Miranda stopped the car, her revolver still focused on Shepard.
"You don't have to point a gun at me, sweetie." Shepard said as a man got into the back of the car.
"Stop calling me 'sweetie,' 'dollface,' and every other name you can think of." Miranda said.
"We're not going to get Shepard's help by shoving a gun at him." The man in the back agreed.
Shepard turned to look at him and said "Thank you, Mister...?"
"Taylor. Just call me Jacob."
"Jacob. I assume you know what we're going to do."
"I do."
"Good," Shepard said. "That makes one of us."
The squad drove across town, stopping at a bar.
"Ah, booze. Can't do an important mission without it, eh?" Shepard said.
Miranda's eyes narrowed. "This is a human-only bar, and-"
"I disapprove of human-alien segregation, just for the record." Shepard said, cutting Miranda off.
"We know. Your actions two years ago proved that." Miranda said.
"Hm. Seems you know that I also disapprove of fraternization rules." Shepard said. Miranda gestured for him to get out of the car, and Shepard did as she said. "So, why are we here? It looks rather...deserted."
"It is." Jacob said. "The Collectors took everyone away."
"And we don't know why, or I, one of the best detectives alive, wouldn't be here." Shepard said, pulling brown leather gloves on. He opened the door carefully, then looked around. "Hm. No signs of struggle, and no bodies. The Collectors must be smooth-talkers."
"This isn't anything to joke about." Miranda said.
"Disapprove all you want, you came to me." Shepard said, walking behind the bar and reading the labels. He took a whiskey bottle out, a cup, and ice. Then, he made himself a drink, leaning on the table while talking about a film he had seen. Miranda disapproved, though Jacob began conversing, both having seen the movie.
Once Shepard had finished his drink, Miranda was about to yell at him when, suddenly, he tossed the glass at a door that lead to one of the many bedrooms for the customers that had to sleep off their drinks, making the opener fall back and shut the door in surprise. Shepard slid over the bar, then threw the door open, kicked the quarian in the stomach, and shut the door. He ducked to the side as bullets hit the door, sending splinters into the bar.
"Use your gun!" Miranda shouted.
"Ah. I forgot a had a firearm on me." Shepard said, then calmly opened the door as the quarians were reloading, hand on his firearm. One quarian, however, noticed him.
"Shepard?" Tali asked. "You were dead!"
"Well, there goes my secret." Shepard shrugged, walking in. "You know that you shouldn't be in here? Human-only bar."
"The humans left, so we took over." A quarian said. Shepard had a feeling that he would get those who followed him killed, but didn't mention it. Better to let those stupid enough to follow him die by their own choice. That, and they wouldn't believe anything Shepard said; he smelled of whiskey and kicked one of their team in the gut.
"Fair enough." Shepard said as the quarians once again pointed guns at him.
"This can't be Shepard! He's dead!" The stupid quarian said.
"Is Tali your leader?" Shepard asked.
"Yes." The quarian said. "My name is Prazza."
"I'll put it on your tombstone. Anyways," Shepard said quickly, "Tali, since you lead Prazza, I take it that geth data I gave you helped."
"It did." Tali said. "Weapons down, this is definitely Shepard."
Shepard looked Prazza over and noted the print of his shoe on the quarian's stomach. He had to stifle a laugh as Miranda and Jacob walked into the room.
"Cerberus? You work for gangs now, Shepard?" Tali asked.
"They presented their case in a very convincing, not to mention interesting, way." Shepard said.
"Could you stop acting so much like Shepard and talk like a normal person?" Tali asked.
"I either work for them or I get shot and, most likely, tossed into a ditch." Shepard said.
"Shepard, that's not-" Miranda began.
"Yes, it is." Jacob said. "Lying and threatening Shepard isn't going to get us his help."
"It's worked so far." Miranda disagreed.
"But," Shepard said, "your back is going to be turned one time or another. It's better to have someone watch your back than have someone watch to see when they can put a knife in your back."
"You haven't changed much have you, Shepard?" Tali asked.
"Not at all," Shepard said.