Jessie would pay severely for this. After Meowth's little attempt to cyber-sex the Boss, the latter had taken quite the shine to James' outfit, or lack thereof. His superior had requested of his worker to dress in his trademark tacky orange suit, and it was more than the cheap polyester that made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He tried to ignore what he valiantly prayed could only be drying sweat in the groin area as he squirmed in displeasure on the leather seat. Big enough for two, he realised with a surge of panic and feared he made the damp section a little moister.

His employer stood before the solid mahogany desk, sweat dripping proudly from his erect nipples, which for some reason had smiley faces drawn around them. James was uncertain if he'd rather Giovanni was completely naked rather than the body-builders stance he posed, to compliment the throbbing bulge under his equally tacky jungle-print loincloth, naturally. He prayed they were pokéballs in a hidden pocket and NOT what logic screamed to him.

Just when he thought the whole scene couldn't get any more disturbing for the young bishounen, his eyes were diverted to Giovanni's Persian walked into the room. The attention-seeking cat-type was usually stealthy, but its entrance was far from it today. James suddenly understood a new level of fear towards his boss and he wished that the…pokémon…and a half naked man having a middle-age crisis were not blocking his exit from the room. He was now contemplating leaping out the window behind the desk in the hope it would result in his suicide.

Words cannot possibly denote justice to just how ghastly the Persian looked. For some disturbing reason, Giovanni had his pet—Persian, not James—wearing the official Team Rocket black thong, which it wore back to front to let the tail out the obligatory…love hole. The neon pink letters "T" and "R" hovered over what James could also only pray were hidden pokéballs, though sadly there was physical evidence proving otherwise as it was two sizes too small for the cat-type's appendages.

Perhaps a little more worrying, was the fact its neck and paws were dripping with chunky gold jewellery, causing the noise as it walked painfully slowly. Subconsciously, James wondered how it had sat still long enough whilst the fur on its head was shaved in a bastardised Mohawk format, but he also remembered the various drugs in the hidden section to the corporation where experiments were run daily on pokémon. Tied to its tail was a clearly home-made flag with child-like scrawls reading "I pitty da foo' who disses mah Team Rocket homies". He recognised it instantly as being the same handwriting as the signature on his salary cheques, and he definitely added to the moisture this time.

Giovanni called "Mr Tease" over to him and grinned as the Persian rubbed against his naked, stubble covered legs. There was nothing like chunky gold running along his muscles that would get him more in the mood, but then he commanded him to go fuss "King Gaymes". He had known for a long time that his boss was a man to be feared but this took it to new levels, and made him wonder if the weight of the jewellery had been the real reason why Meowth walked on his hind legs. Then, he began to fret over why Meowth was so obsessed with being Top Cat again. Oh gods would she pay for this. Dearly.

He decided there was no other option and leaping to his hopeful death was the only way out. He wished that when they came to scrape his splattered corpse off the pavement they'd be too disgusted with the scene to notice the hideous suit he wore. Bracing himself, he leapt from the chair and shut his eyes as he leapt for the glass…which was double-glazed. He bounced back with a tender face and elbows from the impact, and was momentarily stunned. He opened his eyes when Persian started licking his face as he found out whether it was a hidden pocket in the loin-cloth firsthand. He wept openly like a baby, trying to draw his eyes away from his boss' grin. And from something else.

Jessie and Meowth were arguing about the finer aspects of how it was the other's fault that their partner was not there. Well, Jessie was combining a mixture of sexual frustration and fear and venting the two on Meowth, whereas the scratch-cat pointed out that had it not been for Jessie's choice of what their partner was wearing at the time, he would still be there. He was contemplating agreeing with the hormonal woman just so he could hold onto his remaining lives. Her cooking had taken care of rather a lot of them before now.

James burst into the room with a flurry of anger and disgust, particularly so when he saw Jessie grabbing at his zip before looking up from her kneeling position and realising it wasn't Giovanni in the tacky orange suit after all. His mood could only worsen when he caught a glimpse of THAT expression on Meowth's face. He pushed her away from his crotch and spat out to Meowth that he was Top Cat again, at which point the horrific memories revisited him with grotesque intensity. He wished Meowth had not asked why he was so certain of this, and felt a little vomit rising in his throat as he remembered Mr Tease. He would need at least ten years' worth of therapy from the past afternoon alone.

"Yes Meowth, I'm sure. There's no way that…thing…could have survived; the ridiculous gold would have weighted it down."

He remembered how he'd finally escaped from the room and Giovanni had opened the window and demanded for Mr Tease to recapture him, as well as ringing security. Mr Tease had grudgingly leaped from the window to the pavement below. With some extremely cruel irony, a large black van with a red stripe had just then swerved around the corner at speed, and one of the excessively long chains got caught around its front axle. James had heard the squawks from the cat-type as he ran three blocks in the opposite direction. He wasn't sure if it ceased due to its death, or if it was carried out of his hearing distance.

He wandered into the bedroom to remove the grotesque suit and was debating whether or not he should pour boiling water all over himself to remove the taint that remained on his 'smooth, unblemished body of shaggability'. He found that description even worse to handle when he recalled it coming from his boss' mouth. It had been flattering when Jessie had said it before, but now he knew where she learnt it. It disgusted him even thinking about it. He could never bear to hear her utter that he was an 'unfattening stud muffin of delights' again either.

He heard the door shut quietly behind him and his partner smacking her lips and he snapped that she'd better not even think of saying anything. She ran her hands along his torso as she stood behind him, trying to ignore a sticky feeling on his skin which could have been the lipstick or sweat. She noticed him tense at her touch, but then relaxed to a degree as he finished unbuttoning the shirt. She peeled his upper layers off and turned him around to kiss him, knowing if she didn't do anything to soothe him now he'd never agree to wear her latest acquired item.

He jerked away after a couple of minutes when she ran her hand along the left side of his face and she noticed something she hadn't before. She gently moved the hair away from his ears and saw a monstrosity of a gold earring at least an inch in width saying "KING". Before she could ask him about it, he failed to meet her eyes as he showed the other ear suffered a similar fate, but this one said "GAYMES". She inwardly cursed, knowing that tonight would not be the appropriate time for her to ask him to model it. The skin around the piercing was an angry red and extremely swollen; she could have sworn he'd pierced his ears years ago yet this told her otherwise.

"Why did you…?"

"I didn't. Giovanni had his Persian use its claws to pierce them. Extremely hygienic, I can imagine."

"You know, you can't take them out for…."

"Three weeks. I know. At least he didn't cut my fucking hair so I can hide it."

She felt his body stiffen against hers as depression welled in him and knew that if she didn't do something soon he'd start crying and all hopes of her successfully seducing him would vanish. She nimbly cast her left leg over his right shoulder and pulled him closer for another kiss. If that didn't work, nothing would.

He ran his hand along her thigh and stopped when he reached the edge of her underwear. Something just didn't feel right. She threw her clothes up into the air and displayed with pride what she had on underneath. His eyes widened as he stared at her crotch. She purred and rubbed her chest along his chin, obviously misreading his reaction. Clearing his throat to make sure it came out as a shout instead of a whimper, he gripped her hip with more force than he intended.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY BOTTLECAP COLLECTION?!"

AN

Yes, that is disturbing, isn't it? And what exactly has she done with the bottle caps? All will be revealed (well, MORE) in the next chapter, but as before I am a woman and can hold out on posting it…or something. So review dammit!