Your mind's amazing too

This is a little fic of what went through Rachel's head when she kissed Mike for the first time in 1x10. Hope you like it and don't forget to leave a review! :D xxx

'What?', Mike asked.

It was a Thursday night. The Pearson Hardman library was empty except for Mike and Rachel who had been working on a case. They had just found out a couple of days ago that Drybeck, the accountancy firm of Pearson Hardman was stealing money from them. Mike had gone illegally through some files and the only way to get to them was by typing them based on his memory. Rachel had offered to help, and after some time, they had finally finished. In the meantime, everyone else had gone home, and they were the only ones left. 'What?', Mike had asked when Rachel had been staring at him. She laughed shyly and tucked some of her dark hairs behind her ear.

'You're mind, it's just – It's so amazing.'

'Thanks', he answered modestly.

'What?', she returned the question when she noticed he was staring at her too.

'Your mind's amazing too.'

'O, thank you – thank you.'

Rachel's POV

Rachel's head started buzzing from the moment he had complimented her. Did he mean anything by it, or was he just being nice? Oh, for god's sake, cut it out Rachel – you're being crazy! Rachel had been struggling for months with her feelings for Mike, but now more than ever. She had always been attracted to him, even though she hadn't always wanted to admit it to herself. When they had met on his first day at the firm, she had known straight away that there was something different with this guy. He wasn't like any other new associate that started at the firm. No, he was modest and didn't act as if he deserved to be there. Over the course of their cases they started to work more often together and she soon noticed that he was interested in her too. Already on their first research in the library she had caught him staring at her for over more than five times. When he had asked her out, it had seemed logical to accept but still, she hadn't. She was scared, scared what would happen if she would give into her emotions. She had never felled so strongly about someone before and didn't like herself in this state. She felt unpredictable. She also knew that if they would get together and it would end badly – which in her experience always was the case- she would never be able to recover. So instead of giving in, she had decided to decline his offer and bury her feelings instead. From there on out she was going to ignore that there had ever been feelings in the first place. She had actually become quite good in the hide-your-feelings-for-the-handsome-guy-you-see-every-day, but this all had changed two days earlier when Jenny, perfect Jenny, had showed up at the front lobby of Pearson Hardman. Rachel had just entered when she recognized a familiar face. She remembered the blond hair from the mock trial. Rachel, who had been too naïve to the fact that there might be something going on between Jenny and Mike, had decided it was best to help her out. She better hadn't done it though, because since then Mike was the only thing on her mind. Rachel had gone up to Jenny to offer her help when Jenny told her. She told her how she had stayed the night at Mike's and that she needed to drop of his suit but couldn't get passed the security guard. Rachel, who didn't want to seem unfriendly, had taken the suit happily, but internally she was struck by jealousy. All she could think about during the elevator ride up was Mike. The feelings she had been ignoring successfully for weeks had now resurfaced and were stronger than ever.

And now, Mike had given her a compliment. They were alone in the library and her mind started racing to all the different scenarios of what it could mean. Was he interested in her? Was Jenny just a phase, someone to fill up the gap while he was waiting for Rachel to finally come around and agree to be with him? A smile appeared on her face when she thanked Mike again for the compliment. The smile vanished rather quickly when she looked up to see Mike looking at his cellphone.

'Who are you calling this late? Oh, she's waiting up for you?'

And then it hit her. He didn't compliment her to give her a sign that he was still interested. No, he was just being nice, because that's who he is. Just as he's being nice right now by wanting to call his perfect girlfriend – oblivious to the fact that it's too late to still call someone at this time of night. Rachel felt stupid. She had once again let her mind race off for one tiny second, and she had given herself hope that Mike was still interested. But he clearly wasn't, and she should have known better. Jenny was too perfect for a guy to not fall for her.

'Yeah, I guess you're right. It's pretty late. She's probably sleeping by now. I'll just text her', he replied still watching his screen as he walked to the side of the table.

Rachel, who hadn't overcome the recent change of events started talking absentminded now. 'It's tough to have a relationship with a first year, or any year. You just don't have a life.' Why was she telling him that? Because you want him to understand what you feel. 'How'd you make it work?', Mike asked, still more focused on his text.

'Who said I did? It's, it's impossible to have anything long-term unless you find someone who has the same 80-hour work week and then that doesn't work either because they're busy too.' Rachel had now moved too and stood in front of Mike. She wanted so badly to tell him that she wanted him, that she couldn't stop thinking about him and that all she wanted to do was kiss him. At that thought, her eyes moved to his lips. His perfect lips that looked so inviting. Once she had peeked a glance, she couldn't un-look. Mike was talking again. She watched as his lips were forming words but she wasn't able to make out what they were. The only sound was her beating heart, pounding at full speed in her chest. For a brief moment, she wondered how it was even possible for her heart to stay in her chest.

'Yeah well I'm not gonna let that be the reason that Jenny and I don't-', Mike was never able to finish his sentence. Rachel had taken up all her courage and taken the step forward. Without giving herself the chance to overthink it, she had pressed her lips upon his. She was overloaded by new emotions, impulses. The first was fear of what would happen if he didn't kiss her back. The question was immediately answered though by Mike who did kiss her back. The second emotion was more overwhelming. Who could have known how good it would feel to finally kiss the man she had been thinking about for months. She had always wondered what kind of kisser he would be. She thought him to be soft, gentle, but she wasn't completely right. It was so much more than that. When he kissed her back, a shot of electricity went through her whole body. She had a feeling that in that moment they shared more than just the touch of their lips.

She didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but if she had anything to say in the matter, it would have gone on forever. But it didn't. Their lips parted and she was now in a position she hadn't imagined herself to be in tonight. They both looked at each other, struck by the event that had just taken place. She looked into his eyes, searching for some answers. What did this mean? She knew she had been wrong to kiss him; he has a girlfriend. Oh god Rachel, what did you just do? But he did kiss you back, in spite of having a girlfriend. Did this mean he still wanted her? Her breath was hitched, the silence almost unbearable.

'What are you two still doing here?', a sudden voice said from behind. Both Rachel and Mike turned their heads at the same time to see Louis standing in de doorway.

'Nothing' 'Uh it's for Harvey – uh but we're done', they answered simultaneously. Mike had taken a step back, to create as many distance as possible between them. A horrible feeling of shame overwhelmed Rachel. Not only did she just kiss Mike, who has a girlfriend!, but there was also a big chance that Louis had seen them. She wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. To imagine that just seconds earlier, she wanted it to never end and stay on this spot forever, and now, all she wanted was to be anywhere but here; here in a room with Mike, who she had stupidly just kissed, and Louis, who was looking very judgmental at the both of them.

'Goodnight' - 'I see you later'

'Bye' - 'Bye'

They said awkwardly. Rachel quickly moved away from Mike and walked to the door. It seemed to take forever, but eventually she was able to move past the judging looks Louis was casting on her. She turned to the left and didn't stop moving. Her legs seemed to know where to go, and she let them steer the way. Her head was pounding of all the emotions she just had went through. How could she have done it? She kept asking herself. And why was she still craving for his lips back on hers?

It was only when she saw her own reflection, she noticed the surroundings of where her legs had lead her. She was in de ladies' bathroom. Her face looked normal. There was no hint of what was going on inside her head. She damned herself as she took some water and splashed it on her face, rather as a symbolic gesture to try and get rid of the feeling of embarrassment that was sneaking up on her.

It was only after half an hour that she had dared to leave the bathroom. The floor was only half lit and when she passed the library, it was empty. Rachel sighted and pressed the elevator button, wishing that she could erase her stupid action from Mike's everlasting memory.