tfw you feel like you type for a long time but only type like 1800 words

oh well

Time for P.E. class the next day.

Cartman didn't know if he hated this or math more.

He hated it before, but it was now another reflection of his growing insecurity.

They started out running laps.

Oh Cartman hated running.

Everyone in the class claimed to hate it but the dirty blonde felt as though he was the stick in the mud when he was the one being constantly lapped. Sometimes Kenny would slow himself down and run backwards in front of Cartmanー he claimed it was to keep him company but he knew it was only to give him shitー but it wasn't enough anymore.

Cartman could feel his heart pounding viciously as he forced his legs to keep moving. It had only been a couple of minutes into the running, but he was already on the verge of passing out. He really needed to exercise more.

He never would've imagined he'd have those thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Stan came up behind Cartman as they continued jogging laps around the gym, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Nu-uh," Cartman replied forcefully, taking in precious gasps of air. "This is bullcrap! Coach is tryin'a kill me with this!"

"Maybe you should tell him you're not feeling well," Stan suggested, jogging a bit quicker to run next to Cartman before slowing down to meet his pace.

Normally, Cartman would've done such a thing to get out of physical activities. But he was dating the best football player in their school now. Not only their school, but all the local high schools in Colorado. Cartman figured physical fitness was important to Stan and made a quiet oath to dedicate himself to it. But why did it have to be torture?

"Nah... I got this...," Cartman huffed, his arms swinging carelessly at his sides as he began to waddle in his running, trying to pick up the pace.

"Cartman, be careful," he heard Stan call to him, but he was determined to prove himself and kept going. He became concerned when he realized he was experiencing tunnel vision and he could hear his own heart beat. Everything went black for awhile after that.

He woke up with a pounding headache, but he felt much cooler and more relaxed than he did in the gym. He blinked his brown eyes open to find himself laying in bed in the nurse's office, a fan blowing on him.

"You're awake!" Stan exclaimed. Cartman hadn't even noticed the hippie sitting in a chair beside his bed, wetting a cool cloth and placing it to the larger male's forehead.

"Nnhh... I must have died and gone to heaven, because there's an angel here," Cartman snickered at his own cheesy line before going into a groaning fit of pain.

Stan smiled as a small blush appeared on his cheeks. "You're a corny bastard."

"Ay, when did angels start wearin' red shorts and gray v-necks? I mean it's sexy as hell, but damn." Cartman referred to Stan who was still in his gym clothes.

"I don't think that's heavenly language," Stan leaned down to place a small kiss on Cartman's cheek with a smile.

"Well if I'm rewarded like that for it, I'll keep it goin.'" He chuckled and sat up on the bed. "What the hell happened?" He asked as he pressed the cloth to his forehead.

"I think you worked yourself too much," Stan's smile was gone, replaced by a look of concern. "You must've lost your sense of direction. You ran right into the bleachers and tripped over. Knocked you right out."

"Hah!" Cartman quickly covered up his embarrassment at his stunt. "I did it on purpose to get out of running."

"Uh-huh," Stan rolled his eyes. "Need anything?"

Cartman chuckled and took the rag off his head. "Water."

Stan nodded and retrieved a glass of water for his out-of-shape boyfriend, and Cartman swallowed it all quickly and greedily.

"Ahh," he tossed the plastic cup aside and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "That hit the spot. Thanks, cutie."

"No problem, Eric," Stan smiled as he replied as he picked up the thrown cup and placed it in the garbage can. "By the way, since when do you pace yourself in P.E. like that? I thought you hated it."

Cartman looked at his fiddling hands in his lap. He sighed, not about to lie to Stan's face. "Well, you're so athletic, and I'm... not. I guess I wanted to impress you. Stupid, huh?" He laughed nervously and put the rag back on his forehead, but let some of it slide down to cover his face. "Is it hot in here or what?"

Cartman felt his hand behind gingerly tugged away from the cloth, letting it fall, and was pierced by Stan's blue eyes, that were filled with sympathy.

"Cartman, you don't need to do that," Stan said, taking the larger male's hand in his own and rubbing it soothingly with his thumb. "I like you the way you are."

Cartman smiled at that, but didn't look Stan in the eyes.

"Really. I don't know what you see in me to feel the need to do that. I'm far fromー"

Cartman put a large finger to Stan's mouth.

"Don't start that shit," Cartman mumbled.

Stan's eyelids dropped a little. "Kay."

Cartman returned to the locker room, gym class had just ended by the time he felt good enough to excuse himself from the nurse's office. He managed to get both feet on the floorー after resisting the wave of nausea that hit him. There was a clique in the center of the locker room that Stan returned to and caught up with Kyle, who was standing there talking to some of the other boys as they changed into their normal clothes.

Cartman avoided large groupsーhe still had an animosity towards people in generalー even if it was something he needed to change about himself to keep a stable relationship with Stan and Kyle. He'd ease into it eventually. For now, he preferred to be alone, especially when it came to revealing himself.

He pulled his gray v-neck over his headーnormally he'd have gone to the bathroom stalls to change, so nobody would see his body, but he figured they were all distracted enough to not care.

Cartman couldn't help but peer over to the tall mirror on the wall next to him. He had a nasty bruise on his forehead, but it would go away soon enough. His eyes traveled down to his bust, which was pooling down as if his skin were trying to run away from his bones. He sighed heavily as a new wave of insecurity swept over him again as he stared at his overweight reflection. He wondered if it was because he was slouching, and tried changing positions.

On the other side of the room where the larger group was chatting, a particular redhead couldn't help but notice the actions being performed by Eric Cartman. His emerald green eyes curiously watched Eric make poses in front of the mirror. He wondered if maybe he was checking himself outー which wouldn't have surprised him back in elementary schoolーbut something was different. Kyle could sense a look of disapproval and sadness in Cartman's eyes as he gazed upon himself.

The ginger tilted his head, continuing to watch the other male. The site kind of made his heart sting. It was hard to watch Cartman have feelings like that. Guess he was going to have to come up with a new way to address him.

After all, Cartman wasn't the only one who knew they needed an attitude change.

Kyle withdrew himself from the conversation and made his way over to Cartman, lightly tapping his shoulder from behind. "Hey, Cartman."

Cartman was startled, knowing he'd be caught in the act and quickly spun around, backing into the metal lockers.

Kyle was surprised by his reaction and shrugged. "Sorry," he said amusingly, "didn't know I was that scary."

"I wasn't scared," Cartman snorted, quickly throwing his normal white T-shirt on. "But I guess I should have been. Jews can be intimidating."

Kyle ignored that. "How's your head?"

"Full of shit, as usual," Cartman joked, avoiding all profound conversation. There was no way Kyle didn't know why he was doing what he was doing, he was too smart. But he wasn't gonna talk about it.

"I meant on the outside," Kyle replied, gesturing to the dark purple spot.

"What this? This here's a battle scar. Pretty cool, huh?"

Kyle stared at Cartman for a moment before sighing, giving up. "Yeah. Great. Well, see ya." He turned and continued his conversation with the group.

Cartman huffed a sigh of relief.

Dodged another Jew bullet, he thought to himself. But he knew he disappointed Kyle on the rare occasion he attempted to have a conversation, and Cartman would bail. There were just some things the larger male didn't want to talk to the Jew about.

A lot of things.

Most things.

Not because he hated Kyle.

But because he was starting to hate himself.

As Cartman was walking home, his thoughts were poisoned. He had gazed over at the redhead at some point where he had no shirt on, and opened his mouth at what he saw. Kyle was very petite, having no hair on him, and he was so skinny and smallーnot in an unhealthy way like Stan. But Kyle was very balanced, and Cartman realized he had been staring at him for a good five minutes until the attractive frame was hidden underneath an orange jacket.

Cartman walked through the snow to his home, his breath coming out in visible, angry huffs.

So he's got a nice body, too, Cartman thought, annoyed. And he has money. He's healthy, well balanced. He must have low metabolism, too. Just wonderful.

He returned home finally and, as usual, immediately retreated to his bed. He'd have to wrap up his forehead later, but he was too tired to do it now. A short nap sounded more appealing in that moment.

When he woke up a little bit later, he yawned and rubbed his eye with a large, balled up fist.

He had a weird instinct to check his phone for messages. He had two, one from Stan, that read "I love you," which made Cartman's heart flutter. The feeling was soon replaced confusion when he read his second message, from Kyle.

"Meet me at 6445 Source Center Point, at 6:00."

aha that address is actually where i work

don't come kill me please

aya so i was gonna say this before but i forgot, i was gonna name this story "true love," after the song by p!nk, the song that describes kyman perfectly, but it seemed to cheesey for people that didn't understand it was a reference to a song so i just used one of my fav bon jovi songs lel

boneheart- thanks! this account is kind of new-ish and I think a lot of my stories are gonna be coming from cartman's POV, so I hope you like them!

symphknot- I'm glad you enjoyed, I hope you continue to do so:)

thanks for taking a moment to review. really, it makes me wanna continue more. i see you guys viewin it. c'mon, tsk tsk!

tbc!

-bean