The little dinosaur sat quietly in its place in front of the pilots' chair. From its position there it had a perfect view of the Black, and of the bridge. People came and went in the business of their everyday lives, but he was always true, always watching, always still. He was never happy, never sad, never frightened. From her seat opposite him, River watched him in contemplation, feeling as though she too was like the little dinosaur. People looked at her, but they never really saw her. Perhaps it was too much to ask that they look beneath the crazy exterior and see the soul trapped inside. Was she really any different to them? She felt. She hurt. She loved. Inside her mind resentment grew and festered. Anger at her own inability to communicate her needs to them ate away at her until she wanted to scream. To howl. To get them to really look at her. To really hear her. She often sat up here at night. She would think about the crew, the friends they had lost, her past and her future. A hollowness sat in her chest since Miranda and she felt at times that it would suffocate her. She did not have any knowledge of this feeling. She compared it to the emotions of the others. Was it grief? No. She knew what grief felt like. It squeezed her heart until she felt it would stop beating altogether. Was it loneliness? Perhaps. Although she was surrounded by friends and family there were times she felt distanced from them. Pain? No. Yes. She knew pain, the cutting hurting gut-wrenching pain. What other pain was there besides the pain of grief and the physical pain she knew so well?

She looked at the little dinosaur sitting tranquilly opposite her and searched his inanimate features for some key to help her understand. He merely looked back at her in his calm serene manner but did not offer any words of advice.

'Kaylee!' Mal roared from the ladder of his bunk as he climbed up. 'What the hell you doin to my ship!'

'It's shiny captain. Honest' she yelled back from his place in the engine room. He was only just able to hear her over the drum of the engine.

'Then why's she shakin so bad that it makes me think we're about to crash?' His voice was laced with sarcasm and he quickly strode down the hall to her. Looking inside the Engine room always left him somewhat bewildered. Tools lay scattered over the floor and Kaylee as always ran to and fro in a way that made his head spin. 'It's nothing Captain. I replaced a valve on the Port side thruster and she just needs to grease up all proper like.' She flashed him a smile that calmed him somewhat. She was the most competent mechanic he knew, besides which, he knew that she didn't wanna crash anymore then he did. 'Yeah' he replied gruffly, 'just you make sure not to crash my boat, got it?' He walked away before she could reply and missed the look she threw his way. 'Men' she mumbled to herself, 'just little boys grown big'.

Making his way to the mess he felt the ship shudder beneath him several times before she finally settled down. He released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Since Miranda he had gained a closer understanding of his own mortality and it made him nervous. He wasn't afraid of death. You couldn't live through a war and not come to grips with the fact that you can and will die. No. It wasn't that. What made him nervous was the fact that there were people on his ship that relied on him not to get them killed. A picture of Wash flashed before his eyes and for a second a sharp hand squeezed his chest and threatened to bring him to his knees. 'You ok?' Jayne's gruff voice brought him up from his thoughts. The mercenary sat at the table eating a bowl of unsavoury looking protein mix. A spoon sat precariously half way between the bowl and his mouth as he looked over at him. Straightening his shoulders, he walked into the room. 'Fine' he replied tersely. Jayne merely nodded at him in acceptance of his words and put the spoon in his mouth. 'We'll arrive in New Melbourne later today. I need you to get that load in the hold ready for transport. We'll drop it off around 4pm. After that, you've got the evening off.' Mal poured himself a cup of lukewarm coffee, turned around and sat down at the table opposite his hired gun. 'Shiny' Jayne mumbled his mouth full of food. Mal flashed him a look of annoyance. 'Ain't your Ma ever told you it was rude to talk with ya mouth full?'

'Didn't realise you was so concerned over my lack of manners Mal. I'll be sure to dress up real purdy for ya tonight. Say my 'yes sirs' and 'no sirs' all proper like so you'll be proud of me'.

'Hummp' Mal grunted, the corner of his mouth twitching at the thought of his big burly gun hand in a dress. 'Wouldn't hurt ya none'.

'I is what I is Captain. Don't see a reason to change now.' Pushing his chair back Jayne took his bowl to the sink and dumped in unceremoniously. 'I'll get that cargo ready now' he said over his shoulder as he walked out of the mess.

'Hey Jayne' Mal called after him.

'What?'

'You seen River today?

'Nope, why ya think I'm in such a good mood?' he chuckled leaving the other man to stare after him.