"Little Lightning Girl" The voice in my head repeats over and over. The thumping in my head getting louder and louder. Until I scream in agony.
"Hello Mare," Two blue eyes appear in front of me, and I look away. "I told you to hide your heart." Cal and my family appear in front of me, bound by chains, tightening with each breath they take.
"Stop. Please stop." I plead with him. I can see Gisa not moving no longer, I can't see Shade or mum or dad moving, nor Bree or Tramy. Only Cal is awake and staring at my begging to save them pathetically.
"It's your fault, why couldn't you have died in that arena. Your pathetic, Mare Barrow." Cal spits the words like poison. He turns away in disgust and then my family wakes up, saying the same over and over again. The pounding in my head starts again, and I scream in agony.
"Mare, Mare wake up." I hear a soft voice say. Waking up gasping for air I see the room dark but for the beside lamp turned on. I lean forward trying to steady my breathing, while a few tears escape I feel a warm hand go to the back of my neck and rub circles into the skin. It's soothing in a way, but I'm reminded of a dream where I was repeatedly burned. I practically launch myself at the far corner under the desk that I made, afraid it's Maven in my room, and the whole thing wasn't a dream.
"Hey, Mare it's Cal. I'm not going to hurt you, ok?" He gets up from the bed and slowly approaches. When he's near enough to reach out and grab me he stops. He crouches in front of me as if trying to see a wild animal, I guess in a way he is. "Mare, I'm not going to hurt you ok?" He repeats the question again, and I nod as to let him know that he's fine to continue. "Ok, good. Do you want to come over to the bed and talk or just stay here?" I don't want to leave my hiding place because I'm scared it's a trap.
"S-stay." Once the word is released Cal lets out a sigh, and sits down on the floor. But doesn't try to make contact. It's cold in the room but, It's better than it being hot. I see Cal let out a breath of air and it's like smoke leaving his mouth. His face contorts into a grimace seeing this.
"Mare it's freezing in this room; why do you stay here?" He's trying to make me comfortable enough for me to leave my hiding place. It's works but not well enough. "Mare?"
"Well only one room has heating cos the boilers are broken here and I can't fix them. But I thought you may want the room with the heating because imagine the cell wasn't very warm." I whisper gently.
"Mare, I'm a burner, I don't really feel the cold, but I can in this room." A few seconds pass before either speak again. But he breaks the silence. "How long have you been having these nightmares?"
I don't want to answer but I know I have to; I know it's not healthy to not sleep but I just can't bring myself to want to get better, because the emotional pain gets pushed down and replaced by physical pain. The training and not eating or sleeping and forcing myself over and over to exhaustion.
"Mare, please answer. Please." He's practically begging now but I keep quiet, not wanting to hurt him even more. He'll feel… I don't know what he'll think. Will he be disappointed, hurt or even angry that I can't keep my emotions in check? "Mare?"
"I-I d-don't k-know. S-since w-we've b-been h-here." I can't seem to form proper sentence's the cold and the tiredness dragging me down. "I-I d-didn't m-mean t-to w-wake you." More tears slip through my eye that I can't control. First night out of his cell and you ruined that as well. You stupid girl. "I-I'm s-sorry C-Cal." He leans down to look at me and there's understanding and sympathy in his eyes. He opens his arms as a gesture for me to come out and let him comfort me. Slowly I crawl out of the corner that I'm hiding in. Cal immediately responds by grabbing me and lifting me into his arms.
"You don't need to apologize Mare; you can't control what you dream about." He stands up with me in his arms and carry's me out of the room, into his. The warmth is a relief and I shiver at the familiar yet foreign feeling that sets deep into my bones. He stets me down on the bed and wraps the blanket round my shoulders. Then Cal pulls me back into his arms and the warmth and comfort that I haven't felt in ages pulls me down to sleep. But before I fall I hear Cal say he will fix the heating in the morning, but I was long gone, too far into sleep to reply. But I try and he stops me. "Just go to sleep. Don't worry about anything else till morning." It wasn't a request but an order coming from a general and that makes me shrink back in fear. But he pulls me closer and whispers that he's sorry and that he will help.
As I fall asleep I didn't even realise him humming the song we danced to until my eyes closed and I slip back into my dreams and with Cal holding me tightly.