Laetherea's heart constricted in her chest when she rummaged through the richly ornate chest that contained her clothes in order to find something to wear. Time went by unevenly out of Loki's presence, such was the realization that dawned upon her after the last months of solitude. Therefore it came as no surprise to her when she saw that the moon hadn't yet reached her peak. The deafening silence in the room made her ears ring unpleasantly, but at least she was clean – as often, the warm water had wash away more than the filth, and Laetherea's anger went down the drain with the light pink water after rubbing away the dried blood.
Eventually she abandoned her research – it was too late to dress up, she would feel silly wearing a dress at this time of night. Laetherea returned to the bathroom attached to the main room and fetched her dressing gown, a delicate thing made out of yards and yards of the finest silk, as light as a feather on her shoulders. The last one of a long series of robes Loki had gifted her throughout the years. He always insisted that she ought to have the best but she knew better – he liked having her wear robes instead of dresses because he could undress her simply by pulling on the waist belt. It forced a tiny smile on her lips.
Hopefully, it wasn't too late to retrieve this Loki from the darkness he was plunged into against his will.
For the last hour or so now, Laetherea has been standing by the railing on the balcony to escape the silence of the room, wishing she could go down to the garden. It had been a forbidden place for so long that it took her a minute to realize she was allowed to now. But she dared not leave Loki's chambers, for fear he wouldn't let her back in, or worse, that he would come back only to find it empty. Although it was quite a ridiculous thought for she could hear his voice from where she stood. She had had her idea of where he was headed when he left earlier but now she knew she was right – Queen Frigga's private Boudoir, near the gardens. Laetherea could not hear what they were discussing so animatedly about but Loki's voice always stood out. Like a lighthouse it guided her through the blackest nights.
Her eyes lingered on the fountain standing in the middle of the garden, lulling her with its steady music, and she was thrown back years before, when she first saw it and marveled at it.
Laetherea was not born into this life of riches and abundance, she was the daughter of a servant. A maid to Queen Frigga's service who had been seduced by a guard, then abandoned by him. From a very early age Laetherea accompanied her mother to the palace. More often then not, Laetherea played with the flowers and watched the other kids at the palace because she was under strict instructions not to cause any trouble. But the most fascinating activities were the young princes' teachings. Prince Thor's daily training in all military things, although he was already much older than Laetherea who was maybe seven, or eight at the time. Prince Loki was closer to her in age and less prone to wave around a sword in his free time, always sitting somewhere with a book in his hands, or mischief twinkling in his eyes.
Her mother had told her it was forbidden to bother the princes, therefore she kept a safe distance between them, but she imagined they would be friends if the circumstances allowed it. However the situation as it was did not permit this friendship, so Laetherea stayed away, though not quite far enough. No never too far away. Especially not when Queen Frigga tried to teach her youngest son magic.
Watching the queen cast sparks from the tip of her fingers, or produce a cloud-berry cake out of nowhere was source of endless marvel to a young Laetherea. Prince Loki was an impatient child and did not appreciate the lack of result the first few times he tried, but Laetherea never gave up, however improbable it was for her to do magic.
After all, it wasn't like anybody could use magic, one either had the gift or didn't. But a little girl could dream.
"Do not fret, Loki," Queen Frigga's gentle voice said in an attempt to calm her quick-tempered son. "Keep trying. Efforts always pay off in the end, therefore you mustn't give up."
He did not look convinced at the time, but today Laetherea knew he took this precious advice to heart despite not showing appreciation for it in his childhood.
A slave was no better than a piece of furniture, so it was no wonder that the queen and the prince did not notice Laetherea's presence during their lessons, she might as well have been invisible to them. At least, the first handful of months.
Prince Loki persevered and it paid off: his first magic tricks were successful, though not quite what Queen Frigga expected. He was extraordinarily good at creating illusions, deceiving the senses, but creating solid objects out of thin air required more time and effort on his part.
"Come on, dear," Queen Frigga said, her voice scolding yet laced with fondness as she watched her son get increasingly frustrated with himself. "You're thinking too hard about it, just let it flow."
A useless advice really, anyone who had been in the presence of the young prince more than five minutes knew that letting go was not in his nature. Loki was a thinker, a bookish intellectual who needed clear instructions to follow – he could not simply let it flow. But his deep concentration was interrupted by a loud thud followed by a shriek coming from behind a bush.
Loki sprung to his feet and ran to the bush, not knowing what to expect but determined to protect his mother from the potential threat. A threat that was... a little girl?
"Who are you?" He asked, squinting his eyes and staring her up and down.
Laetherea did not say a thing, her lip quivered as if she was about to cry. Her mother had repeated countless times that she was not to speak to the princes, but it would be worse not to answer when spoken to directly, wasn't it?
"L-"
"Loki, was is it?" Queen Frigga suddenly stood there, behind her son. "By the Norns, what happened to you?" She immediately asked, bringing her hand to her mouth as she took in the spectacle before her eyes.
Laetherea was sprawled on the grass, buried under a pile of apples that seemingly fell from the sky. She gave an embarrassed smile and shook them off before standing up with as much dignity as she could gather. She remained silent and lowered her head, waiting for her punishment.
"Were you spying on us?" Loki asked, rather snappish, no doubt vexed that his failed attempts at doing magic might have had a witness.
"No!" Laetherea exclaimed before realizing she had raised her voice at the prince and blushing tomato red. "I- I just-"
"Loki hush now!" The queen scolded her son. "I think we might have found you a companion," she said evasively, earning a dumbfounded look from the prince.
"But- mother!"
"Don't be difficult now!" She rolled her eyes but placed a hand on his shoulder. "What is your name young girl?"
"Laetherea," she blurted out.
"And how did you get here?" She continued with her soft motherly tone that compelled Laetherea to answer all of her questions.
"My mother lets me stay in the garden when she works, as long as I don't cause trouble. Please don't dismiss her because of me, I will behave!" Laetherea began to plead the queen, tears welling up in her eyes at the thought that she might have ruined everything for her mother.
"I see," Queen Frigga said, realizing who this child was. "I will do no such such, my dear child. How long have you been coming to the gardens?"
"A few months..." she admitted sheepishly, fiddling with the hem of her dress. "I like to listen to your lessons with-" she started but swallowed thickly as soon as she met prince Loki's harsh glare.
"And my lessons appear to be fruitful," she laughed, making Loki cringe at the pun and kick in an apple that rolled at his feet when Laetherea stood up. "Have you been practicing on your own?"
Laetherea stuttered out a positive response, no longer able to form words under prince Loki's scrutiny and the Queen's benevolent gaze.
"Well, no need to hide behind a bush anymore, from now on you are to participate in my lessons alongside Loki," she said in a voice that suggested Laetherea could not refuse. Not that she would. "After all, it must be boring to spend all day in the gardens, and Loki is in great need of a friend."
Prince Loki scoffed and began to grumble something about being fine on his own. Laetherea gasped and stared at him with wide eyes, meanwhile the queen smiled pensively, her eyes switching between these two. She had a feeling they would make sparks, the two of them.
And sparks they did make. From this moment onwards there was no separating them, even though Loki would deny having any kind of connection to the overly joyous slave daughter who bettered him at magic. Frigga treated them in a similar manner, not favoring her son over Laetherea, and making sure to adapt her teachings to their individual talents.
A relationship based on banter and friendly rivalry was born the day Laetherea accidentally produced a basketful of apples in the garden. There was no real competition between them, not like between Loki and Thor. They didn't need to fight for Frigga's attention, they didn't drag each other down with pointless rivalry, but pulled each other up. The pride gleaming in the queen's eyes when she found her pupils trying to help one another master a trick they didn't get the day before was a reward in itself for her efforts.
However Laetherea's young years held their fair share of sadness too: her mother passed away from a terrible and sudden illness a few years into her initiation to magic. Try as she might, she could not save her mother, however good she had become at healing small wounds, this was beyond her abilities. At the time she was already old enough to work at the palace as a maid herself, even if she was in a privileged position under Queen Frigga's protection. It was only natural that she would replace her mother at the queen's service after her passing. It wasn't long before the Queen didn't have anything else to transmit to their young minds eager for knowledge.
Laetherea remembered that day as clear as the moon's reflection in the water. The fear ensnaring her heart when the queen summoned her and Loki to tell them that there would be no more lessons in the royal gardens; the warmth swelling in her chest when she told Laetherea that she was free to stay at the palace and that she had access to the royal library in her spare time. Upon hearing these news, Laetherea took Loki's hand in hers without thinking about it, eager to share her happiness.
A smile, a blush, a year later... Nothing was ever certain, they had to brave the forbidden at first – who would imagine a prince of Asgard frolicking with a young slave girl? Queen Frigga turned out to be their greatest ally when the urge to sneak out of the palace itched them, at least until they mapped the entire place and knew every turn, every nook, and secret passage.
With this newfound freedom they had, away from Frigga's involuntary chaperoning, they needn't hide their feelings any longer. Slowly, and with a great deal of timorousness, a relationship emerged from their friendship. A look that lingered; a hand that brushed against skin; a skipped heartbeat. There was no fighting it.
"I want to try this spell!" Laetherea declared resolutely, dropping the thick volume on the table where Loki was studying.
They often met in the library in the evening, after the queen dismissed Laetherea. A puff of smoke flew from the dusty volume when it hit the table, startling Loki and making him cough.
"Do you mind?" He asked in between two coughs, gesturing to his papers scattered over the table, some of which flew to the ground.
"Here, look," she said, ignoring his eye roll as she tapped a specific line with her pointer finger, inviting Loki to read it.
"Why do I need to read it? If it's too complicated for you try an easier one," Loki objected but Laetherea smacked the back of his head and leaned over his shoulder, her hand traveling from his shoulder down to his hand.
"Because I need someone to try it on, and I thought I could do it without your permission, I thought you would appreciate a little heads up," she uttered against his ear, greatly affecting his capacity to focus on the crumbling book. Then she pulled back as abruptly as her touch was slow. "But if you can't be bothered, I suppose I can have a go at it on someone else. Never mind what I might see if I walk the dreams of... let's say the guard at your door? What's his name again? Something in B..."
Loki gritted his teeth and shifted on his chair to look at her. Laetherea stood upright, arms crossed, and a smug smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. She looked like someone who was about to get into an argument they know they were going to win.
"Is the notion of playing fair foreign to you?" He asked. "If I catch you doing that, I will have him executed. Same goes if I catch him staring at you again. Either way he's about to meet an untimely death," Loki threatened, getting up to pull Laetherea to him with one hand on her waist.
His lips ghosted over hers and she parted them on instinct.
"That's rich coming from the trickster god," Laetherea purred. "Do whatever you wish to him, his fate in none of my concern. I'm not the one you'll have to answer to if you kill your own guard."
Sensing Loki's smirk but knowing she had won, she placed a quick peck on his lips as a sign of peace.
"You learned too much from me," Loki stated. "I feel manipulated. Is that how most people feel in my presence?"
"Probably. Only your parents and I seem to resist your..." Laetherea hesitated a moment as if searching for the right word while taking him in with her eyes, shamelessly staring at him with an appreciative smile. "... persuasive tongue."
Loki gulped down. Laetherea saw it. She took a step closer, pressing herself against him.
"I reckon you wanted me to have a look at this spell, didn't you?" He asked to shift her attention from him to her precious book again. She knew what he was doing but let it slide anyway.
"If you please," she said with a smile, raising her hand and gesturing towards the table to invite him to sit back down.
Thus began one of their many study sessions that reached an end either by the success or the failure of the spell, but not any other way. As much of a distraction they were to each other most of the time, they remained concentrated on their task when they studied. Magic was a common passion for them, and while their blossoming love was well on its way to surpass it in importance, they always gave it their undivided attention.
Laetherea had read the instructions many times before showing the spell to Loki, but even then she read them again. They went over the steps a few times, gathered the main elements, mapped out the different steps to followed and weighted the possible consequences lest them make a mistake.
It was no use pointing out that their combined brains rarely ever made grave mistakes. Once Loki and Laetherea found common ground, they became unstoppable. Perhaps it was the reason why Odin turned a blind eye to their relationship. When the news of their little romance reached his ears, he did not look fazed one bit, and simply demanded they behave in public.
But already people were beginning to talk. The word that a young slave girl who came from the gutter managed to snatch a prince got around, and soon became the topic of every whispered conversation in Asgard.
No matter that they were still young despite being born many decades ago, no matter that Loki was royalty, the spiteful comments came their way anyway. Laetherea avoided Court although she tried to deny it, only going there when the queen required her services. Frigga was aware of the situation and mercifully allowed Laetherea to stay behind on more than one occasion. Loki reacted in his own way, spitting his venom on the poor souls who dared gossip about his mistress – the witch they called her.
A century after their first meeting they both entered into adult life, suddenly burdened with responsibilities that were beyond them. Despite her being born a slave, Laetherea had lived a fairly sheltered life and did not know how to fare for herself – the palace was her home in her heart. Loki had it worse of course, though he had the most privileged lifestyle one could dream of, his chains weighted a lot heavier than hers. Bound by duty, Loki had to serve the realm, Odin – and one day, his brother Thor. It filled him with dread and rage that Laetherea was the only one able to sooth.
Today it was different.
The voices from below fell quiet a moment ago, and snapped Laetherea out of her thoughts. The moon was higher, the sky slightly darker, the night chillier. Laetherea shivered under her robe and decided it was time to go back inside. With a soft blow she extinguished all the enchanted candles, taking in the sweet smell of their smoke.
Sadness tugged at her heart like a child at his mother's hand, asking for attention. But Laetherea closed her eyes and walked to the bed. She knew every inch of this room by heart, the exact number of steps to go from one piece of furniture to the other. Without giving herself the time to hesitate, she climbed in the bed – too large for one person – and cradle the pillow. She laid on her side, facing away from the door and towards the open window.
By the time she heard a noise, her eyes were dry from staring into the empty space before her. She could not fall asleep, her heart was too heavy. Yet as soon as she realized Loki was back in the room it fluttered in her chest, and she squeezed her eyes shut in a parody of sleep. Could he hear her heart beating too fast? Could he see her holding her breath when she felt the mattress sink on his side of the bed?
He didn't say a thing so she could only hope he thought her asleep. Laetherea had to start breathing again eventually, but she remained tense for what felt like forever. Never in all her years of existence had she thought that one day there would be such unease between them – she felt almost bad for it. It was ludicrous, unheard of! Laetherea and Loki were not cowards unlike what was said about them. They did not sleep on their arguments, and never allowed a disagreement to separate them. They didn't allow anything, or anyone to stand between them. Then why did the empty space in the middle of the bed feel like a yawning chasm?
Just when this thought crossed her mind, Laetherea felt Loki move. Her breath caught in her throat when he draped an arm around her and pulled her up to his chest. He must really believe her sound asleep. This demonstration of care nearly made her spill all the tears she had been holding back for the last couple hours, but she swallowed them down.
Again, just when Laetherea regained her composure, Loki lost his. When Laetherea woke up this morning, she imagined today's event's to unravel in a different way. She certainly did not think that she would fall asleep to the sound of Loki crying quietly against her head, holding her to his chest as if she was the one thing anchoring him to this world, and stopping him from floating away and getting lost in the infinite darkness of the universe. In a last effort to show him that she was there for him, Laetherea gripped Loki's arm that hang over her stomach, and together they fell asleep.
000
"Mercy?!" Loki yelled, his voice rough from being used so much after having been reduced to silence for- for- how long exactly?
He was afraid to ask. He knew that time was a hazardous thing, varying from one realm to another, but surely he must have been gone for a good portion of it. The truth was that he attempted to count the days during his imprisonment – yet how does one know where the day begins and ends when there is no light? Still, he tried to keep count, even if it was a mere approximation. He stopped counting after the first two years.
"You expect me to crawl back to father and thank him for showing me mercy?" Every word oozed with venom.
The Allfather was many things but merciful was not among them – rather calculating, aloof, stern, inflexible. There was no place for grays in the eyes of someone of his likes. The concept of mitigating circumstances was foreign to him, almost as foreign as Loki felt when he walked among the people of Asgard, knowing that he was an intruder.
The queen closed her eyes and brought her hands together on her lap. She knew he was going to be difficult – after all he was her son. Proud, and resentful Loki. By locking him away Odin had forever lost his place in his son's heart. All traces of love, respect, or understanding were lost between the two of them. It tore Frigga's heart to see Loki so miserable. He looked a fright!
Thor had gone and freed Loki from his prison with one of Idun's apples, however Loki still looked quite emaciated. He had always been lean, rather than big and robust like his brother, but never so rawboned, nearly cadaverous looking. His skin lacked color, his eyes their usual mischief, and his lips remained pinched in a thin line. It was so unlike him to be so serious, if there was one being in all of the nine realms who could turn every situation, however grave, into a joke, this being must be Loki.
Frigga sighed deeply, searching for the right words. The journey to forgiveness would be a long one, but if the Loki standing before her eyes was anything like the son she had raised, then he would be too stubborn to give Odin and Thor the benefit of the doubt – she was the only one he would listen to apart from Laetherea.
"The others wanted your head after what happened on Midgard," she argued. He watched her sitting on her chair, looking regal and speaking with an even voice, and it made him even angrier. "Your father did what he thought was best for everybody. He could not allow you to walk away from this without punishing you first."
"He could not? What can the Allfather do if not spare his own son infinite suffering?" Loki spat back. "Or perhaps he's decided to not recognize me anymore, now that I've strayed from the path he chose for me! Being the eternal second, the lackey to his favorite son!"
He forgot why he came to his mother in the first place. After what happened between him and Laetherea he only wanted to get away from her – for her sake and his. Perhaps running to his mother's chambers was not the best course of action, but the Norns know he wasn't in a good state of mind, and his mother always knew how to alleviate his worries.
"Loki-" Frigga said in that same scolding voice he had heard countless time in his youth. "You almost caused a war between the realms, surely you knew there would be consequences to face! Being a prince of Asgard does not dispense you of your responsibilities, quite the contrary! It makes it all the more important that you take them."
"Of course I knew that, but forgive me for thinking that such consequences would not be inflicted upon me by my own family!" He snapped, shooting his mother a look that finally unfazed her. "Father might be obligated to punish me when I misbehave, but what do you have to say? And what of Thor? Even Laetherea!"
Queen Frigga seemed taken aback by his accusations, not sure what to make of it. A shadow danced over Loki's features, as if light did not dare approach him. His eyes were sunken in and showed no amusement of any kind. Frigga had supported her husband's decision when he decided to send Loki away, however heavy her heart was at the thought.
Loki had always been a mommy's boy. Thor and him both strove for their father's approval, but Loki held his mother's opinions in higher esteem. She was acting in Odin's shadow but her influence was everywhere, and in that way they were much the same. Before his punishment, and before Midgard, Loki used to have breakfast with her in the gardens, but now that he was back she wondered if they would revive this tradition. Something about him looked... broken. And what of Laetherea? The poor woman had been beside herself the whole time she was separated from Loki, and since she learned of his return she has been restless.
The queen might have a part of responsibility in what Loki had to endure, and in his obstinance he might refuse to listen to her. Therefore it was all the more crucial that Laetherea be Loki's safe haven.
"Laetherea had nothing to do with this decision Loki, and if she did she wouldn't have allowed it. You must understand that someone had to ow-"
"You needed a scapegoat!" Loki barked, slamming his fist on the coffee table and spilling over his untouched cup of tea.
Frigga noticed he did not mention Laetherea, but she did not insist for now.
"You were responsible for the events that took place on Midgard," she replied, gesturing to a servant to clean up the mess.
"I was a victim!" He shouted and stood up, walking to the windows. He could not stand to look at his mother while she put the blame on him. "A victim like all those Midgardians you suddenly took great interest in. I drifted away in the void until Thanos found me, and-" His voice broke.
Frigga stood up but Loki raised a hand to gesture her to stay away so she sat down again.
"I have no interest in this realm. The Chitauri attack was not my doing, I was merely an instrument in its execution."
As the trickster god Loki knew better than anyone that appearance was everything – and unfortunately for him, the appearances were against him. Try as he might to prove his (albeit relative) innocence in the attack against Thor's precious human world, no one would believe him. For years he had treated them with disdain, resenting them for their ignorance and unwillingness to give Laetherea and him a chance. And it was finally coming round to bite him in the ass.
He never gave them reason to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, his mother was right, it wasn't a mere bump in the road but a serious threat, and as such it couldn't not be left unpunished. Even if Loki was a prince of Asgard, and even if he was not the instigator of the attack. Letting him go and walk among his peers as a free man could have sparked a series of events beyond their control – peace was but a feeble concept, all one needs to do to overturn it is give it a little push in the right direction.
Thor would have opposed Odin. Loki knew his brother loved him despite everything, but after leading an onslaught on Midgard he couldn't hope for Thor to side with him. The consequences for Asgard would have been dreadful if the heir to the throne decided to turn his back on the Allfather when the latter was so close to falling in the Odinsleeping indefinitely.
"Loki..." His mother's dulcet voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
Loki closed his eyes and rubbed them with his thumb and pointer finger. He felt a kind of exhaustion that could not be appeased with mere sleep. There was a weight on his shoulders that crushes him. He was accustomed to look his best in all situations, no matter how bad. And while he had no means of knowing the extent of the damage his lengthy imprisonment had done to him, now he knew and he it repulsed him. The proper word was lackluster. In every possible area. He used to stand tall and proud, regal in every aspect, and now he was bent, defeated.
He made himself a promise that it was but a temporary state. His spirit was weakened but not broken, and as soon as his body recovers from its mistreatment he would go back to who he was. Who he really is. In the meantime there was no trying to convince anyone of his innocence. They won't listen to the god of lies and subterfuge. Besides, it was too late now – the harm was done on both sides.
Loki steeled himself, stifling the sudden bereavement threatening to crack his mask of indifference. He spun on his heels to look into his mother's concerned eyes.
"Forgive me," Loki said, gulping down. His throat felt dry now. "I shouldn't have barged in here uninvited, it was boorish of me." He forced a polite smile on his lips; it caused the crease of worry on Frigga's forehead to deepen. "I shall leave you alone and return to my own chambers. Goodnight mother."
Lest his queen mother find the right words to pull him deeper into a conversation he wanted to see the end of, Loki turned his heels and made his exit. His thoughts swirled inside his skull like the dark clouds of a brewing storm, if he didn't calm down it would break out – and the Norns know what would happen then. In cases like this one, there was only one place to go, as much as it pained him to admit it.
His feet brought him back to his chambers before his brain could convince him otherwise. Loki felt awkward standing behind the closed doors, his palms sweaty like an inexperienced teenage boy going to see the girl he was smitten with. If she had half a mind then Laetherea will have gone back to her own room and locked the door behind her after the way Loki had treated her. In his heart he hoped she was still there though it was selfish of him. Every harsh word she threw at him today was true. However unlike himself he felt, he owed her the right to explain herself before shutting her off.
In an instant his anger deflated and turned into immeasurable melancholy, like a fire burning out and leaving only ashes. With a sigh, Loki opened the door as silently as he could. He was not ready for another confrontation with anyone, so it was to his utmost relief that he discovered Laethera's figure lying still on the bed, facing away from him.
He couldn't help noticing how much smaller she looked when she lie alone in his big bed – certainly too big for one person. Laetherea was not fragile or easily breakable, Loki had made sure of that. He did not offer her a dagger because it was pretty, rather because he knew it would come in handy one day – preferably later than sooner. Sure sometimes she used it on him...
Rubbing his face with both hands, Loki changed his appearance again. His well put-together outfit and slicked back hair disappeared; in their stead were tousled hair full of knots, and simple breaches. The purple under his eyes stood out in a striking manner, while the cuts on his chest seemed to have closed already. Their furious embrace had left various other marks on his tired body – so weak that any rough handling resulted in ugly bruises.
No one needed to see that. He refused to appear too weak in front of his family, who expected so much of him, or in front of his subjects, who despised him for his lack of brute force – unlike their high and mighty Thor. There was nothing Loki hated more than realizing his own inadequacy in a situation.
Though there was a glimmer of light among the darkness of his existence, for if he was too ashamed to show weakness to his noble family, and too proud to show it to his subjects, there still remained one other person.
And she was sprawled on his bed, unmoving, unaware. Seeing her vulnerable and unguarded Loki regretted every mean word he spoke against her. The room was so quiet it was hard to fathom a heated argument happened there not too long ago. Yet the air reeked of tearfulness and rue, the testimony to their failed reunion leaving a bitter taste on the back of Loki's tongue.
Laetherea did not take the time to get under the covers and merely laid there in her robe, the soft fabric revealing a slender leg, baring a shoulder, and her arms who clutched a pillow against her bosom.
The streak of moonlight piercing through the heavy curtains hit her leg and bounced off the golden cuff around her ankle. Oh how he had wished to be in her arms while he rotted away in his cell, forgotten by all. How many times had he imagined breaking free and snatching her away to start anew somewhere Odin could not find them.
These same thoughts of rebellion and freedom were sparked to life upon seeing her in this moment. The silhouette of her figure rose and fell in luscious curves his eyes followed like the outline of a mountain range. For a minute Loki allowed himself to stare at her sleeping form, to let his eyes wander over the delicate curve of her neck meeting her bare shoulder, where her hair fell in a heavy braid. Laetherea fancied having long hair and only had up dos when it was required. Loki enjoyed seeing her hair flow behind her like a living thing, and he liked running his fingers in it even more. It gave her a wild look, distinguished her from the other ladies of Asgard who all wore their hair up in up dos so complicated they required several maids to do them.
No, Laetherea was a natural person, she needed to be herself, to be free of movement and free to express herself in whatever way she desired. Most of her free time was spent in the gardens or in the library – her two true passions: nature and knowledge. For all these reasons and many more, she had his heart. A wave of remorse washed over Loki once again for his behavior earlier. It hurt beyond measure to look at her, cradling a pillow at the very edge of the bed as if she was scared the sheets would swallow her if she ventured too close to the middle.
It appeared as though she wasn't breathing at all, and that's when Loki noticed she wasn't asleep as he first thought. As soon as this realization hit him, the tension in the air thickened, making him sigh. He couldn't blame her for pretending, she had every right to not want to talk to him. Loki considered going back to sleep somewhere else and leave her be, but he didn't. She must have stayed in his chambers for a reason, and besides he wasn't sure his feet would have carried him away, for the pull was too strong.
He needed to hold her. Nothing else would sooth the raging swirl of thoughts in his mind and allow him to sleep tonight. Fatigue was like a necklace of rocks around his neck though he wasn't sure he would be able to close his eyes. But soon his body yielded and he climbed in the bed, no longer willing or able to fight the need to hold Laetherea against him. She might be mad at him but he knew in his heart she was not going to deny him this, she never rejected him in time of need. Slowly and with care, Loki wrapped an arm around her waist her pulled her to him, away from the edge, so her back was pressed to his chest and he buried his face in her hair, finding solace in the fresh scent of her soap.
At first she was tense but Laetherea quickly relaxed in his arms. He could not tell when exactly he started crying but Loki remembered seeing wet spots on his pillow and briefly wondering where they came from before realizing he was the cause of it. Hoping against hope that Laetherea was unaware, he held her closer yet. With a soft trembling hand, she caressed his arm as a peaceful gesture.
After that Loki didn't remember anything apart from his eyelids feeling heavy, and falling asleep.
000
Loki of Asgard stood as upright as one could, looking every bit the prince he was – at least, if one didn't look too closely. Though his chin was raised and his shoulders square, his mouth was twisted in a scowl and his eyes alight with the fire of envy.
Today was Thor's investiture. Though he was the eldest and Loki had always known the throne of Asgard would go to his brother - while he himself was left with the scraps -, it did not hurt any less. To have Odin throw a ceremony to make his eldest his official heir was a sour reminder of Loki's own inadequacy. Had he been a little less... well, himself, then the crown might have been passed on to him instead. After all, he was the clever one, and he certainly was more diplomatic than Thor 'hit first ask questions later' Odinson.
He left his helmet behind today – he simply did not see any valid reason to dress to the nines given how everyone was all eyes for Thor and barely acknowledged his presence. Had they even noticed he left the dining hall? Had his family noticed?
Laetherea stood of few paces away from him, observing in contemplative silence. It was a fond memory, she wasn't surprised that Loki still dreamed of it so many years after it happened – Laetherea herself still thought of it with tenderness. Out of all the things she expected to find in Loki's tormented mind, this was not it. When she decided to plunge into the dreams of her lover, she imagined he would either be sleeping so soundly he would have a dreamless night, or be tangled in a series of terrible nightmares. Either way, she wanted to know what made him act the way he did today, and she would relive all and every memory they shared if need be to find her answer.
"What thoughts trouble you so that you need to isolate yourself during such festivities?" Her warm voice asked behind him, making him both stiffen and relax.
Perhaps it was presumptuous of him to expect her to already know the answer, but Loki's lips were sealed as he remained in his state of stubborn silence, refusing to so much as turn around to look at her. Deep down he knew he was being unjust for she had done nothing wrong, yet he could not break free from the snare of anger.
"You give them too much power over you Loki," she continued, not bothered one bit by his lack of responsiveness. She was used to it. "Don't let them influence your moods in such a way."
"What do you know of my moods? Have you mastered the art of reading one's mind behind my back?" Loki replied, his tone harsher than he intended.
He had behaved beautifully the whole evening, nearly biting off his own tongue in order to keep his remarks to himself whenever someone had the fanciful idea to start a conversation with him.
"I know you better than you think I do, my prince," Laetherea uttered, giggling to herself when she saw Loki repress a smile, however weak it was.
"It's quite funny you know?" Loki suddenly told her, dropping his mask of indifference and startling her by the same occasion.
Laetherea shook her head no and stood next to him on the terrace overlooking the gardens.
"Nobody here cares to show me any respect or calls me by my title," he stopped briefly to dart his eyes on her, finally, and added, "except you. Yet you are the only person I wish to be familiar with."
Loki grabbed the young woman's hand to place it around his elbow, and he kept his hand over hers, enjoying how her soft skin felt under his coarser palm. She did not seem to mind and even leaned towards him.
"You don't want what you have, and don't have what you want," Laetherea chuckled, which triggered an ironic smile on Loki's face. "It's in your nature to be eternally dissatisfied, Loki."
His smile widened upon hearing her stress his name. She wriggled out of Loki's grasp to loop her arm properly around his and snuggle him a bit. The night was fresh despite the sunny weather they had during the day.
"Not in all aspects," he told her, his eyes not leaving her form though hers were closed in delight.
Today had stretched on and on, and she had missed him. Though even with her eyes shut she could still picture the smug smirk on his face and elbowed him for his teasing words.
"Not like that, you dirty-minded woman!" Loki huffed and laughed for real this time. "Is it that hard to fathom I was merely making an innocent comment?"
"Yes, it is," she replied but still shot him a blinding smile.
Whatever mission she had given herself when she found him sulking alone on the terrace while lavish festivities took place a few rooms down the corridor, she must have fulfilled it, for Loki recognized the glimmer dancing in her eyes. The same spark that set them alight when she worked out a complex spell, or out-witted Loki during one of their infamous friendly – yet incredibly heated - debates that made everyone in their vicinity flee the entire wing of the palace they were in.
"And yet your mind jumped to this conclusion right away, so what do you say for your defense?" He shot back, light gazing his fingers underneath her chin.
"I can blame it on your adverse influence on me," she whispered, then leaned in to kiss her beloved before he could ruin the moment with one of his comebacks in an attempt to have the final say.
Any joke aside, this was not completely true. Laetherea had never felt Loki was trying to sway her ways of thinking; one might even go as far as to say she was one of the few people the trickster god refused to use his skill against, to manipulate or otherwise influence them. In fact, it appeared that Loki encouraged her to always be herself despite what the wagging tongues might say.
From the moment Laetherea had stepped into the royal family's lives, from the moment she crossed the line between slave and free woman, she never looked back. Not once in her life had she considered biting down her tongue, or water down her personality – quite the contrary, she spoke her mind like no high born lady dared to. And among the scolding glares she received for it, she sometimes spotted a look of admiration.
"What a cruel thing to say-," Loki said against her lips. "-to an already suffering man. Have I not endured enough today?" He added in a vain attempt to appeal to her mercy. He felt her smile as she planted another dulcet kiss on his eager lips.
"Is it too late to salvage what is left of it?" She asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow as those words came out of her mouth.
This time there was no ambiguity whatsoever as to the meaning behind her words. To be truthful the prevailing emotion today was not so much ruefulness but rather pent up frustration. Loki barely slept this week because of this ridiculous ceremony – which was all for shows anyway, things would have been the same had they decided to keep it on the down low. As a result Loki was now itching for some action – a fight would have been ideal, if there ever was a moment to blow on the red embers of war with one of Asgard's belligerent neighbors, now was the time.
Though to be honest Loki was not feeling quite enraged enough to face an entire army of Jotuns all by himself in a fit of childish jealousy – even he could admit that, at least to himself. Because that's what it was: a child's tantrum, a silly rivalry he took too much at heart. Thor, in all his oblivious high-spiritedness, did not mean to hurt his feeling or have bad intentions. He was the big brother and thought it natural to be the heir, never once considering that he might not be the most competent monarch, or that his brother could want it too. Why did he have to be so blissfully ignorant? It was difficult to hate someone who meant no harm yet hurt you still.
But instead of further dwelling on those unpleasant thoughts, Loki turned his full attention to the lustful woman in his arms, looking at him so directly, her gaze heavy with desire. She too must have suffered from Loki's distractedness and lack of interest these past few days, though she was infinitely patient with him. Well, she had waited enough Loki decided as he picked her up and sat her on the stone railing of the terrace and stood between her parted legs. He put his hands there and relished in their smoothness.
"Do you have something specific in mind, love?" Loki asked, unable to hide the boyish grin taking over his formerly sullen expression when he felt Laetherea's deft finger move to his sides and towards his back, slowly sneaking under his garments.
Loki straightened up and shivered when her fingers finally came in contact with his skin. It seemed to be the desired effect if her devious smirk was any indication. They lingered on his back a little longer before she brought her hands out from under his clothes and put her palms flat against his chest.
"I have a couple ideas..." she said, biting her lip and shooting him a playful glance. "You look regal in these clothes Loki, but I'd like to remove a few layers if you don't mind."
"Your wish is my command," he happily complied, "but first-"
Loki swooped her up, Laetherea gasped and giggled when the cold stone disappeared from under her and Loki carried her down the stairs leading to the gardens, farther away from the party and potential interruptions.
When he set her down on her feet, Laethera was smiling with fondness - though her eyes remained veiled with yearning as she undid Loki's shoulder clasps, letting his cape hit the ground in a muffled thud. His jacket followed suit. He did not move, merely allowing Laetherea to undress him at her will, though after she finished unlacing his breeches and his shirt he began to feel it was unjust that she was still entirely clad. Yards and yards of sheer precious fabric wrapped around her figure in a way that made all the other ladies jealous – Loki always made sure of it.
Suddenly gifting his lover with sumptuous extravagant dresses went from a brilliant idea to a huge inconvenience, for he did not know where to start. Taking pity on him, Laetherea laughed and slowly slipped out of the garment, with an ease acquired with practice to be sure. It slid down her alabaster shoulders, the caress the soft material raising goosebumps in its wake as Loki's eyes remained trained on her as though he were hypnotized.
He nearly groaned upon realizing she was wearing undergarments – what had possessed her to wear those? Of what use were they if she planned on seducing him tonight?
"I shall ask your maid to stop bringing you those, they are utterly useless!" He told her firmly and pulled her towards him – as sublime as the view was, he needed to feel her.
It was only when Laetherea was pressed against his chest that Loki felt the weight of his troubles lift from his shoulders. His worries hit the ground along with his formal wear that he wore only to parade in the great hall to please his family. That ludicrous costume was not the only thing he dropped, Loki also tossed away the mask he wore and hid behind. Laetherea could see through it anyway, and he refused to be anything else than himself with her. She might be the only person left with whom he could do that, they were both aware of that.
In many ways they were each other's shelter, they acted as safe havens, intellectual stimulation, romantic partner, and partner in crime. From the moment Laetherea produced those apples so many years ago, their fate had been sealed.
"What are you thinking about?" She asked him when he didn't react anymore.
She caught him staring again! There was a time, centuries ago, where it would have embarrassed him. Her gentle touch brought him back to reality quickly enough, and her hands once again wandered under his shirt, pushing it back ever so carefully. With a playful smirk Loki snapped his fingers and off were Laetherea's undergarments, causing a breathy laugh to tumble down her plump lips. Those mesmerizing lips of hers – full, soft, calling for him in ways language could not express.
"I'm thinking of all the ways I want to ravish you, and where to do it," Loki groaned when he trailed his hands up her sides, following the curves of her body from her thighs to the delicate swell of her breasts which he fondled with care. "Under this apple tree," he said, gesturing to it. "Between the rose bushes," he continued, taking a step forward to make Laetherea step back. "Maybe in the fountain, what do you think?"
It was only fitting that they share a passionate embrace in this sacred place of their meeting, forever attaching a new memory to it.
"I think we should wait until the days grow warmer to try that," she smiled and kissed him, giving in to his charming grin. "The plush grass will suffice for now, let's not get fanciful here," she decided.
"Whatever my lady wants," Loki agreed before sweeping her off her feet and stealing yet another kiss from her while she was in his arms, holding onto him like she never wanted to let go.
He laid her on the grass which acted as a blanket underneath her back and she naturally opened her legs to welcoming the weight of him on top of her, letting him find his spot between her warm thighs.
To put it simply, it was where he belonged – it was home. Warm, welcoming, soft, and familiar – all of the things he found so rarely in his actual house, things he had been deprived of on many occasions throughout his life. He loved her for that, for never closing him her door in any sense of the expression. He loved her because she was his equal, not by birth but in spirit. Her impetuous, untameable character that made her desirable but unlovable for many a man. Loki was not going to push for a change in this matter; he was fine with being her only suitor.
An raw, primal kind of possessiveness overwhelmed him when he looked at her, a fire lit in his gut, ready to scorch alive anyone who dared approach her or bear ill intentions towards his love. She might not be a slave anymore, but he still owned her – and he knew Laetherea would take offense if he wasn't so utterly hers in return.
"Loki..." His name crossed her lips, only increasing his need for her. She moaned it lowly like a prayer yet he had never heard anything sound so sinful.
His mouth was busy therefore he didn't pick up a conversation, though their love making was often full of those – teasing, playful, heated, serious, Loki had come to realize there was nothing they could not discuss during an embrace. After all, if not then, when? It was when one was at their most vulnerable and open, while feeling the strongest bond one could share with someone else.
Hungry for her, his mouth traveled upwards from the valley of her breasts to her collarbone, leaving behind a trail of kisses and bites. Laetherea clawed at his now naked back, urging him to quit taking his sweet time and answer her increasingly pressing needs with very eloquent moans and groans. She stroked him teasingly, earning a low groan and a warning glare, but she merely smirked and raised her head to capture his lips, effectively nipping in the bud any inclination to answer her provoking behavior with words. She wanted action.
In retaliation to her tantalizing ministrations Loki slid his hand down her body, from her side to her hip, to her milky thigh, until it reached the mount between her legs, causing her to heave while glaring at him in warning. A boyish grin was her answer, and she knew he wasn't going to relent easily. From the first stroke he set her afire, making her arch her back in an instinctive physical response to his action. Loki's smirk grew though he was hardly able to focus while she tease him in a similar fashion, not giving him a chance to take the lead.
"Yield," he demanded, quickening the pace of his flicks and strokes.
Laetherea's lips parted in a silent cry when he slipped two fingers inside her, urging her to relinquish. Her grip on him loosened enough to allow him to move and grab her by the wrist to pin her hand above her head with his free hand.
She was at his mercy, and Loki was merciless.
"You're awfully silent, Rea," Loki observed quite unfairly regarding the state his partner was in. "What's the matter? Where's your bite?"
His words where mostly lost to her as she wriggled beneath him to meet each of his languid stroke, her head thrown back and her eyes closed in rapture. Her mouth remained opened; she moaned out a string of words alternating between profanities and his name.
"My bite?" She breathed out through her haze in a voice heavy with desire. Her hands shot up to grab Loki's face and pulled him down to her in a kiss that held nothing dulcet, it was sheer despair – they devoured each other in a way that bordered the literal sense.
Before Loki could add two and two Laetherea made him lose his balance and pushed him to the side, allowing her to roll over and straddle him. The look of astonishment laced with wonderment on his face made her smile in triumph – it was her turn.
Laetherea began to sway her hips before her lover's mesmerized gaze, riding his fingers with her palms flat on the grass each side on his thighs, leaning slightly backwards as she sped up the rhythm. Her right hand came to tease the little bud of flesh between her thighs and after a few more minutes she came on Loki's hand, to his utmost satisfaction.
"I will never yield," she eventually told him, still panting slightly but her voice leaving no ambiguity as to the fact that she meant it in its firmness.
"I would be disappointed if you did," Loki admitted, sitting upright to meet her lips.
His hands held her waist and caressed it languorously, taking their time to fully savor the sensation of her skin under his fingertips, relish in the fact that he made goosebumps erupt where he touched her.
Laetherea prolonged the kiss as long as she could, pouring her love and devotion into Loki as a reminder that no matter how cruel fate was to him, no matter if life showed him the backside of its hand, she would always stand next to him to support him – through tick and thin, she vowed to be his anchor, and his lighthouse. As seconds ticked away they merged into one - one being united in body and soul.
The steady pace Laetherea set, the delightfully teasing rocking of his hips threw Loki out of his reverie and forced him to use all his concentration to hold back. He would last as long as he could, no matter that she was a sublime creature of pleasure, no matter that Rea had him wrapped around her finger. His left hand shot up to grab a handful of her hair above the nape of her neck, pulling at it, making her deepen the kiss, urging her to pick up the pace.
So she did at long last. A moment turned into an eternity, and though the moon hadn't moved in the sky, she silence surrounding them was such that they were forced to wonder if the festivities hadn't died down while they were frolicking in the royal gardens like two teenagers who were enticed by the idea of being caught in the act – and maybe they were.
For a while the sound of skin against skin and heavy panting was the only disturbance in the quietude of the place, along with the rush of the water in the fountain. Loki and Laetherea were both too wrapped up in their own pleasure to speak, all their attention was focused on keeping their eyes open and locked, refusing, in their obstinacy, to break this connection.
Laetherea tipped over the edge first, for the second time tonight, and Loki followed suit. They held onto each other for dear life, falling on the grass in a tangle of limps, content and out of breath. Covered in a thin layer of sweat and blissfully worn out, they lay there for a while. It didn't even cross their minds to worry about being found in this position, stark naked and obviously having behaved improperly in a public place.
Loki tightened his grip on his love, engulfing her in his arms as if to protect her from the cold now that their activities didn't keep them warm anymore. Laetherea rested her head on his chest, eyes closed she listened to the fluttering of Loki's heart, which had seemingly grown wings.
"We need to go back to your chambers," she mumbled after a while, clearly getting sleepy. "My tired body longs for your bed."
"Mine longs for yours, always," Loki replied, nudging her and making her smile when he shot her a playful smirk. He pushed back her hair to better see her face. His expression turned stark and serious when he said, "I'm sorry you have to bare with my moods. I wish I could offer you more than being the mistress of the eternally second prince of Asgard."
An understanding shimmer was born in Laetherea's eyes upon hearing Loki's apology, and she realized he wasn't simply bitter about not being the designated heir of Odin. He was angry for two – for her; wounded in his ego because of his inability to make her rise even higher above her condition – for only the authority coming with kingship would command enough respect to put a definite end the tormenting Rea was subjected to from the other ladies.
"You needn't worry for me, Loki," she assured him, caressing his cheek. "Your title is of no importance to me, for as long as I have your heart I am strong. They can throw derogatory comments my way like so many arrows, I do not care – your love stands like a shield before me."
Her voice sounded distant, almost like the night was finally swallowing them, but Loki listen with great care and attention, each word acting like a balm on his hurt pride. He took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips to place a kiss on her knuckles, a poor attempt to show her how much her words meant to him.
"I can only hope nobody will ever stab you in the back then," he told her with a final sigh, offering her a weak smile in return for her bright one.
"You trained me well, my love. I don't show my back to my enemies, the only person I trust enough to show the cracks in my defense is you. And I know that if one day harm comes my way, it will not come from you."
Again, her voice was barely above a whisper, as though she was calling to him from far away instead of being right in his arms, supple and tender, a warm and comforting presence he would not relinquish for all the crowns and thrones in the Nine Realms.
"No, it will not," he vowed, and just as he stared in those deep eyes of hers, darkness swallowed them.
He fell and fell, there was no rock bottom to this endless well of darkness. But more than the lack of light what affected him most was the sudden disappearance of Laetherea. She had vanished and he was alone. An overwhelming feeling of exhaustion took him over and Loki closed his eyes, falling unconscious.