Disclaimer - I don't own LOTR, any characters, events, plots, settings,
etc. from it. It belongs to Tolkein, New Line Cinema, and those people.
Gandalf stood quickly.
"Are you mad? Giving such a piece of land to this Fool of a Took and his rascal friend?" He thundered. Merry hit Pippin on the shoulder.
"Hear that, Pip? We've inherited Isengard!" Pippin grinned and slid out of his chair.
"Great! We'll take it!" Pippin announced grandly. There was a smattering of applause. Gandalf glared in rage.
"They cannot have it! I will take it!" He said in desperation. Thranduil glared openly at Gandalf the White.
"Don't be greedy, old man!" He snapped. Gandalf straightened in surprise.
"Who are you calling old?" He asked snottily. Thranduil rolled his eyes.
"Denial." He muttered. Gandalf's eyes widened in shock.
"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!" Gandalf sneered. Aragorn glared haughtily at them both.
"There will be none of this jealousy and arguing in my court!" He said, trying to break up the fight before it was a full out reenactment of Gandalf vs. Saruman.
"Stop trying to be all high and mighty!" Legolas snapped angrily at Aragorn. He was still feeling ornery from the fight he had had earlier with his father. "Beat him with the stick, Gandalf!" Legolas muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Gandalf. Aragorn wheeled around to face Legolas.
"I will not have you promoting war, Legolas! And I'm wasn't being all high and mighty!" Aragorn said, pouting. Legolas always spoiled his fun.
"Yes, you were." Legolas snarled. Aragorn glared at him, then let his face go slack, put on a goofy smile and began to twirl his hair.
"Oh look at me, I'm Legolas! A stupid, pretty elf who only cares about my hair!" Aragorn sang in a high voice. Legolas turned red.
"I do NOT act like that, Aragorn!" Thranduil however, was now angry once more with his son.
"BLOOD TRAITOR! How DARE you shame this family! First you and that horrible little dwarf become friends, now you befriend an insane human and insult me in front of everyone!" Thranduil shouted. Legolas tore his gaze away from the prancing Aragorn and glared at his father.
"Why don't you just sail away, Father and leave me alone!" Legolas retorted.
"Because I actually CARE about Mirkwood and don't want to see it burn to the ground because you accidentally left a candle burning while you slept!" Thranduil sneered.
"Oh, ONE MISTAKE and suddenly I'm evil!" Legolas screamed.
"EVIL!" Thranduil shouted, pointing viciously at Legolas, nearly poking out Gandalf's eye as he viciously jabbed towards his son. Aragorn was still mocking Legolas. Finally, Legolas stopped screaming at his father and turned to Legolas.
"I DON'T act like that! And how do you like this!" Legolas said viciously. "ARWEN! ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN!" Legolas screamed. Arwen came running.
"What is it?" She asked, worried. Her gaze fell to Thranduil, still pointing at Legolas, at Gandalf who was raising his staff to hit Thranduil over the head with, Aragorn who was twirling his hair and walking pigeon toed, and Legolas, shrieking at the top of his lungs.
"Well, the last time we were in Rohan, you'll never guess what Aragorn did. You see," Legolas said viciously, venom pouring into his words. Aragorn screamed loudly and covered Legolas's mouth with his hand.
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BLONDIE!" Aragorn shrieked. Aragorn suddenly yelped in pain. Legolas had bit him. Aragorn pulled his hand away. Two bite marks were clearly visible, outlined in red. Aragorn stared in shock.
"You bit me! Now I'm going to die because I was bitten by a rabid elf! I'm going to kill you first!" Aragorn shouted, pulling out Anduin and brandishing the sword. Legolas's face blanched, he began to scream in a very high pitched tone and began to run.
"Have fun, boys." Arwen said, who had watched this exchange. Shaking her head, she retreated into the castle. There was a sharp crack as Gandalf whacked Thranduil over the head with the staff. Everyone settled back down.
"Glad that's settled." Eomer said with a relieved sigh. There was a collective murmur. Elrond had buried his face in his hands. That was the son in law he was proud of?
"Faramir, you take over as head of council." Gandalf advised. Faramir nodded and stood up.
"I'm sorry, Lord Gandalf, but the land is going to Merry and Pippin." Faramir said, pulling out of his pocket the deed to Isengard. Pippin reached for it eagerly. Gandalf grabbed it.
"No!" He shouted. Pippin's face fell.
"Could I just hold,"
"No."
"Could I touch,"
"No."
"Could I smell,"
"NO."
"Could I taste,"
"No."
"Could I breathe,"
"PEREGRIN TOOK DON'T EVEN LOOK AT IT." He snarled. Pippin sighed and settled back in his chair, his eyes closed obediently.
"Gandalf, give that deed to those Hobbits this instant." Elrond ordered, desperate to stop the insanity.
"Who made you Lord of the Deed all of a sudden?" Gandalf asked with a snap. Elrond stood up.
"Don't make me bring up the Shadowfax issue!" Elrond threatened. Suddenly, Eomer stood up.
"I'm sick of this! I want to go home some time this Millennium!" He said with an angry sigh. He snatched the deed from Gandalf and handed it to Merry. Merry grinned and waved it in front of Pippin's face.
"Look Pip, we're the Lord of Isengard!" Pippin said nothing. His eyes remained shut, his expression stayed the same.
"Pip?" Merry asked, shaking him. Pippin's eyes snapped open.
"What?" He asked groggily.
"Were you asleep?" Asked Merry incredulously. Pippin smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry, what'd I miss?" He asked. Eomer rolled his eyes.
"Come, I'll bring you there. I've had enough." A loud, piercing yelp suddenly caused everyone to look up. Aragorn was walking back, looking smug. He sank down in his chair again.
"This council is dissolved." He said, getting up again after banging a gavel on the arm of his chair.
"ARAGORN, YOU SHUT ME IN THE BUTT WITH A FLAMING ARROW!" Everyone heard Legolas scream. The remaining (and conscious) members of the council looked at each other, then at Aragorn, then at Thranduil, and back towards where they heard Legolas screeching.
"C'ya next time."
"We'll have to do this again some time."
"Yeah, maybe Rohan next time."
"Great, see you there."
"So, Aragorn, what happened in Rohan?" Asked Arwen, appearing as everyone else was running quickly towards the exit. Aragorn looked at the ground.
"I won't be sleeping in my own bed tonight, will I?" He asked, disheartened. Arwen smiled smugly.
"Probably...not."
Gandalf stood quickly.
"Are you mad? Giving such a piece of land to this Fool of a Took and his rascal friend?" He thundered. Merry hit Pippin on the shoulder.
"Hear that, Pip? We've inherited Isengard!" Pippin grinned and slid out of his chair.
"Great! We'll take it!" Pippin announced grandly. There was a smattering of applause. Gandalf glared in rage.
"They cannot have it! I will take it!" He said in desperation. Thranduil glared openly at Gandalf the White.
"Don't be greedy, old man!" He snapped. Gandalf straightened in surprise.
"Who are you calling old?" He asked snottily. Thranduil rolled his eyes.
"Denial." He muttered. Gandalf's eyes widened in shock.
"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!" Gandalf sneered. Aragorn glared haughtily at them both.
"There will be none of this jealousy and arguing in my court!" He said, trying to break up the fight before it was a full out reenactment of Gandalf vs. Saruman.
"Stop trying to be all high and mighty!" Legolas snapped angrily at Aragorn. He was still feeling ornery from the fight he had had earlier with his father. "Beat him with the stick, Gandalf!" Legolas muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Gandalf. Aragorn wheeled around to face Legolas.
"I will not have you promoting war, Legolas! And I'm wasn't being all high and mighty!" Aragorn said, pouting. Legolas always spoiled his fun.
"Yes, you were." Legolas snarled. Aragorn glared at him, then let his face go slack, put on a goofy smile and began to twirl his hair.
"Oh look at me, I'm Legolas! A stupid, pretty elf who only cares about my hair!" Aragorn sang in a high voice. Legolas turned red.
"I do NOT act like that, Aragorn!" Thranduil however, was now angry once more with his son.
"BLOOD TRAITOR! How DARE you shame this family! First you and that horrible little dwarf become friends, now you befriend an insane human and insult me in front of everyone!" Thranduil shouted. Legolas tore his gaze away from the prancing Aragorn and glared at his father.
"Why don't you just sail away, Father and leave me alone!" Legolas retorted.
"Because I actually CARE about Mirkwood and don't want to see it burn to the ground because you accidentally left a candle burning while you slept!" Thranduil sneered.
"Oh, ONE MISTAKE and suddenly I'm evil!" Legolas screamed.
"EVIL!" Thranduil shouted, pointing viciously at Legolas, nearly poking out Gandalf's eye as he viciously jabbed towards his son. Aragorn was still mocking Legolas. Finally, Legolas stopped screaming at his father and turned to Legolas.
"I DON'T act like that! And how do you like this!" Legolas said viciously. "ARWEN! ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN!" Legolas screamed. Arwen came running.
"What is it?" She asked, worried. Her gaze fell to Thranduil, still pointing at Legolas, at Gandalf who was raising his staff to hit Thranduil over the head with, Aragorn who was twirling his hair and walking pigeon toed, and Legolas, shrieking at the top of his lungs.
"Well, the last time we were in Rohan, you'll never guess what Aragorn did. You see," Legolas said viciously, venom pouring into his words. Aragorn screamed loudly and covered Legolas's mouth with his hand.
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BLONDIE!" Aragorn shrieked. Aragorn suddenly yelped in pain. Legolas had bit him. Aragorn pulled his hand away. Two bite marks were clearly visible, outlined in red. Aragorn stared in shock.
"You bit me! Now I'm going to die because I was bitten by a rabid elf! I'm going to kill you first!" Aragorn shouted, pulling out Anduin and brandishing the sword. Legolas's face blanched, he began to scream in a very high pitched tone and began to run.
"Have fun, boys." Arwen said, who had watched this exchange. Shaking her head, she retreated into the castle. There was a sharp crack as Gandalf whacked Thranduil over the head with the staff. Everyone settled back down.
"Glad that's settled." Eomer said with a relieved sigh. There was a collective murmur. Elrond had buried his face in his hands. That was the son in law he was proud of?
"Faramir, you take over as head of council." Gandalf advised. Faramir nodded and stood up.
"I'm sorry, Lord Gandalf, but the land is going to Merry and Pippin." Faramir said, pulling out of his pocket the deed to Isengard. Pippin reached for it eagerly. Gandalf grabbed it.
"No!" He shouted. Pippin's face fell.
"Could I just hold,"
"No."
"Could I touch,"
"No."
"Could I smell,"
"NO."
"Could I taste,"
"No."
"Could I breathe,"
"PEREGRIN TOOK DON'T EVEN LOOK AT IT." He snarled. Pippin sighed and settled back in his chair, his eyes closed obediently.
"Gandalf, give that deed to those Hobbits this instant." Elrond ordered, desperate to stop the insanity.
"Who made you Lord of the Deed all of a sudden?" Gandalf asked with a snap. Elrond stood up.
"Don't make me bring up the Shadowfax issue!" Elrond threatened. Suddenly, Eomer stood up.
"I'm sick of this! I want to go home some time this Millennium!" He said with an angry sigh. He snatched the deed from Gandalf and handed it to Merry. Merry grinned and waved it in front of Pippin's face.
"Look Pip, we're the Lord of Isengard!" Pippin said nothing. His eyes remained shut, his expression stayed the same.
"Pip?" Merry asked, shaking him. Pippin's eyes snapped open.
"What?" He asked groggily.
"Were you asleep?" Asked Merry incredulously. Pippin smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry, what'd I miss?" He asked. Eomer rolled his eyes.
"Come, I'll bring you there. I've had enough." A loud, piercing yelp suddenly caused everyone to look up. Aragorn was walking back, looking smug. He sank down in his chair again.
"This council is dissolved." He said, getting up again after banging a gavel on the arm of his chair.
"ARAGORN, YOU SHUT ME IN THE BUTT WITH A FLAMING ARROW!" Everyone heard Legolas scream. The remaining (and conscious) members of the council looked at each other, then at Aragorn, then at Thranduil, and back towards where they heard Legolas screeching.
"C'ya next time."
"We'll have to do this again some time."
"Yeah, maybe Rohan next time."
"Great, see you there."
"So, Aragorn, what happened in Rohan?" Asked Arwen, appearing as everyone else was running quickly towards the exit. Aragorn looked at the ground.
"I won't be sleeping in my own bed tonight, will I?" He asked, disheartened. Arwen smiled smugly.
"Probably...not."