Title: TO HURT TO PROTECT

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Rate: T

Fandom: Detective Conan

Pairing: Kudo/Mouri

Summary: Shinichi Kudo has returned at 17 for good, thank for the successful antidote. Haibara become Shiho too, but because of old habit, Shinichi still calls her Haibara. She stays in Tokyo, works as scientist in Tokyo University and sometimes side by side with Kudo to help him with cases.

Shinichi finally did what he long to do: confess his love with Ran and reveal the truth about Conan. Hopefully, she forgave him and accept to be his girlfriend. Their love has been through a lot of challenges and difficulties since his Conan time. But will they harvest sweet fruit as every fairy tales. Ran just witness what's happening turns into another way.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Friday

The sun has ceased in the West, leaving Tokyo with the mixture of the grey and dull while light of the early evening.

The light in a certain Detective Agency doesn't bother to be turned on as the young girl is hurry to pack some food and brings them along when she leaves the house. This Friday isn't the nice weekend for Mouri Ran because the one she is waiting for is busy at the police station. Her boyfriend – Kudo Shinichi once again involved in a case at hand so he is unable to come back home as they planned. It has been the fifth time in the week. Monday he practiced soccer and missed a date with her. Tuesday he came late because he nearly forgot about it. Wednesday he went for a case so he couldn't try her first-attempt raspberry cookies made for him. Thursday he made her wait as he chased after a suspicious guy while being with her at Tropical Land (hopefully he hadn't been shrunken).

To her, there is nothing different between her childhood friend and now-boyfriend. Everything stays the same before and after he returned as 17 again, even when he did confess his love for her. She forgave him for lying about Conan. Ran knows that he always put priority on solving cases. Shinichi devotes all energy and effort for working. Who understand his passion of becoming Sherlock Holmes of 20th century more than Ran. Obviously, she was not on the top of his list because he always put himself after community, take care injuries victims, protect innocent people and giving justice for others. Thus, his list is already long when it comes to her name. That's why she hardly has a chance to spend time with him. And just recently, Ran received a call from Shinichi told her that for her safety, he might lose contact with her as he was on a really dicey case. She doesn't blame him for that, conversely; that she loves about him, her detective otaku-deduction prince. It just makes she care more of him as he always ignore taking care of himself. She rushes for the police station, gives him some handmade tamaki so he can enjoy the fresh food when it has just come out of the stove. She is going to hit the Tokyo hall when the scene caught her eyes prevent her from stepping further.

###

"This time she might come after you, Haibara"

"I'm not afraid because I have you here" Haibara winked, made the young man beside her smile "but I feel that she not after us…"

"Huh?"

"She targets the one you love, Kudo" she stated the matter of fact without shrugging her shoulders.

"Ran? Why…? She doesn't know…"

"Yes, she does know, Kudo. She wants you to suffer the loss of love as she had."

Shinichi went quiet, he thinks hard how to protect Ran, is contact disconnection enough to protect her or he has to come up with other plan.

"Don't worry, Kudo. I'm always by your side. Everything will be fine" she reach for his hands, squeezed it gently to assure him.

He returns her belief by a confident look into her eyes "Yeah, together we can do it again", their forehead nearly met as they spread courage, support to each other.

Shinichi's eyes refocus on the hall around them. Tokyo hall is covered with green environment, a park full of trees, shrubs and bushes. Behind a sycamore, a familiar face looks at him. He catches a pair of blue eyes of the girl he loves and gets lost in them. Everything around him lost all its relevance, he just can't tear his eyes from hers. He just wanna rush there and has her in his arms but the situation at hand makes him to take into consideration whether to express emotion to his girlfriend or not. Life's getting unfair for a detective.

"Kudo san …" a voice disturbs his thought and when he turns back to the sycamore tree, she has gone.

Ran

Why is it? Why is that so? She was keep away from him. He hid many secrets from her, but Haibara…she stays by his side all the time even through back to Conan

Irony enough. She always thinks of him the first but she never in his first thought. He willing hurt her feelings to conceal his secret while he shared everything with Haibara who he believed to help him overcome every obstacle.

Haibara is far away better than her, proper match with him. Why he choose her –his old childhood friend over his intelligent partner? Because he feel pity for her? unwanted by everyone. Because she always the follower, he the commander?

The thought keeps whirling around in her head, knocks out her rational mind, lead her running non-stop deeper deeper into the green forest without her knowing.

The doubt itself wrist her heart inside now it become truth. She doubts it but she not ready to accept the bitter truth

xxxx

Ran continues running, racing until her feet become weary and cannot step anymore. Her arms reach for a sycamore to support her fatigued body. Unknown to Ran, there is a figure following her into the forest. Take advantage while she's managing to catch her breath, he wraps his arms gently around her waist, pulled her backward. Ran hasn't had time to react as a sweet voice whispers in her ear.

"It's me" Shinichi whispers, kissing her, a pair of soft lips slightly brushes against her shoulder.

Shinichi knows how to reassure the girl in his arms. She's strong, brave as the Karate Champion yet so soft, vulnerable in his sweet embrace. He breathes her deeply, let the scent of lavender and orchid overwhelm him. His lips form a smile as he feels Ran relax against him.

Ran closes her eyes; simply enjoy his aroma, the mixture of timber wood and lavender, the unique scent of her beloved Shinichi.

"I miss you badly… Ran" he baths her neck with brimful of kisses. His lips slightly part, stroke her skin softly as feather touches. Creating sensation on the girl, she unconsciously tilts her head aside for him better access.

"b-but... you said…" Ran gasps between his kisses "we shouldn't …"

"We're safe in the dark, Ran " said Shinichi seductively, the top of his nose traces a line from her jaw, down her neck, clavicle and all the way up to her cheek, rubs against the corner of her lips gently, ask her to turn so he can capture her mouth.

Her lips felt like a sweet ripe cherry for him. It's so soft, moist and intoxicating. All the emotion was restrained as every minute without her, now has chance to break free in the kisses he devotes for her. The passion grow from tenderly to violently, searing and fervently. It goes on until his lungs give up and he hardly tears himself away from her. His head rest peacefully against her shoulder blade.

Emotion dominates him; the remainder of logic was put in a sentence before it leaves him completely

"You shouldn't be here. It 's so dangerous" his breath plays across her neck, make Ran shivers a little bit.

She slowly opens her eyes, comprehends his words before let out a heavy sigh. "Dangerous,... "

"Shinichi … why I'm always get in danger whenever I 'm with you?" her voice was soft and low, he can't deduce because of tiredness or anger

'Ran' He doesn't know what else to say, what on her mind and what in her strange tone. Why can't we just stay like this and enjoy the moment?

"So the safest place you suggest me is…." She left the sentence in middle for him to complete but

"Get far away from you? Is it what you wanna say?" she went on

No, Ran, it's not

She flee away from him, swiftly and mercilessly, leaving him dumbfounded, bewildered standing there look after her running off deeper into the forest. He is a status of shrew and intellectual but sometimes he clueless to grasp the changing in his girlfriend's sensation. It takes him a few minutes later to put his feet on his neck to chase after her.

xxxxx

The door slams shut in front of his face. Shinichi is one step slower than Ran.

It's locked. It time to switch on the detective mode.

Shinichi goes around the house, tried to find any windows, any back door, any space or any entrance to get in. Nothing . He looks around for any tools, equipment, methods or any trick and plan to enter. Nothing. Only this damn door claims the only entry.

He thinks hard, refuse to give in.

"Kudo kun why are you here? You supposed to be with…," asks Takegi

"Ran's inside."

Takegi decided not to tell or ask anything as he watched Shinichi's face darken, focus fully on the door. He just says what necessary "Do you see anyone around here? We follow Vermouth and lost her sign…"

"She might be with Ran inside, help me find something to strike this damn door" Shinichi orders

Takegi and the whole team fall in silence.

They try but nothing generated. If there anything, Shinichi has come out first.

Therefore, everyone can just stand there, watching Shinichi struggle in vain to crash the door.

He continually punches on to the hard metal until his mind gone mad at nothings can do; he only has his words to beg her.

"Ran get out of there. It's dangerous. The criminal may be in there." He repeats himself, clueless about why she storm away from him. Damn him, why he just stick to the only raw truth.

"Dangerous! Always like that. There's no danger here. It's all your imagination to push me away from you"

Baka Ran what are you saying? Normally, he would scream back at her like that, like every their usual argument but this time he just blurts out:

"NO, Ran please hear me…."

"I don't wanna hear any excuse."

"Ran I…"

She doesn't let him finish, she refuses to listen, she goes on accusing of not care about her, not wanna be with her. All the hidden pains, all the accumulated hurts, all the unspoken restraints that have been throbbing her heart, she can't hold back anymore, let it flow out, ignore all his attempt to break inside, all his pleading for her to listen. All the emotions burst out of her control, so fiercely so intensively that she slip out the question although she knows it might hurt him

"Why do you say you love me?"

Silence

Ran What? She questions his feelings for her. What is more obvious than that he loves her? Just the thought of living without her scares him out of death.

"Because IT'S THE TRUTH, THE ONLY ONE truth"

"No, You Liar "

"Ran please Believe Me "

Silence

"If you hate me that much, if you wanna punish me, get out here and beat me up. I'll stay; use all your karate skills on me. Ran, OPEN the door."

"You will stay for me…?"

"Yes"

"… to beat you black and blue?"

"YES !"

"How about's your case?" He cant bear it anymore. She just delays to open that door and asks him silly question.

"I DON'T CARE. I just NEED YOU right HERE with me. OPEN the door. RAN"

Crack the door open. A young woman comes out. Here is his lady who he was desperately separated by the obdurate solid steel door. The girl he loves to see, longing to have her in his arms ;to remove all the suspiciousness she has in him, to erase all the pains he unaware caused for her. But he doesn't move, not react at all. She's here, only a few steps away but unreachable. She might disappear into another world. Just one-step toward her, he could push her away from him forever. Ran is standing in front of him: being trapped in a tighten grip of a strong arms across her shoulders and a gun attach to her neck.

Vermouth had her

" Well, well…. so great, I got the girl of the Great detective of the East." Vermouth smirks satisfied with her victory capturing Ran.

"What do you want me to do with your sweetheart, Silver Bullet?"

Silence

He looks at Ran, look at her terrified face

What should I do? Why is Ran, out of all people? His mind automatically provides the answer 'Because Ran is the one you love'. … God, she has done nothing wrong? 'Vermouth wanna get revenge on you for her lost love'.

"Sorry Angel, you are so generous but gullible. Why you leave your handsome detective and fall in my trap?"

"You got it wrong, Vermouth. She's not my girlfriend". His eyes never left hers, his precious angel. Their eyes locks for a moment seem like eternity, Shinichi knows himself hurting Ran but he has no choice. His face is cold as ice; show no emotion at all, just like a gorgeous statue. The pain imprinted in his look for her. It seems like kill him inside, cost him much energy to say the next sentence

"Do you think love is the high price for waiting?"

Ran's eyes wide open. She doesn't believe in what she is hearing although she doubts his feelings for her. Now that what she worries, suspicious are right but she never expect that he says it out loud cruelly like that. Love is the price for waiting? He thinks it that way? He is the one who ask her to wait for him and he is the first one to confess he loves her. Is she the one who asking for? No. So all the touches, the kisses are not real? All the times she has been cheated, back to Conan fiasco and now. TWICE. It's too much for her to handle. She burst out in tears, loses control of her action. Ran reacts violently out of the Vermouth's grip (Vermouth gets shock as well so her grip on Ran looser and let the girl out without any attempt to hold her back). She launches toward Shinichi- who is walking deliberately toward her without Vermouth's notice. Ran nearly reaches Shinichi, just an arm's length. It's a proper distance for her.

Ran tats Shinichi. Hard, on the cheeks.

Shinichi hugs her. Closely to his heart.

His arms quickly fling out to gather Ran into a tight but gentle embrace. He swings her around so swiftly that Ran has to time push out as she hear his tremble yet sweet voice whispering in her ears

"You safe" he relieves as if he has just withdraw a hundred ton of steel on his shoulders. "I'm afraid I cant be able to hold you again." He sighs contentedly then breathes her deeply, let her scent whirling above his mind "Sorry Ran, it's the one way to get you back". Ran's eyes wide open, again . Shock.

Her palms curl into fists now stretch out, lay on his chest. He just takes the ground under her feet. Moment ago she felt like the ground broke down and sallow her deep down to the hard core of the Earth and just now his word leverage her up to top of the world again.

"She wants you Ran. She knows you're my everything, the most loss, the most suffer… without you. That's why I have to protect you at any rate, Ran. Sorry I'm so selfish that all the time I hurt your feeling"

She cries. Her thought goes wrong again. He thought protect her is his own sake. She buries her face in his chest, her hands crawls up and circle around his neck as he tighten his grip on her.

One hand covers her ear; gently guides her face to hide at the crook of his neck. Burying his face in her hair, Shinichi kisses her forehead, temple and head. His breath plays to the side of her face, like a breeze with cool air on her burning cheek. All her pains are fade away gradually along with his touches. Ran close her eyes, simply too happy to finally get back to the safe nest in his secure embrace. While surroundings them people rush and run to arrest the criminal. She feels herself in safety among the chaos, peaceful under the storm.

Noise

"Ran… please believe every word I say… I love you" he pulls her closer until it can't be any closer.

Shinichi

"... endlessly . Even …even death tear us apart I won't stop loving you" his arms around her become tense, solid as iron steel. Unbreakable.

Shinichi

Before He never told her like that. Cliché and cheesy words is not his speech. Why? His breath descends to nearly zero point like the sky without wind. Something strange in his tone. Ran feels his head fall on her shoulder. Queer. She opens her eyes look over her shoulders: satisfied Vermouth grinning madly just descends the arm holding the gun, which formerly aims to Shinichi.

NO

Why? She just got him back. She just gets to cloud 9 now God push her down to hell 18. Cruel. The rise and fall of her fate just happen within a second.

Tell her

Tell him

Is there any way that he can show his love without dying for her?

###

Haido Central Hospital

Beep beep beep

The evenly sounds from the heart monitor implies a life of a person was saved.

The eyes open slowly. Blink, it has to get used to the source of light after covered in dark for several days.

Shinichi manages to sit up on the hospital bed. His back leans against the bed's wall. He gradually takes into his surroundings. Everything is white. It is the same thing he saw as last time he's in the hospital, except one thing that she stayed closer by his side. Just a little reach, his hand strokes over her hair. His palm slides softly on the smooth surface. His fingers dances, laces into the silky threads. Shinichi tucks a lost strand behind her ear, revealing her creamy pink cheek. The back of his palm glides down on the cold skin of her cheek. He just cant stop staring at her, his cherished girl who he once thought never be with him again. She looks like cherub when sleeping. Her closed eye-lids…

The voice of a young woman catches his notice

" Shin- chan, you're awake"

"Mom…" blushing Shinichi tried to hide his embarrassment. His Mom never come in the right time, one of his hands still tangles in her hair

"You don't know Shin-chan, how difficult we got her out of your grip back then"

"Mom…"

"Why you hold on her so tightly?"

No longer hold on the talking person, his eyes now transfer to Ran again. Keep his head down cannot conceal the red crimson strongly invade on both his cheeks, he recalls the only one thought he had in mind at that time

"Knowing that I couldn't live any longer, I just wanna hold her …with every second I'm still alive"

The end

Finally, I can finish the story…happily!

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Love all of you, ^^

Thank for reading.