The car ride to the clinic had been uncomfortable, to say the least. She needed Tom, but she didn't know how to patch the rift that had formed between them. He had warned her to think of Frank and Leo. She had ignored him. She had begged him not to let Michael come to Boston. He had ignored her. And now, Michael had left the cast, putting the show in jeopardy. The blogs were all talking about Rebecca Duvall's departure and now word of Michael's exit was stirring debate about the longevity of the show as well as the fidelity of its book-writer. One young reviewer went so far as to say, "With the leading players dropping like flies and Ms. Houston's crumbling personal life, it seems to me that Bombshell will never live up to its' potential but instead be relegated to that place were so many would-be musicals go to die." The one thing she had left, and it was slipping away. She couldn't even look Tom in the eye. She wasn't even sure why. Was it frustration and anger, or shame and guilt that held her tongue?
Julia sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair in mute misery. Tom sat next to her, trying to get her to talk.
"Come on, Jules. You have to talk to me sometime."
"There is nothing to say."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put the show ahead of you. I had no idea things would spiral out of control…"
"But I did!"
Tom stopped and blinked at the vehemence of her interruption.
"I know. I should have listened. I'm sorry."
Tom's phone rang, and he looked at the caller ID before turning it off.
"Who was that? Eileen again?"
"Attila the Hun."
"Derek's not that bad!"
It was so much easier to talk about work.
"You know I'm here for you Julia, when you want to talk."
"Why? What on earth would I want to talk about? I lost my husband. I lost my baby. I sent away a man who loves me. And Leo won't even look me in the eye. So unless you want to talk to me about Bombshell, I don't want to talk."
"Well, Eileen likes the new ending so much she wants to rework the shadow selves into…"
Before he finished the sentence, a nurse stepped around the corner and called, "Julia?"
Julia grabbed Tom's hand, knowing none of this was his fault. "Come with me."
"Eeew. I better not have to see any girly parts."
"Oh shut up. Just stand by my head and make stupid jokes about the doc's bald spot."
"He has a bald spot?"
"Oh yes, shaped like New Jersey."
It was so much easier to pretend like none of this had happened.
When Dr. Aspen approached the exam room door, he had no idea what to expect. The doctor from Boston had called last week to let him know that Mrs. Houston would be coming in for follow-up after a miscarriage. He conveyed all the relevant medical details, but then he asked Dr. Aspen if he could tell him some things "off the record." Dr. Aspen had been treating Julia for years. He'd delivered Leo, and held her hand through years of secondary infertility. He imagined a miscarriage must have been a crushing blow, but he was unprepared for what the doctor said next.
"I was in the ER when they brought her in. She had passed out mid-coitus. They were both covered in blood, and he was horrified. I assumed he was her husband, the way he clung to her. It wasn't until someone named Tom came in and started yelling…"
"Thank you, doctor. I appreciate the information. I will tread lightly when she comes in."
"There's a little more, but it's not good." He paused. "I overheard her husband yelling. It sounded like he was leaving. And I heard her threaten to kill her lover if he so much as touched her again. He left in tears."
"Good Lord, she must be a mess…"
"Thank you, doctor. I appreciate your call."
With the memory of that phone call fresh in his mind, Dr. Aspen was surprised when he opened the door. Julia was sitting on the table, giggling with a man he had never met. They both fell instantly silent at his entrance, but locked eyes and smirked at an inside joke.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Aspen."
"Tom," he replied, shaking the doctor's hand.
"I see you're taking good care of my patient."
Julia's face fell. Obviously the moment of mirth had been short-lived.
"Well," Dr. Aspen went on awkwardly. "I'm going to do a visual exam as well as a vaginal ultrasound. Have you had any cramping or passed ay large clots?"
Julia leaned back and directed her answers to the ceiling as Dr. Aspen conducted the exam.
"No, not since I left Boston."
"Good, good. Have you noticed any other symptoms? Fever? Swelling? Difficulty urinating?"
"No."
"Things appear to be healing up nicely, although the cervix still looks a bit blue." Dr. Aspen turned his attention to the ultrasound machine. "That might not return to normal until after your next menstrual cycle."
He focused on the screen, hitting a few keys here and there as he talked.
"How has your mood been?"
"Sunshine and roses, doc. What do you think?"
"After a miscarriage, or any pregnancy really, the hormones can fluctuate wildly, and mild depression isn't uncommon. I think it might help if I give you a prescription for some Zoloft. It's a antidepressant that really helps even out those post-partum hormones."
Dr. Aspen stopped talking and focused all of his attention on the ultrasound machine.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Houston, but I'd like to do an abdominal ultrasound as well. I can't quite visualize the uterine contents as well as I'd like because the cervical tissue is still unusually dense, likely a side effect of the ectopic implantation site."
"What?"
"Can you pull up your shirt? It looks like some swelling in the cervix is preventing full uterine evacuation. We may need to schedule you for a full D&C. I'd like to get a better look."
The room filled with awkward silence. Julia held her breath as the doctor prepared the machine to use the abdominal transducer.
"Please, God, just let this be over."
Tom squeezed her hand.
Dr. Aspen worked silently for a moment before whispering, "Well look at that."
Tom and Julia looked at the screen while the doctor pointed at a bean shaped squiggle on the monitor.
"It's another fetus. And it still has a heartbeat. Unbelievable."