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Abby POV

I watched jess almost fall through the door, looking more than a little flushed. I wasn't surprised, she'd been coming here most lunches Lester didn't give her paper work. She'd help me with the animals and we'd eat and talk about cloths, shoes and TV. She's still the same old jess but sometimes I'd fine her staring into space just looking sad. I knew why, pretty much everyone in the ARC knew. No one ever said anything about it though, other than Connor's occasional teasing of Becker.

Sometimes I really want to punch him, really hard and scream at him to look at Jess, really look at her, and then say that she doesn't't care about him!

Because I know that's what she says it just gossip, just ARC staff whispering when they've got nothing better to do. Then he just gives you that look, that look that's says this conversation is over and walks away. I didn't mind it at first, I even through it was funny the way he point blank refuses to admit his feelings for even through its so obvious. I through he was just getting embarrassed by people talking about his feelings. But know I know it was hurting Jess. Each blasé comment cutting deeper into her, hurting her more than the last. His attitude of being almost obsessively caring about her one minute and then not saying 3 words to her for days, other than on comm's. But that's the problem, that's what makes Becker the worst person Jess could have fallen for. He doesn't like being cared about.

Poor Jess.

That's it, I'm just going to ask her about it. I've been wanting to for weeks but I've just never found the right moment. I live with her but I just didn't't know how to ask.

I'm just going to come out with it. It was the best way I could think of.

We'd just finished eating and we were talking about one of Jess's favourite topic's. Shoes. I thought it time to just bite the bullet and do it.

"Jess" I said coarsely "are you ok?"

"yeah ,why wouldn't I be" she said far to quickly.

"You know who I'm asking about Jess." I said softly.

"A certain captain" she said with a laugh that was less than half hearted but still managed to keep a bitter edge. Jess pause for a minute her gaze firmly on her hands. The minute dragged and felt like so much longer. "I don't know, I, I just never know what's happening with him. One minute he'll just completely blank me, to busy being 'captain Becker' the next he'll be all charming and bring me chocolate. Sometimes, sometimes he'll just come up to the ADD and have a chat. And sometimes I honestly think he might even be flirting with me."

"Jess…" I cut in, and rested an arm around her shoulder. She sounded like she was on the verge of being hysterical.

"But I know that it was just me trying to over analyses everything. Me trying to see what I want to see. But I can't kid myself forever I know that. And I'm fine. Really. I'm getting over it." she took a hungered breath "after the beetles thing I heard ever detain off Emily, and I know that he was really caring. And I'm certain that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here." she gestured to the room absentmindedly." do you know what's pathetic though, I spent 8 hours pacing up and down the flat that night, wondering what that meant, what meant to him. Over analysing everything" she screwed her eye shut, and I swear I saw a tear escape her. But maybe it was just the light. But then her eye open and she looked me straight in the eye "but was what he did for me any more than what he would have done for any of us. Look I know it doesn't't seam like much but I'm just going to concentrate on making sure he's ok , and being there if he needs me."

Her voice broke in several places but he eye that held my gaze for a moment held such honesty, such raw emotions, I had to look away.

Oh jess. Poor lovely jess. "jess" I said my voice sounding horse.

"don't worry, I can handle this on my own" were her parting words punctuated with a breathy sigh that she tried to make into some sort of laugh.

I am going to slap Becker, really hard.

I know he loves jess, I've know him for 3 years now and I have never seen him half as worried as he had been when she had that allergic reaction. He wasn't just worried though. He was scared. Fearless captain Becker was scared. Scared of losing her. And if he didn't't pull his act together soon he will end up losing her. Why do hey have to have to be the blindest emotional retards ever?

hope you liked it, please review they mean the world to me.

next chapter will be up ASP

(next chapter Beckers POV)