I'm planning this and about a chapter ahead of myself, but it's been a bit of a non-starter, mostly because NaNo fried my little brain and for a whole week I could write. A week!!! It's been terrible. Got hit by inspiration today while looking at policemen (I don't know why, they have no relevance to this at all) so spent an afternoon in a coffee shop consuming far too much of the sacred beverage and scribbling like mad. Those of you not aware, I have changed the end of the first chapter to tie it into 5.10, literally a line so re-read it so you don't get too confused. It made sense to shift this to tie in there rather than anywhere else. Plus Londo ate my kneecaps until I did it. (Yes, I named my plot bunnies)

Chapter Two.

Once he is certain that the two Winchesters are safe, which is a relative term given that both sides of this war want them for one reason or another and none of those are in either man's best interest, Castiel takes his leave of them hastily, he has too much on his mind to be of much use to the brothers. He lingers just long enough to be told the fate of Jo and Ellen and while he feels some sorrow about Ellen, he feels only the twist of something dark at the thought of Jo. It shames him to think that a vision of a possible future has had such an effect on him.

Truth of it all is, everything that he has experienced since the vision that Lucifer showed him has felt wrong. It has been tinged with an edge of need and has given him a sensation of dark and black and terrible. It is something inside him that is foreign, scary, an alien thing inside that pushes at him and no matter what he tries as the days pass he simply cannot make it leave.

He has tried avoiding Dean, hoping that by not seeing the hunter this dark thing that Lucifer has unlocked within him, this lust, will go away. He has not seen Dean in the days since he spirited the boys away from under Lucifer's nose, and he is not foolish enough to think that Lucifer did anything other than let him take the boys, his fallen brother knew what he was planning even as he opened the gates to allow lust, insatiable and greedy, to fog his mind.

Avoiding the hunter has not helped much. In fact it has not helped at all, it has just made things far worse because now he hurts in a way he has never experienced before. He throws himself into the task of searching for his Father again and hopes that the distraction will take his mind off a sin that he has not yet committed.

Castiel can easily admit that he has been tempted by Dean for a while now, has been tempted since he abandoned the ranks of Heaven to follow the path he felt right. Lucifer is exactly the sort to be aware of the new things that he was experiencing and to take advantage of them. His fallen brother may not ever really lie, but he has been known to bend the truth on more than one occasion. Castiel wonders if there is another reason for showing him this future.

Just thinking about the events that may happen makes something in the angel stir, something that he remembers from his experience of the future, and it makes his breath catch in his throat a little. He does not want this, does not want to feel like this, the heat running through his veins as the blood in the body that was once a vessel rushes south, the stirring of flesh that he was never meant to experience. It scares him.

Castiel does not want to deal with it in the way that he knows Dean would, does not want to relive those memories on his own. That possibly scares him more, that he wants to create new memories and feel Dean's hands on him rather than his own. He pushes the desire down where it belongs as he wanders into a sea that buffets and stings as the winds sings through his ears. The chill water soothes the problem quickly as and as effectively as he had hoped, even if it is a little cruel and very unsatisfying. The angel turns his face up to the sky as lightning flashes above him, rain drops that carry the scent of winter and the promise of snow fall sharply against his cheeks as he spreads his diminished senses and hopes for just a moment to feel his Father's presence.

He feels nothing, just as he knew that he would, and he lets the disappointment of crushed hope fill him for a long moment.

In his pocket, his cell phone buzzes briefly, still working even with all the mistreatment over the last weeks. It is another reminder of the power that is abandoning him and he wonders why Lucifer is not so lessened when he, too, abandoned Heaven and his Father in a pointless war against the creation of humanity, and really the war was pointless. Still, he knows that the person trying to get hold of him is Dean, the hunter has been for a few days now, and while Castiel's nearly frozen body is warmed by Dean's concern for him, a dark part of him wishes that Dean would stop.

For the first time in weeks, Castiel answers and moments later he is at Bobby's home, dry now and not even the faintest trace of the sea remains as evidence of the hours he has spent in solitude. Dean glares at him when he arrives and in the older Winchester Castiel can see annoyance, an aggravation at being kept waiting, at being made to worry. There is anger, too, and the angel does not understand why that is directed with such force, such blame, at him. As their eyes are so wont to do they lock together, leaving them staring at each other, one in frustration and the other in false indifference.

He does not understand the rush of emotion that flows through him in that moment, the want and the need and sheer desire and he wonders why it has not lessened, wonders what his brother, fallen brother, has done to him. He can tell that Dean knows that something is wrong, can tell that Dean knows that Lucifer has done something that has changed things as they stand between them because the hunter breaks contact far sooner than he usually would, face morphing from angry to confused and concerned. Castiel does not like seeing that expression on Dean and it makes him wonder what the hunter saw in his own eyes that has brought this forward.

Part of Castiel wants to explain, wants to tell Dean what Lucifer showed him, the future where Dean and Sam are apart again and all that the angel and the hunter have is each other. He wants to tell Dean how their friendship seems to progress beyond the slightly uneasy tolerance that they sometimes display to something more. He does not, because he knows Dean and he knows that Lucifer bends the truth. Most of all, he knows that if he tells Dean what he has seen the hunter will panic and worry, he will vehemently deny the possibility of it ever happening and while part of Castiel wants that reassurance, another part of him never wants to hear it.

"What happened, Cas," Dean asks, and Castiel tilts his head to one side, hopes that his feigned confusion is enough to convince the hunter. "What did he do to you?" Dean is many things, Castiel knows, but completely stupid is not one of them. The hunter is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the impression that he gives on occasion is that this is a facade, that there is far more going on between his ears than he lets on.

"He wanted me to join him, brought to the surface a few truths that I have been ignoring." Which is something of the truth even if it is not all of it. Dean's eyebrows twitch and Castiel knows that he is aware he is not being told the whole truth.

"Like what?" Dean asks and Castiel looks around them, takes in the rusting cars and the stars that are half obscured by the dulling brilliance of the security lights, avoiding Dean's gaze as he tells him.

"Once Lucifer is defeated my brethren will turn their attention upon me. In comparison to him, I am a minor aggravation," Castiel says finally. Dean nods.

"You know we wouldn't let them do that," he says. There is a reassurance in the way that Dean says the words, even if Castiel knows that there is no way that Dean can keep this promise. Even if the hunter survives Lucifer, makes it through without being killed, falling into Zachariah's clutches or becoming Michael's vessel, his life is finite. Castiel, on the other hand, is as close to immortal as he can be at this precise moment.

Even with his drastically lessened grace, the angel knows that he will be remarkably hard to injure, let alone kill, and that if this is the case for him, Dean will find his brethren a far more difficult task given that they are all now much more powerful than he is. He does not point any of this out to Dean, knows that it would be counter productive, and settles for a simple nod in acknowledgement, feels the warmth of Dean's hand as the hunter claps him on the shoulder. Then the man is walking away, glancing once over his shoulder to make sure that the angel is following, and talking about how they need a new plan. This is something that the angel can agree with completely.

It's short, I'm sorry. But let me know your thoughts anyway

Artemis