, how fantastic his voice is, how gorgeous he is, but he hasn't actually admitted he likes him. It's obvious to us, but it's not to him and it's definitely not to Kurt," Wes clarified.
"Well, I think it'll be easy to get Kurt to admit his feelings if I try," Mercedes piped up. "Getting his to realise Blaine feels the same won't be so easy. He's kind of insecure about stuff like that."
"Right. So lets start with clearing up their feelings. Making them realise the other feels the same is just an added bonus," David said.
"Cool. I'll get Kurt around for a girls night at the weekend. Of course, I'll have to explain to the girls what's going on. But that will give you the time to speak to Blaine too," said Mercedes.
"Perfect! Ah, I'm so glad we called you, Mercedes!" Wes grinned.
"Anything for Kurt! Look, I'll keep you updated on what's happening, alright?"
"Great! Thanks, Mercedes! We'll call you on Sunday and swap details."
"Awesome! Now if you'll excuse me boys, I have a group of girls to call and face masks to whip up!"