A follower! I see you waaaay back there! Woah! Did the title draw you in, Vulpix's flame? Well enjoy a little more and don't be afraid to approach. I don't bite. Unless you taste good! xD

Gender Confused Kitty

Chapter Two: A Fishy Situation

"I am not a woman, Zel." The princess just chuckled as the Sheikah continued to rant.

"I know Sheik. I shared your body once." They both shivered at the thoughts that comment brought on. "Why didn't you just prove it to him? It can't be that hard." She winked at Sheik and he gaped at her.

"W-what are you suggesting? I pull my pants down and give him a good look." Sheik thought about doing that, but his mind only filled with pervy thoughts, leading his face to redden.

"Well no. Perhaps something more subtle." Zelda stopped to think. She knew Sheik loved Link and that was part of the reason why it bothered him so much. She easily came up with an idea. It didn't solve the Sheikah's problem, not the ones he wanted solved at least. But it would help him tell Link of his love. It will be risky, she needed to prepare. "Sheik. Come meet me in the kitchen around dinnertime. We have an ambassador from the Gerudo. I need to have you test her food, in case one of the chiefs holds a grudge." She paused. "Oh and Sheik? Try not to break Link's nose again. He whined the whole time I was fixing it."

"Of course, my lady. I will prepare my selection, but I can't make any promises about Hero." Sheik bowed and left the room to prepare his collection of anti-poisons. Meanwhile, the princess was devising something that would put Ganondorf's plans to shame, in a sense of how devious they were. Hopefully it would all work out.

It was time for the princess to sit down to dinner and the Sheikah scurried to the kitchen to test the various foods. He picked a few vials of anti-poisons, each being able to handle a different kind, just in case. Zelda turned to him as the door closed.

"Ah, Sheik. There you are. These are the foods to be served today. Please try each of them." Sheik quickly took down his cowl, ignoring the princess's stare, she had seen his face many times yet she is still in awe when he shows it. A bite was taken of each food and the cowl was returned to his face. Moments pass and the warrior deems the food ready to be served.

"Is there anything else you need, Princess?" Sheik bows and awaits a command.

"No, but would you join us for dinner?" That was not the princess's voice. Sheik turns in the direction of the new arrival, ready to spring into action. Until he sees that it is Aveil. She was a childhood friend and it was always good to see her.

Despite not wanting to remove his cowl, the Sheikah male is unable to refuse the Gerudo, and ends up joining them in the dining hall. Impa, who had shown up as well, saw this but said nothing, calming Sheik's nerves. The food is set out across the table and Sheik knows exactly what he wants to pile his plate with. Checking for treachery has it's advantages.

Not long after they are all seated does Link stumble in. Sheik grabs his cowl, putting it on while the hero collides with a servant tripping her and sending the platter of freshly prepared salmon all over the now furious Sheik. The room goes silent as the sheikah gets up from his chair, but instead of yelling he calmly helps the servant girl up, while apologizing for the hero's klutziness. She exits the room and they all watch her go, knowing that once she is gone the fish-covered man will blow his top.

"What is your problem! Must you ruin everything, you clumsy oaf!" Anger is seeping from every fiber of the Sheikah's being. The smell of fish and the uncomfortable chafing of the various sauces that were on it getting to the man more than he would let on.

"It was an accident, Sheik." Link isn't scared of the man he loves, even if he is angry, and besides, he would rather not be insulted.

"Yeah, well your accidents add up and believe me when I say that they are a thorn in my side." Unable to stop himself Sheik starts to pace. Movement usually calms his nerves, but instead it makes the issue worse by spreading the food further.

"Oh Din! Sheik don't be such a drama queen! It isn't like I meant to do it." This comment, while meant as playful, only pushes the warrior to lash out. A fist is caught in a calloused hand and the Sheikah is shoved away. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, princess."

"Hero, I would suggest not going as far as to cast insults." Impa's input goes in one ear and out the other as the hero continues to aggravate Sheik further.

"Aww, poor little Sheik can't take an insult like a man." The hero has no time to react as a foot collides with the side of his face, knocking him down.

"Fatty! Get off me!" The insult stings but the hero doesn't budge. "You bas-" His words are cut off once again by the hero, though this time with a hand over his mouth. The hand is removed and the hero wags his finger at Sheik.

"That isn't nice. Ladies should not speak that way." The struggling begins anew at the retort and the cowl that has never been lowed in the hero's presence slips below Sheik's chin.

Link is laughing and it only proves to drive Sheik over the edge. He wasn't a woman. Tears flow from the man's eyes and down his face, leaving two long trails of wetness. He tried to get away before the hero saw, but Link looked down and caught sight of the weakness.

Link had never seen someone so beautiful. Sheik's nose was small and curved up slightly at the end. His lips were plump, not as large as Impa's, and would have been a perfect cupid bow if not for being naturally turned down slightly at each end. Prominent cheekbones and square jaw softer than a man's would be, giving him a femine appearance. His eyes, being the only feature Link normally saw, were round and childlike, slanting up at the corners, but held an innocence that tied in with the sad expression his face always seemed to have. The overall affect was like that of a porcelain doll, beautiful but breakable.

Link's eyes trail over Sheik's face and he briefly wonders what could be going through the hero's head to cause such emotions to shine in his eyes. But then the anger and pain are back and Sheik just wants to hide.

"Happy now?" Link hadn't meant to make him cry, he loved Sheik. Sheik knew that it was all in jest, but the insults had brought him back to a time when some of the Gerudo girls called him unfit to be a man.

"Sheik, I'm sor-" A smack sounded throughout the dining room. All the people present gasping when they found who had done it.

"I suggest you watch your mouth from now on, Hero." The last word seething with rage. Impa picked Sheik up from the ground having knocked the hero off him. Seeing her that way made Sheik feel safe, as it was how she had reacted when she learned of the things being told to him at the fortress. Those Gerudo girls never spoke to him again.

Sheik had been contemplating what to tell the hero. Crying over silly, childish insults wasn't something he normally did. But to have his crush treat him with such disrespect pushed his buttons. He dunked his head under the warm water, scrubbing the fish from his scalp and long, pale blonde hair that fell to the small of his back. It felt good to be clean. The bath had calmed him. Perhaps he had overreacted.

Speaking of fish, food sounded good. He didn't get to eat anything. Sheik dried off quickly, draining the bath and headed into his room. Moments later he was dressed in a dark green cutoff shirt and black pants that hugged his thighs, but not his calves. His hair was braided, shortening to his waistline. Deciding that shoes and a cowl wouldn't be needed, he set out.

The kitchen staff were happy to know that he wasn't angry about the fish and offered to make him anything he wanted. With a plate of steamed vegetables covered in melted Lon Lon Ranch cheese, Sheik headed back to his room.

A knock sounded on the door and Sheik got up to see who it was. When he opened the door Link stood there looking bashful.

"I truly am sorry, Sheik. I should not have called you a woman for I know you are not." The remorse in his words was evident as his voice cracked.

"I overreacted. All is forgiven." Sheik then found himself in a bone-crushing embrace.

"Oh thank Farore. I thought you would hate me." Sheik could feel Link shaking as he snuggled into the Sheikah's shoulder, breath coming out ragged and voice hoarse. "P-Please d-don't hate me. I couldn't live if I knew you h-hated me."

"Shhh. It's ok. I don't." Link looked up and Sheik was caught in his innocent gaze. How he remained so childlike after all he had seen astounded the Sheikah.

"Promise?"

"Yes. I promise." A relieved sigh could be heard from the hero.

"I didn't mean any of it. Not sure what compelled me to insult you to that extent. I mean, I tease you to try to open you up, but none of it is serious. Just in good fun." He lifted his head and smiled at Sheik, happiness radiating off him, face inches from Sheik's. At the same time, both men realized how close they were and pulled away from each other, it seemed that they just got closer and closer throughout the heartfelt conversation.

"I understand. But as of late all your comments have been toward my gender. Is there a reason?" Sheik truly was puzzled. During the time that they have known each other, Link has never insulted him by questioning his gender. Now all of a sudden it is the only thing he does.

"Well..." A blush made itself known on the young hero's face. Link couldn't tell Sheik it was because he liked him and that he just enjoyed how it always made him mad. The Sheikah was so cute when he was upset.

"Mhmm. I am listening. " Thankfully patience was something Sheik had in abundance of right now.

"I... uh... No reason." Unbelievable. There was a reason and the Sheikah was determined to find out now. Before he could question the hero another voice called out from down the hall.

"Oh, there you are boys. Have you worked out your differences?" Zelda walked toward the two males. Sheik bowed out of respect. "Sheik, stop that. You are a close friend. There is no need."

"You never know who could be watching, my lady." Impa had a way of finding out if Sheik didn't do certain things and he sure didn't want a bruise that matched Link's.

"Oh gosh! Hero!" Said man turned his head in Sheik's direction. A confused look on his face as if to say 'what'. "Let me see your face. I feel bad about you getting smacked."

"No need. But thanks for the concern." Sheik wasn't about to let the bruise go untreated. So he poked it after the hero turned back to the princess.

"Ahh! Sheik, what the heck. That hurt." Link paused, a defeated look upon his face as he realized what he said. "Oh. I see. Fine, you can take care of my boo boo." He gave Sheik a sheepish grin when the man shot him a glare. Being cared for by Sheik did sound nice.

"Boys." Attention was placed fully on the princess by both men. "Once you are done playing lovebirds, I would like you to rest well. Tomorrow you will be setting off with Aveil. She needs escorting home."

"Lo-ovebirds! Wha-" Sheik stopped talking when Link hugged him from behind, kissing his cheek. His face was flushed and he was sure all the blood in his body went to helping keep the blush evident.

"Of course, Zel." A wink was sent their way as the princess scurried off. Hopefully the spell on that food Sheik ate would affect him soon.

"Hero!" Sheik tried to get out of Link's grasps, but with no prevail. Being so close to the one he loved was taking it's toll on him.

"Aww honey, don't try to run from me." A mischievous smirk found it's way onto the hero's face. Oh, how both of them wished for the kind of relationship that nickname implied. "Come play with me." He was practically purring in Sheik's ear at this point. The hot breath distracted him long enough for the hero to pick him up and head into his room, closing the door behind them.

A devious thought made itself known to the Sheikah. Perhaps he could beat the hero at his own game. "I don't think you could handle all I could dish out, Hero." Sheik whispered huskily into Link's ear and then bit it lightly, causing Link to blush and drop him. Thankfully Sheik knew this would happen and landed on his feet.

"Hmmm. Don't want to play the game anymore." Sheik couldn't help himself, his predator instincts kicking in, and ran his hand down Link's face, bringing his face close enough to kiss the hero, but didn't.

"Oh, but I love games." The unsuspecting Sheik was then picked up and dropped on his bed, the royal blue blanket wrinkling ever so slightly. Link jumped up and straddled him. Sheik's breath caught in his throat.

"What? Don't want to continue. Afraid I will win?" Faster than Link could comprehend, the Sheikah had slipped through his legs. He walked over to his dresser, searching through it till he found what he was looking for.

"No. Never." He headed back over to the hero and started applying potion to his cheek. Link shuddered as the cool potion filled rag made contact with his abnormally warm skin. Sheik rubbed the potion in till the bruise faded away, leaving behind a flawless, tanned face.

Satisfied, Sheik tossed the piece of fabric aside. Both of his hands found their way to Link's forehead, then slid down his face, grazing his neck ever so lightly, and rest on his shoulders.

Link's body shivered with every touch. Muscles tensing and relaxing anywhere the skillful hands wandered to. A moan left the hero's mouth as Sheik kneaded into his back, then sides, and finally his chest.

Sheik couldn't help the purr that enveloped his words. "Does this mean I win?" Neither knew what the game was to begin with, but there was no doubt that Sheik had indeed won.

"Only if you continue." A chuckled, happy and smug, escaped the Sheikah.

Hehe. Another eight or so thousand words to be put into chapters and the randomness still goes on after that. If you haven't already guessed, this is a plotless story. I put Sheik and Link in situations and those into a story that is random as heck! I sure do love to screw with their lives!

While I enjoy coming up with problems and such for Link and Sheik, I would gladly put yours in as well my dear reader. Just leave a review or perhaps pm me. I love having someone to share ideas and plans with (I tend to send my musings to whomever will listen).

Have fun reading this!

~Sincerely yours

Annoying xD

(P.S. If you want me to read your story/stories, just tell me. I will most definitely do that when I get the time. I don't usually leave the realm of zelda fanfics, but will gladly venture to other fandoms if you want me to. I just might not fully understand them!)