Previously on Roy's Stupid Road Trip Plan…
"Hurry up you dipwads!!! You wouldn't want to catch any traffic! Move your bloomin' asses!!!" Mustang yells at his men. "We're all set for the trip sir! But all we need is a HUGE food supply!" Lieutenant Breda said while put his things into the car. "We'll get food on the way! FULLMETAL!!! Get in the car!!! Or no beer!!" Mustang starts the engine. "COLONEL!!! I'M COMING! FOR THE BEER!" Edward jumps into the car and Mustang drives off.
Chapter 2: The Awkward Ride
"URG! Mustang! I though you said you had a bigger car than before!!!" Edward complained because of the little space in the car (Ed had to sit on Breda's lap). "Fullmetal, I don't complain about YOUR small stature, and YOUR small space in your brain that couldn't even fit my reminders!!!" Said Mustang annoyed. "So Colonel, Where do we go to first?" Havoc said trying to light his cigarette. "We're gonna be stopping at a place called LAS VEGAS!" Mustang answered Havoc with a grin. "Las Vegas? Never heard of it! What is that place? A military hideout? I bet it's just like Mustang's crap shack! HAHAHAHA!" Edward always made fun of anything Mustang would say, especially if it was something he liked. "Edward, you haven't heard of Vegas?" Breda asked as if Ed didn't know what his own name was. "Nope! I've never heard of that stupid place! I don't even know what you do there! Speaking of which, what do you do there?" Ed was puzzled. "Well, for starters, it's a place where everyone gambles! It's got money, food and especially…HOT BABES!!!" Mustang, Havoc and Breda said altogether. They were all laughing right after that, but then Ed had to side comment. "What's so special about money, food and hot babes?" "Obviously, someone hasn't been outside his room…" Havoc rolled his eyes. "Hey brother, if what I thought they meant by 'hot babes' were girls, then you could get a girlfriend there!" Alphonse said elbowing his brother. "And what makes you so sure that I want one, huh, Al??" Edward raised an eyebrow. "Ed! By now, you SHOULD get one! I mean COME ON! You must be an idiot not to want a girlfriend!!!" Mustang said trying to convince Ed. "Well, Mustang, I don't really want one! What if I think girls are just creatures trying to get money out of your pockets?!?!?! Do I still need a girlfriend??" Ed raised his eyebrow higher. "Well that simply means you're an idiot! I'm DYING to get a girlfriend!" Mustang replies. "But Roy, I thought you have a relationship with Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye?" Breda says with a slight chuckle. "Well, she's not here so I might as well get a new girlfriend, right?" Mustang Grinned nervously. Everyone stared at him. "Hey! What are you looking at, Dickheads?!?!" Mustang stopped grinning. Everyone else kept quiet after that very awkward conversation.
By the time they got, at least, five kilometers more till Las Vegas, Edward started another conversation with his unnecessary side comments. "Mustang! Where are we?!?! How long till we get to Las Vegas?!?! I'm bored!!! There's nothing to do!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!?!?!" "Calm down, Fullmetal! Five kilometers more! Be patient!" Mustang stopped Ed. "Brother, what are you so excited about anyway?" Alphonse asked. "Al, I'm bored hungry and we're broke, on the way, I was thinking: 'Hey, maybe Las Vegas won't be so bad after all!' so I decided to get excited for it. Besides, I'm gonna get BEER!" Ed rubs his hands together as if he was a dude with an evil plan. "Hey Ed, Why are you so hungry?" Havoc asked. "Do I have to ask these stupid questions? I'm hungry coz the last time I ate was like…six hours ago!!! I need to eat to survive!!!" Edward grunted. "Hey Ed, why are you so mad?" Breda asked. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!!!" Ed loses his temper. "BEHAVE, FULLMETAL! WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR HUGE PIE HOLE TILL WE GE TO LAS VEGAS!!!" Mustang seemed to have lost his temper too. "SHEESH! You guys! Why don't we just play a simple game while we wait?" Havoc got them to shut up (finally). "Hey! Why don't we play the plate number game?" Alphonse said. "Um…Alphonse…there are no other cars on this road…" Breda said. "Don't you guys think that we're being to 'inside the box'? We should think about better things to do! Like talk about what we could do in Las Vegas!" Havoc thought. "Ok. Very good idea Jean. When I see a woman, I'm going straight to asking her on a date!!!" Mustang grinned once more. "Well, when I see a woman, I'm gonna ask her about herself first, then I ask her out!" Havoc grinned too. "I'm not gonna talk to a girl! I'm gonna eat till my stomach is filled with gourmet food!" Breda ad the biggest grin. "I'm gonna try gambling!" Ed had a weird thought of him winning millions of money. "Brother! Don't get any bad ideas!!!" Alphonse said trying to get his brother back to earth.
When Mustang finally drove into an arch saying WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS, Ed made yet another side comment. "Mustang! What is this place?!?! Neon-Ville?" "Oh Fullmetal! I thought you were excited to get to Las Vegas! Now shut up and let me drive!" Mustang was focusing on the road. "Over there, Roy! A luxurious looking hotel! I Wanna stay in that one!" Havoc was pointing out the window. "Sure thing Jean, Let me find a parking space first." Mustang looked for a parking space while everyone else were looking at the cool looking cars around them. "Hey! Check that car out! OH! And that one!" Everyone said.
By the time Mustang finally got a parking space two bell boys came running towards them and took their bags. "HEY! PUT THOSE BAGS DOWN YOU DIPWADS!!!" Edward screamed at their faces. "Fullmetal, those people are supposed to take your bags! Um…Sorry bell boys. This kid just won't shut his mouth." Mustang Apologized to the bell boys.
The men used the gold plated elevator and lead the bell boys to the front desk to get a room. "Fullmetal, promise me that you keep your mouth shut when we get to the front desk. Got it?" Mustang pointed at Ed's chest. "Yes sir! I'll be loyal for the beer. "Very good, Fullmetal. Now let's go get a room."
When they got to the front desk, Mustang ringed the bell. A Familiar woman answered them.
Who might that woman be? Find out on the next chapter of Roy's Stupid Road trip Plan