Disclaimer: Still not mine
Rating: PG13
Pairings: None, though I hint at everything.
Summary: Josef rants about various things during the holidays. May be a bit OOC, since this is my first fic. Reviews on OOC-ness are appreciated.
AS I SEE IT…
Chapter 2
International Sleep-With-Me Day
The day was cooler than most that week, but hey, what do I care? My freezer gets colder than the outside weather. Either way, it was nice. At least, it WAS. Until a certain someone had to call me and remind me of the last thing I needed to remember...
After about the fifth ring, I answered the phone. "What?" I snapped irritably. If you couldn't tell, I don't like dealing with people when I'm in my 'happy place'.
"Josef, if you don't want me here, just tell me to go away already," said Mick through the phone. "I'm sick of banging on the door."
Oh. Him. Ah, well, he's not that bad, all things considered. I unlocked the door, somewhat grateful that he hadn't decided to knock the door down again. "Ah, Mick. What brings you here at this ungodly hour?"
"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked, glancing at the clock. "Although you're usually still up this early..."
"No, I just wasn't listening."
"Figures. You've probably forgotten what today was, so I got this to remind you." It was then that I noticed the box he carried. Crap. It's a holiday today, isn't it?
I tried my best to look innocent. "Really? Did you?" Again with the gifts. I'm not a big fan of them, mostly because the original meaning has been commercialized beyond mortal or immortal comprehension. Then you get the few people who actually know how you feel about this—like Mick—and they try to get you something out of the mainstream. Problem is, he's good at that. I'm not. I have no clue what to get people, and I'll be damned to listening to Brittany Spears CDs if I'll ever get someone a chocolate Easter bunny or a box of sweetheart candies. The cliché is just sickening.
"Here. Something that hasn't been commercialized to hell yet." The one reason I never get tired of Mick St. John (in the long run) is because he knows me better than anyone else I've ever met. I could tell that just by looking at the gift he'd brought.
"You got me a bat?" I asked, peering into the box.
He nodded, obviously glad I was happy. "Not just any bat, though," he said, grinning. "It's a vampire bat."
I laughed. "That is the most original thing you've ever done."
"I don't know whether to feel happy or offended."
"Feel happy and we'll say my eternal gratitude is your gift." I thought for a moment. "Plus any one favor you need done in the future."
His eyes sparkled suddenly as I uttered those Doomsday words.
"Any favor?"
I hoped the conversation wasn't going where I thought it was going. I mean, sure I could sleep with Mick. I'm not going to deny that he's what teenagers these days would call 'hot'. But if something were to get messed up, eternity is an awful long time to feel awkward around your best friend.
"Nothing you'd see in an adult film, Mick," I said warily.
"What?" he yelped, recoiling. "Josef, get your mind out of the gutter! I just wanted you to open your gift from Beth."
"Oh," I said, feeling slightly stupid. "Right."
He stared at me weird as he handed me the frilly pink bag that positively reeked of rose-scented perfume. "Just because it's Valentine's Day doesn't mean all gifts are X-rated advances."
"Oh, come on. What the hell do think Valentine's Day is all about?" I snapped. "A guy acts civil on the outside and buys a girl a one dollar box of exotic chocolates from a five-and-dime because he assumes she'll sleep with him if he does. It's like the 'legal prostitution for the rest of America' day."
"No it isn't, Josef."
"It is, and you know it! People could at least be upfront about it and get one of those condom-rose bouquets instead of a necklace and a card that secretly means 'screw me'." He muttered something under his breath as I pulled the paper out of Beth's gift bag. "Oh, how thoughtful," I said, snickering. "Chocolates!"
"She put blood in the center. She made some for me too..." Mick shrugged. "Not the best, but don't tell her I said that."
"Wouldn't dream of it. Perhaps I could give her some classified information for one of her stories in return..." Suddenly, a thought struck me. "Did you get her anything?"
"Yeah..." he said doubtfully, while (unless my eyes deceived me) blushing slightly.
Now I was curious. "What was it?"
Nope, definitely not imagining that blush. "A necklace she's been looking at..." he muttered.
At first, I didn't get it. "That was... thoughtful I guess." Then it hit me. "Oh! Mick, I was just kidding about that, you know."
"Yeah, let's go with that," he said.
Next up, St. Patrick's Day! Tune in!