Hi There! There're a few little things I'd like to tell you before you read...

First, thanks to those of you who took the time to review and put this story in you alerts and favorites, it's relly an honor.

Second, I think the updating of this story will be one chapter per month. I know, it's too little but I'm currently trying to focus on correcting my other story Rising of the Heart in order to keep posting it since it's been on a looooooong hiatus. Nonetheless, if I see the time to squeeze another chapter for NtbAO throughtout the month, you'll be the first to know ;)

And withot anything else to say, I'll leave you to it...

Chapter 2: I AIN'T NO CHILD

Two soft knocks on my door brought me back to the present. I smell Emmett's scent intensify, and know it was him the one to knock.

I hadn't left my room in four days. I hadn't seen nor spoken to anybody in the same time – with the exception of mom.

I couldn't bring myself to look at any of them in the eye. I was too embarrassed to do it. And not for what I did, but for being caught at it. For God's sake! What I did was normal! It is even healthy… and I am and hormonal teenager.

But then I thought it was time to face things like and big girl, if I wanted to be treated like one.

And if you're doing things, only big girls should do. Then you may as well act as one.

I'm afraid that I'm agreeing way too many times with you lately.

Of course you do, I'm yourself… just a little smarter.

I mentally narrowed my eyes at myself.

Stop making faces at yourself and let Emmett in.

I sighed and took a deep long breath.

"Come in," I said hoping he would just not laugh at me this time. I was still a little pissed off about that, but considering all things together, it was the least to worry about.

The door opened slowly and Emmett picked his head through the crack.

"Hey," I said trying to sound the better I could.

"Hey," he answered and seemed relieved that I had greeted him in some way. And it made me sad that I had been treating all of them badly… well, not exactly, since treating them badly would imply some treating. And I simply wasn't treating them at all.

"May I come in?" he asked still standing by the door. I sighed and nodded patting him to sit on my bed. He looked like I had gave him a ticket to Yellow Stone to meet Yogui Bear and BooBoo Bear in person, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh God! You actually have teeth!" he said in mocked surprise as I smiled to him.

"Shut up," I laughed and threw him a pillow "And thank that God of yours I'm not venomous 'cause I would bite you till it burns."

"Why don't you bite Jacob better? I'm sure he wouldn't mi-" I looked down, all trace of laugher out. But he must have seen my face, because he cursed under his breath and then sighed. "Look Nessie…" He reached and put a hand on my knee. When I didn't pulled away he continued "…I'm an ass, you know that right?" I hid a smile and nodded "Good. Because it's true. I am an insensible ass. I'm not Carlisle with his kindness. I'm not Edward with his mind-reading. And I'm not Jasper with his mood control. I'm just Emmett being an ass with his jokes," he started matter of factly. I looked up and saw his face completely at ease. I frowned.

"You're not an ass, if you were a complete ass, I wouldn't have left you into my room," I said.

"Whoa, whoa… slow down there girl… I'm not saying I'm a complete ass. I'm just saying I'm and ass," I smiled. He moved closer to hug me and I didn't fight. "I'm sorry Messy," he mumbled on my hair and I smiled weakly at the nickname of my nickname he had given me a while ago. "I shouldn't have laughed, though I really wasn't laughing at you. And about the other thing…"

"What were you laughing at?" I asked in an attempt to change the subject. He noticed, of course, but let go.

"Well, I was laughing at a memory, well, few memories actually," he chuckled once.

"What memories?" I asked.

"Human memories, some of the few I still have."

"About what?" I pressed. It felt good to talk about something that didn't involve me and that day.

"About all the times my parents, my sister and once my aunt caught me masturbating," he said nonchalant. I groaned and pulled pull out of his chest.

"Emmett…" I whined.

"Hey! Don't blame me. You wanted to know, I told you."

"Yes bu-"

"I know how you feel," he said, stopping me in my tracks. I didn't know if I should believe him or just laugh at his face for that statement. Emmett, the person most sexually active I've known. How could he know how I feel?

"Look, I know what you're thinking. And I'd probably think the same being in your place. But you know what? All of us went through the stage you're going through. Just that, thankfully, we didn't had a house full of creatures with enhanced senses." He chuckled once and I groaned "But like I said, that didn't keep me to being caught. At least you were being just heard and not caught with your hand on the… package"

"Wait… but you guys saw me… I mean, I heard the door being closed and the steps on the stairs"

"No, we didn't see you, it was only – " Emmett stopped himself before continue. I glared at him.

"Emmett," I warned slowly.

"Uh-uh… no telling Messy," he shook his head fervently.

"Emmett, tell me," I gave him my doe eyes, he, Charlie and Jacob were the ones that could never resist my doe eyes.

"Danm it, don't do that. You're not playing fair," he said closing his eyes. I sighed in resignation.

"Fine" I grumbled. He picked with one eye to be sure I didn't have my doe face on, and then opened both.

"So… you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No," I mumbled.

"But I take it that Jake didn't know you did that… I mean, by the shocked look in his face," he said nonchalantly. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"No," I mumbled again. "It was the first time… well, not really. I mean, Oh God! Why I'm talking this to you?"

"Because you need to talk about it with someone; and since I'm the only one that had seen your face in four days besides Bella and she was quite shocked by your, erm… way… to describe things. So she didn't know how to approach things…"

"Oh God…" I groaned and put my hand on my face. Seriously, was there something more I could do to embarrass myself in front of my family?

"Oh please Messy! It's no big deal… I mean, yes we all heard you moan and yell Jacob's name as you orgasmed, so what? I do that every night with Rossie – I don't moan Jacob's name of course – We all knew you were masturbating thinking about Jacob, so what? We all have done that, at least once in our life. Hell, I bet that if you asked Carlisle, even he had done it – I mean, not thinking of Jacob. But you get the idea – Seriously, Renesmee. It. Is. Not. Big. Deal. Get out of this room and go get Jacob, so he can make you orgasm personally," I heard a growl that recognized as dad's downstairs. Emmett was breathing hardly when he ended his speech, as though he was really out of breath for saying all that in one row.

I, in the other hand, had nothing to say. Because, yes, I was beyond ashamed and embarrassed. But looking at all the facts from another perspective, I was being immature and childish by just hiding here in my room without wanting to see anyone.

"You know, some of the things you said I neither wanted nor needed to hear and especially not have the mental images in my head," I shook my head trying to erase a masturbating Emmett – Gross… he's my uncle.

"Well maybe I should help you out with that and tell you something you really want to hear," he said smirking. He bended over and whispered in my ear "I know of a werewolf I'm sure as hell, loved your display. Even though he didn't show it… At least publicly."

I could bet my life that in that moment my face was as red as a lobster, because only thinking that Jacob had enjoyed what I did… sent shivers all around my body – Good shivers. Very good shivers.

Emmett kissed my forehead and stood up. He was by the door when I called him. "Emmett," he looked back at me "Only an ass could have pulled me out of the room," I said smiling.

"Well them I'm glad I'm your ass," he chuckled and winked at me as he exited the room leaving the door ajar.

For a moment, I stayed there sitting on my bed, thinking about my conversation with Emmett. After a while I took a deep breath and followed him.

There was no one on the hallway, so I imagined that they were downstairs. I descended the staircase particularly slowly, still dreading facing them.

When we moved, mom and dad decided they wanted us to move with the rest of the family, because even though we three were a little family within a family, we didn't want to stay far away from the others. So grandma made arrangements and found this huge house that was isolated from any other in the adjacencies.

My room was on the third floor as was my parents' and a study – which I didn't used often since most of my homework I did it at Jake's – that floor was considered ours upon Esme insistence. In the second floor were Emmett and Rosalie's room, Alice and Jasper's and a playroom that was mostly used by Emmett, Jasper and Jacob. That left Carlisle and Esme's room on the lower floor. They had decided to take some time on their own to travel and visit some of the fellow covens, leaving the house to the other three couples, Jacob and me.

As I landed on the living room it struck me as estrange that there was no one in there or in the kitchen. I tried the library and the mini screening room located on the main floor getting the same result. When I was sure that there was no one inside the house, I went to the backyard.

It was chilly out there. But, what was I expecting? It was the middle of December, and I was wearing only my PJ's and slippers no having it in me to wear anything dressier.

I was disconcerted when I found no one out there either… Where were the people around here?

I took a glance over at the guest house wondering if maybe Jacob was there. I made my way to the door and took a deep breath before knocking twice. I had no idea what Jacob would say or how he would react, both to me not seeing him in four days and to the… well to the other thing.

The door swung open and Jacob stood there as beautiful as ever; a pair of sweatpants, no t-shirt, his shoulder-long hair falling on his face and dripping wet a little. I felt a jolt of electricity shot through me, sending a little shiver through all my body. His first reaction was shock, which was fast replaced by a smile and then he threw his arms to me.

"God, baby, you must be frizzing out there," he said wrapping me in his arms and closing the door after we were both inside. It wasn't after I felt his warm body pressed against me, that I realized I was shivering. I wrapped my arms around his waist as well and rested my head in his chest, breathing his scent.

How I missed this, I thought.

"I'm sorry," I murmured the first thing that came to my mind, not sure what else to say.

"Why would you apologize for? For frizzing?" he said with a hint of amusement in his voice as he led me to the couch on the living room. He sat down, still with his arm around me.

"No," I took a glance at his face and then looked down again "I don't know, I – I didn't like to stay away from you," I admitted. Staying away from him these days was even harder than to face the embarrassment that would come when I face the rest of the family.

"I didn't like that either," even though he said it softly, I felt the twinge of guilt in my stomach "But you're here now and besides, you needed time right? You needed to stay away… So, it's okay"

"No! I didn't need to stay away! I mean, it's just that…" God, the last thing I wanted was for him to think that I needed to stay away from him. If there was something I needed and always would need, was to stay with him "It's just that… it was embarrassing"

"There's no need for you to be embarrassed around me, Ness. I want you to trust me," he assured me softly and I nodded my head.

"I do. I really do. You know that," I assured him back. And it was true. I could trust him with my life, and I know I'd be perfectly fine.

"Good," he replied smiling at me.

"Where's everybody?" I asked after a while.

"Hmmm, I don't know. They're not in the house?" he asked confused. I shook my head. "Oh," It's all he said.

There's an awkward silence, or at least awkward for me. It's really unnerving, because this it's not how my relationship, my friendship with Jacob is or used to be. There has never been anything awkward with between us. I had never felt that there was something I could not talk with him. And it makes me sad, because it's my fault that things between us are like that now. Even though the reason why I don't feel comfortable talking with him about this is out of sheer embarrassment, rather that lack of trust.

Is the embarrassment and fear, of what he would think of me if I tell him that all I can think about is how he kisses me, how he touches me – not that there has been much of that. And that's the point.

I want there to be more of that – much more of that.

But what would he think if I told him that? That I'm a horny little girl that can't keep her mind out of the gutter.

Not that it's a lie, but it isn't just that. It's that I want to have all those experiences with him.

"Baby, you're killing me here," Jake groaned beside me, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Hmmm, sorry… I was just thinking"

"About…?" he asked looking at me hopefully.

"Hmmm… nothing, really" I said biting my lip – yeah, nervous habits can be inherited. I think.

"Right," he eyed me for a moment with a dubious look in his eyes, before he lets out a long sigh "So, what you want do?"

I got in my knees and inched closer to him on the couch, before wrap my arms around his neck smiling at him.

"I dunno. What you wanna do?" I asked. He smiled back to me noticing the change in me. Noticing me being myself.

"I can think only one thing I want to do right now. I've being wanting to do it for days now." he whispered, placing a hand in my waist, caressing it lightly with him thumb.

"And what's that?" I asked as he caressed my face with his other hand. I feel my heartbeat rise. Like every time he touches me, speaks to me, or even looks in my direction.

"I want to kiss you," he said caressing my lower lip with his thumb. I looked briefly to his lips – full, luscious, slightly parted – and then back to his brown, deep eyes.

"Then do it," I whispered in his cheek, as I felt my heart beat even faster.

He turned his face slightly, placing little kisses across my cheek, each time coming closer to my awaiting mouth. Then he softly brushed his lips mine as his hand move to my middle back holding me firmly.

"I love you, Ness," he breathed against my lips, bathing me with his breath. My heart skipped a beat and I felt a jolt of energy in the pit of my stomach just from hearing those words. I guess that from now on it would always be that way every time he says them.

"I love you, too," I whispered, cupping his cheek in my hand before leaning in and kiss him again. Our lips move in synchrony, like they do every time. His tongue brushed my lower lip, asking for entrance, which I eagerly conceded.

My hands move of their own accord to the back his neck and my fingers tangle into his hair at the time that his hands move to my waist once again. I moaned as he pushed me flushed against his body, moving one of his hands to my thigh.

"Jake…" I whispered against his mouth in encouragement which, apparently, he misunderstood and broke the kiss, breathing heavy.

"Sorry," he removed the hand that was on my thigh as he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the couch.

That's the moment I realized that if I wanted things to move forward between us, I had to take the first step. It's me who has to set the rhythm. Because I knew Jacob would never push me to rush things. And since, apparently, I was too much of a coward to tell him that I wanted to take a step forward.

You can always show him, you know?

In that moment I couldn't love my internal voice more.

With my new resolution, I detangled my hand from his hair and ran my fingers across his face, tracing each line, seeing as his features relax under my touch. I caressed from his forehead to his chin, paying special attention to his eyelids and lips.

Then I placed little kisses across his face as my fingers moved forward to his neck, going down to his chest, his shoulders, his arms… Every cell of my body aware that his not wearing a shirt, that the skin of his upper body is entirely at my disposal.

I trace my lips along his neck, placing soft kisses in there. My caress barely a whisper against his pulse point, his throat, that place behind his right ear…

"Jake…" I whisper, my lips brushing his earlobe. I hear his heartbeat speed and sense him shiver a little "…I missed you" he takes a deep breath, still with his eyes closed. And I know he's trying to control himself, but that's the point – I don't want him to control himself.

In a bold move, I straddle him. I feel the change I him, he tenses and from my peripheral view I see his hands clutched to the fabric of the couch, his jaw clenched. My hands moved from his shoulders to his arms, then to his own hands and took them in mines, placing them slowly in my hips. I hesitantly retired my hands– not sure if Jake was going to freak out or something. Though, who should've been freaking out was me, – but he just leave his hands there; and then tentatively caressing my hipbones with his thumbs, sending shivers through my spine and at the same time giving me hopes that this was not a lost cause.

I took my hands back to his shoulders and kneaded then slowly – coaxing him to relax, before kissing his neck once again while one of his hands move to my lower back, pulling me closer to him.

And that's when I knew it was possible to get I wanted – what I needed.

I made my way upwards with my lips, reaching his, and placed a little kiss in the corner of his mouth before leaning back slightly, just so I could look at his face.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?" he murmured, still with his eyes closed and both of his hand just above my butt.

"Look at me," I whispered. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked into mines.

An audible little gasp escaped my lips at the intensity present in his eyes, sending my heart to over drive. They weren´t their usual tone of brown. They were darker; much, much darker, almost black; and bottomless, like he was staring straight to my soul.

They were filled with so many emotions that it was hard to name them all. But there was one that I could identify easily.

Lust.

Something I hadn't seen in him with such intensity before. But there it was.

And it was for me.

Because of me.

I had to take a few breaths, because the fact that I could make him feel that way was a shock to me. Not that it should be. But it was. And I was supposed to be the calmed one at the moment.

And though I definitely wanted to see that lust in his eyes, I didn't want to freak out, so I tried to concentrate on the familiar things I found in them.

Like the love he had always had for me, that throughout the years has transformed in something that was beyond love. The comprehension and understanding we had always had…

I simply saw Jacob.

My Jacob.

So I knew that whatever fears I might had – whether it was me thinking I wasn't prepared to take our relationship forward or the embarrassment I might feel for what happened – were unfounded. I knew, in that moment, looking into his eyes, that no matter what I did, I would never found judgment in them.

With my realization giving me a new found courage, I leaned in to kiss him once again. This time more passionately, with something inside of me that was desperate to be released.

He returned my kiss hesitantly at first, probably taken aback from the intensity of it; but when my tongue made contact with his upper lip, he gave in with a groan and opened his mouth for me. Our tongues moved together in a dance of passion and love. My hands tangled in his hair, his moved all over my back bringing me flush against his chest till no even air could pass between us, and even then, it was not enough.

Not close enough.

I moved, trying to get closer, and that's when I felt it.

"Oh, God…" I moaned, breaking off the kiss as he groaned and stilled our movements.

He was hard, so hard. He felt so big and hot and hard against me. And he was just where I needed him to be. For a moment the only sounds in the room came from our labored breathing and our frantic heartbeats.

This hunger I was feeling was something I've had only tastes of. It had never been like this, never this strong, never this consuming, never in its full force.

Never like in that moment.

And I knew the only one that could ever satiate my hunger was Jacob.

I grounded my hips against him one more time, just for the sheer need to feel him again. And there he was again, hard and big and hot and creating the most delicious pressure against my center.

"Ness," he groaned. God, his voice was so different… hoarser, deeper. It created goose bumps in my skin.

My hips started to move against him on their own volition as a reaction to his voice, to his sight – his hands stilled on my waist, head thrown back against the couch, eyes closed, a little frown between his eyebrows, lips slightly parted, nostrils flaring at the same rhythm that his chest heaved with every labored breath his took.

"Ness," he groaned again, this time moving his hands to my hips and stopping my movements all together but at the same time pushing me down into his lap, effectively creating more pressure where I needed it and making me groan in response.

I thought he was encouraging me, but when I realized that he wasn't going to do anything else I grounded my hips one more time, making the both of us moan. It seemed that the only sounds we were able to master were those of animals. Not that cared in that moment.

Once again, he stilled my movements, this time pushing me backwards a little.

"God, Ness. What you doing, baby?" He asked in a strained tone.

"Isn't it obvious?" I punctuated my question with another little roll of my hips, which he promptly stopped once again.

"Baby, I – I don't think we should. This isn't right," this time he opened his eyes, the look in them imploring. I could be sure if it was for me to stop or to continue.

I was prepared to this; I knew he would not relent that easily. But what I wasn't prepared for was the feel of rejection his words caused me. Then I thought how I must look like, throwing myself at him, desperate, needy…

Tears that had been menacing to spell since four days ago came once again at my eyes making my sight blur.

"Oh, no. Please don't cry, baby. Don't cry," he soothed.

"I'm not crying," I mumble turning my head to the window.

"Yes you are," He argued.

"I'm not!" I glared at him. He smiles.

"No?" He pretends to ponder this for a moment before he says, "Then it must be me looking through a water wall."

Is he trying to be funny? Because if that's the case, then he's not achieving it.

"Not funny?" He asks with feigned hurt.

"Do you see me laughing?" I retort cocking an eyebrow.

"That's so cool, I always wanted to learn to do that," then he begins to make faces trying to cock a single eyebrow.

I don't say anything.

Because it makes me angry. Because what we did minutes ago, or what I was trying to do minutes ago, was serious – at least for me. Because he's trying to distract me from it. And because I don't want to be distracted.

So I make the move to stand up.

He caught me by the waist still making faces and asks "Where're you going?"

"Home," I say simply.

He finally stops making faces and trying to cock a single eyebrow, all traces of mockery gone.

"Why?"

"Because I want to go home," I answer.

He frowns. "I thought I was your home."

I look at him for a long time trying to decide if he's being serious or if this is just another way to distract me. He's serious, I can tell and looking at his face only makes tears come to my eyes once again. I don't even know the reason they're there right now yet, I ground my teeth to stop me from crying. But it useless this time, I know, and I feel the warm wetness spilling from my eyes and hitting my cheeks till they reach my chin in tiny rivulets.

"Come here," Jake whispers hugging me to him.

My face goes naturally to the crook of his neck while his chin rests atop my head, his big long arms circling me, evolving me and making me feel save, protected, cared for, loved. Making me feel… at home.

With him holding me, I feel like I'm a little child again. And it's confusing getting this feeling even though I know I'm not a little child anymore.

"Do you think of me as a child?" I ask moments later, after I've calmed down a bit, my voice barely a whisper.

He doesn't answer for a while and I begin to think he won't answer me at all when he says, "I used to think of you as that, but I can't anymore," There's something in his voce that makes me look up. There's a sorrow in his face I can't really place, it's almost as if the thought… pained him.

"Do you want to think of me as a child?" I ask this time.

He frowns a little and takes his time in answering. All the while, there's a part of me that dreads his answer.

"Sometimes I think it'd be easier, simpler if I did. If I'd thought of you as the little baby who loved to crush silvery and play with snow, as the little girl who'd only go hunting if we made a match of it or the one that used to beg me to ride on my back as we ran…"

"Hey! I still like to ride on you!" I interrupted and then flushed taking notice of what I said, but if Jake catched the double meaning, he only smiled at it and didn't comment.

"There're will always be a part of me that will think of you as a child… No, look at me," He took my chin between his fingers and gently lifted my face, "I think I used the wrong words. There're will always be a part of me that will remember you as a child. And I will always want to remember you as a child. But, do I think of you as a child?" He took a deep breath, and then shake his head, "No, definitely not."

"Good," I said smiling, "'Cause I'm no child anymore." And I plan on showing you just that, I thought.

"Oh, I know, the Lord knows that I know," he groaned at that. The sound making things in me reawake… and bringing something to my fore mind, something from that night four days ago.

So... How did you like it? Leave me your thoughts ;)

See you next time, Nana.