'Pope. Rebecca. In the mountains somewhere…' Why had he waited this long?

'I'm sorry, sir, there are over a thousand listings for the surname 'Pope' in this country. Perhaps you have a street name…a state even…'

'Could you just look for the initials P and R?'

'Yes sir. Ah…that narrows it down to around two hundred. Do you have anymore –'

'No!' snapped Alex, and slammed down the phone. It was his fault, and he knew it. He should have grabbed her with both hands and held on tight while he still could have. While she was considering leaving her husband. But now it was too late, and all that was left was an image lingering in the air that disturbed him every time he happened to pass room 2115. He picked up the phone again, and tried a different connection service.

'Pope. P and R. Mountain village. And –'

'Karev!' Burke's tall shadow fell over the nurse's station, 'Go home! Now, you've exceeded your eighty hour week limit as it is, and it's only Thursday. Go!'

'But sir, I –'

'Karev, go.'

Alex heavily got to his feet. He couldn't go home. Izzie was at home. And he couldn't be around Izzie. She was finally moving on, trying to get over Denny. Alex felt both frustrated and aroused when she was around. She had left him for a man that had a heart that probably wouldn't have see him through another year. That had stung. Hard. And now, she was over Denny, and she still didn't want him. That also hurt. He wanted her. At least, he had until Ava had left and he had realised. What exactly, he didn't know. A lot. Alex hadn't had sex for a long time. He couldn't, even though Olivia had offered, countless times. He couldn't, not when he still held a torch for Jane Doe, or Ava, or Shannon for that short period of time when he really did feel he was about to lose her, and now Rebecca, or whoever she wanted to call herself. For the first time in his life, Alex Karev felt more than just a want, more than just a lust for a woman. He felt something deeper, and that scared him. He felt – well, he couldn't place it, but it felt a lot like what other people called…well…love.

'Karev! Leave!' Burke had come up to him while he had been standing at the door of the room he now recognised to be 2115, trying to sort through his thoughts.

'Sorry, sir,' Alex muttered, turning on his heel and stalking off towards the car park.

'Hey,' came the calls of George, Izzie and Meredith. He grunted in reply and started up the stairs. A small hand caught his, and he turned. It was Izzie. Oh no. Her pretty face was twisted in concern, blonde hair falling in curls across her forehead and framing her face.

'What is it?' she asked him gently, once they had reached his door at the top of the stairs.

'It's nothing. Just – a hard day…lost a patient who coded less than an hour after heart surgery, and then…' He trailed off, but Izzie's eyes were still full of sympathy and worry for him.

'I've never known you to be one to worry about things like that. I mean…' she faltered, looking at him anxiously.

'Right. I'm the ass who doesn't care when he's lost a patient. Right. Forgot that one.' The door slammed behind him, and he leant against it, chest rising and falling. He took out his cell and threw it across the room. The message from USAconnect that "regretted to inform him that they could not help him with his request at this time" zapped into blackness as the metal struck the floor and spread into a hundred pieces. Bits of plastic skittered under the bed, towards the pile of discarded clothes and one slid under the door.

Why didn't he chase Rebecca the night of Burke and Christina's wedding? He couldn't admit it, even to himself, up till now. He was scared. Scared of the intensity of his feelings, afraid of showing too much, of letting himself experience the waves of longing. So he had turned his back. Convinced himself that it was best for her, and for him. Let her go back to her husband. The one they both knew she didn't love. And they knew it well.

He sat down on his bed, rage gone, cool, calculated thinking overtaking the anger. He closed his eyes. He imagined her sliding her warm little fingers into his calloused palms, imagined that her other hand was resting on his chest. Pretended that he laid a hand on the small of her back and was pulling her to him, their bodies connected, warm and comforting. That she placed both hands on his cheeks and lowered his face to her. That her lips pressed warmly against his mouth, tongue flickering across his lower lip, a smile tugging at her features.

Alex Karev suddenly sat up. Of course! She had been a patient at the hospital. So when she had suddenly retrieved her memories, and her husband had filled out her discharge papers, he would have provided an emergency contact number! And that person would know how to find her. Barely able to contain his excitement, Alex ran barefoot down the stairs again, ignored puzzles looks from the others, dashed to Meredith's car, turned to key in the ignition and fired up the engine, not caring that it was four in the morning and the noise was waking the neighbours. Only fixated on the idea that he might finally find Ava. Finally.

He drove recklessly, not pulling over for turning cars, just tracing the familiar path to the hospital that he knew so well. Intent of the road in front of him. Which was why he didn't see the truck on his immediate left, until it was too late. For anything.