A Fresh Out Look On Life
The morning sun shone upon the quite household of the Blythes. The house was still unusually silent, for the members of this certain household has not awaken from slumber land yet, only a silent Anne crept down the stairs that morning, hoping that she could catch the first rays of the warm sunlight seeping through the veranda. What a lovely glorious day today is, she said to herself, smiling contentedly about her.
Then a frown crept on to her face. Yesterday night, when she was entering the gates of dreamland, she felt someone, something bestowing a kiss on her forehead. She thought it was in her dream, one of her pleasant dreams. She remembered smiling, then falling deep in to slumber. She only remembered it when she got up to prepare breakfast for the family, for she felt a presence that still lingered in the air, the very same one that crept up to her. Anne knew it was no life-threatening one, instead, she felt almost at home with it, like she knows it all her life, like she could recognize it, embrace it. She was not sure how the others felt about this, or whether they had felt it at all, but she knew that she enjoyed having this lingering presence surrounding her, almost like protecting dear Ingleside. She felt quite comfortable with it.
Perhaps- she thought as she sat herself down on the veranda, allowing the morning breeze to play with her loose tendrils of red curls- perhaps its my Joyce, coming for a visit to the house she never got a chance to get acquainted with, the house that she never had the chance to love. Oh, Anne imagined, If Joyce were alive today, she would be a stately woman in her early twenties, probably continuing her studies in Kingsport, and having plenty of young men wooing her for her hand in marriage. She would be, of course, be chummy with her siblings always sharing their joys, crying with them for their sorrows, and giving them the best advice she could give.
Anne allowed her mind to wander about in the past. "It seemed so long ago that my wee little white lady was born, what with war and sorts." She said to herself. She remembered how it felt like to hold a babe breathing its last breathe, the coldness of its tiny little finger as she held it tightly in her own, thinking that somehow holding on to its hand will make it come back to life.
It was like a breeze that past through the room bringing happiness and joy, but with sadness and sorrows along with it. But then, Anne could feel the relieve and joy as she looked down at her first born, thankful that at least it stayed for a few hours to enjoy the wonders of the world around her. Then a few hours later, seeing her baby's eyes flutter close for the last time, never to open again, sleeping forever.
But those days were gone, and its time to make a new year. She reflected on the months back after war, letting a smile play on her lips. She may not have Joyce to enjoy this year and the years ahead with her, but oh, she has 6 beautiful grown up children, ready to spread their wings and take on whatever the world has in store for all of them, whether surprises or bitterness, Anne knew her children will face it bravely, with their heads held high. It was very unfortunate for them to experience the world's harsh treatment during the time of war, but all that were over and now is the right time to put the past behind them, and start creating a new and glorious world.
But oh, she thought with a pang in her heart, it's not my six beautiful children anymore. One of my little ones left this world to live in a better place. She knew that he would be really happy up there, for it said in the bible that no sickness or sorrow ever entered heaven, but her heart ached to see his handsome face smiling down at hers again, she just wanted to say a proper goodbye, a farewell that he'll never forget, but she never had the chance to. Oh, how she missed him so.
But all her sorrows and woes were washed away and her eyes shone brightly once again. But I still have five more children to take care of, she reminded herself as she heard the footsteps of awakening family members. And she could not neglect the needs of her children by just mourning over lost ones! She stood up from the veranda and went into the kitchen, just to be greeted by the smiling Susan, who was cooking bacon and eggs for breakfast.
'Good morning Mrs. Dr. Dear," Said Susan as she busied herself with the laying out of the breakfast table. "I did not want to disturb you out in the veranda, dear. You looked like you had a lot on your mind. I hope you didn't mind me going ahead with making breakfast Mrs. Dr. Dear."
"Dear me, no, Susan, I shall never be offended if you made breakfast for the whole of Glen. St Mary! Besides, you are always the one that prepares the meals for this house, and I'm only the table setter." Anne said laughingly. Oh Susan, she thought, you are such a dear.
She was about to voice out this thought when suddenly she heard the first peels of laughter rang down the hall, followed by loud banging footsteps. Anne braced herself, for she knew all too well what was coming next.
"Good morning mother!" Jem exclaimed as he burst into the kitchen, then gave his mother a bone crushing hug and a sloppery kiss on her cheeks. As he started towards Susan to do the exact same thing, she held her hand up. "I don't think so, Jem; unless you want you breakfast to be over-cooked."
"But you never over cook your breakfast Susan, whether with Jem's morning greeting or without it." Said the usually quiet Shirley, going over to Anne, and giving her a peek on her cheek. He did the same to Susan, who got a hug in return. Susan smiled up at her brown boy, with shining eyes as she looked him over. He sure has grown, Susan thought to herself, then thought of the day when her little brown boy would be going out into the world, settling down with a family of his own. She did not want that day to come, for she would not get to lay eyes on her brown boy again, but she knew that she'll be filled with a mother's love when that fateful day would come as she sees Shirley off to his new home, his new life with his dear sweetheart.
Mrs. Blythe was thinking the exact same thing, except it was not only for Shirley, but all her little ones. She looked at Jem with love filled eyes that poured out from the very depths of her soul. She knew that his engagement to Faith Meredith would be announced anytime soon, and that she'll exclaim with joy and congratulate the couple with all her heart. But then she also knew that at the end of the day, she would crawl into bed next to Gilbert, lay her head down on her husband's shoulder, and cry until there are no more tears to shed. It is all so funny, that one second you're all so happy and joyous, but at the same time, you feel like going into a secluded corner to weep and cry alone.
Dr. Gilbert Blythe walked into the kitchen and saw a pleasant sight before him. He saw his younger son chatting lightly with Susan as she prepared breakfast, as she laughed and nodded her head in response. Then he looked over to where his eldest son standing, laughing at the comical sight of Jem sneakily pried a piece of bacon off the dish and popped it into his mouth, just like when he was a little boy, always getting his pudgy hands stuck in the cookie jar. But now, look at him! How tall his little eldest boy had grown into such a fine young man. Dr. Blythe felt so much older than his current age as he pondered upon these thoughts.
He tore his eyes away from Jem munching away on his bacon then lay eyes upon his beautiful wife. Years may past since the day she broke her slate on his head, but his love for her never faded into dust. It was hard years in college, trying to get Anne's attention, then later risked being rejected by her in an awful fashion. But then he always knew that deep down in Anne's heart, and his own, that they had always loved each other, and that one day, both of them were meant to be together. And here they are, living in a dear little house near the sea with children of their own.
His heart filled with pride as he silently stood there, looking at the picture before him. Anne still was beautiful as ever. Today, she was wearing a dark green dress, like the one he loved to see her in during the years in college, except this one was a darker shade of green, which complemented Anne's red tendrils of curls and her pale complexion, bringing out the tint of green in Anne's starry gray eyes. There were a few strands of silver in her dark red hair, and if looked at the right angle, had crows feet around the corner of her eyes, but the doctor did not mind. As long as they are growing old together, he would not care for the world whether Anne's hair turned a ghostly white and her pale skin even more paler than before, he knew that under the aging physique, it will always remain the same Anne as the one he met back in the days of Avonlea.
"Oh look who just entered! Good morning dad, great smelling kitchen we have here, don't you think?" Jem strode over to his dad, giving his usual morning greeting, without the sloppery kiss this time. Anne looked up, her eyes flowing with love for him. "Good morning, darling." He whispered into her ear, sending a delightful shiver up and down her spine. He kissed her full on the lips, sending another shock wave throughout her body, setting her heart a fire. She looked up at Gilbert, with tenderness and love for him that could last throughout a life time. Oh, how she loved him, she could never imagined her life without this man beside her, always steering her back to reality when she gets too dreamy, a shoulder to cry on, a loving father, a tender husband, who cares for the people of the Glen as if they were his own family. No, she just could not live without him.
"Good morning Susan, morning Shirley," He greeted them as he seated himself next to Anne, absently enfolding her shoulders into the crook of his arm. Shirley greeted him back with a quite good morning and his usual smile whereas Susan went over to "Dr. Dear" and gave him a big hug. Although it could not compete against Jem's bone crushing one, her hug was sweet, tender, and had the same amount of love a mother would give to her child. Then she straightened up and bustled around the kitchen, making tea and putting the last finishing touches to the eggs on the stove. Jem went over to his parents and started chatting with them, like how he would when he met one of his friends.
"I think the girls should be up by now. Time to greet them in the dining room." Dr. Blythe proclaimed over the voices rising in the kitchen. He got up from his chair, held up his hand to Anne, and said in a tender voice, "Shall we, Anne girl?" Anne felt a smile spread across her face far and wide as she took her husband's hand and entered the dining room just outside the kitchen, followed by their two sons.
A sweet smelling aroma filled the dining room as Rilla walked in gracefully, with the twins following her. "What's that scent you're wearing, Rilla Blythe?" Jem said sternly as he looked her over. "Oh, just a little something Ken gave me. Smells wonderful, does it not?" She asked with a dreamy smile on her lips. Her hair was tied back in a loose bun at the nape if her neck. A few tendrils of ruddy red curls fell over her heart shaped face, making a pretty picture to look at. She floated into the dining room and bestowed a kiss on each of their cheeks.
"She's just crazy about this scent Ken bought for her while visiting in Toronto. She would not even let me hold it! What a goose you are, Rilla." Nan said slyly as she sat herself down at the chair nearest her. Di sat down absent mindedly next to her twin, her mind roaming somewhere else. The doctor noted this but did not mind a lot. His daughter's mind always wandered somewhere else, like her mother's, and often had to be called back to the real world by someone, or else she could spend hours, if not years, in that wonderland of hers. Nan gave her twin a look of exasperation, then lightly shoke her shoulders. Di snapped her head back with a start, then turned her still dreamy eyes to look at Nan.
"Don't you go wondering somewhere off when breakfast is about to start." Her twin said sternly, yet with a hint of laughter in it. "Oh, I was not here again, was I?" Di's cheeks flushed as all eyes were on her.
"Never mind about that, Di dear. All our minds wonder off sometimes." Said her father, patting her pale hand lightly. Di just nodded her red head silently. After a pause, she looks up and said cheerfully "Well, my stomach is ready for its share of filling, is breakfast ready yet, mother?" She looked towards her mother, who was just getting up to ask the exact same thing, except directed to Susan this time. As Mrs. Blythe was just about to enter the kitchen, Susan came bustling through, holding two big plates of bacon and eggs. It smelled so deliciously wonderful, it made Mrs. Blythe's stomach growl with hungriness, ready to devour herself into it.
Everyone settled down and started filling their plates with the sumptuous food before them immediately, chatting and laughing as they did so. Di sat next to Nan, who was currently absorbed in a conversation with Rilla about the latest fashion tips that she was reading yesterday in a fashion magazine. Mrs. Blythe could hear Nan saying something or other about the latest way to do her hair up, with Rilla nodding her head empathically and laughing along at some witty comment Nan said.
Their mother glanced over at Di, who was currently preoccupied with something else that Mrs. Blythe know not, but she could guess what or rather who Di was thinking of. Her eyes were faraway, no where near planet earth, her head caught in some other cloud that threaten to pull her to somewhere beyond. There was no smile to light up her pale face, no impish laughter from that delicately carved lips of hers; just a look that Mrs. Blythe knew that only invited ones could join in. She knew who her daughter was thinking of, and she was told that the wound in her heart has been healed with the right amount of treatment and the passing of time. But would it not leave an awful scar, threatening to release its harsh painfulness at the most unexpected times.
Di felt that she was being stared at so she forced her tangled up mind to focus on the present. She caught her mother's eyes, but did not turn away from her steady gaze, or shrug away. Instead, she looked steadily back, knowing that her mother was reading her very soul through her eyes. Now Di knew for sure, that eyes are indeed windows to one's soul. Di felt her mother breaking down the barriers the she erected around her, so that no one could invade it, even the closest of closest people, could ever take a peek into it. But mother was doing the exact same thing that Di did not want other people to, but somehow, she allowed Mrs. Blythe to see who was really beyond that cheery, bubbly Di, and take a peek into the other side of her, the side that still misses her boy brother terribly, even though she kept on a smiling face the entire time he was gone. Mother read her like an open book; form the first page to the very last.
Di looked away then, not wanting to reveal anymore of herself to her mother, though she knew that mother had already seen it all. Anne looked on silently. She pondered on what she saw through Di's eyes. She saw a familiar spark in it, bursting into flames, making her soul go a fire. But she had not saw that spark in days, months, years, after Walter had gone. It's as if he was brought back to life again, setting Di's soul a flame with his spirit. But he wasn't, he have not even stepped into Ingleside for months now.
Or had he?
Anne looked at Di again, could it be possible? She asked herself. She was sure that she had not mistaken that glimpse into Di's soul, that spark in her eyes that could only be lit up by one person only, that dwindled to nothing then came back with such zest and energy that Anne wondered whether Di was felling alright. Really, could he have come back without his own mother's knowing?
Perhaps she did realize it, even felt it, but she was so astonish by the news that somehow her second son was around, somewhere, that she did not think back on the previous night when she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead; or like an angel's wing tip just touched the very rooftop of Ingleside to bestow blessings and good tidings upon it.
Di lifted her eyes from her share of breakfast and allowed it to roam about the table. She realized that nothing was amiss, that everything seemed to resume it's own normal pace with nothing to alter it to seem unusual or out of the world. She glanced over to where Rilla was seated, next to Nan, and saw that her little sister was still sniffing her wrist affectionately, with a look of passion and tenderness that Di knew that she had no part of. Her poor heart was met yet with another painful blow, this time, not for Walter, but for herself. She wondered when it would be her turn to experience that type of tenderness and joy that could only be shared by two specific people in the world, two people that belonged to each other heart, soul and body. Could there be another soul out there, waiting for a match to his, and that one fateful day, both of them will meet, upon laying eyes on each other for the first time, as the behold each other, both will know that they belong to each other unconditionally and love each other like no other has ever loved before. Di was still waiting for that very day when her soul will arise to meet her match, to share lifelong tenderness with each other.
She often came to the point of thinking that she will be the Blythe spinster after all, passing her time with ten adoring cats and a few other animals, knitting little clothes for babies of her siblings and friends, babies that she could not call her own. She shook her head. No, she thought, even if she were a Blythe spinster, she would not waste her time away by forming little hopes and dreams that can never come true. No, she would not be so pathetic and hopeless. She would use her time wisely, occupying herself in teaching little kidlets or forming an organization dedicated for a better cause. Yes, her life would be wonderful like that, dedicating everything to form a better world, living her life for a better cause.
She was building her very own castle in the air while munching on her breakfast. Her castle was to have magnificent courtyards, grand halls, and rooms resplendent with glorious furniture, diamonds and gold. It was to be flawless, with the purest of water flowing through it, the fairest of flowers planted into its fresh living soil.
As she was erecting a wall around her castle to protect it, a thought, not a very pleasant one, came creeping in then forced its way through the barriers guarding her mind. Di tried to ignore it, but did not succeed. She finally gave it attention, very bitterly, allowing it to run amuck in her castle, flawless no longer. Her castle fell all around her, making her stumble and fall.
Even if she were to build a magnificent castle in the air, blazing with glory, with grand courtyards and thousands of servants at her command, and occasional footsteps of friends, but, she thought, with a pang of her heart, would there be any prince or knight in shining armor, riding in on a horse so grand, to share this castle with her? Or would it only be an empty castle, with her in it, and no one else to share the divines of this castle with her? Is she doomed to be alone in her own secret world of fancies?
But no, she had shared this world with someone else too, and shared it wholeheartedly, and to think that she just saw him yesterday night, sprouting angel's wings! Maybe it was him, maybe he was real, maybe he really did come down from heaven for a purpose, and that is to tell Di to move on with life, always remembering the past and make the world a better place to reside in. Life had so many maybes, one could not even be certain about one's life! But he was so real, so remarkably real that she could still remember hearing the intakes of breathe of his, the little glint sparkling in his intense gray eyes, the feeling of his hands upon hers as she fell into sleep, and lastly remembering the pair of magnificent wings sprouting behind his head, a halo hovering over his glossy black head. It had to be real, it had to be!
She remember thoroughly the touch of his skin, hugging him and smelt the sweet enriching fragrance that always seemed to hover around him whenever he's nearby, surely all those things about Walter was real too? Di still could not know whether it was really him, and that he came down just to say a proper goodbye to her, or that it was just her mind playing nasty tricks on her, just because she yearned to see Walter all this time. This continued to vex her, tormenting her jumbled up mind.
After a moment's reflection, she decided on a conclusion, that whether it was a sending from God himself, or just evil tricks from her mind, it did not matter, but what mattered most to her was the words and phrases that was said to her last night.
"…but all I'm asking of you is to go ahead into the future, do not be afraid of what it'll bring, instead, embrace it, like when you're embracing a long lost friend…. remember to keep a little corner in your heart for me, for I know I already kept a space especially for you….."
A little corner! Bah! What nonsense! Di thought. Her heart was already half gone, taken away by Walter, and now he comes back and asks to reserve a little corner of her heart for him! Di thought for a moment again, also reflecting on this. Her brows furrowed, causing her forehead to crease. Maybe he came down just to return half of her "heart" to her, asking her to take it back and continue on with life on this earth. Outwardly, she looked like she was scowling at her eggs, for Susan asked her with a worried expression on her face, "You don't like it, Di dearie? Oh, I know you prefer you're eggs half boiled, but I thought you would not mind…."
Susan was babbling on for quite a while until Di realized that she was actually talking to her. She caught snit-bits of what Susan said, and presumed it was about her breakfast. "Why Susan, it's delicious! How could I not like your cooking?" She seemed to have said the right thing, for Susan looked relieved immediately. "Well, I thought that you just did not want to consume your share of food, what with that scowl on your face…."
"A scowl? On my face?" Di repeated. She thought again- she seemed to be doing a lot of that these past few days- and her face began to brighten slowly. Laughter escape her lips as she thought of the comical sight that she produced by scowling at her eggs. Susan was quite alarmed by this, and just looked at the doctor and the astonished expressions on his family members. The doctor just shrugged his shoulders, a twinkle in his laughing hazel eyes.
Di stopped when she noticed that she was the only one laughing. She cleared her throat, closing her mouth tightly, for another bout of laughter threaten to erupt from her lips again. She looked directly at Susan, but not meeting her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. "You don't have to worry, dearest Susan, it definitely was not your eggs I'm scowling at, in fact, I don't think I ever planned on scowling at anything…" She trailed away. Then she smirked, either at herself or something else, the family knew not. "There's really nothing to scowl about…"
The family members truly looked puzzled by Di's odd behavior now. Di understood their expressions immediately and no longer wish to trouble them any longer. She stood up from the table, pushing back her chair. "I'm sorry, but I don't think my stomach is capable of digesting more food. It is truly is delicious, Susan, don't look so! I just do not have the appetite for bacon and eggs this morning, that's all." Di reassured her family. The Blythes responded somewhat belatedly, for they were still a little shock at Di's queer behavior this morning.
"Well, I could finish you eggs for you, if you don't mind." Jem finally said, breaking the silence around the table. Di laughed a rather forceful laugh, saying "Have all you want, Jemmy. I don't mind, have my bacons too, if you want." Susan gave a disapproving look at Jem, who got up from his place, stretched his long arms to get to Di's plate of bacon and eggs. Then he sat back down on to his place, munching happily on Di's share of breakfast.
Di smiled a little sadly, then strode across the hall and went gracefully up the flight of stairs up to her room. Nan heard the door closing gently, then she eventually resumed to eating her own breakfast, still wondering about her twin's behavior. It was her turn for her pretty brows to knit together, and now the family wondered whether it was Nan's turn to act as queerly as her sister did today.
"Di has been quite queer of late; don't you think so, Nan?" Jem said rather boldly, from across the table, his mouth still with bits and pieces of bacon. He wiped his mouth and was about to divulge more into his breakfast when he had an unsettling feeling that he was being stared at. He looked up just in time to meet Nan's icy gaze. He stared at her for a while, which then made Nan to hold her head high up even more than before.
Nan was a bit offended with Jem's remark about Di; he had no right to call her own twin queer, although secretly deep down she knew that Jem was right, she was having rather odd behavior of late. Nevertheless, she drew in her breathe and held her head high when she thought Jem was looking at her with a look of amusement and mocking-ness. No one, she thought, could ever insult or call her sister queer, even if that person happens to be one of her family members, she would not tolerate with such comments, and the person who uttered it would be dealt with severely.
Her hazel eyes were still boring into Jem's own hazels, when she said, icily, "And is it not Walter's and her own nature to behave queerly, as you so nicely stated? Why, I did not know that having an odd personality would be a crime to you, my dear brother." She curtly emphasized on the word "brother". She knew she said it a wee bit too coldly to Jem, who was quite taken a back by this nasty remark from his sister. But Nan could not help it; it was within herself to do so.
Nan was reportedly to be one of those rare beauties in Glen St. Mary. In fact, it was three of the Blythe girls that always set men's heart racing just at the mere sight of them, for they were, indeed, the kind that bore a beauty that were so hard to find in this twisted world. No words could describe the exact description that somehow extract them from everyone else, but all the residence of the island knew was that once you laid eyes upon a Blythe girl, they would never forget it, even if they wanted to. But lo, only one of the infamous Blythe girls was left, and it was high time a man made his first move to that particular girl.
But then it was also said from an unknown source that most men, whether young or old, were vexing each other just to get the brown-haired beauty's attention, while others still had their eyes fixed on her twin. It was definitely hard to get Nan Blythe's attention, as she could not be easily distracted by flattering comments on her appearance or by romantic poems recited by the lips of men. She thought all these shallow and unworthy of her, and snubbed those men rather unmercifully just because they had the nerve to get near her and recited a well memorized verse from a book of poetry. Most men still continued tormenting themselves just to get her eyes to lay on them, to set their hearts racing, but obviously to no avail.
And neither could they get the image of a young slender body wrapped in a pink or a pale blue gown that compliments her rosy complexion and curvy physique out of their minds. How could they possibly forget those pair of dreamy and alluring hazel eyes that would make a man conquer the whole universe if asked to? It is quite impossible to do so; what more forget the face of the daughters of the Blythes household. Many suitors and beaus kept on coming, or rather rushing towards Ingleside, with a determined look on his face. But if an observer was witnessing all the happenings of the Blythes, they would indeed take note of the slightly reddened face of yet another suitor snubbed mercilessly in his face. But of course, out of all Nan's beaux and suitors, one stayed by her side, with the look of triumphant proclamation that he finally got this enchanting fairy's hand in marriage, giving anyone who dared to steal away his sweetheart the nastiest look he possessed, threatening them with threats that they would never forget.
And of course, his own sweetheart was pleased with her own choice of men. No one could ever be any finer than Jerry, except her own father and brothers. She was happy that it was Jerry who was going to walk through life with her, for she could not imagine anyone else taking his place beside her, no matter how much wiser, richer, or good-looking they could be. No one could ever replace that little shrine she had erected just for Jerry and for him only. Besides, he was quite handsome himself, with his stunning black eyes and glossy black head over a well built body, he was one of those men that have women kissing the very ground he walks on. And he was her's, his heart was her's to keep, and no one could take it away from her; so she prides herself in doing so.
Nan still held her head up high when she was thinking all these pleasant thoughts through. She smiled a little, then let he face fall as she realized that Jem was still looking at her with somewhat amazed eyes. "Relax, Nan, I never did mean to offend you, if that's what I did. I would never insult Di, she's as much my sister as she is your's Nan, and I would never do anything that would hurt her feelings intentionally. "Nan looked him over. There was a slight twinkle in his eyes-there always was- but his voice was filled with earnest, meaning every single word he uttered from his lips.
Nan smiled a little, and then gave a small nod of approval. Jem smiled too, this time saying, under his breathe, as if he's speaking to himself, "Never attempt to insult a twin's twin. Results are always disastrous." Mother gave a small laugh then proceeded to say "All my life I've been stuck with twins, and I've learnt that long time ago. And now it gives me great pleasure that you finally understand the ways of twins. Don't ever insult them, or the both of them would come back at you with a blast and a blow, not letting you go until you apologize. I would've known, for I got my life experience to remind me of it."
Everyone laughed, temporarily forgetting Di's behavior. Nan gave a forced laugh, trying to look and seem carefree, not wanting to show the concern she had for Di that kept weighing down upon her. She turned to face Jem, who was still happily munching away whereas the others had already finished breakfast moments ago. "Well," she said slowly, hesitantly, "It is I who should be apologizing, not you." Apologizing for her mistakes never was easy for her, and she often have to stutter and form word by word slowly, just to say sorry for what she had done; she never found it easy because of her strong pride for herself, a pride that protected her heart from breaking into tiny bits of pieces whenever she heard a snide comment from someone about herself, and it was always pride that kept her head high as she walked through the crowd of criticizing people, not letting them have the satisfaction of seeing her barriers breaking down right before their eyes.
She realized that Jem was still waiting for her to say something else, something witty and funny maybe, but all she could say was "I've got such a temper, and such pride. It's still a wonder that people can still stand beside me and not crumble and dissolve into nothingness from the pride radiating from me."
A smile crept onto Jem's face, and then cracked into a big wide grin. "Well, you missed out something there, Nan. We're all strong folks, are we not? And as far as I could tell, strong folks don't really dissolve…."
At this point, Rilla cut in, rolling her big hazel eyes, yet still with a hint of laughter in them. "Finish your food, Jem. Susan wants to clear up the dishes and you are preventing her from doing so. Don't look at me like that! It is true." For when Rilla uttered those words out of her mouth, Jem had been staring at her with narrowed eyes, his mouth set in a straight line. Their mother laughed her tinkling laugh, patting Jem on his shoulder. "Once a boy, always a boy." She said through her own girlish laughter.
Nan could not stand being seated down at the dining table when her own twin's soul was troubled and trampled on by something or someone, which was still unknown to Nan. She got up abruptly, pushed back the chair too hard it almost tumbled over, gave an apologetic look around the table of startled faces, then finally crossed the living room and tripped her way up the flight of stairs, all pair of eyes still upon her back as she disappeared around the bend.
The sweet smelling summer breeze wafted through the bedroom as Di stepped into it. She closed her eyes for a minute, and allowed the breeze to tickle her nose as she inhaled the sweet smelling air around her, appreciating it for all it's worth.
"…….embrace it, like when you're embracing a long lost friend…….."
Di's eyes snapped open as the phrase that Walter uttered from his lips came into her mind. She sighed, then slowly seated herself down at the foot of her bed, where she could rest her tired and confused head as she closed her eyes once again. She was slowly, carefully reviving the last moments she spent with Walter, especially last night. Last night, she thought to herself, was one remarkable night. Not only did she get to feel and touch him for one last time, but she got to see a real living angel right before her eyes closed shut and her soul wandered off into slumber. All these seemed so hard to believe, but oh, it felt so very real!
A sad smile crept up her face as she pondered on all these again. Well, even if it was a dream, even if it was not real and never happened before, it definitely brought meaning to her; it gave her the very reason to live again, to start life a fresh, to close the book of her past and slowly uncover the secrets hidden in her future, waiting to be discovered and known. It was indeed time to put behind her horrible past and step into the future, filling every second, every minute with wonderful and delightful moments that could be lasted throughout her whole lifetime. She would live her life worthily, not only for her family, or for Walter, but also, most importantly, for herself.
Di snapped her eyes open again. She traced her mind back to the time when the tragically horrible news reached her that her brother, the closest brother to her, perished at the front. All she could recall since that day forward was loud wailing and crying until she felt that she could no longer shed anymore tears. She remembered the sleepless nights, tears splashing down into her pillow as she hope and prayed feverously that what she heard, all of it, was not true; that all this had all been a bad dream and she would soon wake up to find Walter smiling down upon her. Di even remembered the weather that accompanied her through those dreadful days: wet and mournful, wind howling outside her window, as if the whole world was mourning with her.
Maybe what Walter said was true, was right. That one could not just revive a certain person by merely thinking about him or her day and night, that could be quite impossible, even amusing, if Di was not in the state she was in that time. Then, reluctantly, she finally admitted to herself that her brother was right, that it was high time to lay the past behind her; that it was high time to let him go, who obviously, was long gone. She realized then, that life did not just revolved around the moments she want to remember throughout her lifetime, but it is also the matter of making the moments she wants to remember.
Di smiled to herself as she rested her auburn head upon her slender white wrist. Her dress, which was the color of the sea, surrounded her like sea foam, as if she was the sea goddess herself, both enchanting and alluring at the same time. Nan caught this pretty picture of Di when she entered her bedroom.
Her heart swelled affectionately for her sister immediately. How could no man ever find a place in his heart for this woman, her own twin sister? Di may not have Nan's perfect rose-bud complexion, or her shining nut brown eyes, but Di has her own attributes, and they were as shining and alluring as a northern star to any lost souls at sea. "Di dearest, are you alright? Are you feeling unwell? Perhaps daddy can see to that." Asked Nan as she gracefully folded her long legs into a sitting position next to Di, who was a little startled to see Nan there, but all the more, relieved.
Nan waited patiently for her sister to say something first. She grasp Di's hand tightly, gently urging her to spill out whatever thoughts she had in mind; thoughts that troubled her and gave her no rest until it was solved; thoughts that, it seemed, would be endless unless Di finally let go of them. All Nan wanted right now was to let Di know that she will always be there for her, through heartache and pain, through blissful happiness and joy, Nan will always there to share it with her, never abandoning her. She squeezed Di's hand even more, hoping that this would be all it takes to reassure Di that she would always, always be there for her.
Finally, after what seemed like years to Nan, Di looked up to meet Nan's steady gaze. Nan was taken aback by Di's eyes, for it was filled with such rapture that she could not help but feel the same way, although she had absolutely no idea why she felt so. "Oh Nan," Di said, her eyes slowly welling up " I thought that I just could not stand another second without Walter prompting me on, but I realized, oh, I realized now, that I could, I definitely could! I had an inkling feeling that life would loose it's favor and joy and mirth once he crossed into the gates of afterlife, but now I finally know that I'm wrong, Oh-so wrong. I could still live on, I could still dance and laugh and walk through Rainbow Valley during the twilight zone. I could still do so much more things, if I give myself the chance to. Life never lost its favor, the joy is still overflowing; it would still be as sweet tasting as the days when we were young little kidlets."
"It just seemed so awfully foolish of me to think that the hand of fate would be cruel enough to take my boy-brother away from earth, but of course, I was once again proven wrong. By right, it brought out the meaning in life for me, which made me want to live every second of my life like there would be no tomorrow; it showed me that we should never take anything for granted, that everything has it's own value of life, no matter how big, small, grand, or little it is. Life thought us all many wonderful things, but we've all been foolish enough to turn our backs against it, to shut our eyes to what really is right under our noses. We never opened our hearts, or our eyes, to see what it had install for us, but when we finally realize that life is much more than what it looked like from the outside, it flies fleetingly away, without so much as a backward glance."
Di clamped her mouth shut as if she wanted to say more, but just could not find the words to do so. By this time the tears that welled up in her eyes had already flowed freely down her cheek. She ducked her head as she wiped off her tears with her free hand, for the other was still held tightly by Nan. Nan nodded silently, then added quietly, "It is the little things in life that counts." Di looked up with a tear stained face, then nodded too. After a few moments of silence, she finally said, under her breath so that Nan had to lean closer towards Di to hear the words she said "I've learnt now, Nan dear, that we must appreciate what the world has already given us, and what life itself holds for us all. We must all thank our Heavenly father for giving us such a world to live in, and that he has given us life, a gift that is the most precious of them all. We must thank him that we could wake up every morning and enjoy its daily pleasures; the magic in this dear old world has definitely come back to me, and this time, I would not let it go. I would guard it with my life if the need ever arises."
Nan smiled at the realization that Di finally understood, that she too, gave up her past and finally started to move on. She hugged her sister, whispering into her ear "Life has a different meaning to all of us. Some would be making happy little delightful moments to keep for themselves, whereas others may find mourning and wailing their heads off far more entertaining. Those people would not allow themselves to have a look into the future, even a peek. Those people live tragic lives, and I'm so very glad that you passed that phrase and stepped into the realms of the future. I'm so glad, Di, Oh very very glad."
Nan felt Di hugged her back with a whispered "Thank you so much, Nan dearie." Nan nodded, tears welling up in her eyes this time. They broke apart, realized that both of them were crying, which made it even worse for the both of them, for they started a new round of tears almost immediately. The twins cried and laughed then cried again, all the while clasping each other's hands, then hugged after every new round of tears. "Well," Said Nan chokingly, "I'm sure the family downstairs would like to know what we twins are up to now. Come, Di, let's go down and spread the news far and wide!"
Di laughed through her tears, "Why yes, I think it's a good enough news to celebrate about." She said jokingly as she wiped the tears away from her eyes. They were both red-eyed, blotchy of nose, and red all over their faces. But it was relieved and rapturous faces that the rest of the Blythes saw on the twins faces and they walked down the flight of stairs, arms linked together to greet their family's upturned faces.
I shall live my life anew for Walter, Di vowed to herself. Then, with a little smile on her face, she added, thank you Walt dear, for giving me back half of my heart.
A/N: Liked this chapter? Send me a comment on how you thought it was. Comments will definitely be appreciated! Next chap coming up in a few months time. Sorry, but I have a huge exam coming up, won't be updating any sooner.