As she sat in the hospital bed sketching the lines of kanji across the paper, she realized how unfamiliar writing was to her. Although she could respond to questions on paper and on computer, writing for it's own sake was a foreign concept to her. She did not know how or where to begin.

So she decided to begin with that.

And as she put pen to paper, questions gnawed at her mind...

I do not understand. How could defining the purpose of this notebook assist me in discovering my own purpose?

I do understand why Ikari would deem Eva insufficient for a purpose for living. When EVA has completed its mission in protection of humanity, so too will my purpose for piloting them. And my determined purpose in life will too disappear. It is necessary then to find an alternative purpose to live for, using this gift.

This 'gift' is an object that is given without seeking recompense. I have never received anything without giving in return, or without prior requisitioning. Not even that which is the Commander's. Ikari – a person that I would not have known two weeks prior – has given me a gift causes me to feel…unique about us.

What is this warmth I am feeling? Am I … happy?

Regardless of these sensations, I desire to use this notebook to its optimum potential. If it has the possibility of assisting me in finding another purpose, then I will use it.

But how?

As the hospital door clicked shut, she carefully pondered the ideas given to her. The black notebook simply sat on her lap, a silent witness to the decision she made as she started to write...

A purpose has been designated for this notebook in the hours since I have last recorded my question. Although it is not the purpose that I chose, it may be effective nonetheless.

Resolving on a purpose for the notebook was an obstacle. The notebook would not have designated a purpose for itself, and I could not choose one for it, due to the infinite uses for such an object. It was evident that assistance would be required. With this reflection in mind, I presented this notebook to the orderly who came to retrieve the cafeteria tray.

I proceeded to inquire, "What is the purpose of such an item?"

His shoulders rose and fell once in what seemed to be a noncommittal gesture before he stated, "Looks like a journal to me. You can use them to jot down what'cha do for the day."

"I should record all the details of the day into this book?" I asked, for clarification. It seemed inefficient to describe the entire day in detail, if one were to consider that much of the day is routine.

"No! No!" the orderly said at a much louder volume than was necessary. "You don't need to write down the entire day, just the stuff that's special – though, every day's special in my opinion." It was confusing. I had one hundred percent recall in terms of memory.

"Of what need would I have a journal, if I can simply remember the events that transpired?" I stated to the orderly.

"Well, your memory might not change, but your feelings towards those memories can, even in a day. You can write about it down in that book you have there, and track yourself."

I reflected on the observations of the orderly long after he removed the tray. He did have reason; emotions are ethereal to me. Others can comprehend their emotions readily, but I have difficulty finding the words to the sensations. Perhaps it would be useful to record them.

Therefore, the purpose of this notebook is as follows:

1.To describe unusual events that occur throughout the day

2.To record any physical reactions that appears to be symptomatic of emotional responses.

TBC

AN: 2 favorites, 10 reviews, 11 alerts, and 574 hits. And that was just the prologue. You Evangelion fans certainly know how to put the pressure on a guy! But I love it all the same. Thanks for the encouragement!

No author notes, disclaimers, or even titles will appear at the beginning of the chapters so you can just jump right in to the writing. After all, how many journal entries start off with a disclaimer? Titles will be in the chapter-chooser-thingy in the top right corner.

I forgot to mention that almost the entirety of the fic will span in that little Moleskin notebook that Rei is currently writing in, so barring interludes and such (which will be in third person), most of this will be in Rei first person view.

For those of you that thought Rei wrote too mechanically, well she just wants to get the right word down, so it may come off as mechanical. She also wants the interactions to be as accurate as possible, hence the quotes. (And for some reason, an image of Rei writing down the orderly's slang kanji just tickles me to the bone.)

For those of you who thought that Rei wrote too much… well, people sound different when they're writing than when they're speaking.

"That which is the commander's" his glasses, if you're interested. I'm suspecting she had to ask for those.

To Adam, poetry is a good idea, but I don't know if I can get in Rei's mind well enough to do her type of poetry. But perhaps I'll make an attempt.

I'd like to thank Marine Brother Shran and Andrew Joshua Talon for pre-reading this and keeping me in line. You guys are a great help. And yes Andrew, I'm still working on the Kimiko Mind Dump.

Finally … TheGoose recommended my fic over at the "Tales of Apartment 402" website (reidashshinjidotcjbcotnet) I tell ya, it's been an honor to be recommended. I've been ghosting their forums for a bit now, and I say I can't believe I've been accepted into their elite ranks. Thanks Goose!