Chapter Two

What To Do?

The next morning when Rory got up to get ready to go to school Lorelai was sitting at the kitchen table, looking like she hadn't slept much, if at all.

"Well," Rory asked. "Have you made a decision yet?"

Lorelai shook her head sadly. "No. I don't know what to do."

"Isn't sleeping on a problem supposed to help you solve it?"

"They say. Of course if I actually slept it might have helped."

"You didn't sleep at all?"

"Some. I nodded off a few times but I kept waking up."

"When are you supposed to give Max your answer?"

"Not sure. He didn't give me a time limit, so I've probably got a week."

"And Luke? When are you going to talk to him?"

"I don't know."

"You can't just leave him hanging, you know. You have to tell him something."

"I was thinking about just avoiding the diner altogether for while."

"Mom, you can't do that to Luke. Do you know how hard it must have been for him to say that?"

"I know. It was just so unexpected."

"Do you love Luke?"

"I don't know. Yes, of course I do. Just – not like that, I don't think. But I do know one thing – whatever I say, and whatever I do, someone is going to be hurt. Maybe Max, maybe Luke. But in either case, I will feel like hell because I hurt someone I truly care about."

Rory could see the pain on her mother's face and hear it in her voice and decided she had grilled her enough about it.

"Well, changing the subject. What are you going to do with all those daisies you told me about?"

"It's all taken care of. Even as we speak they are being distributed to everyone in town. Every business is getting a bouquet, and every person gets a handful. I've got Kirk, a few of the inn's porters, and some volunteers handing them out."

"Do you think Luke will take some?"

"Probably not."

"Do you think he'll find out where they came from?"

"Oh, I'm sure he will. I have no doubt Kirk told Miss Patty, and five minutes later all of Stars Hollow knew."

"Then you have go to Luke. You have to tell him something -- anything, but you can't just let him . . . you can't leave him feeling like a fool. He's been too good to us, to both of us. And it's just not right to treat him like that."

"I know, Sweetie. How well I know. You're one hundred percent right. You go on to school. I'll take a shower, make a quick stop at the inn, and then I'll go see Luke."

"Don't talk to him in the diner where other people can hear. Go outside, or upstairs to his apartment."

"Yes, I do know how to be discreet."

"Since when?"

"Since now, okay?"

"Okay. I've got to go or I'll miss my bus. I'll see you this afternoon. And I WILL expect a full report."

"And you'll get it."

Lorelai poured herself another cup of coffee while Rory finished dressing. Rory kissed her on the head and left, reminding her again to go talk to Luke. Lorelai put her head down on the table on her arms folded in front of her. The next thing she knew there was knocking at the front door.

"Rory?" Lorelai said, disoriented. "Did you lose your key?"

But when she opened the front door it was Luke. And not wanting him to come inside, she went out on the porch and closed the door behind her. She had glanced at the clock on her way out and it was after 9:30. She had slept three hours.

"Shouldn't you be at the diner?" Was all she could think of to say. "The breakfast rush is still going on, isn't it?"

"It died down early," Luke replied. "Last night you and Rory left before we could finish our – conversation, because you had something to tell her. And this morning the town is filled with daisies. And Rory went straight to her bus stop without coming into the diner. So I'm thinking there has to be a connection. And I couldn't wait until you decided to show up. So, here I am."

"Luke," Lorelai started to say, but hesitated, not knowing how to explain things that wouldn't hurt him. Finally, deciding the truth would be best, she said, "The daisies came from Max. He asked me to marry him, and that was his way of being romantic."

Luke nodded. "I figured it was something like that after you said you had big news to tell Rory. So, where does that leave us – you and me? Did any of what I said last night mean anything at all to you?"

"Oh, god, Luke, yes! But it was just so sudden. You caught me so off-guard, I didn't know what to say. And I know you wanted an answer, but it's just like with Rory and Dean."

"What do they have to do with anything?"

"The reason they broke up is because Dean told Rory he loved her and she was so – surprised, she couldn't – didn't know how, to answer him. And he got mad about it. And it's the same thing with us. You just sprung this – revelation on me just after Max proposed and I didn't – I still don't, know how to respond. Luke, you know I care about you. You're my best friend. And you've been so good to me and Rory, but . . . ."

Lorelai was finding it hard to speak because she could feel her throat tightening up and her vision was getting a bit blurry from tears she was trying hard not to shed.

"But I can't give you answer. I haven't even given Max an answer. I'm just trying to sort everything out."

Luke wasn't hearing what he wanted to and was having a hard time not getting angry.

"Well, since you haven't told him 'no' then it's pretty apparent you're thinking 'yes'. So have you two decided where you're going to live? Hartford would be closer to Rory's school, but farther from the Independence."

"No, Luke, I don't know. We haven't discussed that."

"Well, who knows how long you'll work after you're married. But you probably already talked about that, right?"

"Luke, I told you we haven't. . . ."

"And you're going to have more kids, right? I mean he wants kids."

"Hi! Personal!"

"So you haven't talked about that either?"

"Okay, what we have and have not discussed is none of your business." Lorelai was now starting to get angry.

"Joint checking accounts?"

"Luke!"

"You do know his last name, don't you?"

"All right, Luke, you want it that way? So fine, here it is – Yes, I have feelings for you. Although right now you probably don't want to know what those feelings are. And I care about Max, a lot. He's a great guy and he loves me and he wants to marry me. And Rory likes him. And maybe I'll say yes, and maybe I'll say no. But whatever I decide is none of your concern. And I'm sorry if that hurts you. And I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear. But there is it."

Luke took a couple of shallow breaths, holding in his anger.

"That's all I needed to know," he said through his clenched teeth, then turned and left the porch and got into his truck, slamming the door and driving off faster than he intended to.

Lorelai took a tired, ragged breath then went back inside to get ready to go to work.

TBC