{Emma's POV}
I hate McKinley.
Well, I lied. I like some parts of McKinley. I like my friends and Mr. Schue.
"Mom, I've packed everything. I don't need you hounding me when I'm already stressed," I snipped walking out the door with my suitcase.
I was not talking with my mother very often unless it was fighting.
A weekend at the lake.. I was anything but excited. I had been getting slushy facials nearly on the daily for the past week. Someone in glee had told Dave Karofsky and his gross friends about my disease, and the boys relished in seeing me go off as soon as the slushy would hit my face.
Rachel and Mr. Schue had rotated cleaning me off. Mercedes and Kurt even helped me one time when they witnessed it happen which I was really grateful for.
I'm pretty sure I had worn all of Mr. Schuester's shirts as they began to cycle through again. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, I sometimes wore them to bed. They were big and baggy and comfortable. I figured I should probably start bringing my own change of clothes to school since I was getting slushed everyday.
The good thing about getting slushed everyday was that it was having less of an impact on my OCD every time. It may actually be helping me overcome my problems. Do I thank Karofsky? Nah. He's a dick. Yesterday on Thursday when I had gotten slushed, I didn't cry at all. My heart was still racing as fast as ever, but I didn't cry.
Once I got to school, I walked straight to Mr. Schuester's room.
"Hey Em," he smiled as I walked through the door.
Mr. Schuester and I had gotten extremely close the past week due to the fact that I spent everyday after school with him. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I had glee rehearsal. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Mr. Schuester was teaching me Spanish 5 material, and let's not forget that I was taking Spanish 4 with him on top of that. On my off period, I usually stayed in Mr. Schuester's office tutoring students who needed it. One student asked for help in psychology, and even though I wasn't a genius in psychology, turns out I do actually know a lot.
"Hey Mr. Schue. Here's this," I handed him his black plain shirt he had let me borrow from yesterday when I had gotten slushed. "I washed it for you, so you don't have to," I smiled.
"Are you all packed for after school?" He asked.
"I've been packed for days. Do you not understand how OCD works?" I asked him jokingly gaining a chuckle out of him.
"You don't need to be sassy, Strawberry," he raised an eyebrow pointing his pen at me in a playful manner.
Okay yes he had been giving me all these kinds of nicknames, and I'm not complaining. I liked most of them. It's like we were best friends, only not because I'm pretty sure it's illegal.
"You look stressed what's up?" I questioned pulling a seat closer to his desk.
"It's Coach Sylvester. She's making my life a living hell right now. She always does around the time of the camp weekend," he sighed.
"What do you mean?"
"She thinks it's inappropriate for me and you students to be spending the weekend together."
"How come? It's not like we're all sleeping in the same tent. There are rules. Girls are in the girl cabin and and guys are in the guys cabin for sleeping arrangements... unless you're Kurt or Blaine. In which case Kurt is joining the ladies.." I thought. He nodded.
"Exactly. I get my own cabin. It's just a weekend where the glee club can bond and get to know each other better," Mr. Schuester smiled. "It's honestly one of my favorite weekends of the year."
"So... are you gonna drop me any hints on the whole white t-shirt mystery?" I wiggled my eyebrows. I desperately wanted to know what he had in store for us.
"No way in hell am I telling," he sassed with a raise of his eyebrows.
The warning bell rang.
"I should get going to history. I'll see you around fourth period for the tutor session?" I asked. He nodded.
"See you then!" He called.
Immediately as I opened the door, a grape slushy hit my face staining my white shirt. I gasped.
"Obnoxious Crazy Demon. That's what it stands for, right my no-soul ginger?" I didn't even open my eyes mainly because there was corn syrup in them, but I felt Mr. Schuester push lightly past me running after Karofsky. I heard a slam.
"If you ever speak, touch, look or throw anything at Emma like that again I will have you expelled with the snap of my fingers. Do you understand me?" He snarled with so much force, most people stopped to watch in shock. "Karofsky, you're going to the Principal's office," he claimed once he cooled down a little bit. Turning to his audience, he yelled at them as well. "Don't you all have class to go to?" He snipped. I opened my eyes flicking the slushy to the floor. I gasped.
Mr. Schuester has Karofsky by the collar pushed up against the lockers. I mean, I could tell Mr. Schuester was a very healthy and muscular man, but Karofsky was a giant. How he did that.. I wasn't sure.
"Finn! Please clean off Emma, I'll give you a pass." He called as Finn walked by. "She just got slushed. I'll be back to help after I deal with him," he drug Karofsky by his collar to the Principal's office.
"Hey," I sighed as Finn got a look at me.
"Hey. Come on let's go to the bathroom.." he ushered me out of the classroom.
••••
"I think I got most of it.." he claimed helping me stand.
"Thank you Finn, you're a great guy and you didn't need to do this for me.." I sighed.
"No worries. I get to miss math for this, so you're helping me out," he shrugged which caused me to laugh.
"You know.." he began. "They're small minded people. And I may not be the smartest either, but I can tell there's way more to you than your disease. You're kind, you're wicked smart and your hygiene is great! You smell like coconuts all the time," he shrugged which caused me to let out a small laugh. "I am really honored to be your friend, and I'm sorry about what you're going through.. we'll find out who sent the word out about your disorder this weekend.. okay?" He reassured me with a smile.
I almost teared up.
"Thank you Finn. You're an amazing friend," I said squeezing his hand.
That's when Mr. Schuester waltzed in.
"Here's your pass, Finn" He handed him a yellow slip of paper. "Thank you for your help," Mr. Schuester smiled patting his shoulder as he walked by before turning to me.
"Are you okay?" He questioned.
"What do you think? I can't have this happen everyday to me," I stood as Mr. Schuester handed me his extra shirt. I shoved it away from me. "And I have to stop taking your shirts! I want this to stop! He's tormenting me, and I need it to stop!" Yep.. that did it. I started crying.
"Look," he sighed stepping closer to me until he was basically hovering over me. "I don't know who in glee club would say something about your disorder to Karofsky, but you don't need to be ashamed of who you are. Having OCD doesn't define you. It's an obstacle you have to overcome, and if you ask me.. if any of those boys had OCD, they wouldn't be handling it as good as you because they're weak. I know you're embarrassed to speak up and express yourself in glee because of your mom, but we need you. Everyone has something about themselves they don't like. Yours is just unique, and people like Karofsky are scared of unique. Unique means you're special and going somewhere in life.. and everyone including Karofsky knows that he peaked in high school. He'll be washing dishes in a kitchen soon, whereas I see you winning a Tony in the future or doing something amazing with your life.." he finished.
I sniffled.
"Hey.." Mr Schuester said calmly. "Principal Figgins is dealing with Karofsky right now. He's getting suspended, and if he does it again he'll be expelled, okay?" He said beginning to rub my back.
I shoved him off. He nearly stumbled backwards holding his hands in the air in surrender.
"I'm tired of being treated like I can't handle myself. I can handle this on my own!" I yelled at him. "I have been through this before! I know I just have to stick through it until I graduate.. I'm not stupid," I claimed taking a step away from him.
"When will you stop pushing people away that want to help?" Mr. Schuester scolded me.
"Everyone will leave anyways. It's easier on me to not get close to people in the first place.."
"You can't walk through life alone, Emma. That's no way to live and you know it.." he sighed taking a step forward.
"How many people do you have in your life that care about you?" I asked. He was silent. "Yeah that's what I thought... everyone loves you Mr. Schue because you're a great guy and you don't have a disorder pulling you down and making you different," I finished almost walking out of the bathroom when his hand gripped mine and swiveled me around.
"There are people who care about you here and you know it!" His voice was getting softer. "You have Rachel, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, the entire glee club, your mother... me," he finished. I looked up to him when he said that a little confused.
"You care about me?" I questioned almost shocked. Were teachers allowed to do that?
"Of course I do. You actually spend the most time with me than anyone else in my life this past week alone other than Coach Beiste. I would say you're my friend," he smiled.
"Is that legal?" I asked scrunching my eyebrows. He made a face.
"Probably not," he chuckled honestly. "But it's not like... you know... we're doing anything wrong. We're just friends. I would think that's okay. You?" He asked.
I nodded.
"Yeah, I guess so.." I could hear my own voice hitch. He reached his hand up slowly to my face. I stood still too afraid to move.
Was he going to...
He slowly picked off something in my hair throwing it to the floor before tucking my hair behind my ear.
"Finn missed some slushy.." he explained.
"Thank you.." my voice squeaked. He nodded before holding the t-shirt out again.
"Will you please take the fucking t-shirt now?" He chuckled. My eyebrows raised. "Please? It would break my daily routine if you didn't take one of my shirts," he nodded looking 'fake' offended.
"I know cursing is against the rules for teachers," I nearly laughed. This man kept on surprising me.
"Well... I guess you could say I don't always follow the rules," he winked jokingly at me before walking backwards towards the door. "See you in Spanish class, Strawberry," he sang as he walked out the door.
For some reason, my cheeks could not quit blushing. What in the hell just fucking happened?
•••••
"Alright guys, you ready to head out?" Mr. Schuester asked all of us in the parking lot. Most of us cheered ready to go, but I was still a little nervous.
"Just follow my car to the campsite, sound good?" He asked giving us a thumbs up. I got in my car just as the other kids did. Rachel got in the car with me after packing her stuff in my car. We figured to split the gas cost this way, so it was easier for both of us.
"I'm so excited, what about you? This trip is going to be epic," Rachel grinned buckling her seatbelt. I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm excited," I smiled.
"So I know this is gonna be hard for you with the whole OCD and being on the campground and stuff, but I brought a lot of cleaning things and I can help you if you have troubles.." Rachel smiled gently placing her hand on top of mine. "I will disinfected our bunk when we get there, so it'll be cleaner for you, and I'm not swimming in the lake cause of the... you know germs and stuff," she smiled.
"Rach, you don't have to do that," I sighed. Some stress was immensely taken off my shoulders at that point.
"No worries. I need to get my tan on anyhow what about you?" She asked. I nodded. Yes I knew I would fry, even though it was only supposed to be in the upper seventies, but I have never met anyone with whiter skin than mine.
"You're a great friend.." I muttered. "I really appreciate what you're doing, but just because I can't do something doesn't mean you can't either. I can help Mr. Schue barbecue or take a nap or something," I shrugged.
Rachel burst out laughing.
"Mr. Schue will be swimming with the rest of us actually. He's bringing his jet ski. Finn says he does every year, so you and I will finally get to see Mr. Schuester shirtless!" She fangirled. I chuckled.
"There's more to a man than having a nice body," I claimed. "Do you have a crush on Mr. Schuester just like the rest of the girls at McKinley?" I sighed.
"Are you not?" She gasped. "That's like an insult to pretty people," Rachel groaned.
"I'm not saying he's not.. pretty. I'm just saying there's more to a man than what's on the outside. You know? Like personality, the way he treats people.. being pretty is just a cherry on top of the rest," I smirked.
"Oh my god you do like Mr. Schuester!"
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Berry," I scolded giving her a side glare as we began to move out of the parking lot. "I mean.. he is pretty nice eye candy, though," I chuckled which caused her to squeal.
The truth is... I actually do like Mr. Schuester. He is an amazing guy. I had to hide it from Rachel. She seems like she can't keep her mouth shut. If word did get out, my relationship with Mr. Schuester would be totally awkward. I mean he was one of my best friends.
I knew nothing could happen between us because he was a teacher and I was a student, so I wasn't giving my hopes up. It was just a little crush. I wasn't swooning, I just really like being his friend. He listens, he gives advice and he cares.
He was handsome, only about four years older than me, he helped me when I was being bullied... but I mean... that's his job. He would have done that with any other student. He gives me extra shirts when I get slushed... but then again he does with every other glee student. Kurt and I were the ones that wore his extra shirts the most in that school.
'He doesn't like you back, Emma,' I thought to myself. 'It's his job to help motivate you and push you to be something.' I sighed focusing on the road.
We were following Finn and Puck who were following Brittany and Santana who were following Mr. Schuester. The rest followed behind Rachel and I. Looking forward, Mr. Schuester's car was pulling a black and red jet ski behind it. I had always wondered what it was like on one of those. I had never really been in a lake at all.
All I knew is that this weekend would either help my OCD, or destroy my progress.
•••••
Once we got to the campgrounds, we all sorted into cabins based on gender and sexuality. I was bunking with Rachel, and Mercedes and Kurt were bunked right next to us along with Quinn and Brittany. Santana was bunked with Tina on the opposite side of the room from Quinn and Brittany.
Santana and Brittany, both pleading to stay in the girls cabin, were forced to bunk on opposite corners of the cabin, so no sexual action would be taking place.
Nothing would, anyway. Not with everyone there... at least I hope not.
The boys had two different cabins since there were nearly twice as many boys than girls. Joe and Sam bunked together, Finn and Puck bunked together, Rory and Artie bunked together, Mike and Matt bunked together, and Blaine and Carl were bunked together.
After everyone had settled and Rachel helped me to disinfect our bunk along with the help of Mercedes and Kurt, which I was extremely grateful for. After that, Mr. Schuester called us all outside.
"Does everyone have their white shirt with them?" He asked. Even Mr. Schue had a white shirt he held in his hands. Everyone nodded. "Good, shall we begin with singing our diets or later around the campfire with s'mores?" He asked raising his eyebrow. Everyone nearly yelled the second one including myself.
"What do we have planned for tonight Mr. Schuester?" Quinn asked genuinely curious.
"Well, I say first we should all take a dip into the lake before dinner. Then, Finn and I will take turns barbecuing some hamburgers and hotdogs while everyone showers. After your shower put your white shirt on inside out over another shirt and don't let anyone see what it says. I'll give you further instruction with that when we get there, and then I think we should sing some C. A. M. P. F. I. R. E. S. O. N. G. songs!" He sang in reference to a spongebob episode. We laughed agreeing.
I smiled. I think this would be a fun weekend.
After we had all changed into our swimsuits, everyone nearly ran to the lake. The cabins and the lake were about a quarter of a mile apart from each other to make sure the cabins would never flood.
Walking outside, everyone was screaming with joy running towards the lake. Puck even threw Santana over his shoulder running.
"Ready to get your tan on?" Rachel chuckled. She had a t-shirt over a swimsuit top, and no shorts on. I nodded sliding a shirt and shorts on over my two piece bikini.
"Let's go," I smiled taking her hand and running after the rest of the glee club members.
Once we got to the beach, mostly everyone was in the water. Finn and Sam were helping Mr. Schuester get the jet ski in the water. People were already begging for a ride.
"Hey, let me take her for a spin once, and if you guys want a ride, line up on the dock," he pointed to the dock.
Rachel and I laid out towels down on the beach and rid ourselves of our shirts and shorts.
I nearly drenched myself in sunblock before looking to Rachel.
"Want some?" I asked handing her the spray. She nodded spraying herself as I put my sunglasses on leaning back to lay down on my back.
Pulling my phone up to Bluetooth, I connected it to Rachel's JBL Charge 3 speaker she brought with her.
"2000's songs?" I asked. She nearly squealed. I had an entire album dedicated to late 1990's and early 2000's songs. Clicking shuffle, I set my phone down as Rachel laid on her back with me.
The first song to play was You and Me by Lifehouse. I sighed. This was so very much relaxing.
"Emma?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah?"
"Mr. Schue is coming over here," she claimed. I stayed where I was.
"And?" I asked.
"And he's wet.."
"Hey ladies," he said somewhat out of breath from jogging over here.
"Hey Mr. Schue," Rachel said in her usual happy voice.
"You guy's getting in the water? It feels amazing!" He said. I sat up to look. He was absolutely drenched. His hair slicked back from the water, and the white t-shirt he was wearing was now see through and clung to his body showing off his torso muscles. He had dark grey swim trunks on.
"No Mr. Schue, we're just tanning," Rachel replied.
"Okay suit yourself, you mind if I leave my shirt with your stuff? I don't want to get sand on it, and it's kinda heavy in the water," he claimed.
I nodded.
"Sure, no problem Mr. Schue," I smiled.
The next thing that happened was one of the most sexy things I had ever seen in my life.
Mr. Schue took his shirt off the sexy way, and I'm pretty sure it was in slow motion. He crossed his hands pulling the bottom of his shirt over his head. His muscles rippled, and I knew my mouth hung agape because Rachel put a finger under my chin to close my mouth.
"Thanks ladies," he smiled setting down his shirt with our stuff. We nodded as we watched him jog back towards the water.
"That is one of the sexiest backs I have ever seen," Rachel breathed. I nodded unable to form words.
"Holy shit.." I breathed.
"Girl your mouth was hung open as if you were surprised. You see him more than anyone everyday, yet you seemed utterly surprised he was muscular as hell.
"I didn't ever think of him like that.. I didn't focus on his muscles or body. I'm more of a personality type of person... but damn," I breathed yet again.
"Okay, enough gawking. Let's just focus on relaxing," Rachel sighed. "That's what you and I both need right now," Rachel smiled laying back down. I mimicked her sliding my sunglasses back on.
After a while, some people got tired from swimming and joined Rachel and I on the beach to lay and tan or relax. Once I got hot, I turned to Rachel.
"I'm gonna hit the shower, I'll see you at dinner?" I smiled standing and collecting my things.
After my fifteen minute shower, Mercedes was the next one in line. I put my white t-shirt on inside out which bothered me less than I thought it would and slid some comfortable leggings on since I assumed it would be getting cooler outside.
I dried and straightened my hair. I didn't often straighten it, but since I was on this trip and trying new things, I might as well.
"Hey, you showered early," Mr. Schuester greeted me once I made it back to the beach. He was drying himself off from the lake. Finn and Puck were the only two left, but they were pulling the jet ski back onto land.
"Yeah, I got hot so I just went back to shower," I claimed.
"I'm sorry about this whole situation.." he apologized.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know the lake and the cabin and just the whole campground. I can tell you're uncomfortable here with all the bugs and germs and stuff. I actually considered going somewhere else for the annual weekend trip, but this is the only place the glee fund could afford.." he said honestly.
"No worries. You don't need to apologize, and you definitely do not need to change the destination of the trip for my sake. This is getting me out of my comfort zone, and being out of the comfort zone is the only way to help me get better. Otherwise I'm stuck," I smiled at him before glancing down his torso and back up. "Uh... do you need help barbecuing?" I asked.
"I think Finn and I can do it," he shrugged.
"Okay, well if you want to go shower I know how to use a grill," I chuckled. "That's the one thing my father taught me. I mean I guess it was bad for him to teach a seven year old how to use a grill, but it comes in handy now."
"Really?" He asked. I nodded. "Thanks, I'll try to be quick," Mr. Schuester reached down to grab his shirt. Reaching into his trunks he pulled out his keys.
"You had your keys in your trunks?" I laughed.
"Well, I didn't really wanna run all the way to the cabin and back to get my keys and then run to the parking lot for the food," he said handing me the keys. "The food is in coolers in my trunk along with the hamburger and hotdog buns."
"You're trusting me with your keys?" I asked.
"You gonna steal my car?" He asked.
"No," I answered.
"Then yeah, I trust you," he chuckled. "I'll be quick," he began to run towards the cabins before turning over his shoulder. "Thanks, Strawberry!" He called making me laugh. I honestly think whenever he called me Strawberry was because of my hair. The question was... was he referring to me as an insult or as a compliment?
I thought back to the parking lot with him saying, 'everybody loves strawberries'. Was Mr. Schue into redheads?
•••••
It was almost thirty minutes before Mr. Schuester came back. Quinn, Mercedes, Sam and Artie were already here sitting around the campfire trying to figure out how to light it.
"I'll be quick," I mimicked him as he waltzed over wearing jeans and his white shirt inside out. He had hair gel per usual and smelled lightly of a cologne I swear was from American Eagle.
"Hey sassy," he greeted me with a slight bow. "The food smells wonderful, and for me, that was a quick shower," he shrugged.
"Well, you and I have that in common. I have to go through everything twice or I just feel gross," I sighed flipping the burgers on the grill. "Finn helped me carry the stuff to make the s'mores and carried the chip bags as well before he went to shower," I told him so he was aware.
"Is Finn showering?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah he left about fifteen minutes ago to shower," I explained.
"Okay, I can finish up if you want," he offered.
"It's cool, why don't you just help them with the fire over there," I nodded my head. "They look like they need it," I chuckled watching Quinn and Mercedes drop two logs on accident and cursing at one another.
"On it," he smirked at me walking over to calm the ladies down.
"Mr. Schue!" Puck called running towards the wood pile. "I have gasoline and a lighter in my car," he offered. Mr. Schue looked at him strangely before shrugging it off. He probably didn't want to know.
"Go get it!" He shouted back. Puck smirked. That was his forte.
Once the fire was lit, most of the glee club was out sitting by the fire.
"Just finished the last burger, come and get it everyone!" I yelled as Mr. Schue was setting up a table with condiments, paper plates, silverware and sides.
Once everyone had a plate including myself and was settled around the campfire, everyone was having a great time.
"Rach," I patted the seat on the fold out chair next to me. "Glad you could join us," I laughed. "There's food on the table," I pointed.
"No it's okay, I'm vegan, so I brought my own food, thank you though," she smiled towards me.
"Dude..." Puck looked at me grabbing my shoulder gently as he was sitting right next to me. "This is the best burger I've ever had," he groaned taking another bite.
"Yeah no kidding!" People joined in to congratulate me on my grilling abilities.
"Well thank you," I bowed slightly.
"Mr. Schue?" Kurt asked. "If I may, I think we are all wondering what this whole white shirt thing is about." Everyone turned their faces towards Mr. Schuester.
"Okay, does everyone have a shirt on under the white shirt?" He asked. Everyone nodded. "Good, well there has been a lot of troubles going on in McKinley that have to do with our glee club. Many of you have been singled out... thinking no one feels like you do. Everyone gets made fun of, and I wanted you to all wear your shirts with your insecurities and things you hate about yourself. I wanted you to wear them inside out because that's what you personally don't like about yourself," he said before reaching in his bag pulling out a ton on sharpies.
Handing them to Tina, he ordered her to take one and pass them around.
"We are all different, and we all have something we hate about ourselves, but that's not the point of this exercise... the point is that each and every one of you will write one word on the back of each shirt that describes that person. One word you think of when you see them or hear them sing or even when you hang out outside of school. Don't tell them what you're writing, that's for another time," he said.
Everyone looked around at each other. I twirled my sharpie in my hand.
"Well, lets get going, start signing shirts," he ordered clapping his hands. People began standing. I turned to Rachel writing "best friend" on her back. I wrote the same on Mr. Schue's, which may have been wrong but whatever. I wrote "vogue" on Kurt's, "Beyoncé" on Mercedes's, "leader" on Finn's, "bad ass" on Santana's, "kind" on Quinn's, "hilarious" on Brittany's, "dancer" on Mike's, "football stud" on Matt's, Carl's and Sam's, "positive" on Artie's, "Christian" on Joe's, "friend" on Rory's, "outgoing" on Tina's, "courageous" on Blaine's, and "strong" on Puck's.
Once everyone was finished, we all stood in a circle.
"Okay.. now I want you to all take the white shirt of without looking at what people wrote and turn it right side out holding it in front of you," he ordered.
Everyone did as they were told as they all had shirts on underneath.
I was shocked at what people had put.
"Now I want everyone in order starting with Finn to say what's written on your shirt," he said looking to Finn.
"Dancer," Finn claimed.
"Gay," said Kurt.
"Weave," Mercedes nearly whispered.
"My weight," Sam claimed.
"My weight," Quinn followed.
"Lesbian," Santana sighed looking bored.
"The female Brick Tamland," Brittany read her shirt causing some people to laugh.
"Stupid," Puck said before looking to me.
"OCD," I said feeling my face turn slightly red.
"My nose," Rachel followed.
"Overbearing," Carl claimed.
"Shy," Matt said looking to Mike.
"Singing," Mike sang out of tune on purpose causing us to laugh.
"Accent," Rory said.
"Dreads," Joe sighed.
"My curly hair... hence the hair gel," Blaine chuckled
"Style," Tina smiled.
"Four eyes," Artie looked to Mr. Schue.
"My butt chin," he laughed along with everyone else. "Okay, now I want everyone to flip it inside out again and read to yourselves what people wrote about you. What they see when they look at you," he claimed as everyone turned their t-shirt inside out.
I looked at mine and almost cried. I read kind, coconut, best friend, leader, helpful, teacher, guidance, genius, broadway, ginger, strong, beautiful, sexy milf, positive, sexy ginger, strong af and of course... strawberry. However, there was one word that stuck out making my chest fall in sadness... freak.
I lowered my shirt putting on a fake smile.
"How many of you had words that correlated with your insecurity or thing you don't like about yourself?" Mr. Schuester asked. No one raised their hand. "Do you see? People tend to be the most hard on themselves because when you look in the mirror... you look for flaws. You try to fix whatever flaw that is with makeup, or lying or compensating with something you're good at. What you don't notice is that others are always trying to measure up to those around them. For the most part, people see you for who you are such as courageous," he gestured to Blaine and Kurt. "Or an amazing dancer," he pointed to Mike and Brittany. "Or strong as hell," he gestured to me.
I looked down.
"Everyone in this glee club has each other's backs... no matter what, we are all different because we are in glee club, so we need to respect one another and help one another. We are a family," he finished. "And with that I would like to ask you all a question. Something happened last week in practice. I am beyond disappointed in you guys. I told you all after Ms. Pillsbury left that nothing will be mentioned outside the choir room about Emma's OC-"
"Mr. Schue please don't..." I begged interrupting him. "It's okay, really," I nodded.
"No it's not. She has been getting slushied almost everyday for the past week. So, I ask whoever said something about Emma's OCD to Karofsky to step forward please," he asked. Everyone was silent.
I hung my head. People began to whisper.
"Santana?" Mr. Schue asked as she stepped forward.
"Relax Mr. Schue it wasn't me," she scoffed. "But I know who did. I ain't no snitch or anything, but I know you'll punish all of us until someone steps forward because you do every time someone won't step forward, and I wants me some s'mores, so... it was Berry," she nodded at Rachel. Many people gasped and began whispering. "I did write freak on your shirt though so," she shrugged.
My head whipped up to her. She was already crying.
"Look, Emma... I didn't mean to say anythi-"
"It was you?" I breathed dumbfounded.
"I didn't mean to, I was just talking to Tina walking down the-"
"I thought you were my friend. I thought you understood..." and that's when I began to cry. I started to storm off when Rachel caught my wrist.
"Please let me explain. You don't know the story," she cried.
"You know what I've been dealing with this past week. I broke down more than I ever had in that one week, and you witnessed it and didn't say anything!" I yelled at her. "I don't need to hear what you have to say... just leave me the fuck alone," I snapped yanking my arm away and running towards the cabin.
I walked around, pacing in the cabin crying my heart out. Who was I to assume this place would be different than back in Iowa? Who was I to assume my friends would have my back here?
Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut?
About five minutes went by before there was a knock on the cabin.
"Go the fuck away, Rachel I don't want to talk to you!" I cried.
"It's me.." I heard Mr. Schuester's voice on the other side of the door.
Perfect. I just cussed at my teacher. Opening the door, I let him slide in.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to sa-"
"Stop apologizing," he ordered taking my arm gently and leading me to a bed sitting me down. He sat down beside me. "I know you're upset... and you have every right to be. You have been going through a great deal this past week. I would know. I was there to wash you off most of the time," he shrugged. "Rachel just told me what happened.."
"I don't wanna hear it Mr. Schue. I don't want to hear what excuse she came up with," I wiped my tears away.
"I may be stepping over the line... but one thing I notice about you is that you run away when things get tough. You moved states because of some mishap with your friends, you won't let your best friend explain a mistake she made, and you think they're the ones leaving. I think I can tell you this because I'm one of your friends right?" He asked.
"Yeah.." I nodded looking down.
"You have a lot of shit to deal with everyday, right?" He looked to me raising my chin with his finger so I would look at him. "So when things get tough or stressful, you retreat trying to get away from the situation. You have a lot to handle and I understand why you don't want to take on anymore burdens. I get it..." he whispered taking his thumb and wiping my tears away gently.
"Thank you.." I whispered back.
"As one of your friends... I vow to you now that I will never leave you... okay?" The side of his mouth curled into a half smile. I nodded. "Come here," he ushered.
I stepped forward circling my arms around him as he enveloped me in a hug. It lasted for about ten seconds, but it was one of the most amazing ten seconds of my life. It was as if all of my worries went away. I fit perfectly in his arms. The smell of his cologne gave me a sense of comfort.
He let go.
"Please come back down to the fire pit... it's nearly time for singing around the campfire, and the lesson fits perfectly for your situation. You don't have to talk to Rachel, but I think you should..." he claimed squeezing my shoulder before walking out.
I sighed. Mr. Schue was right. I needed to face my problems head on.
Walking to the sink, I fixed my makeup and held my head high as I strolled back to the beach.
"Emma.." Rachel claimed walking towards me.
"Please... not right now, I'll talk to you later," I claimed. Rachel's head hung low as she nodded.
"Are we still doing our duet?" She asked.
"Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow..." I said as my eyes filled with tears. I didn't let a single one fall, though. I was stronger than that. She nodded agreeing.
Sitting down next to Kurt and Mercedes, they began talking to me.
"I don't want to talk about it guys... I just want to listen to some music," I sighed.
"Sorry... just know we're here for you," Kurt smiled holding my hand. Mercedes nodded in agreement.
"Thanks guys."
"Okay, guys who wants to start us off?" Mr. Schuester asked.
Mercedes and Kurt's hands shot in the air.
"Yes Mercedes," Mr. Schue nodded. Kurt and Mercedes stood in front of everyone bringing out their speaker.
"We will be singing Skyscraper by Demi Lovato," Kurt smiled attaching his phone to the speaker playing the instrumental version.
The song really made me think. I looked to them after they were finished.
"That was beautiful you guys..." I smiled.
"Thanks," they smiled.
A number of amazing songs about overcoming obstacles came up the rest of the night. Brittany, Santana, Quinn and Sam all sang Mean by Taylor Swift which I found somewhat ironic that Santana was singing it, but kept my mouth shut. Blaine, Mike, Matt, Joe, Carl and Rory all sang These Times by SafetySuit. Tina sang The Climb by Miley Cyrus, and Artie and Finn sang Lighters by Bad Meets Evil ft. Bruno Mars. Artie was rapping of course, and Finn was singing the Bruno Mars part.
"Guys that was amazing! I'm so proud of all of you. To finish us off, Puck and I will sing something I think you all will know..." he smirked grabbing his ukulele. "Puck?" He gestured for him to come up. Puck swung his guitar strap around his shoulder walking up to join him.
I scrunch my eyebrows. Could Mr. Schue sing?
They looked at each other and began strumming their instruments.
"Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I dreamed of
Once in a lullaby."
My eyes widened along with all of the other people new to glee club. Mr. Schue could sing. Like... really sing.
"Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me," he looked to me giving me a subtle wink smiling. I blushed. Mr. Schue knew exactly how to change my mood from sad to happy within seconds.
"Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh, why can't I?"
Everyone clapped including myself. I couldn't stop smiling. He was so good. I don't understand why he wasn't on Broadway or signed to a record deal.
"Mr. Schue that was amazing!" Rachel squealed.
"Rachel's right," I agreed. "How are you not famous?" I asked.
"We ask him that every year," Finn chuckled.
"Oh please guys.. my passion is teaching! But, thank you anyhow," he bowed along with Puck.
"And that's his answer every year," Mike added causing us to laugh.
"Alright, it's nearly ten. Why don't we get some sleep and meet up early? We're going on an optional hike tomorrow and discussing next week's assignment. Goodnight guys.." he waved sending everyone on their way. Puck groaned claiming he doesn't have a bedtime and wasn't tired, but walked towards the cabin anyhow.
After everyone changed and got ready for bed, it didn't take long for all the talking to simmer down. Everyone was exhausted from the long day, however, I couldn't get my brain to shut off. Once everyone in the girl's cabin was asleep, I rolled over getting up to use the restroom. Once I came out, Rachel stood in front of me almost causing me to gasp thinking everyone was asleep.
"Can I talk to you?" She asked folding her arms as if she was cold. I sighed. This would have to happen sooner or later. I nodded.
"Sure..." I said going to sit on the bottom bunk which was my bed. She sat down next to me.
"I'm really sorry I caused you pain. I figured if I told you, you wouldn't be my friend anymore... I guess I was right in that department," she mumbled.
I kept my mouth shut.
"I want to let you know I never actually told Karofsky. The guy's a piece of shit. I was talking to Tina. We were trying to figure out what items we could bring to disinfect the cabin for you and Karofsky overheard while he was walking with Santana..." she started crying. "It broke me to see you get attacked by him everyday, and I want you to know I confronted him every time about it telling him to stop," Rachel sniffed.
"Why didn't you just tell me? I would have understood..." I sighed.
"I couldn't. You were too fragile at the time, and I wanted you to have a friend to go to. I was scared you were gonna push me away.." she claimed honestly.
"Well look where we are now..." I scoffed.
"Are you and I still friends?" She asked. I stood sliding my flip flops on.
"Of course were still friends. I just wish you would have told me instead of Santana embarrassing us in front of everyone."
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"I can't sleep. I'm gonna take a walk," I answered.
"Do you want me to come with?" She asked.
"No it's okay... I just need quiet, you know?" I asked. She nodded getting what I was saying. I walked all the way back to the fire pit that had recently been put out.
I sat down on the log by the burnt out fire pit watching the midnight sun rise in the sky. Looking up at the stars and moon always calmed me down. I loved space. It was always so distant, mysterious, unpredictable, and for the most part quiet.
I could see the constellations so much more clear than in the city. Less city lights make for more visible stars which made me happy.
"What are you doing up so late?" A voice asked behind me. I nearly jumped looking behind me.
"Jesus... Mr. Schue you scared me," I sighed trying to calm my racing heart. "I just couldn't sleep. I've got a lot on my mind.." I mumbled thinking about Rachel before turning around to face him. "What are you doing up so late?" I asked glancing at the guitar slung over his shoulder.
"Same as you... just thinking.." he claimed scratching behind his ear.
"You think with a guitar?" I giggled raising my eyebrows.
"One of the best ways to think is through song. It brings out your true emotion.. your passion, you know?" He claimed strumming random chords quietly as he sat down next to me by the burnt out fire.
"Yeah... I wish I learned how to play," I nodded toward the guitar.
"Well, come here. I'll show you," he smirked dropping his left hand from the handle.
"No it's okay, you don't have to..." I mumbled.
"Seriously, you'll like it I promise," he smirked taking the guitar from off his shoulder and laying it in my lap. I held the guitar like he did placing the strap around my shoulder, so I didn't drop it. "I'll just show you two chords tonight, okay?" He asked.
"Okay..." I agreed as he came up behind me. I took a deep breath. Was this wrong? I mean I was so close to him, I could smell his aftershave. No it wasn't wrong. Mr. Schue is a music teacher... literally teaching me music.
"This," he grabbed my hand gently bringing it up to the handle and positioning my fingers. "This is A," he claimed. "Give it a little strum," he ordered. I strummed it a couple of times hearing the beautiful chord.
"That's amazing!" I claimed letting out a breath.
"Yeah, it's my favorite instrument to play," she could almost feel his smile.
"How many instruments do you play?" I asked.
"Well... I play the piano, the guitar, the ukulele, the drums on occasion and I played the trumpet in high school my freshman year if that counts," he shrugged that gained a giggle from me.
"In all honesty," I claimed as he moved my fingers a second time. "I had no clue you could sing... let alone play all of those instruments until I heard you sing tonight," I paused before continuing. "You have by far the best singing voice I have ever heard personally. There's no way you weren't on Broadway or didn't try out at least," I chuckled.
"This is a D chord," he claimed. I began to strum again looking at my fingers before up at him as he walked back around to face me. "I did try out for broadway and got turned down. Music is my passion, and since my dream didn't work out... I am here to help everyone else's dreams come true. It's actually quite satisfying," he smiled down at me.
"Do you have a new dream?" I asked. He paused looking almost straight through me.
"I don't know. What about you? What's your dream?" He asked.
"Well, after today... a realistic one would probably be to sing with you. So, when you become famous I can say to everyone "Hey I sang with Will Schuester before he became famous," and everyone will be jealous," I chuckled causing him to smile.
"Well," he took his guitar. "I can't disappoint my fans," he smiled putting it over his shoulder before holding his hand out to me.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"You didn't get to sing a duet tonight, so you're singing with me, duh," he laughed. I took his hand standing as a smile began to grow on my face.
"Are you serious?"
"Of course," he smiled scrunching his nose once.
"What are we gonna sing?" I asked.
"Your audition song. Although, we're going to sing a different version. Have you ever heard of One Less Bell/A House is not a Home?" He asked. My eyes got wide.
"Oh my God, I love that version," I nearly squealed.
"It's settled then," he said beginning to pluck the intro on his guitar. I began singing.
"Mm,
One less bell to answer
One less egg to fry
One less man to pick up after
I should be happy
But all I do is cry," I finished as Mr. Schue began to sing.
"cry
No more laughter
Oh why did she go" he carried the note beautifully as I began to sing again.
"I only know that since he left
My life's so empty
Though I try to forget
It just can't be done
Each time the doorbell rings
I still run" I sang before looking at him to sing together. He took his guitar off his shoulder setting it down onto the floor. Reaching for my hand, I took it as he spun me.
"I don't know how in the world
To stop thinking of him
(I should be happy)
'Cause I still love him so
I end each day the way I started
Crying my heart out," he spun me around and began to sing right at me. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I continued.
"One less bell to answer
One less egg to fry
One less man
(One less man)
To pick up after
No more laughter, no more love.
Since he went away
(Since she went away)
Since he went away," we paused as my audition song came into play. I sang my part walking away towards the water as he was watching me from the campfire.
"Mm, a chair is still a chair
Even when there's no one sitting there
But a chair is not a house
And a house is not a home
When there's no one there
To hold you tight and no one there
You can kiss goodnight.
A room is still a room
Even when there's nothing ever gloom
But a room is not a house
And a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart," I finished the verse as Mr. Schue's part came up.
"Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears," he started walking towards me. He finished as I carried onto the next verse.
"But it's just a crazy game
And when it ends, it ends in tears
So darling, have a heart
Don't let one mistake keep us apart.
Oh, I'm not meant to live alone
Turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh please, be there... still in love with me.
One less bell to answer
Each time the doorbell rings I still run.
One less egg to fry
To pick up after
(No more laughter)
No more laughter
No more love
Since he went away,
(Since she went away)
Since he went away," we paused turning towards each other for the next cue on when to come in, but it meant something different to me.
"All I do is cry," we finished almost a foot apart from one another completely out of breath.
"That was.. uh.. that was really good," I smiled quietly taking a step back as a tear rolled down my cheek. I blushed wiping it away.
"Well, lets just say if I ever become famous, you're coming with me to do that number," he chuckled scratching behind his ear nervously. "Oh hey, why are you crying?" He asked taking a step closer.
"The song just really hit home.." I said looking down.
"I told you. Music makes your true emotions come out," he smiled.
"It's a done deal," I smiled. "I'll sing it with you when you become famous," I smirked.
"Other than that, I gotta find a new dream.." he sighed.
"You'll figure out your dream soon, I'm not the only one with talent Mr. Schuester," I smiled genuinely.
"Well thank you, Emma," he smiled back.
"I knew I shouldn't have written what I wrote on your shirt," I sighed.
"What? I'm not your best friend?" He fake gasped knowing exactly what I wrote on his shirt.
"I should have written 'Justin Timberlake's twin brother'," I laughed causing him to begin laughing. "By the way... I don't know why you put your chin as your insecurity. Women love that kind of stuff if a man can pull it off, and let's just say you can definitely pull it off," I smiled.
"My butt chin?" he asked raising his eyebrows surprised.
"Your Kirk Douglass cute chin dimple is more like it," I shrugged. "Women are into it," I smirked causing him to blush smiling as he looked down before looking serious again.
"I'm still sorry about today. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything with this trip," he sighed as I took his guitar strumming the two different chords lightly.
"I told you, this trip is helping me push myself. That's the only way I'll get my OCD under control," I smiled.
"Well then, I think we should try something," he said holding his hand out to gesture to the lake.
"I'm not going in that lake," I said sternly.
"Aren't you the one that said you needed to push yourself?" He asked. "Everyone but you and Rachel got to ride on the jet ski. Have you ever been on one?" He asked.
"You're wearing jeans and a wife beater," I pointed out with a raise of my eyebrows. "And I'm not wearing my swimsuit," I added looking down to my pajama shorts and tank top. At least I was wearing a bra. That would not have gone over well being that he was my teacher and all.
"Where's your sense of adventure, Emma?" He asked.
"All the lake germs-"
"You can shower afterwards," he shrugged. I sighed.
"Fine.." I agreed. "But, if I fall off the jet ski I will make your life a living hell, Mr. Schue," I pointed at him as his hands raised in surrender.
"Very well, I don't know if I could stand getting yelled at by a strawberry," he chuckled at his joke. I narrowed my eyes.
"Getting yelled at by me will probably be one of the most scary things you'll ever witness," I shrugged.
"I will do my best then to not have you get thrown in the water," he giggled gesturing me to follow him. "Here, why don't you help me push this into the water," he smiled beginning to push the jet ski. It began moving, and I may or may not have been staring at his arms and shoulder muscles as he did so.
"Seems you don't need my help," I shrugged.
"Very well, sit on the seat so you can't change your mind then," he ordered motioning with his head to the seat of the jet ski.
"Mr. Schue you do know you're signing me up for an hour long shower right," I sighed sitting on the seat and holding the handles. He chuckled rather deeply behind me as he continued pushing it into the lake.
I squealed lifting my feet as the cold water splashed over the edge.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah.. the water is kinda cold.." I said nervously as he chuckled.
"You'll get used to it," he said continuing to push the jet ski.
"If I get bit by a fish I'm gonna lose it," I warned him. That comment resulted in him bursting out laughing.
"I think that only happens in like the Amazon and Africa. I'm pretty sure you're safe," he chuckled pushing it a little more.
My heart was pounding. Mr. Schue was nearly waist deep in the water before climbing on.
"Dang, I wish I wore like sweatpants, these are so heavy," he said scooting up so my back was touching his front. He was freezing, but his body was rock hard. "Wanna start her up?" He asked in my ear. I shivered.
"Wait... am I driving?" I asked.
"Yeah it's easy, I'll show you" he said. "Here put this on," he said sliding something onto my wrist that attached me to the jet ski.
"What is that?" I asked.
"That's attached to the break, so if you fall off it will automatically stop. There's a green button right here, when you click it the jet ski will start. To move you will pull this lever here on the handle," he pointed. "Steering is pretty self explanatory. When you see a wave lift your butt off the seat, so it'll give your body and back less stress okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Make sense?" He asked.
"Makes sense.." I answered pressing the green button and hearing the jet ski roar to life.
"Don't be alarmed. When you begin moving the jet ski will shoot water from the back," he added.
"I have seen a jet ski on the water before you know," I sassed.
"Okay, Strawberry, here we go," he chuckled circling one of his arms around my waist to stay put. The other landed on top of my hand on the steering handles. "I'm gonna help you with steering at first, and then I'll let go once you get the hang of it," he explained.
I took a deep breath before pulling on the clutch. Water spouted from the back of the jet ski as I slowly pulled it a little harder.
"Am I doing it?" I asked.
"Yeah, you're doing it," he replied helping me steer. "Read my body when I lean. Lean the way I am okay? Always be on your toes," he nearly yelled in my ear so I would hear.
"Okay," I replied. We were going fast enough that when he whipped the steering handle to the right and leaned, I leaned with him, but it was mostly him pulling me flush against him, so I wouldn't fall in. The jet ski nearly did a three-sixty as I let go of the throttle.
Mr. Schue was giggling behind me.
"Not funny!" I yelled.
"It was pretty funny," he chuckled. "Oh come on wasn't that fun?" He asked. "I thought I saw a smile," he said as I turned over my shoulder. I couldn't hold it. I was so beyond pissed at him, but I couldn't quit smiling. I couldn't stay mad at him. "That's what I thought," he said. "Want me to drive?" He asked.
"Uh... yes," I agreed without a doubt. I was done experimenting for the night. He took the wrist thing off my arm and attached it to his.
"This is gonna feel amazing. Just you wait," he whispered to me as we switched places.
"You gonna go?" I asked once we were settled.
"You wanna fall?" He asked.
"What?" I crinkle my eyebrows confused.
"You might want to put your arms around me," he suggested.
Oh... duh.
"Oh, sorry," I claimed hesitatingly wrapping my arms tightly around his hard stomach holding my torso against his back.
"Do you trust me?" He asked.
"Of course."
"Shouldn't have said that, Strawberry," he chuckled as the jet ski lurched forward at full speed. I screamed as my arms tightened around his midsection for dear life. My eyes were closed as my head leaned against his back for protection. After about three minutes, we were still going the same speed. "You know, Strawberry, the view is great if you wanna watch," he yelled back. "It'll feel like you're flying."
I took a deep breath opening my eyes. I could barely hear a thing from the water, jet ski and wind. Prying my head from Mr. Schue's back, I looked over his shoulder squinting from the wind.
It was as if the two of us were running on water or as he said... flying. My heart skipped a beat at the excitement. I had never been this reckless and ambitious before, and I was in love. This feeling of being reckless and having fun overwhelmed me. I was finally living.
After a while, Mr. Schue slowed down driving it back to shore.
"What are you doing?" I breathed loosening my grip on his torso which I new was a mistake because that was when I lost my balance and fell in.
The water was freezing. Kicking to the surface I let out a breath looking over to Mr. Schue who had just heard the splash. An idea popped into my mind.
"Mr. Schue! I can't swim!" I yelled bobbing under the water and thrashing around. Panicking, he dove in immediately coming to my rescue. Swinging his arm under mine, he propped my arm around my shoulder. I stopped thrashing and looked at him.
"Are you okay?" He asked still nervous.
"Yeah I'm fine," I replied.
"Why in the hell didn't you tell me you couldn't swim?" He scolded.
"Oh I can swim," I sighed. He looked up to me confused before I dunked his head under the water swimming out of his arms. Once he came to the surface he looked completely shocked.
"Oh my God, you did not!" The corner of his mouth rose slightly in a smile.
"That was for scaring the hell out of me on the jet ski," I laughed. "Now we're even!"
"Emma.. that's serious stuff. I thought you were drowning!" He scolded. I put on an innocent pout that caused him to smile once more.
"Oh come on, wasn't that fun? I thought I saw a smile," I mocked him causing him to let out a laugh.
"Dammit, Emma," he groaned rolling his eyes.
"Okay I really need to get out of this water. I'm getting more grossed out the longer I'm in it," I began to swim back towards the jet ski before climbing back on. Mr. Schue followed climbing on and driving us back to shore.
Once Mr. Schue had shut off the jet ski and pulled it back onto dry land, I stood there putting my flip flops back on shivering.
"If I had an extra shirt I'd give it to you, but I don't," Mr. Schue chuckled.
"It's okay. Itll feel nice in the shower," I shrugged. "Thank you.."
"For what?" He asked.
"Just... thank you," my lips raised in a genuine smile as I stepped forward embracing him. He cleared his throat hugging me back. When I stepped back, I could tell his face was red. Looking down at me, he smiled uncontrollably.
"Of course," he patted my shoulder awkwardly. "Goodnight Emma... see you tomorrow," he cleared his throat once more before gathering his things and walking quickly away towards his cabin.
What the hell did I just do?
*Hey y'all hope you're liking it so far! I'm sorry these chapters are unbearably long, but hopefully you stuck through and like it so far? Let me know in the reviews! I LOVE feedback and actually need it for this story. Love you guys -Syd
PS: if you have suggestions or stuff you would like to see in this story, don't hesitate to ask or recommend!
10,512 words