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Chapter two – To Recognize You

"I've heard rumors about an army coming from the east… "He stumbled in a few words still mesmerized by her presence. " An army leaded by a magic queen who came back from the dead with the help of the gods…"

"Is that what they are saying?" Mab laughed with mockery.

"Is it true?"

"Well, I'm very much alive, am I not?" –she opened her arms giving him a full view; Merlin remained in silence, the hostility in her voice was not something he was expecting, but now… Coming to think, he didn't know exactly what he was expecting.

"Can I just…" -swallowing with difficulty, he extended his arm toward her; she was like an illusion, like an echo from the past… Same face, same body… Different burning eyes and emotionless smiles. He came closer, but she took two steps back.

"Perhaps it's better if I remain an illusion."

Merlin shook his head turning away for a moment and swallowing all his emotions turned again to look at her with a more serious expression, though Mab look the same, she was clearly not the same person anymore… It was time to get rid of his childish hopes and face the reality, as hard as it might be.

"What happened, Mab? Last time I saw you, you were hanging from a cliff. I-I… I saw you fall." The memory came with a chill running through his spine and lodging in a dark place in his mind.

"I survived." she said very calmly raising her eyebrows very serene.

"And you're back now… With Saxons?" He pointed to an invisible spot outside the tent. "They are barbarians, they are killing our people!"

"Do not talk of what you do not understand!" She raised her voice and curled her fists. "They saved my life… They brought me back! Don't you dare curse them!"

"You're right… I don't understand…" Merlin approached her. "If you were alive all this time, why you didn't came back? Why now? Why not telling me? We're supposed to be friends!" His grief had returned disguised as anger, his jaw was tense; he was breathing loudly with the eyes fixed on her.

Mab remained in silence for a few seconds; he was not the only one trying to fight against the memories and the old feelings they bring. She stared at him with deep regret, when she "died" he was only a boy full of powers he didn't understand trying to find out how to be good and how to bring justice and equality to an intolerant land. Such pure spirit and kind heart… His face was more mature now, but his expression and his eyes… Oh, his eyes! They could make you believe in anything he ever wanted you to. If she wasn't so obsessed with her goal she would leave with him to Camelot where they could be happy again.

"You ask too many questions, Merlin…" -She lowered her head and began to remove the papers of the table.

"I saw you die and now I'm seeing you stand again… What do you expect?"

He sounded harsh and cruel; he didn't mean to be rude, but the mourning, the coldness and the overwhelming feelings of the reencounter were just enough to make him very confuse. He just couldn't understand why she let him believe she was dead; they used to be so close and now she treated him like a random stranger. He was feeling the cold metal of treason.

"Sit… "-She indicated one of the chairs. "You must be tired and hungry. How long did you take to get here? Five days?"

"Two." He was secretly satisfied to see a very amazed expression in her face. "I didn't stop."

"I'll have someone to bring a meal to us. Sit." She answered pulling the other chair and sitting; they looked at each other across the table filling the room with an uncomfortable tension. Mab took a deep breath and crossed her fingers. "I barely survived the fall, really. I don't remember much of those seconds… Everything is a blur, although I do remember calling the gods, summoning them; anything, anyone…" -she did a dramatic pause biting her lower lip and took a deep breath. "I woke up in a humble house, feeling very feeble… I struggled for weeks alternating moments of death and consciousness." "She looked so fragile that part of Merlin's anger vanished right away as he noticed small glimpses of her old self.

"This man, Otto, a Saxon, had found me writhing and took me to his home. He as his family fed me, healed my wounds; they took care of me and they didn't even knew who I was! … I didn't knew who I was, you see... The fall gave me a temporary amnesia, I couldn't remember anything! Nothing at all! But Otto and his wife, Mildred, didn't cared about this, they-they-the… They were so good to me; I'll never be able to repay their kindness.

They found me work in the market and for a few years I was happy!"

"Did you told them about your magic?" He was feeling very sorry for her, imagining that she went to all that alone without knowing anything from her pass, made his heart heavy and a mild guiltiness rested there.

"I didn't knew about my magic." Mab's eyes were bright now in an attempt to hold her tears. "And the worst part was that I felt in veins boiling my blood but I didn't knew! Till Samhain came…"

"Samhain?" Merlin felt a rush cold through his spine, he knew what was next.

"Yes… I wasn't feeling well so I went to bed early and at the stroke of midnight I felt a dark and cold aura. When I opened my eyes she was standing before me… A woman, an apparition coming from gods know where; she called my name…" She looked at him with a very serene expression. "My real name, you see, the Saxons used to call me Austra, but that woman invoked my true self, my core… She lifted her eyes to me and… Just one word…"

"Mab… " He said like he was completing her thoughts. –"that was Cailleach the goddess of the underworld. That day Morgana summoned her and opened the veil between the two words, I saw her too; she called me Emrys… My true self as well." He did a brief pause the next words were bitter in his mouth, the memories were just too damn painful. "By opening the veil, Morgana released the Dorocha; they started to attack the villages, we had to do something, but Cailleach was demanding a soul as payment … Arthur was willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of Camelot…"

"And you, of course, was willing to die in his place". She became cold and harsh again. "But you're both alive… Who was sacrificed?" –Merlin didn't liked the way she was putting things.

"Lancelot."

"Ah, Lancelot… The noblest and bravest of them all." A mean smile outlined on her lips. "once more you've sacrificed someone else's life towards Arthur."

"What happened to you after you recovered you memory?" She had always critized him because of his protective attitude towards Arthur.

"I got married."

"Excuse me?" That was the last thing he was expecting to came out of her mouth.

"You've heard correctly". She laughed and for a split of second, she turned into a shy little girl, but it was a very, very brief moment. In no time her face was cold stone again. "I had my memory and my powers back, but I still didn't wanted to come back. As I said, I was happy there, I was free. I met a man, Liam, he was honest and good; he was so kind to me and so generous to the ones I love that soon enough I found myself deeply in love with him. He proposed and I accepted."

"I'm really happy for you." Merlin smiled with sincerity and his particular kindness.

"He is dead." she replied with no emotion. "He was stricken by a disease during a battle… It lasted too long; it was painful and horrible to see. In two months he parish." A gloomy silence fell between; Mab was now starring the fine tapestry and Merlin was looking at her in disbelief.

"Liam was Saxon? That's why they agree with the alliance with you?" he resumed the conversation, his voice cracking.

"Alliance?" another wicked smiled was formed in the corner of her mouth. "Merlin, they are not only my allies… They are here because I told them to be here. Liam was the king of the Saxons… I'm their queen."

And then, all the sudden, the time stopped. Merlin looked at her not knowing what to think; who that person was? He went there to find his once best friend and confidant, he went there seeking for a sweet and trustful girl; someone he knew better than anyone. And now this woman was standing in front of him, harsh, brutal and bitter; with words and eyes overflowing with poison. From all the people in the world that couldn't be happening to her… To them!.

"Why you are here, Mab? What's the point of all this?" He was firm this time, he would not let her trick him.

"I was hoping we did not have to address this issue." she breathed impatiently making furious eye contact. "I'm going to destroy it, I'm going to suck every little single drop of life from that kingdom, just like he did with mine." Her voice got higher and more confident. "I'm going to stand on the hill and watch gladly while Camelot parishes." Her voice was like a sharp sword; cruel, ready and lethal. "Oh good! The food has arrived."