One Shot: 02
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.
A/N: Here's another. It may not be standard practice but doing them this way is more fun for me when I read them. Maybe I'm just biased, or I rely too heavily on a good setup. Who knows?
Once again this is an omake, a bonus writing. Nothing in this short piece has any bearing what-so-ever on any actual storyline. It's as if it never happened, it's strictly for entertainment purposes.
This omake in NO WAY is meant to make fun of nationalities, languages, or the barriers that naturally arise between them. It is meant in good fun and if anyone is offended by it please let me know and I will remove it promptly.
A note about reading it: If you have trouble with a phrase please just say it out loud. Some will be more apparent than others. Try different pronunciations of the letters provided. I tried to make them somewhat phonetic. Remember, it's a japanese boy trying to pronounce them so try to use japanese pronunciations for the romanji letters. (Did I even come CLOSE to doing this right? *cower*)
----------------------------
Shinji Ikari slowly closed the worn notebook he had been studying intently. An uncharacteristic smile adorned his face and indicated to anyone who might have been watching that he was very pleased with himself.
'Soon...' he thought, 'I know each of them inside and out... I will use them soon.'
If this were some type of movie or television program one might expect the camera to pan away from our protagonist and show his environment. If it did one might even notice that the boy had been studying in his room and as the camera panned away you would be able to see the apartment complex he called home. With further panning one could see the city in which he lived and which he routinely saved from the grotesque monstrosities which threatened it. If the camera were to pan, and this indeed was a television program, or movie, one would then hear maniacal laughter from the apartment building in which the boy resides. One would fully expect the boy to have his face twisted up into the maddened mask of a lunatic.
Instead, as the camera pans away and we hear the maniacal laughter, one Ikari Shinji rouses himself back out of bed, where he had just gotten comfortable, and shouts at the wall between apartments, "Shut UP in there!"
--------------------+---------
Breakfast for Katsuragi Misato the next morning consisted of one well burnt piece of toast and three cans of Yebisu beer. She claimed the beer allowed her to stomach the taste of the burnt toast, but Shinji was skeptical considering how long the woman had held the handle down on the toaster... against the toaster's protests to relinquish said toast.
"Shinji-kun, what are you going to do today?" Misato asked casually, she had already informed her charge that she was needed at headquarters to work on some reports and, at Dr. Akagi's request, to get a physical. Both were explained when the phrases "missing diesel," "frat party" and "funnel-guzzling" were muttered under the woman's breath.
"I-I'm going over to Ayanami's for a little while." He dreaded telling her this since he knew she would pester and tease him about it for days, but decided that he needed to let her know since she was his guardian.
As expected, Misato leered at Shinji and asked, "Oh? Got a hot date?"
And, as expected, Shinji blushed furiously, avoiding her gaze, "N-no... I have to give her some notes from class due to her recent absence. The Class Representative asked me to deliver them and explain anything Ayanami didn't understand."
Misato smirked while drinking her beer, nearly inadvertantly choking on it and wasting the precious fluid, 'He'll be there awhile then.' she thought sarcastically.
Shinji finished his own toast and stood up, "I'm going now, Misato-san." He gathered the notebook he had been carrying and the papers for Ayanami, then headed for the door.
"I'll see you later, 'su-itu sai-su'"
And with that, he left.
Misato stared after the boy, pausing in mid drink, 'su-itu sai-su?'
-------------------/---------
Ayanami Rei did not answer so Shinji opened the door slightly and called in, "Is anyone here? Ayanami-san?"
After a moment he heard her soft voice call to him, "Come in, Ikari-kun."
Shinji smiled his kind, warm smile and stepped through the door, "Thanks, 'bei-bi keiku-su'"
-------------------pi---------
With a heavy sigh Shinji finally opened the door to what he now considered his home. "I'm home!" he called to the rest of the house, only to be greeted by one.
"Well, welcome back Baka-Shinji." Asuka shot at the boy, who had barely enough time to shield himself against it with a hastily erected wall around his ego made from the tissue paper of his soul.
Deciding to finally be on the high ground in his relationship with the arrogant german girl Shinji smirked, causing her to blink in surprise, then said firmly, "Hi there, 'jigoo-li jah-gusu', what's on your 'hah-tu and tempu-ting mai-n-dou'?"
The girl stared, completely shocked out of her wits. "Sh-Shinji, what did you just say?"
Wearing a similarly arrogant smirk to the one usually aimed at him Shinji laughed slightly, "What's the matter, 'ha-ni lipu-su'? Did I 'boo-loh yoo-er mai-n-dou'?"
Asuka, finally registering what was said, suddenly turned very red... and Shinji didn't think it was from embarrassment.
"J-J-JIGOO-LI JAH-GU-SU!!?"
Shinji winced, all mirth and arrogance wiped clean from his face. Something wasn't right here.
"Uh, Asuka... I..."
Asuka advanced on the boy, "You WHAT!?" she stomped forward, eyes flaring anger and the promise of severe bodily harm.
"I-I..." Shinji cringed and the notebook he was carrying fell to the floor, opening up to a well worn page in the middle.
Asuka glanced down at the book momentarily, only distracted by the movement, until she noticed familiar romanji characters next to kanji ones.
"Wait a minute..." she said angrily. She bent down and looked more closely at the page in the notebook. Shinji's quivering and whimpering was dying down and he finally got up the nerve to peek over Asuka's shoulder.
"uh..."
Asuka whipped around and stared at Shinji, "WHERE!?"
Shinji cringed back again and stuttered, "Wh-where what?"
"WHERE did you get this!?" she yelled, pointing at the notebook.
Shinji whimpered inwardly, he didn't want to say... he didn't want her to know... he didn't want to feel the wrath he knew should be aimed at someone else whom she felt wouldn't deserve it... even if it was true.
"K-Kaji-san..."
Asuka looked for a moment like she was about to pummel the helpless boy into something normally found on the bottom of her Unit 02's foot, but she suddenly relaxed. "Is that the truth?" she asked calmly, realizing with regret that Kaji was probably the only one the pilot knew who COULD have provided him with the information. At the moment she wasn't sure who she was more disappointed with.
Shinji nodded his head vigorously then began to ramble as quickly as his mouth would let him, "Yes! It is! I was walking home from headquarters a few weeks ago and he was coming out of a bar, he was drunk... you know like Misato drunk, I think even worse... I dunno... anyway he was staggering out and I said 'Hey Kaji' and he said," Shinji lowered his voice in a useless immitation of Kaji's voice "'Hey Shinji' and then we got to talking and he told me a bunch of english words and phrases he said would really impress people and woul-" he stopped suddenly.
"Would... what...?" Asuka asked tersely.
Shinji gulped, "Would... get me... girls..."
Asuka's eye twitched. At that moment she almost decided to give the notebook back to the boy and let him dig his own grave, especially after the confession he just stammered. Instead she let the little angel... who normally was locked up tight in a deep dark dungeon in the deepest recesses of her sadistic mind, out... and gave heed to her tiny, angelic words.
"Shinji, those... phrases..." Asuka began.
The door to the apartment suddenly opened and both Children turned to see Ayanami Rei peek her head in, then in her quiet monotone ask, "Is 'bii-gu dah-di' Ikari home? I've come for my 'hah-tu lov-en'."
--------------------------------
A/N: Just in case my phonetics aren't what I hoped...
'su-itu sai-su' = "sweet thighs"
'bei-bi keiku-su' = "baby cakes"
'jigoo-li jah-gusu' = "jiggly jugs"
'hah-tu and tempu-ting mai-n-dou' = "hot and tempting mind" (?)
'ha-ni lipu-su' = "honey lips"
'boo-loh yoo-er mai-n-dou' = "blow your mind"
'bii-gu dah-di' = "big daddy"
'hah-tu lov-en' = "hot loving"
I just know I'm going to hell for this...
This is also subject to editing, I wasn't happy with the phrases I chose.
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.
A/N: Here's another. It may not be standard practice but doing them this way is more fun for me when I read them. Maybe I'm just biased, or I rely too heavily on a good setup. Who knows?
Once again this is an omake, a bonus writing. Nothing in this short piece has any bearing what-so-ever on any actual storyline. It's as if it never happened, it's strictly for entertainment purposes.
This omake in NO WAY is meant to make fun of nationalities, languages, or the barriers that naturally arise between them. It is meant in good fun and if anyone is offended by it please let me know and I will remove it promptly.
A note about reading it: If you have trouble with a phrase please just say it out loud. Some will be more apparent than others. Try different pronunciations of the letters provided. I tried to make them somewhat phonetic. Remember, it's a japanese boy trying to pronounce them so try to use japanese pronunciations for the romanji letters. (Did I even come CLOSE to doing this right? *cower*)
----------------------------
Shinji Ikari slowly closed the worn notebook he had been studying intently. An uncharacteristic smile adorned his face and indicated to anyone who might have been watching that he was very pleased with himself.
'Soon...' he thought, 'I know each of them inside and out... I will use them soon.'
If this were some type of movie or television program one might expect the camera to pan away from our protagonist and show his environment. If it did one might even notice that the boy had been studying in his room and as the camera panned away you would be able to see the apartment complex he called home. With further panning one could see the city in which he lived and which he routinely saved from the grotesque monstrosities which threatened it. If the camera were to pan, and this indeed was a television program, or movie, one would then hear maniacal laughter from the apartment building in which the boy resides. One would fully expect the boy to have his face twisted up into the maddened mask of a lunatic.
Instead, as the camera pans away and we hear the maniacal laughter, one Ikari Shinji rouses himself back out of bed, where he had just gotten comfortable, and shouts at the wall between apartments, "Shut UP in there!"
--------------------+---------
Breakfast for Katsuragi Misato the next morning consisted of one well burnt piece of toast and three cans of Yebisu beer. She claimed the beer allowed her to stomach the taste of the burnt toast, but Shinji was skeptical considering how long the woman had held the handle down on the toaster... against the toaster's protests to relinquish said toast.
"Shinji-kun, what are you going to do today?" Misato asked casually, she had already informed her charge that she was needed at headquarters to work on some reports and, at Dr. Akagi's request, to get a physical. Both were explained when the phrases "missing diesel," "frat party" and "funnel-guzzling" were muttered under the woman's breath.
"I-I'm going over to Ayanami's for a little while." He dreaded telling her this since he knew she would pester and tease him about it for days, but decided that he needed to let her know since she was his guardian.
As expected, Misato leered at Shinji and asked, "Oh? Got a hot date?"
And, as expected, Shinji blushed furiously, avoiding her gaze, "N-no... I have to give her some notes from class due to her recent absence. The Class Representative asked me to deliver them and explain anything Ayanami didn't understand."
Misato smirked while drinking her beer, nearly inadvertantly choking on it and wasting the precious fluid, 'He'll be there awhile then.' she thought sarcastically.
Shinji finished his own toast and stood up, "I'm going now, Misato-san." He gathered the notebook he had been carrying and the papers for Ayanami, then headed for the door.
"I'll see you later, 'su-itu sai-su'"
And with that, he left.
Misato stared after the boy, pausing in mid drink, 'su-itu sai-su?'
-------------------/---------
Ayanami Rei did not answer so Shinji opened the door slightly and called in, "Is anyone here? Ayanami-san?"
After a moment he heard her soft voice call to him, "Come in, Ikari-kun."
Shinji smiled his kind, warm smile and stepped through the door, "Thanks, 'bei-bi keiku-su'"
-------------------pi---------
With a heavy sigh Shinji finally opened the door to what he now considered his home. "I'm home!" he called to the rest of the house, only to be greeted by one.
"Well, welcome back Baka-Shinji." Asuka shot at the boy, who had barely enough time to shield himself against it with a hastily erected wall around his ego made from the tissue paper of his soul.
Deciding to finally be on the high ground in his relationship with the arrogant german girl Shinji smirked, causing her to blink in surprise, then said firmly, "Hi there, 'jigoo-li jah-gusu', what's on your 'hah-tu and tempu-ting mai-n-dou'?"
The girl stared, completely shocked out of her wits. "Sh-Shinji, what did you just say?"
Wearing a similarly arrogant smirk to the one usually aimed at him Shinji laughed slightly, "What's the matter, 'ha-ni lipu-su'? Did I 'boo-loh yoo-er mai-n-dou'?"
Asuka, finally registering what was said, suddenly turned very red... and Shinji didn't think it was from embarrassment.
"J-J-JIGOO-LI JAH-GU-SU!!?"
Shinji winced, all mirth and arrogance wiped clean from his face. Something wasn't right here.
"Uh, Asuka... I..."
Asuka advanced on the boy, "You WHAT!?" she stomped forward, eyes flaring anger and the promise of severe bodily harm.
"I-I..." Shinji cringed and the notebook he was carrying fell to the floor, opening up to a well worn page in the middle.
Asuka glanced down at the book momentarily, only distracted by the movement, until she noticed familiar romanji characters next to kanji ones.
"Wait a minute..." she said angrily. She bent down and looked more closely at the page in the notebook. Shinji's quivering and whimpering was dying down and he finally got up the nerve to peek over Asuka's shoulder.
"uh..."
Asuka whipped around and stared at Shinji, "WHERE!?"
Shinji cringed back again and stuttered, "Wh-where what?"
"WHERE did you get this!?" she yelled, pointing at the notebook.
Shinji whimpered inwardly, he didn't want to say... he didn't want her to know... he didn't want to feel the wrath he knew should be aimed at someone else whom she felt wouldn't deserve it... even if it was true.
"K-Kaji-san..."
Asuka looked for a moment like she was about to pummel the helpless boy into something normally found on the bottom of her Unit 02's foot, but she suddenly relaxed. "Is that the truth?" she asked calmly, realizing with regret that Kaji was probably the only one the pilot knew who COULD have provided him with the information. At the moment she wasn't sure who she was more disappointed with.
Shinji nodded his head vigorously then began to ramble as quickly as his mouth would let him, "Yes! It is! I was walking home from headquarters a few weeks ago and he was coming out of a bar, he was drunk... you know like Misato drunk, I think even worse... I dunno... anyway he was staggering out and I said 'Hey Kaji' and he said," Shinji lowered his voice in a useless immitation of Kaji's voice "'Hey Shinji' and then we got to talking and he told me a bunch of english words and phrases he said would really impress people and woul-" he stopped suddenly.
"Would... what...?" Asuka asked tersely.
Shinji gulped, "Would... get me... girls..."
Asuka's eye twitched. At that moment she almost decided to give the notebook back to the boy and let him dig his own grave, especially after the confession he just stammered. Instead she let the little angel... who normally was locked up tight in a deep dark dungeon in the deepest recesses of her sadistic mind, out... and gave heed to her tiny, angelic words.
"Shinji, those... phrases..." Asuka began.
The door to the apartment suddenly opened and both Children turned to see Ayanami Rei peek her head in, then in her quiet monotone ask, "Is 'bii-gu dah-di' Ikari home? I've come for my 'hah-tu lov-en'."
--------------------------------
A/N: Just in case my phonetics aren't what I hoped...
'su-itu sai-su' = "sweet thighs"
'bei-bi keiku-su' = "baby cakes"
'jigoo-li jah-gusu' = "jiggly jugs"
'hah-tu and tempu-ting mai-n-dou' = "hot and tempting mind" (?)
'ha-ni lipu-su' = "honey lips"
'boo-loh yoo-er mai-n-dou' = "blow your mind"
'bii-gu dah-di' = "big daddy"
'hah-tu lov-en' = "hot loving"
I just know I'm going to hell for this...
This is also subject to editing, I wasn't happy with the phrases I chose.