(A/N: Sorry this is late - but I've had some of it already written - I just had to finish it. This will not be as long as the first chapter. The first one was more of like a prologue to this chapter. I really wanted to start it this way but then I came up with the first chapter. There will be a lot of thoughts that Lucy will be having - mostly dark - but here's chapter two. PS - Please don't be like: "That's not how it should go", everyone deals with their own situations differently. And part of it is based on how I felt.)
Lucy was sitting on the infirmary bed, hugging her knees close to her chest. This wasn't how she thought anything should happen. She wanted nothing more than just to disappear from the site of her Guild members. This was something more strange. Her magical powers were getting out of control and she didn't know how much longer she would be able to keep a hold on her magic. She needed more training for sure, but Mira was busy with Freed and Erza...Well who knew where Erza went when she wasn't at the guild. Lucy wondered what was going to be happening now.
Lucy sighed as she bit her lip. "How can I face him now that I know the truth? But then again - He didn't know I was there. Maybe I can play it off like I didn't know" Lucy thought as she wondered how everything was to be happening.
Just as Lucy was getting out of bed to go look out the window, someone came into the room and walked over to her. She turned around and saw Loke. She knew that look on his face. He was going to tell her that he knew that she was there listening to him and Bickslow talk.
"Lucy - I won't tell him, but I know you were.." Loke said looking at her.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know your magic! I know you know!"
"Know what?"
"God Damn it Lucy! You heard Bickslow tell me that he knows that you are his Soul Mate!"
"L-Loke, I s-swear I didn't mean hear any of it!"
"You'll have to tell him."
"Wh-What if I don't want to?"
"Lucy, as your Celestial Spirit, you should tell him. Think of it is as like - I wouldn't hide anything from you!"
"Loke - you kept from the whole guild for three years that you are a Celestial Spirit and that you were dying! Well more like disappearing from the Earthland."
"That is totally different. I was a different person back then -"
"So you are telling me, you don't come out of your gate to hook up with women in the middle of the night?"
"Uhh, Yup!"
"Loke..."
"Fine! I do. Now go down there and tell -"
Just then, when neither of them knew. Bickslow opened the door and walked in. "Tell who?" Bickslow asked.
"Tell Bickslow, that Lucy heard mine and his conversation." Loke said without knowing who walked into the room.
"She what?" Bickslow asked.
Just then Loke turned around and saw that it was Bickslow. "Ohhh...Hey..Bickslow."
"What did you hear?" Bickslow turned his attention to Lucy.
"Th-That I'm your Soul Mate and that you knew since...the Grand Magic Games." She whispered.
Bickslow walked over to her and stood in front of her. His tall frame towering over her short one. She was scared. She didn't know the first thing about love. Everyone thought it was either her and Natsu that would get together. That turned out of be false when he announced to the whole guild that Lisanna was his mate. The next thing that started floating around the guild was that it was her and Loke. Not that everyone would think it wasn't true. He had a habit of appearing out of nowhere and opening his own gate. It was kind of creepy and no wonder everyone thought that they were together. He was just all up her in business. But Bickslow? This was something that people wouldn't believe at all.
"Cosplayer..." Bickslow said looking at her.
"What?" She asked.
"You seem frighten at the thought.
"The thought of what?"
"Being my Soul Mate...I'm sure you wished it was Natsu."
"What are you talking about?"
"You rather be with Natsu then me."
"Bickslow...It's not true. I look to Natsu more as a brother."
"Loke?"
"He...He can't keep his hands off of other women. So I wouldn't think so."
"HEY!" Loke said.
"Loke go home!" Lucy said.
"Nah! I have a date with someone." Loke walked out of the room and left the guild.
"Won't he drain your magic?" Bickslow asked.
"It's not my magic he's using. He's on his own." Lucy looked at Bickslow and then looked at the sheets.
"Cosplayer, tell me the truth.."
"There is no truth. You don't frighten me, the thought of us being mates doesn't frighten me either. It's just that...It's mostly Mira..."
"Mira?"
"Yeah, she's been trying to get me to confess that I have feelings for you and I really don't know if should tell her that we are soul mates."
"Well..."
"What did you do?"
"She might already know that we are soul mates."
"How?"
"Um...She caught me looking at you one day and I just couldn't help it and I told her the truth."
Lucy blushed at his words. How could she not notice his stare before? It was the strangest thing in the world. The two of them - most unlikely pair in all of Fairy Tail - well unless you count Freed and Mira? But that's totally something different. Sure there could be something similar in their magic. Seith mages control souls and place them in objects. Celestial mages call upon spirits to fight in battles. Two different kinds of 'Spirits' but they still use them. Some of the similarities could be that - the souls that they both use have their own personality. Though a major difference could be that Celestial Spirits go back to regain their magic powers, while the souls from the Seith mage- their bodies could be destroyed but the seith mage could just move the soul into something else. Bickslow had an immortal army.
"Cosplayer - you should get some sleep." Bickslow said.
"I - I don't want to."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"N-Y-N..I don't even know anymore! I...I want to tell someone but, I don't know if I'm ready yet." Lucy sighed.
"Just tell me what's on your mind."
"...Ever since the Grand Magic Games. A lot of things happened, when I got back home, I realized that I never really had a great relationship with my father. I wish I had back then, but now that he's gone...What am I going to do? I lost my mother and now my father. The only connection I have to my mother is Aquarius, Capricorn and Cancer." Lucy bit her lip.
"What else is there?"
"I keep having nightmares, I wake up screaming in the middle of the night because of them. They become more and more realistic as the time goes on."
"What are they about?"
"My father and my mother. Mostly my father. I didn't end on good terms with him - I miss him. I wish I had a second chance with him like Cana did. Some part of me envy's her for still having her father around and how he is so proud of her."
"Lucy - "
That was the first time Bickslow has called Lucy - by her name. It was surprising to hear it from him.
"You called me Lucy..." Lucy cut him off once she heard her name come from his lips.
"I did not!" He shook his head. Trying to cover it up. "Cosplayer, I mean, not all of us are lucky like you, Cana, Laxus, and even Romeo!"
"Is there a point?"
"My parents died three months before the Grand Magic Games."
"I - I'm sorry." Lucy whispered.
"Laxus still had - some what still has Ivan and Romeo still has Macao. What I'm getting at is, just because your dad - your parents aren't still with you, but that doesn't mean you don't have a father figure. Makarov looks to all of us like his own children. No one knows why - Someone believes that it was because of Ivan leaving that then on he would start calling his new members his children."
"That's true."
"So don't be sad."
Lucy looked at him and tried to smile. Something inside her was breaking. She didn't know what it was, but she was sure that she was going to be okay - if she could ever heal. It was all new to her. This feeling - the feelings that Bickslow have for her. She always thought that he was a pervert - it's what you get when you hang around Laxus - Not that he's perverted...Or is he? Lucy shook her head and looked at Bickslow.
"Are you - Are you sure that I'm your soul mate?" She asked.
"Yes. Your Soul sings to me Lucy."
"How does it sing to you?"
Lucy was really confused on how this could happen. She was sure that souls really don't sing. It was pretty impossible, wasn't it?
"I don't know how to describe it, but each Soul has it's own song that it sings - kind of - but yours was the strongest song."
"I see."
Lucy wasn't sure if she believed him or not. Lucy was looked over at him - she was sure that something was going to be crazy. She wanted to believe in him - but she was sure that Bickslow was joking with her. He was known for joking around the guild when he was around other people. There was nothing more to him. Could this be serious? Could this just be one joke and Loke was in on it? What was going to be happening?
Lucy woke up the next day - the sun was shinning through the curtain in the room. She sat up in the bed replaying last night in her head. Bickslow. Soul Mate. Those are the first things that came to her mind from that night. She was sure that there was going to be something else, but Lucy was sure that she couldn't be his Soul Mate. There was no way. She - She just couldn't.
"I can't be...He's just joking with me." Lucy whispered to herself.
"Princess...Do you need help?" Virgo said opening her own gate.
"AH! Virgo!" Lucy screamed.
"Punishment?"
"No. I..umm don't need help."
Lucy moved the blanket off of her body and went towards the bathroom. Virgo would follow her - carrying clothes that she got from Lucy's apartment. Virgo stayed close by - as it per Loke's rule. Virgo would stay in the bathroom to see if Lucy ever needed help with anything. Everyone of her Celestial Spirits could feel how sad she would get, Aquarius was the only one who had a stronger connection to Lucy, so it was a stronger connection to Lucy's feelings.
Lucy was under the hot water as someone else just entered the room. It was Mira who entered the room to give Lucy, her milkshake and some food. There was nothing more happier than Lucy wondering what was going to be happening. From inside the bathroom - Virgo could hear Mira walk in so she walked out of the room. As Lucy was still in the bathroom taking her hot shower - trying to forget last night's memories.
"Hello Mirajane." Virgo said.
"Virgo, hello. How is she this morning?" Mira asked as she made Lucy's bed.
"Princess seems to be doing fine."
"Well, I just hope that everything goes okay with Bickslow. He really does like her - he may seem like a joker around the guild, but he really likes her."
"I'm sure Princess will come around."
"I hope so too, I don't want to her to feel so alone."
There was golden spark and it was Loke - who likes to open his own gate. "Virgo, go on and rest." He said.
"Yes Brother." Virgo nodded her head as she went back to the Spirit world.
"Loke - I thought you were suppose to rest up.."
"I'm fine Mira - we all feel how sad she is - she's really depressed and we can't do anything. She usually calls out Plue sometimes but it feels like that she won't do it anymore."
Mira looked at them and then she was could see that the snowman dog wasn't around anymore like he used to be. Lucy became different - after the Grand Magic Games. Was it because of seeing her future self die in front of her? Was it because there was something else that was bothering her? Not everyone in Fairy Tail knew what she was going through - hell - no one knew! It was the saddest thing to hear because Lucy was their family, their Light, their friend. Mira sighed and looked at Lucy walking out in clothes.
"Mira..." Lucy looked at her first and then looked down at the ground.
"Lucy, we just want to know why, can you at least tell me."
"I can't - I won't. Please Mira, you have to understand that I don't want to drag anyone else into this."
"Lucy..."
"Please Mira, you have to understand."
"Of course, whenever you are ready to tell me, I will be here for you."
Lucy hugged Mira. Sure Lucy wanted to tell Mira - but it was something that she wasn't sure that she could handle. Mira was sure her best friend, but she was also sure that nothing like that would happen again. It was a while after Mira left that Lucy was able to leave the floor. Some part of her was scared to face everyone - she had to know that she was going to be questioned - cornered somehow. She had to leave without anyone seeing her. As she walked down the flight of stairs she noticed that Erza was at the bar. She started to panic, but took a deep breath and walked right by and out the door before a dragon slayer noticed her. Before HE noticed her. Lucy couldn't face Bickslow today - there was no way. She had to go home and get rid of the stress somehow.
Lucy was finally home - but that was when she realized that she forgot her keys. The keys she promised that she would never leave anywhere. Mostly being a holder type she was going t have trouble without her keys. Sure she was learning new magic, but she also had to make sure that she was going to be okay - she relayed on her keys most of the time. That was why everyone called her weak -
"I...I'm nothing without my keys.." Lucy whispered as sat on her bedroom floor.
She should've gone back and get them, but she didn't want to bump into Bickslow - or her team. Her new magic wasn't even close to being able to fight with. Lucy was remembering all the times that she was weak - where she was useless - where she couldn't help but be bait.
"Did everyone in the guild think I was weak?" Lucy wondered.
"Of course they do! You are nothing but a pretty upperclass gal. You shouldn't even become a wizard!" A voice said - inside Lucy's head.
"Everyone..." Lucy mumbled as she got up.
"It would be better if you just ended your life. You are only friends with spirits anyways - and even some of them HATE you! Remember Loke? He wouldn't even tell you the truth about him until he was dying! He only used you so he could go back to the spirit world!"
"Loke isn't like that...Is he?" Lucy thought.
"Of course is he! This is Loke, a playboy!"
"No!" Lucy shook her head.
She walked all the way to the bathroom and now she was staring at herself in the mirror. She looked at herself as she bit her lip looking at it.
"Look at you! A common whore looking girl. You won't have anyone, and let's be honest - Bickslow was lying about the Soul Mate thing. He only wants you for your boobs and you look like an easy laid."
"I..." Lucy gripped the counter as she kept looking at herself. "Stop talking!"
"Happy keeps calling you FAT! Even Natsu agreed! How much do you want to bet EVERYONE in the guild thinks the same when you wear those slutty looking skirts, and shirts. They look at you with DISGUST!"
Lucy fell to the ground crying. She couldn't believe that this VOICE was right - was it? She couldn't tell anymore. She wanted the voice to stop talking like that. She wasn't like that. She...Lucy was fine. Natsu and Happy could be lying. Everyone - and her outfits - maybe the outfits were a bit...showing. There was knock at her door that brought her out of the thoughts she was having. she got up and walked to her door and looked through the peep hole to see that it was Bickslow standing on the other side.
"What do you want?" Lucy asked through the door.
"I came by to give you the keys you left at the guild.." Bickslow said.
"I...Just leave them outside the door.."
"Lucy open the door..Please."
"NO!"
"Lucy, what is going on with you! You've been acting strange ever since this morning - well last night."
"I...:
"Is this because I said we were Sou-"
"Don't finish that! Please, just go."
"You have to push everyone away from you! You can't have any distractions."
"Lucy, just open the door."
"I-I can't."
"Lucy!"
"Bickslow, just go!"
"...If that's what you want."
Lucy heard his footsteps walk away. She had her back against the door -keeping it locked to make sure that no one was going to be coming in.
"The window, Natsu comes in through the window and Gray comes in through the chimney" The Voice said.
"Right..."
Lucy was able to lock the window and sealed off the chimney. She had to make sure that everything was okay. Was she going to be okay herself? Why was there a reason to listening to this voice was in her head? Why was there a voice in her head? Was it always there? Lucy was going to have a hard time in the morning to explain everyone in the guild - wait - was this voice telling her something that she wanted to do?
"Why am I doing this?"
"Because - no one - NO ONE wants you around. You should start cutting yourself, and feel the pain that everyone feels when you are around them."
"..."
Lucy looked at the mirror on her vanity - was she really going to do it? Was she THAT kind of girl? What was going on with her...Lucy was going to be going crazy. Lucy shook her head, she knew better - Team Natsu needed her - right? She walked to the bed and sat down. Should she keep listening to this voice inside her head? If she did - what would keep happening if she did. There had to be someone who could help her. The Guild, maybe Mira could help her - but what if Mira tells everyone else...What about Erza? No..Erza could do the same thing.
"No one will help you. You have to do it yourself. Don't you know that Happy and Natsu are right - you are fat! Too heavy for them to carry you."
"That...That can't be true. They never said a thing."
"They don't have to say it! You can see it in their faces."
Lucy got up from her bed and went through her things, she knew that there had to be something here. She was going to give into the voice - which in her mind wasn't the voice of reason. She had to listen to something, she couldn't keep listening to herself - or the voice inside her.
Back at the guild, when Bickslow came back holding Lucy's keys. Mira walked over to him.
"You were supposed to give her the keys.." Mira said softly.
"I tried. She wouldn't let me in the apartment, OR opened the door just to take them back." Bickslow said.
Just then the keys started glowing, and of course everyone's favorite play boy came out.
"Where is she!" Loke asked.
"Loke what is?" Erza asked.
"Where is Lucy?" He asked.
"She's at home, she didn't want your keys back." Mira looked at him.
"She's hurt...You gotta get to her." Loke said. "You have to break down the door - something is happening to her and I don't like it." Loke added as he disappeared back into the spirit world.
"What you do you think he meant? Was she with someone else in the apartment when you went in?" Mira turned to look at Bickslow.
"No, it was just her." Bickslow shook his head. "I would've known if someone else was in there."
"We have to see her and make sure that everything is okay!" Natsu said as he was about to run out of the building.
Erza grabbed onto the back of his shirt. "No, Bickslow will go alone with her keys and do not come back until she is back here." Erza glared at Bickslow.
"Yeah - Yeah." Bickslow said walking out of the building. He didn't understand what was going on with Lucy, but he was sure that something was going to be happening. What was wrong with her?
As he headed back to the apartment - he could hear something from Lucy's apartment as he was outside the door. He banged on the door, hoping she was going to be answering.
"Lucy! Open the door!"
Lucy held her wrist as it was bleeding. The cut wasn't that deep but the voice stopped talking to her for a while so she was okay for now. She grabbed her first aid kit and bandaged her wrist. That was when the voice came back inside her head.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"Bandaging up the cut..."
"Why would you do that? You won't get rid of the pain that fast."
"Why can't you leave me alone?!"
"I don't have to. You need me."
"No..." Lucy whimpered as she applied pressure to her wrist.
"Lucy! Open the door!" Lucy heard Bickslow bang on the door.
"GO AWAY!" Lucy shouted.
"Lucy, I won't go away until you open this door and let me come in! Don't make break down the door..." Bickslow said.
Lucy looked around and grabbed a sweater to cover her bandaged wrist. She walked over to the door and opened it. Lucy looked at the door, biting her lip. Was she going to actually open the door to show that everything was okay? What if he grabbed her wrist!? That was something that she shouldn't let happen to her. She walked over to the door making sure that everything was before she opened the door. She unlocked the door and opened it to see Bickslow - who was still holding onto her keys.
"What is going on with you?" Bickslow looked down at her - well physically because he was taller than she was.
"Nothing. I'm fine." Lucy forced the smile on her face.
"Lucy...Loke opened his gate, feeling pain. You need to tell me or so help me I will throw you over my shoulder and drag you to the fucking guild!"
"I - I...All that happened was that I tripped and sprained my ankle." Lucy half-lied. She did sprain her ankle before.
"Fine. Here are the keys. If you need me, just give me a call okay?"
"Sure."
Lucy watched Bickslow leave the apartment. She sighed as she knew that this was going to be strange. She had to make sure that everything was okay - but will it be? The cutting that she did, hurt - but then again she's been through worse because of Gajeel's beating. The pain of losing her father - it was the worse. The pain she felt when she saw her older self die, the pain of Minerva, the pain of Flare. Everything was happening around and she was the one who got hurt the most. She had to be brave. Lucy looked on her table and saw the letter that Blue Pegasus sent where they invited Lucy, Mira, and Erza to sing. Was she going to be able to do it? Was there going to be the fact that something was going to be stopping her from doing anything else?
"I...I still have to perform. I still have to be around them rather I want to or not."
Somewhere, someone was watching Lucy - they were the one implanting the voice inside her head, though Lucy didn't know that. She was sure that it her own self making the sense. The person smirked as they saw that Lucy was in pain. The way that she should be. Who was this person? Was someone going to be changing the way Lucy felt about Fairy Tail or was it that they wanted to kill her?
"My Lord, how is it going with our new test subject?" A demon said looking at the crystal orb which displayed the projection of Lucy Heartfilia pacing around her room.
"Everything is going to plan. She will learn her place." The Lord said smirking.
"When will she be under our control?"
"Once her spirit is completely broken, it will take a while - but the end result will be great. Fairy Tail will fall at the hands of their own 'Light of Fairy Tail'. Then she will be ours."