Reason number 128 why I don't own Death Note: Matt does not get more than 12 seconds of actual screen time.
WOW! Thanks guys for all the reviews! (Not comments, haha). I never expected that anyone would actually read my (exceedingly awful) writing. So, here's the next chapter, to CELEBRATE! Haha.
Mello's Guide to Girls
Phase 1:
Chapter
2:
Question
So I was like, "Yo, Mello!" I lounged on the couch pounding buttons on my game-boy trying to look nonchalant. And, you have no idea how hard that is when your god of a roommate appears above you, his shining blond hair hanging down in your face.
No. Must not think about that. Concentrate on your game.
"Whatcha playin?" You. No, Matt, concentrate.
"Grand Theft Auto," Oh thank god for manly games. Thank god I'm not playing my recently purchased Secret Agent Barbie game.
Now that game is seriously legit. Fricken sick.
"Sweet," Mello took a bite of his chocolate. Damn, I wish I was that chocolate. No, Matt, focus! "S'up?"
"I need your help." Oh god, please let this work. Mello licked the chocolate bar, his tongue caressing the bite marks, lusciously covered in melting chocolate.
NO! Eating chocolate is not a sexual activity.
Yes it is. Chocolate syrup and whip cream. I could cover myself with melted chocolate (Ouch, HOT!) and Mello could lick it all off. FAST! He'd have to lick fast so I wouldn't get burned or anything.
"With what?" Mello took another bite of his chocolate. Keep focus, Matt. "Not your game, I hope." I shook my head.
"With girls." Several expressions flew across Mello's face. There was surprise (was I doing that bad of a job hiding everything?) shock, (was it really that odd to ask a roommate for romantic advice?) disbelief, (c'mon Mel, I'm not that transparent, am I?) and finally (was I imagining it?) unhappiness. Well, that was probably because….
Oh, wait, who am I kidding. Mello couldn't really care less. He wasn't unhappy. In fact, he would actually be pleased.
And I am not a lost cause. I can totally get a girlfriend.
Ew. Its all for you Mello, its all for you.
"Can you help me?" Can you fuck me? But no, I can't ask that. That would be stupid. Mello shrugged.
"Sure, if you want," he bit his chocolate again with a snap. Yum.
"So what do I need to do?" Mello paused for a second giving me an up and down look. Yeah, that's right, check me out. I'm so damn hot even you, Mello, won't be able to resist me. Uhhuh! Keep looking.
Ok, so it was more of a passing glance. He definitely wasn't checking me out. But still, his lingering look, the intensity in his eyes gave me shivers and butterflies in my stomach.
That's what this whole plan is about anyway.
"I've never seen you pick up a girl before," Well, no shit. That's why I'm asking for help.
Mello gave me a slightly puzzled look that asked, why now?
"Not for lack of trying," I responded smoothly. Lie. I don't try. Why would I bother? I don't even like girls. I like Mello. Who, despite his looks it thoroughly male. I can attest to that, though Mello certainly wouldn't want to remember.
Oh, it had been a master production. And he had no idea…
But that's another story.
"Well, we'll go somewhere tonight. You can try and I will… observe the situation."
Lie. I could hear it in Mello's voice. We would go out, he would get wasted, and pick up chicks and I would be left alone.
Oh, what the hell. It would be almost like a date.
Almost.
"Sure," I shut off my game. I liked Super Mario better anyway.
Mello smirked.
"What?" I raised my eyebrow. His expression turned indignant, his eyes narrowing seductively. Although, I'm sure that wasn't the look he was going for.
"Shower and change. Girls like it when you smell good."
Yesh. I need a nice cold shower after that look anyway.
Level Up!: Shower Time! –
I don't suppose anyone wants to be Matt's first "victim". If you want to be, leave your name and eye and hair color.
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Xoxo
SatreProxy.