Scorpius Malfoy rubbed his eyes, a familiar scent invading his nostrils.

"Bloody hell. I must be really fucked up if I'm still dreaming of her" He inhaled deeply as he took in a lingering impression of cherry blossom on his pillow. He held his head as he got up, yelling for James and Albus. The specky gits would hoard all their hangover potion.

Rubbing his eyes, he took a sharp breath as he surveyed the damage to the suite. Furniture was completely trashed, there was confetti, toilet paper and broken bits of glasses everywhere. Shrugging, he stumbled to the center of the living room floor to shake the snoring form of James Sirius Potter, who had apparently passed out on what was left of a dining table in his boxers.

James Potter felt around for his glasses as the blurry image of Scorpius Malfoy swam before his face. Albus and Hugo may have forgiven him for breaking their little sister's heart, but James would be damned if he let that little git get away with trying to talk to his Lils at the wedding. He was hoping Lily would show up with Lysander Scamander or Eli Wood, it would serve Malfoy right. Glaring was, however, a bit difficult when you were nursing the worst headache since the battle of Hogwarts.

'What the bloody hell do you want, Malfoy?'

"Hangover potion" Scorpius tried to keep his voice from sounding surly. He and James had promised Al they would get along until the wedding was over, and he didn't want to be the one to break that truce.

'Al's got it.' James grunted as he squinted through a large crack in his glasses. Damn the Potter weak eyesight. And damn himself for confiscating all wands and leaving them in England before the trip. He couldn't even reparo the damn things. 'Get me some too while you're up, would you?'

Scorpius stood still as he noticed an empty bed frame in Al's room. His best friend was nowhere to be seen. The bottle of potion was sticking out of his suitcase, and Scorpius moved to grab it, figuring they would probably find Al at breakfast, when he noticed a sudden movement in Al's bag.

"Bloody hell, James! Get in here!" Scorpius forgot his animosity with the oldest Potter out of sheer surprise.

Hugo Weasley stumbled out of his room, to see his cousin and friend staring at a blue bundle in complete terror.

'Where in Dumbledore's name did you two get a baby?'

Scorpius rubbed his temples, stressed. "Why can't we remember any of this?"

'Because we had an awesome fucking time, obviously' James was snarky as he grabbed the hangover potion, leaving Hugo to pick up the baby and stare at it.

It was a fat 8 month old boy, who was clearly well taken care of. He was wearing a blue onesie, that matched his bright blue eyes. The child also had a full mop of dark hair.

"Carlos" Hugo pronounced as he stared again at the baby. It was a beautiful child, much more well behaved than James' kid had been at that age.

Scorpius rolled his eyes before noticing a very disturbing fact.

"Hugo?"

'Yes?' Hugo beamed.

"Where are your pants?"

James groaned as his cousin blinked at them, completely bare bottomed. "I guess they're around here somewhere…"

'I'll take the kid. You'll probably break him anyway.' James reached for the baby as Scorpius tossed a pair of Albus' shorts at Hugo's retreating bottom. He stared at James and the baby again, wondering if being related to Harry Potter could keep them out of jail for kidnapping. He took a swig of hangover potion, and nearly dropped the bottle as both men heard a blood curdling shout from the bathroom.

"Hugo! Your pants!"

"There's a bloody dragon in the bloody bathroom!" Hugo would have wet his pants, if he had had any.

Rolling his eyes, James handed "Carlos" to Hugo as he made his way to the bathroom. Knowing Hugo, it was quite possible he was freaking out about a little spider or salamander. He burst into laughter as he re-entered the room.

'He's not kidding! There's a Norwegian Ridgeback in there!'

Scorpius pinched his nose and shook his head. He couldn't believe James was a father and he was the one who had to be mature. Damn Al for disappearing off to wherever he was. Come to think of it, it was pretty surprising that Al was missing. His best friend was a notorious lightweight, and was usually grumpy as hell after a night of drinking. The night after their graduation party, Scorpius distinctly remembered having to haul his extremely disgruntled best mate out of bed in order to beat their girlfriends to breakfast that morning. Scorpius choked back the lump in his throat as he remembered teasing Lily about how boys could handle liquor far better than girls could. He rubbed his eyes, alert now. If there really was a Norwegian Ridgeback in the loo, and if Albus was missing first thing in the morning on a night when they had all clearly been fucked up, that could mean trouble.

'Guys, if there is a dragon in the bathroom, where's Al?'

"IT ATE AL!" Hugo wailed loudly, inspiring the baby in James' arms to sob loudly. Expertly cradling the baby in one hand, James smacked his cousin upside the head and shook his head. Kids.

'Ridgebacks don't eat people, Hugo.' Scorpius rolled his eyes as he remembered the endlessly boring lecture on dragon species he and Lily had been treated to on their trip to Romania.

'We'll just get some breakfast downstairs, and we'll probably find Al hanging out by the pool or sneaking a phone call to Maddie.' James Potter tried to mask the tinge of worry he was starting to feel. He had forgotten about Albus and his cranky arse hangovers. Judging by his own headache, Al should have been wrapped up tightly in his blankets, dead to the world and cursing everyone who tried to get near him. He bit his lip as he met Scorpius Malfoy's eye, silently agreeing not to remind Hugo of this. He smiled slightly as Hugo snatched the little boy out of his arms, and headed towards the door to their suite, placated.

'Oi Hugo. Please put some pants on before we leave.'

"Ok, let's empty our pockets, and think about where we last saw Al." James did NOT like to think about what would happen if they tried to show up in London without the groom. His wife was a scary woman – to say nothing of his sister and the bride to be. The mental image of Ginny Weasley Potter, however, was what really made him quake. Apparently Potters and Weasleys had a masochistic streak and only married women who scared the shit out of them.

Scorpius shook his head as he tried to remember. He had been drunk before, but he'd never blacked out an entire night. "We were at dinner at that steak house, Al was with us there. Then, was he at that one bar? Tryst?"

"At the Wynn, that's right! He was trying to stop us from going around telling people he was Harry Potter." James laughed at the memory. "Merlin, why can't I remember anything after that."

'Must have been those Firewhiskey waterfalls.' Scorpius frowned as he willed his memory not to fail him. For some reason, all he could see when he closed his eyes were visions of himself laughing with a particular red haired beauty.

"Hey James" Hugo had been uncharacteristically silent as he bounced baby "Carlos" on his lap, allowing his cousin and friend to talk. "When did you go to the hospital?"

Scorpius and James stared at a band on James' wrist. Apparently James Sirius Potter had been at the emergency room of St Helen's Hospital for Wizards, Las Vegas.

"What do you mean, this is our car?" James Sirius Potter was outraged as the muggle valet brought a large horse and carriage before them. With fairy lights. And a bloody red bow around the horse's neck.

Scorpius bit back a grin. He knew they had flown Ron's Ford Anglia to the city, and pretended it was a muggle car. Hugo had been quite adept at driving, surprisingly. Now, however, they had apparently traded it for a dubious looking horse. He squinted – the bow around the horse's neck was crimson and gold – an old Gryffindor tie.

"My father is going to KILL me" Hugo was moaning as he remembered Ron Weasley's loud threats as his mum gave him the car keys. Apparently the car was a family heirloom and a piece of Wizarding World history. It had taken a month of pleading to get his dad to agree to teach him to drive it in the first place. And he could only imagine how Rose would never let him live it down. Ever.

"We need to get to the hospital and find Al. We'll worry about the car later."

Grumbling, James climbed on to the drivers seat as Scorpius and Hugo got in the carriage, Hugo waving grandly with one hand as the other held baby Carlos. Too late, Scorpius realized what the encouraging smiles from the usually surly New Yorkers implied, and tried to sit as far away from Hugo as possible.

"Yes, you were here. Loudest patients I'd ever seen. If I didn't need to observe this one for a possible concussion – " the elderly mediwitch glared at James before frowning at the three men in front of her in a McGonagal-esque fashion. "You would have been kicked out."

Hugo, James and Scorpius were shamefaced. The last time they had been collectively reprimanded so severely was when they had accidentally set off dungbombs in the suits of armor at Hogwarts. Scorpius, however, was frustrated. He was facing a possible kidnap charge, couldn't find his best friend, and for some reason his arse was extremely uncomfortable.

'Why were we here?"

"You mean, besides being obnoxious drunks who got into a fight with people who have wands?" the mediwitch sniffed as she looked down her nose at the young men. Clearly they weren't too bright. She lifted a file out of a cabinet and ran her finger through the results. Scorpius made a frustrated noise. This woman was not helping.

"Now, now, Wendy" James made a show of reading her nametag while flashing the trademark Potter grin. When in doubt, he always turned on the charm. "We're just looking for my brother. Was he with us last night? He looks just like me, only less handsome"

The mediwitch tried to bite back an amused smile. "Yes, he was here. You were all talking about a wedding. It sounded like quite the affair."

"Yes! Al's getting married! That's why we need to find him!" Scorpius was ready to sob with relief. Maybe it hadn't been the smartest of ideas to let James take away their wands. Scorpius would have just accio-ed his friend.

"His wedding? You were just coming back from a wedding."

The three men paled as they stared at the mediwitch in horror. If they had gotten Albus married to some random stranger before his wedding, they might as well not go back to Britain at all.

"He was apparently the best man." The mediwitch smiled properly as she recalled the happy look on the bride and groom's faces as they had loudly marched into the hospital. The bride, in particular had been so charming that she hadn't the heart to kick them out as they waited for their friend to be discharged. "Congratulations by the way" she nodded to the tall, blond man, who seemed to have lost every ounce of blood in his body. "You seemed so happy. And your bride had the prettiest red gold hair I've ever seen."

AN: WHEW! This must be the longest chapter I've ever written! I apologize for rushing through some things, but I'm REALLY excited (as you can probably tell) to get to the "good" stuff. Please read and review – it makes me write faster.