Fear And Courage

by lilidelafield

Napoleon and Illya become trapped in a lift following a THRUSH attack...simple right? Not when one of them harbours a secret fear ...claustrophobia!

2. Chapter 2 Napoleon's Diary

Entry from the personal diary of

Napoleon Solo

11/03/1965

This will have to be brief because I have been on the go all day, I had a lot of reports to check through and sign off before I left HQ and I have to get changed in two minutes for a date. I am taking the luscious Mandy out to dinner tonight, and she is one doll you don't want to be late for.

However, I do want to note down that thanks to THRUSH, yet again Illya and I ran into problems during a seemingly simple collection detail. The whole thing was a fake. A set up. We got stuck in a lift after a bomb went off. I don't want to go too much into the details of that. I've been through it all once for my report, and then again verbally for Mr. Waverly. Just to say I learned something about my partner that astounded me through to the core. Something he has always kept hidden from me. I never could have guessed.

The poor guy suffers from claustrophobia! The number of times we have been in situations that would have set it off and he has never let on, or even let it show. When he said he can deal with it, believe me, he's right. He can.

I have never seen such bravery, personally. Even facing up to enemies is easy compared to facing something like this. It was heart-breaking to see Illya in that lift today. My stout-hearted best friend, sweating and shaking, his eyes rolling, pacing frantically round and round. At one point I could see he was almost at breaking point, and yet he managed to swallow his fear, take deep breaths and I could almost see the tension leaving his body. Once the panic attack was over, he was so exhausted, he fell asleep, sitting where he was, against the wall of the elevator. I did lay him down on the floor, and started pacing myself then out of boredom.

I am more convinced than ever now of the courage of my Russian partner. Courage and bravery after all is not an absence of fear, but rather the master over fear. If I hadn't already had a date arranged for tonight, I would have offered to buy him a drink. The bravest man I know. My partner, Illya Kuryakin.